Aloha, Lugosi! The Gretch Bayonne Action Adventure Series Book #4

by Steven M. Thomas

  “You can hunt whales all the way back to Honolulu as far as I am concerned,” I said.

  The men smiled as they exited the pilot room, slapping each other on the back all the way. We could hear them cheering and dancing on the deck behind us, accompanied by Hiwanda on a dead man’s harmonica.

  “You didn’t really mean that, did you?” Crumby asked.

  “It’s been a long, strange trip,” I replied. “I can’t even fathom them getting lucky enough to harpoon a whale. But I am not going to be the one to stop them from trying.”

  “You’re a good man, Bay,” the captain said. “I knew that from the moment you told me what your mission was. This man, Lugosi is lucky to have you as a friend.”

  “No,” I replied. “It is me who is lucky. He’s done everything for me. He got me into movies. He let me live in his home. Hell, he even gave me his Packard. And he never asked for anything in return.”

  I took the pilot’s wheel from the captain and stared out the front window into the blue ocean ahead of us. We were close to the end. I could feel it.

  “Are you going to be all right?” the captain asked.

  “I don’t know,” I answered. “But I just thought of something.”

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “When we reach the end of the alley,” I said, “I’ll make you and the crew a deal.”

  “You don’t want to go whaling,” Crumby answered. “And that is fine. I understand. You don’t have to make us any deal.”

  “It’s not about whales,” I replied. “When we’ve hit the end of the islands, instead of heading back to Honolulu, I want to go straight to America and I want you all to come with me.”

  I don’t know much about the Pacific, but I do know that the shortest distance between two points is in a straight line. It occurred to me that it would be going out of the way to go all the way back to Honolulu first. I couldn’t bear to go back down the alley. I’d rather take the lot of them with me in the open Ocean and hope for the best.

  “And then what?” Crumby asked. “We would have to sail all the way back to Hawaii. Do you know how long that would take?”

  “You could stay in San Francisco,” I replied. “I have friends there. You could charter your boat from there and live in California.”

  “I would love to, but it isn’t that easy,” the captain replied. “We are not United States citizens. They wouldn’t allow us to just live there forever.”

  “Then you become citizens,” I answered. “I can make that happen. You could make more money there than in Hawaii, I guarantee it!”

  “And just how are you going to make that happen?” Crumby asked. “I’ve inquired about it, and the laws are very complicated.”

  “I told you,” I answered, “I know people.”

  “Like who?” he asked. “Whom do you know that could accomplish that?”

  “The President,” I replied.

  “The President of what?” the captain asked.

  “The President of the United States of America,” I answered. “I know Franklin Delano Roosevelt.”

  Chapter Forty-Eight

  Speck said there were tiny people on the island coming up. By this point, I had little trust in his ability to distinguish colors, much less sizes, so I had a look for myself.

  “He’s right,” I told the captain. “It is an island full of native midgets.”

  “Like pygmies?” he asked.

  “I guess so,” I replied. “Midgets, pygmies, whatever you want to call them. They are very short.”

  “How short are we talking about?” the captain asked.

  “It’s kind of hard to tell from here,” I answered. “Maybe three feet high.”

  “There is a legend about little people in Hawaii,” the captain replied. “But they only come out at night and are incredible builders. There is a bridge on Honolulu that was said to be made by these little people.”

  “Well, apparently they moved to this little island,” I said. “And they all just all ran into a cave.”

  I sat the binoculars down and ran out to the deck.

  “Barber, Sharkey!” the captain yelled, “grab the Winchesters!”

  The four of us lowered ourselves in the dinghy, leaving Speck and Hiwanda to wait and watch as we headed towards the island.

  “I don’t like this,” Barber said as we walked up the beach. “I don’t trust the little bastards!”

  We fanned out, rifles raised as we climbed the hill towards the cave. The smell of smoke hung in the air, indicating to me that the volcano was at least somewhat alive and kicking. There was a small opening at the mouth of the volcano.

  “I bet that is where they live,” Barber said, going in first without fear.

  “I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said. “I don’t think Bela is here.”

  “Only one way to find out,” Sharkey said, smiling as he followed Barber into the darkness.

  Son of a bitch! I thought. I wasn’t about to go in next. It wasn’t difficult to convince Crumby that we should wait outside while Barber and Sharkey went exploring.

  A good ten minutes passed before we heard the first shot. Several more echoed out of the cave, so we had no choice but to go in. The entrance opened up into a huge cavern lit by torches. No one was in sight, and several pathways led off in different directions.

  “What now?” I asked.

  “We could split up,” the captain replied. “Or wait until we hear something else.”

  “Splitting up is not a good idea!” I said.

  A strange grinding noise came from the distance down one of the pathways. It sounded like wheels slowly squeaking. It was a horrifying sound and conjured up images of an old train about to go off the tracks.

  We followed the dark pathway which became very hot and humid. It led to a large cave that was lit up with torches and filled with little people with fat bellies and long hair and fingernails. At one corner we saw Barber and Sharkey laid out on bizarre metal tables. They had been tied down, their mouths stuffed with what appeared to be pieces of pineapple.

  The tables the men were strapped to were on wheels made of rock, and the damned pygmies were rolling them towards a fire that came from a wall in the cave.

  “What the hell are they doing?” Crumby whispered.

  “It looks like they are getting ready for a barbecue,” I answered.

  Crumby aimed his rifle and started firing. He managed to pull off several shots before I could even focus my Winchester. The damned pygmies scrambled like a six egg special at Rosie’s Café. I could barely keep up with the captain. He must have dropped a dozen of them in less than a minute.

  The little bastards took off towards another pathway, leaving Barber and Sharkey slowly rolling down towards the hot end of well done. Crumby and I jumped in front of the carts and stopped them just six feet from the giant oven. We cut their ropes loose and pulled the fruit from their mouths.

  “Come on!” Crumby yelled as we ran back to the entrance of the volcano.

  We were met by a very excited Speck as we escaped from Midget Cave. He had a large bag over his shoulder and a look of pure fear in his eyes.

  “What are you doing here?” I asked. “You should not leave Hiwanda alone on the ship!”

  “I knew you needed help,” he replied. “So I brought these!”

  “What is it?” I asked.

  Speck pulled a stick of dynamite out of the bag and handed me a pack of matches.

  “In case you want to blow something up,” he said. “Remember?”

  Normally, I would resist the temptation that might get me killed in the end. But these weren’t normal circumstances. These little bastards were about to make blue-plate specials out of my crew. I felt obligated to teach them that there is a difference between having guests over for dinner and having guests for dinner.

  “Butt me,” I said.

  With a lit cigarette in one hand and a huge bagful of dynamite over my shoulder, I strode back into Pygmy Land
. Hell, for some reason, I wasn’t even afraid.

  I don’t know how many sticks of TNT I threw. It must have been at least one hundred or more. When it was all over, I couldn’t hear anything but a sharp ringing in my head. But we got Barber and Sharkey back. And the damned restaurant was closed for good.

  Chapter Forty-Nine

  Speck was shouting like a crazy person from the crow’s nest.

  “We’re almost there!” he yelled as he slid down to the deck.

  “Another green one?” I asked.

  “No,” he replied. There’s nothing on it, it’s Horn Rock!”

  “What the hell is that?” I asked.

  “That means we’ve almost reached the end of the alley,” the captain said. “After Horn Rock,” there’s just one island left.”

  When we finally sailed passed her, it was obvious where she got her name. It was about the size of a baseball field. And the majority of the island was filled with water. Two tall rocks were on each end of the lake on one side. They looked like massive horns.

  “That’s quite the striking landmark,” I said.

  “And over there,” Speck said pointing, “about three miles away, is the last island!”

  It was capped with a huge volcano, like most of the other rocks. But this one appeared to be smoking.

  “Is that thing supposed to be doing that?” I asked.

  “No,” the captain replied. “It wasn’t smoking the last time we were there.”

  “That doesn’t sound good,” I replied.

  “The natives aren’t too friendly either,” Barber said.

  Crumby explained that they had searched the island for the treasure, but came up with nothing. If we gave the natives the china we found in the crate, they probably wouldn’t kill us.

  “Just Bay and I will go this time,” the captain said. “You all keep an eye out, and if anything goes south, start lobbing cannon balls.”

  I didn’t know what to be more concerned about—the natives or the damned volcano. Either one of them could kill us. And just as we were getting ready to lower the dinghy, the volcano let out an awful whoosh. Smoke and fire bellowed towards the sky for a few minutes, then it went away. Just like that.

  “This damned thing could blow at any minute, couldn’t it?” I asked.

  “Maybe,” the captain said. “Volcanoes are fickle things. It might not go up for a hundred more years.”

  Hiwanda was not happy about the fireworks and didn’t want me to step foot on the island. I explained that I had no choice. This was the very last rock on the alley. I had to go.

  I decided to anchor the boat much further away from the island than we usually did. If she went up in flames, at least the crew would have a fighting chance to escape unharmed.

  Before we had a chance to drop the anchors, Sharkey shot off the damned harpoon into the ocean. “I got it!” he yelled as the rope zipped out of the harpoon and disappeared into the water. Then all hell broke loose. The boat was being dragged through the ocean sideways by whatever the hell Sharkey had just harpooned.

  “You got what?” I screamed as I ran towards the harpoon.

  “A whale!” Sharkey yelled. “I got a whale!”

  I grabbed a machete and began whacking the thick rope in hopes of freeing us. As the rope snapped, something surfaced a hundred yards ahead of us.

  “That was no whale!” I said. “You just harpooned a damned sub!”

  The ship barely broke the top of the water before disappearing again.

  “Are you sure?” Sharkey asked. “It looked like a whale to me!”

  “Forget it!” the captain said. “Now drop the anchors and load the china into the dinghy!”

  “That thing could have capsized the ship!” I yelled. “What the hell were you thinking?”

  Crumby and I pushed the dinghy off and started rowing towards Fire Island.

  “It’s the damned Nazis,” I said. “They’re still following us. And Sharkey just shot at their sub.”

  “I know what happened,” the captain said. “Let’s just keep rowing and get this over with.”

  About halfway between the Eclipse and Fire Island, we heard an awful explosion. We ducked down in the dinghy, covering our heads and expecting fire to rain down on us at any second. When that didn’t happen we sat up and looked towards the island. Nothing had changed. Just a little smoke was coming from the volcano.

  Crumby turned around to look towards the Eclipse. He looked like twelve miles of bad road as he pointed towards the ship. I turned to look back at our vessel, but it was not there. You could see debris in the water, but that was about it. The ship was gone.

  It was clear what had happened. We didn’t want to believe it, but there was no denying the truth. The submarine had sunk our ship. Not only was she gone, but everyone onboard must have been killed instantly. Barber, Sharkey, Speck, were all gone. And Hiwanda. The island girl who insisted on coming along with us on my god forsaken mission. The lady who had saved me from going insane the last weeks was gone in an instant. I never should have let her come. But I really had no choice in the matter. She was my wife.

  Chapter Fifty

  We rowed towards Fire Island with a new found passion. This would be our last stop. I didn’t even think about how we would get off the island. Hell, quite frankly, I didn’t care if I died. And I had never felt that way before.

  Barber was right about the natives. They weren’t the least bit interested in us. But they cleaned the dinghy out of china and hauled it up the hill, leaving us alone on the beach.

  The island shook slightly as more smoke and ashes came shooting out of the top of the volcano. “Let’s go,” I said, heading up the hill.

  “Bay,” Crumby yelled. “Wait! Look!”

  The captain was pointing down the beach. A man who looked nothing like a native was headed our way, followed by two huge elephants.

  “Was that your ship?” the man asked.

  “Yes,” I said. “It was blown up by the damned Nazis. My wife was among those on board.”

  “Oh dear,” he said in a British accent. “I’m terribly sorry to hear that.”

  He looked to be in his mid-fifties and was wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt.

  “The name’s Winston,” he said, extending his hand.

  “Who are your friends?” I asked.

  “This is Daisy and Pete,” he replied.

  The elephants stared at us and raised their trunks. There was something about the twinkle in their eyes that made me think these were very smart animals. And it wasn’t lost on me that the psychic Veita Jo had mentioned elephants when she told me where Lugosi was.

  “How did they get here?” I asked.

  “According to the natives, they came from a large boat who was taking them to the Honolulu Zoo. The vessel hit a rock and capsized. Daisy and Pete swam to this island. That was over a year ago.”

  “What about you?” I asked. “Why are you here? This doesn’t seem like a real safe place to be right now.”

  “I’ve been coming here off and on for ten years now,” he explained. “I discovered it accidentally. Sometimes I will stay for a few weeks. Sometimes a few months. It just depends on when the seaplanes come, really.”

  “Seaplanes?” Crumby asked. “Are there any here now?”

  “Oh, no,” he answered. “I think I missed them yesterday. I saw them fly over from the other island.”

  “What other island?” I asked.

  “The one right next to this one,” he said, pointing back towards where he’d just walked from.

  “I thought this was the last island,” I replied. “There’s another one?”

  “Yes,” he answered. “The last island is just across the way from here. It is smaller and prettier. And there’s no volcano there.”

  I finally got around to explaining that we were looking for Lugosi, and as soon as I mentioned Bela’s name, Winston let out a big laugh.

  “A nice man!” he said. “And his wife is lovely to
o.”

  “You’ve seen them?” I asked. “Where are they?”

  A loud boom shook the beach, followed by a rain of hot ashes that forced us to run into the water. The elephants were right behind us. Suddenly, I found a damned good reason to keep living.

  Winston climbed onto one of the elephants backs and instructed Crumby and I to do the same. We found ourselves on the other side of the island. Sure enough, like Winston had told us, there was yet another island just across the water.

  “Is that where he is?” I asked.

  “Yes,” Winston answered. “But you will have to take my boat to get there. That stretch of water is constantly filled with sharks. Shark alley, they call it. I won’t allow Daisy and Pete to swim there.”

  The boat Winston was referring to wasn’t much bigger than I was. I could barely fit in it. It was obvious that Crumby would have to stay behind. I looked at him as he pushed me off into the water.

  “You wait right here for me!” I yelled.

  “Where the hell would I go?” the captain yelled back. “You just find your friend!”

  Winston was right about the damned sharks. They were all over the place. Some of them were bigger than my boat. Their fins were breaking the top of the water all around me. Several of them actually bumped my boat and I was afraid it would capsize and I’d be eaten alive. I thought of Hiwanda’s story about Shark Man. This sure as hell wasn’t how I wanted to die. So I rowed faster and faster until I finally reached the other island.

  The only thing on the beach was a small sailboat. Otherwise, it was completely deserted. After walking up the hill, it became obvious that there was indeed no one on this island. There were a few large hills and a lot of grass, but that was about it.

  I finally reached the other side, and lo and behold, there were several men with bags and trunks standing on the beach.

  “Hey!” I shouted. “Hello!”

  “What are you doing here?” one of them asked.

  “I am looking for Lugosi!” I yelled. “I was told he is here!”