OUR SECRET BABY

by Paula Cox

  When the bathroom door opens, Maya chucks me a smaller black plastic bag. It lands with a metallic thud on the bed. So this is what she meant by a surprise. I rake my hand through the coils of leather straps and chains. These aren’t the pink, fuzzy handcuffs she’s bought. “Funny. You never seemed like that kind of girl to me.”

  “And exactly what kind of girl did you think I was?”

  “Small. Cute. Clueless. A kid who just wanted attention.”

  “Who says I don’t want attention?”

  The bathroom door opens. Maya is wearing black socks tall as her thighs and a little swishy black skirt thin as a tissue. Her bra is so small her breasts are white with the pressure of it. She’s taking these big deep breaths too like she’s strapped into a car on a roller coaster and she’s about to take the plunge. It’s the first time I’ve seen her nervous.

  “Quinn,” she says softly. I don’t know why it is. None of the times before when she said my name have made me want her more than I want her now. But she was never so innocent as she is now. She’s still standing there in front of the bathroom door holding her hands in front of her like she’s about to recite a lesson and I can tell she’s putting on an act for me. She twists her toes into the carpet and bites her lower lip. “It’s—it’s my first time. You’ll go easy on me, won’t you?”

  My impulse is to laugh, but I don’t follow it. I stand up and throw off the blanket. Maya flinches, but I know what she wants. She’s been the one trying to keep control. Now she’s tired. She wants me to take her, and some of her wants me to punish her. Even if she doesn’t know it yet, she will soon enough.

  “No,” I growl. “I won’t.”

  I tangle her into my arms and shove her to my chest. Her elbows wing out and she throws her head back. “Kirill’t struggle. Kirill’t you dare struggle. It’ll only get more difficult.”

  “Please, Quinn. I thought you’d go easy if I—”

  I find her mouth and put mine over it and suck her into my kiss. She pushes against me. I lock both of her wrists in my hands and press them against the wall. My penis squishes up against her inner thigh, and I press up and in. Locking both her wrists with one hand, I move the other down her leg until I find the waistband of her tights.

  “You thought I’d go easy on you? Because you’re small? Because you thought we were just playing a game?” I kiss her so hard it hurts me. “Because you don’t want me to destroy you?”

  I move my tongue out of her mouth and kiss her throat, before moving my kisses up behind, nearer to the sensitive skin above her ear. She tilts her head up and empties out a long sigh. Her hand on my back presses me even closer to her. I slip two fingers down her waistband.

  “I don’t want a girl who only wants to play games.” I trace her ear with my tongue; the way she did with mine our first time. “I don’t need a girl who acts like a princess with me even while I’m fucking her. Out there you do what you want. Be your own person. But when you’re with me, you’re mine. All of you.”

  Her heart’s beating like mad, but that’s fine because mine is too. I’ve never talked to a girl like this before. Never told her the things I’m saying. It’s like Maya is there in my mind, helping me to force all of this out. A part of me I leave buried and show only when somebody’s got an Item aimed at my face, and it’s killed or be killed, and you know you’ve only got a few seconds to decide which one you’re gonna be. The part that wants violence.

  So I twist away a little bit and take a fistful of Maya’s beautiful blonde hair and tilt her head back so that she’s staring directly up at me. “You want that, don’t you?” Her hair is messed up, and I move a few strands out of her eyes. “You want to be mine. I can see it in your eyes.”

  “What do you see?” she strains the words out. The fingers I’ve slipped down her tights are petting the few short soft pubic hairs above her clit.

  “I see the way you’re looking at me. How wide your eyes are. I know you’re afraid. You want me to be tender and soft with you, as I’ve been. But more than that you want me to take control of you. And you’re afraid I won’t. You’re afraid I’m going to leave you.”

  I hold my fingers still, just above her vagina. She’s wet enough my fingers could just slip down and inside with just the slightest amount of pressure. I don’t give it to her. She squirms a little, even grabs my hand to move it down but I lock her wrist in mine.

  “No. You still haven’t learned that I’m the one who decides your pleasure. Not you. This isn’t your body anymore. Do you understand?”

  “Quinn…”

  “Tell me you understand, or we’ll stop right now, and I’ll leave you here by yourself. Yes or no?”

  “I understand,” she whimpers, moving her lips to my neck to try to kiss me. I move away. Her heartbeats explode against my chest.

  “That’s not good enough. Try again. Beg me to take control of you like you did before.”

  “I beg…”

  “Louder!” I slip both fingers into her clit. She’s so wet they go in even further and more easily than I’d imagined. My cock is still pressed against her thigh.

  “I beg you, Quinn!”

  She opens her mouth and lets me suck her back into my kiss, but just for a moment. I’m not going to give her an inch she doesn’t earn.

  “Get on the bed,” I order, releasing her. “Lay down and spread your legs.”

  Kinky sex hasn’t ever really been my thing. Up against the wall and doggy-style and different positions, and even spanking. But I’ve never had a girl who’s wanted me to use toys. Or tie her up. Or punish her. But the second I see the straps I know exactly what I’m going to do.

  “Here.” I toss her the pair of handcuffs from the end of the bed. “Which hand do you masturbate with?”

  “What?”

  “You heard what I said. Your left or your right?”

  “M-my right.”

  “Then handcuff your left. You’re going to find out that I control you, do you understand?” I attach the leather bracelet to her left ankle and pull the chain until it goes taut, then half hitch the knot over the bedpost. I do the same with the right so that her knees are spread out at something a little less than a ninety-degree angle. Maya handcuffs her left arm and hands me the key.

  “Do your legs hurt?”

  “A little.”

  “Good. It’s going to hurt a lot more when I’m finished. You’re afraid now, I know. But you’re going to like it when I’m done. You’re going to like it so much you’ll beg me for more.”

  I throw off my boxers and stand in front of her. I know that she wants me to lie down right now on top of her and fuck her until her head spins and truth be told there’s nothing I’d rather do more. But I’m not going to, not yet. I’m going to make her wait as long as she can. I’m going to show Maya Butler I’m in charge. After two months of driving her around Portsmouth and picking her up from clubs and taking her to museums, I’m going to make her work for me. I’m going to make her want it.

  I crawl on the bed, lean over, and start kissing her core. Maya is stretched out so far on the bed it’s as hard as a rock and shaking. I move down as gently as I can. Drawing little shapes with my tongue, I move down until I reach her waistband. My teeth clamp over it, and I begin to tear down, exposing her mons pubis and the pubic hairs I was massaging.

  Maya’s breathing so hard I can feel the air from her nose on my hair.

  I get up on my knees, straddling her. “Put your hand on my cock,” I order her. She reaches out tentatively until she has a good fistful. “Good girl. You like how that feels, don’t you?”

  “I love it, Quinn.”

  “Do you know what I can do with this when I put it inside you? Do you know how it’s going to feel when I fuck you?”

  “Fuck me now. Please, Quinn. I want it so much.”

  “I know you do. But that’s not your decision. It’s mine. Now take your hand away and put your hand on your belly.”

  I can feel the reluct
ance as she takes her hand away and cups it over her bellybutton.

  “Further down, to your pubes. Rub yourself. But don’t touch your vagina until I tell you.”

  I watch her fingers slip down, careful not to disobey and go too far. She’s learning. And even if it takes the whole day, the whole rest of the week, she’ll have learned to obey me.

  “Keep rubbing,” I say, and lean down to collect what I’d taken off the bed when Maya strapped herself in. “Kirill’t stop until I say so.”

  She nods obediently. Christ, she’s gorgeous. Everything about her I suddenly find incredible. It’s not just her thin, beautiful body and how soft her skin is and how bright and golden her hair shines. Each time I look at her, it’s like I’m seeing her again for the first time and each first time I find something new. But I don’t say anything like this yet, of course. I don’t want to distract her, and I don’t want her to know how I think of her. How much I want her. I don’t want her to know it. I want her to concentrate on herself, concentrate on what I’m about to do to her.

  “I’ve got something in my hand,” I say once I’ve got a good handle on it. “Do you think you can guess what it is?”

  “There’s only one thing I can even think of.”

  “Close.” I lean towards her and kiss her delicately on the lips, then pull back as she comes forward. “But you’re completely wrong.”

  I move the chain slowly over her chest. She quivers at the cold touch of the steel. The clamps, I notice now, are in the shapes of butterflies. It adds a strange, girlish touch to the device.

  “You know what these are?” I hold up the clamps. She nods feebly. “Then you know that when I put these on your nipples, it’s going to hurt. You may even tell me you don’t want it.”

  “No. I want everything you want. My body is yours.”

  “We’ll see. Now, slip a finger inside your clit. I’m going to put these on. And then I am going to fuck you until you beg me to stop.”

  Chapter 14

  I tear down Maya’s small, black bra. Her small breasts pop out like they’ve just been waiting this whole time for someone to let them out, and her delicate nipples are erect.

  “Good God,” I whisper. I can’t help myself. It’s the first time I’ve had a long look at her completely naked body.

  “What?”

  “Your body.”

  “What about it?” I can hear the concern, the fear, and the anticipation in her voice.

  “Nothing. I’m just imagining all the things I’m going to do to it.” I lean back over and pull her into a longer, deeper kiss. One of those full, wet ones that only she can give me.

  “Are you still rubbing yourself?”

  “I never stopped.”

  “Good. Put one finger inside. Kirill’t touch your clit.”

  I can see below me that she’s obeying. Her breaths become deeper. Her eyelashes flutter. But she hasn’t experienced anything yet.

  “Do you like that? Do you like what I’m doing to you?”

  She doesn’t say anything back. I determine that’s a good sign. It’s about time we started.

  “Whatever I do next,” I say, “you must obey me. Everything I say. If you can do that for me, I will put my cock inside of you. Do you understand?”

  “Par-fait.”

  “Good.”

  I unbuckle the collar and slip it over her throat, making sure it’s tight. Maya’s breathing gets faster.

  “Two fingers.”

  I squeeze her left nipple like it’s a pea and dangle it between my fingers. I touch the tip with my tongue and envelop the whole thing with my mouth.

  “Harder.”

  “It’s about to be.”

  I size the nipple up with the clamp and lock it into place, the rubber ends pinching the delicate skin beneath. Maya gasps and lifts her back from the bed. She’s still moving her fingers. When I put the second clamp around her, she doesn’t make a sound.

  “Good girl,” I congratulate her. “Have you touched your clit?”

  “No, Quinn.”

  “Not once? Does it feel good?”

  “It’s alright. But I’ve been waiting for you. I want you.”

  “Kirill’t worry. Kirill’t worry about anything, my angel. I’m coming. But don’t stop. Keep going until I get there.”

  I’ve still got my cock against her thigh, and it’s in pain from grinding up against her skin, but I still don’t put it inside her. Flicking the chains I put pressure on the clamps while teasing her with my tip, hovering just over the threshold between her and I. We’re almost there. So close. I pull the chain harder and Maya cries and the cry curls upwards and is almost a scream.

  And then, suddenly it’s too much. I can’t just stay watching her any longer. I need to experience her physically. I want to experience all of her, learn all of her.

  I yank the tights bunched around her waist down, past her knees and tear her arm away. She immediately puts it on her nipples but I growl for her to leave it at her side and she obeys. I’m positioned just below her, and as gently as I can, I open her vagina and slip one curled finger inside her, cradling her.

  “Give it to me, Quinn,” Maya says, over and over again. “I’m ready. I’m yours. Give it to me.”

  And I do. Slowly at first, the way she moved slowly on me when she was sucking me off. The way we moved when we were in the shower, and I opened her up, and we explored each other for the first time.

  My tip presses against the slick, damp folds and I feel the pressure thundering from my cock to my heart to my head. And I can feel from Maya’s body shaking below me and from the mad beating of her heart that her sensations are a mirror of my own. Even in this small connection, we’re already becoming one person. I slip in and immediately go in deeper than when we were in the shower. Three inches. Four inches. It’s such an easy fit. It’s like it was made for me. The folds pull me down, and it’s so easy to let go and ride with it, down with her, down so deep inside I can feel her getting larger with me.

  Maya gasps with the fullness of my cock, and I’m worried it’s too much so I slip out a little.

  “No!” she wraps her arm around my back and pushes me in another inch. And now I know something else about Maya. There are two Maya’s I’ve been guarding when I thought there was only one. And only one of those is the cute, small and fragile Maya who walks through exhibits of Estonian photography, almost walks off docks, buys a coffee and makes sure at least half of it is made of whipped cream, and who wants me to make love with her in the shower but not too hard because she’s afraid of getting hurt. But what I was missing was that there was this Maya as well. The one buried by her father and desperate to get out, who looked at me with a dangerous gleam in her eye the night I picked her up from the club. The one I’ve got beneath me now, rotating her thighs back and forth in order to work me deeper inside of me. The one who pulls on the chain connecting the thong around her throat to her nipple and cries with the mix of pain and pleasure.

  And then I understand. I understand why she’s thrusting herself upwards to meet my thrust, and why she’s tugging the chains around and around, pulling this second, caged Maya out of her prison. I know why she won’t let me sacrifice even one inch. Because I am her freedom. I’m the one who has opened her cages. I’m the only one who can keep her free.

  So I plunge in, all seven inches. The end of my cock rides just below the surface of her belly.

  “You want all of this?” I grunt. “You want it again?”

  “Yes.” Her eyes fill with tears, and I don’t know if it’s from the pleasure or the pain or both.

  “Say it again.”

  “Yes!”

  “Who do you belong to?”

  “You.”

  “Say my name,” I whisper. My core goes tight holding in my load, but I’m not going to take myself out of her until I’ve heard what I need to hear.

  “Quinn!” she cries.

  Her body goes electric beneath mine. The spasms of pleasure rid
ing through her pass through me and through my cock and up into my brain, numbing me like some kind of delicious punch to the skull. For a second nothing in me can move, like whatever passed through Maya and into me has frozen every muscle in my body. And then I’m aware of a single thought that everything Maya’s been saying is wrong; that everything I’ve told her to say is wrong. Because I don’t own her. I am still her slave. Just as she is mine.

  I snap forward, my body rigid, and push everything into Maya. Her hand tugs me forward, begging me to release. To seal together what we’ve just fought for. And push up inside her all I can. Commit to her with everything I have. Release.