Color of Deception

by Khara Campbell

  Pete lay back on his bed after kicking off his slippers, tears streamed down his face. His heart ached at the reality of his life, the true reality – he was a widower. And perhaps pretending that his wife would soon walk back into their bedroom, alive and well, and hug and kiss him because she loved and missed him so much after having been gone so long; and to make to love to him to express how much she needed him like he needed her – was only a dream and he needed to come to terms with the truth. Pete closed his eyes and prayed he would have a dream of his lovely wife, but Debra’s face overtook his dreams that night.

  Chapter 7

  One thing Carlisha had learned and grown accustomed to, was solitude. She thrived on it. Some may have thought she should hate it having grown up in the foster care system, but she loved it – it was all she knew, it was the constant in her life.

  Carlisha sat alone in her small one-bedroom apartment while she stared at the ultrasound picture. It was a boy! She was having a baby boy. She didn’t know what to expect when the ultrasound technician placed the device on her stomach to find out the sex of the baby. All she hoped for was a healthy child and one baby instead of multiples. And there he was – her bundle of joy, her prince, her life, her son floating around in her womb. Tears wet her face now as they did then when she saw her son, opening and closing his eyes for the first time on the monitor in the doctor’s office. She had never felt such joy in her life. She wondered if her parents felt the same way about her when her mother carried her in her womb. She didn’t even remember what her parents looked like. If she were to see a picture of them she wouldn’t know it was them. Sometimes she felt like an alien in the world – completely detached. But as she looked at the picture of her son she felt like she belonged – that she had purpose now. Carlisha rest the ultrasound picture on her lap and began to rub her belly over her dark blue shirt. She was still hiding her pregnancy, but she figured she would have to reveal it to others soon. She knew she had to let Pete know soon because she would need time off – at least six weeks, after she had the baby.

  She contemplated calling Roger, her ex, who dumped her after she told him she was pregnant. He needs to know we’re having a son, even if he doesn’t want to have anything to do with us. Carlisha reached down to the side of the chair she was sitting in and picked her purse up off of the floor. She looked in her purse for her cellphone. She pulled it out and searched for Roger’s number in her cell.

  “Roger, hey…”

  “Carlisha what do you want? If you’re still talking that baby mess I don’t have anything to say,” Roger spat after realizing it was her.

  “Never mind!” Carlisha shouted back. “I don’t know why I called your sorry behind in the first place.”

  “Forget you then – thot! That baby probably isn’t even mine,” Roger rebutted before he hung up.

  Carlisha threw the phone to the side and it landed softly on the couch to the right of her. She refused to cry over Roger. “We’re better off without him,” she spoke out loud, rubbing her belly again. “I don’t know why I got involved with him to begin with.” Carlisha’s cellphone began ringing and she looked over at it ringing on the couch. She got up and walked over to pick it up. It was Roger calling her back. She wanted to ignore it, but she was curious as to why he was calling her back.

  “Hello.”

  “Babe I’m sorry,” Roger said softly.

  “Huh – really?” Carlisha placed her free hand on her hip, she was amazed at his pathetic apology.

  “Yes really, I’m sorry. Can I come over?”

  “You must have lost your mind. Not only did you call me a thot, but you’re denying that I’m pregnant with your baby.”

  “Come on Carlisha, I said I’m sorry – damn!”

  Carlisha paused for a moment and looked out the window of her apartment at the open field where a few kids and parents were playing. “Alright baby, you can come over, I’ve really been missing you…”

  “I’ve been missing you too babe – I can’t wait to lay it on you tonight.”

  “…Ha! You must think I’m a fool. I know all you want is sex. What happen – no other woman fell for your sorry mess tonight?”

  “Forget you Carlisha!”

  “Do me a favor Roger and erase my number from your phone like I’m deleting yours!” Carlisha interjected before she hung up the phone and sat down on the couch. She felt the sooner she erased Roger from her heart and mind – the better. She reached for her marketing textbook off the coffee table. She had upcoming exams she desperately needed to study for. She was determined to create a great life for her and her unborn son – giving him a family she always desperately wanted.

  Chapter 8

  “Oh my God! My heart was pounding so fast during the exams,” Debra expressed when she walked out of the classroom. “But I think I passed all of them – at least I hope so. I’m too old to have to repeat classes next semester.”

  “You are not old! I told you to stop saying that,” Carlisha interjected, she walked beside Debra.

  “Well I feel like an old woman being in college classes with all you twenty-something year olds.”

  “How old are you really, anyway?” Carlisha and Debra maneuvered through the crowd of college students that were exiting the exam room.

  “I’m forty-two. But being around you young kids make me feel like I’m seventy,” she laughed.

  “I thought you were in your mid-thirties. But you’re still not old.” They walked toward the exit.

  “Thanks! That makes me feel better being around you kids. I’m so happy that was the last exam – I can breathe now.”

  “Yeah, me too! I need a break from studies. I only have three classes left before I get my BA, what about you?” Carlisha pushed the glass door open.

  “I have ten. But I am determined to be done by summer of next year. I’m going to continue taking the accelerated courses.”

  “I’m parked over there.” Carlisha pointed to the left where her old model two door Honda was parked. Carlisha had borrowed two thousand dollars from Pete and Moriah two years ago to buy the car and to cover licensing and insurance. It wasn’t the latest, but it was her own and she took great care of it.

  “Thanks for giving me a ride to work. My mechanic said my car should be ready to pick-up on Friday.” Debra followed Carlisha into the parking lot.

  “It’s not a problem. It’s on my way home.”

  “So Debra, why did you decide to go back to college now?” Carlisha turned left on the highway to exit the university’s parking lot.

  “Well after my divorce and my ex-husband left me with nothing, I decided to go back to get my business degree to start new and make a better life for myself. I never want to be in a position again where I am completely vulnerable to someone else.”

  “Do you have any children?”

  “No. I can’t. Brian and I tried, but I never got pregnant. He left me for a woman that had his baby,” Debra sadly confessed. “We were married for eight years.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry,” Carlisha expressed sincerely. She looked quickly over at Debra sitting in the passenger seat with her seat belt fastened. She knew why she liked Debra right away when they were paired up a few weeks ago to go a marketing project – Debra reminded her of Moriah. At least her natural red did. Plus she had a nice personality.

  “It’s okay. I’ve gotten over him. We’ve been divorced for two years. I was finally able to move out of my parent’s basement and into a small rental house.”

  “That’s great!” Carlisha felt the urge to spit. Her mouth welled up with saliva. As soon as she came to a stop light she placed the car gear in park and quickly opened the door to spit.

  “Are you okay?” Debra asked, concerned as she watched Carlisha bent over spitting on the ground.

  “Can you pass me some tissue out of the glove box?”

  Debra passed her some tissue as Carlisha closed the car door. “I noticed you spitting in napkins during the exam too.”

>   “I’m fine, just got a bad taste in my mouth.” Carlisha put the car back in drive and drove forward after the light turned green. She was at seven months pregnant now but still hadn’t told anyone about her pregnancy, she didn’t know how much longer she would be able to disguise her growing belly either. There never seemed to be a right time to tell. But with Debra opening up to her about her divorce, she felt comfortable enough to share the truth. “Actually to be honest, I’m pregnant. Seven months.” Carlisha pulled at her black and gold button down top with her free hand, pulling it from underneath her seat belt, and revealed her little mound of a belly.

  “Oh Wow! Congratulations! I would’ve never guessed.” Debra was amazed at how well Carlisha hid her growing bump.

  “Thank you!” Carlisha covered up her belly.

  “But why are you keeping it a secret?” Debra knew if she could’ve gotten pregnant she would want to scream it from the rooftops.

  “Well I’m not really trying to keep it a secret. I just like keeping it to myself. There’s really no one for me to tell.” Carlisha admitted sadly with her eyes focused on the road ahead of her.

  “What about the father?”

  “He is denying that he’s the father, so that left nobody else to tell.”

  Debra was surprised that Carlisha would have to deal with her pregnancy all on her own. “What about your family?”

  “I don’t have a family.” Carlisha suddenly realized another reason why she in fact didn’t have much of a desire to tell anyone about her pregnancy, because she would once again be reminded of the fact that she was all alone in the world. She had no one she could say was kin to her, or at least no one that would admit it because she knew she had to have family out there somewhere.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that.” Debra now felt that her problems were slim in comparison to Carlisha’s. She couldn’t imagine not knowing who her family was. Debra wanted to find out more about why Carlisha didn’t know her family but she didn’t want to pry any further. It seemed talking about her pregnancy was making Carlisha sad enough.

  “It’s okay. I’ve gotten used to it.” Carlisha turned right into the parking lot for the grocery store. She pulled into a parking spot.

  “Thanks for the ride to work!” Debra turned around and got her messenger bag and purse from the backseat.

  “You’re welcome! I have to run in and get a few things anyway. I feel like eating tacos tonight.”

  When Carlisha and Debra made their way toward the entrance of the grocery store, Pete exited carrying two bags of groceries. Pete noticed Debra and Carlisha walking together. He was surprised to see them chatting as if they knew each other well.

  “Hi Pete…” Carlisha greeted when she noticed Pete a few steps ahead of them.

  “Looks like I just missed you, Debra,” Pete said, holding up his two bags of grocery, completely ignoring Carlisha’s greeting. He had intentionally gone to the store in hopes of seeing Debra. Just now was the most he had said to her in one sentence since she first rang up his groceries a few weeks ago. He felt like a schoolboy begging for a girl’s attention. But he also felt guilty for having such a strong attraction to her. He had been making frequent trips to Moriah’s gravesite, begging for his dead wife’s forgiveness because it felt like he was cheating on her and their marriage.

  Debra looked at Pete, surprised that he knew her name, but then she suddenly remembered he was a regular customer. “Yes. My shift is just about to begin.” She smiled then continued to walk off with Carlisha. “Do you know him?” Debra asked as she walked beside Carlisha into the store.

  “Yes. He’s my boss.”

  “Wow, he just completely ignored you just now. That’s rude,” Debra called out.

  “Yeah but he sure noticed you.” Carlisha could see why Pete would be attracted to Debra. He’s young. It would be good for him to find love again. Maybe that would help him get over his anger. Carlisha grabbed a cart.

  “He’s probably just being a friendly customer. Though he seems like a terrible boss to be so rude to you. I’ll see you soon. I have to change into my uniform.” Debra waved goodbye to Carlisha and made her way to the back of the store.

  Chapter 9

  “Hey, what’s all this?” Carlisha asked Debra after opening up her front door for her. Debra had a huge yellow gift bag in her hand which looked heavy. When Debra called her twenty minutes ago and told her she was coming over, Carlisha didn’t expect her to be bringing gifts.

  “This is my, pamper pregnant friend package,” Debra announced stepping into the small, modestly furnished apartment after Carlisha moved to the side to let her in.

  “Really!?” Carlisha smiled brightly at her friend’s thoughtfulness.

  “Yes. I’ve got everything for us to do facials, foot soaks, chick flicks and even a bottle of apple cider. We’re gonna have a girls day in!” Debra set the bag on the small kitchen counter and began pulling out all her items.

  “Wow, thanks Debra! How did you know I needed this?”

  “Honey, this is for you and me both. Besides we deserve a treat after all the work we put in this semester. I had all this stuff in my house anyway. My sister gave these to me for one of my birthdays and I’ve never had a chance to use the products. I figured we can test them out together and see if they work.”

  “I thought you wanted to pamper me, not use me as a guinea pig,” Carlisha joked, walking over to Debra to inspect the items she was pulling out of the gift bag.

  “Of course it’s to pamper you. But if our skin breaks out it’s my sister’s fault,” Debra laughed.

  Carlisha joined her in the friendly laugh. “Ummm, on second thought, I’ll pass on the facial.”

  “Aww come on, I was only kidding. All these items are name brand stuff.” Debra pulled the foot spa from the bottom of the bag then walked over to the sink to fill it up with water. “So, how are you feeling? Still having bouts with spitting?”

  Carlisha walked into the living room and sat on the couch while holding a bottle of one of the products they’re going to use for their facials to read the ingredients. “Yeah, it comes and goes. It’s annoying, but I’m used to it now.”

  Debra walked into the living room carrying the foot spa filled with water. “Well that’s good.” She sat the foot spa down in front of Carlisha. “Where can I plug this up?”

  “There’s a socket right behind that chair.” Carlisha pointed to a red arm chair in the corner to the right of where she was sitting.

  “Okay, come sit over here. You can do your foot soak first since you’re the lady of honor.”

  Carlisha obliged her and sat in the red chair. Debra plugged in the foot spa and waited for the warm water to start bubbling up. She also placed some sea salts in the water then instructed Carlisha to put her feet in.

  “Oh my God! This is sooooooo nice,” Carlisha exclaimed moments after her feet were submerged in the soothing water. “Bless you Debra,” she grinned appreciatively. Carlisha leaned her head back against the chair taking in full relaxation mode.

  Carlisha suddenly realized just how much she needed this. Both physically and emotionally. A chance to relax and the opportunity to have a true friend in her corner. God, how I’ve needed this! She mused, drawing deep soothing breaths as the heat and bubbling water worked magic on her feet.

  Moments later Debra placed a champagne glass filled with apple cider into Carlisha’s right hand. She accepted it gratefully and took a sip after lifting her head from the chair. “Mmmm, nice and chilled.”

  “Let’s toast.” Debra stood in front of her holding her own glass of cider.

  “Toast to what?” Carlisha looked up at her quizzically.

  Cheerfully Debra said, “To friendship, and to your pending motherhood!”

  “I’ll drink to that!” They clinked their glasses then drank some of their cider.

  Debra turned and took two steps to the couch next to Carlisha’s chair and sat down. The springs in the old couch squeaked a little as she
sat. “So, what do you look forward to the most about being a mommy?” She set her champagne glass down on the small coffee table in front of her, then lifted her eyes to Carlisha. She noticed her growing bump a little more today since Carlisha had on a tight yellow tank top, instead of her usual dark loose tops. The tank she wore now really emphasized her growing midsection. Carlisha didn’t feel the needed to camouflage her pregnancy since she was in her own home and she had revealed her condition to Debra.

  Carlisha pressed her head back against the chair still holding the champagne glass in her hand. “I can’t wait to see my son’s face. Count his fingers and toes; make sure they’re all there.” She closed her eyes, envisioning what her child would look like. “I can’t wait to love on him. I want to give him the best life possible. Everything I missed not having my parents alive.”

  “Hmmmm. That’s wonderful Carlisha.” Debra fought back tears, sharing in her friend’s joy of pending motherhood. “Your son is going to be the luckiest kid ever to have a mommy like you!”

  “Thank you Debra! But I will be the lucky one.” Carlisha brushed away tears from her eyes with her free hand. So many times she’d prayed, wished, begged for her parents to resurrect from the dead and claim her from foster care – but of course that never happened. She’d missed out on family vacations, birthday celebrations, having family members at her kindergarten, middle school and high school graduations. Having someone in the crowd cheering her on as she played soccer. She longed for a family for as long as she could remember. Sure the social workers and other foster care children where there for her – but she knew that it was nothing like having a family of your own. When she met Moriah and her and Pete took her into their home, Carlisha finally felt like she had a family. But that all shattered to pieces after Moriah’s death. She didn’t want her son to ever experience the loneliness she felt growing up. To not have the unconditional love and support of family. She vowed to be all things to her son that she didn’t have as a child.