Of Sin & Sanctuary: A Revelry’s Tempest Novel

by K. J. Jackson

  His eyebrows lifted in slight exasperation of her rambling. “Tell me what, Vee?”

  Brushing her hands on her apron, she walked toward him. “I am still not positive I wish to tell you at this time.” She stopped halfway along the rose bed and met his eyes. “But it is not right that I know this and do not share the information with you.”

  His right hand curled into a fist, cracking his knuckles. At the sound, he instantly straightened his fingers. “There are lies?”

  “No, not lies.” She flipped her fingers in the air, waving away the absurdity. “Discoveries. While you were gone yesterday and last night I went over your ledgers. It was actually why I had come down to the study earlier this morning. To grab several more to peruse.”

  “You went through my ledgers?” His voice went hard.

  “I invaded your privacy, yes—but I have also seen these accounts before, at least the ones that existed before you assumed the title.”

  “How?”

  “Adalia asked me for my help when you were missing and she was attempting to hold the estate together. She knows I am adept at numbers and can manage to look at page after page of entries without tiring. So I did not think it too much of an intrusion yesterday. I have gone through all of the ledgers—except the newer ones—several times over in the past.”

  “So you decided to just invite yourself to do so again?”

  “You said no one was working on the mine because of lack of funds so I decided to try to discover a way forward for exploiting the new vein. Favors you could possibly call in—associates Caldwell or your father once helped that may be open to loans.” She gave a slight shake of her head. “But I made a grievous error, or rather, I missed a rather important entry when I went over the ledgers for Adalia—or quite possibly the name meant nothing to me at the time.”

  Theo took several steps toward her, closing the distance between them. The anger that had spiked in his eyes when she admitted to rifling through his ledgers had already dissipated. “What in heaven’s name are you talking about, Violet?”

  “You have a substantial loan out to Baron Telliton that was never repaid. It was years ago—long before Caldwell died, and I don’t imagine you looked back into the records that long ago. Baron Telliton gave him the note ten years ago, and it was only listed once—there was never any notation to collect—which was why I missed it.”

  “Baron Telliton? I do not know the man.”

  She smiled. “But I do. And I know for a fact Baron Telliton is a slippery eel. He visits the Revelry’s Tempest often, and he has attempted to get out of every note he has ever been issued by my bank. The crux of it is, he is actually rather wealthy. He just prefers to borrow and not pay the debts if he can manage it.” Her smile grew wider. “Oddly enough, if one actually calls him upon a note, he will pay it willingly. It is just that he manages to eschew most of them. He is slippery, that one.”

  “The bastard.”

  “Or a cunning gentleman, which is what I prefer to call him so he keeps losing at my tables. His is not the worst practice, if slightly dishonorable.” Her mouth quirked to the side as she gave him a tart glance. “He does, at least, have the actual funds to support his debts—which is better than half of the ton.”

  Theo’s eyes escaped upward to the glass dome of the conservatory. “Yes, your insinuation is taken and admitted to, Vee.”

  “Cognizant of you.” She stared at the line of stubble along his jaw—almost brown in color instead of blond. “You have not asked.”

  His look dropped to her. “What should I be asking?”

  “How much the debt is worth.”

  “Tell me.”

  “I know nothing of mines and how expensive it is to open up new tunnels around that vein, but will fifteen thousand pounds do as a start?”

  He stilled, staring at her as a slow smile crept onto his face. “Truly? That was what the note was for?”

  “It was. It may take Baron Telliton time to gather the necessary funds for repayment, but from what I know of his finances, I do believe he can do so.”

  Theo rushed to her in two steps, snatching her into the air and swinging her around in one madcap motion.

  Shock, and then instant laughter filled Violet’s lungs as her world went spinning. Six spins, and Theo set her down on the mossy brick pathway between the plant beds, her skirts fluttering about her legs. His hands didn’t move from their clasp around her waist.

  “How are you this…”

  “Astute?” she guessed, laughter still bubbling on her lips.

  “I was about to say calculating…intelligent…cunning—but I didn’t want to offend you in the slightest in this moment and I wasn’t sure which word was right.”

  She laughed. “I’ll take intelligent.”

  His face sobered. “But I must pay you for my losses first.”

  “No. These funds are much better spent getting the mine operational. As long as my loan with Mr. Olston is approved—and it should be with the mine as security—I shall be fine for the gala.” She grinned. “Be assured, of course, that when the mine is profitable, I will be the first in line demanding you pay off your losses in full.”

  “And you will get that payment.” The smile slowly carved back into his face. “Truly, Vee—those many years ago you never even gave hint to having all of this craftiness behind those blue eyes of yours.”

  “I did not need to be smart those many years ago—I was an heiress, so it was preferred that I was not.” Wedging her arm upward in between them, she flicked out a finger to poke his chest. “But that didn’t mean I didn’t possess the abilities.”

  “You hid them well.”

  Her lips drew inward and she leaned slightly against the clasp of his hands on her lower back. “I hope you did not think me a simpleton. I was young and participating in the game—the cat and mouse of it all—the best I could.”

  “No. Never.” He looked down at her, the mirth in his eyes darkening. “It is just the duplicity of it—we all hide things we do not want others to see.”

  “Hiding?” She grinned. “And just what are you hiding at the mome—”

  His lips dove downward, meeting her mouth and cutting her words. Hard, demanding—but with the buzzing excitement that had taken over his body. Excitement that had lit up his eyes when she had told him of the note—the same excitement in his eyes that she remembered seeing when she was eighteen and he had convinced her to sneak into the side gardens with him.

  Dangerous. Impulsive. Scandalous. He was everything she attempted to avoid at eighteen.

  She cared then. She didn’t now.

  His kiss deepened, his tongue slipping past her throbbing lips—lips that betrayed her instant surrender to his touch. Instant surrender to his hands, his body, the solid mass of him. He wasn’t soft—he never had been.

  It had been so long since she had allowed a man to touch her. She lost herself in the kiss, the world swirling around her, bringing her back in time. Back before the time of her husband. Back to when Theo kissed—truly kissed her like this. When she was young and without a care and he would kiss her so hard her toes would scrunch, a sweeping fire lighting every nerve in her skin.

  She could feel her body going limp. Every second that his tongue traced the swells in her mouth, slid along the line of her lower lip, she lost another sliver of control.

  Control she could not afford to lose. Not again.

  “That is what I was hiding at the moment.” A nip on her swollen bottom lip and he pulled away, his ice blue eyes intense. “I don’t know what to do with you, Violet.”

  “What to do with me?” Hazy from the kiss, her look fluttered to him.

  “You make me remember.” His eyes closed for a long second, his head shaking. His eyelids cracked to meet her gaze. “That is why I wanted you to come to Glenhaven. The mine, yes, but you—you make me…remember who I was. Remember how I could be. And it—you—are tangible. An anchor. Something to hold onto while I’m flailing, every mi
nute, every second of my cursed life.”

  The last wisps of fog evaporated in her mind as his words hit her. Their breath, their bodies still entwined, she realized how very close she had just come to losing control.

  To losing herself.

  She couldn’t disappear again. Lose herself to something she couldn’t control.

  “I cannot be your something to hold onto, Theo. I cannot.” She wedged her arms out from underneath his—out of captivity—and then pawed behind her to free his hands from her back. “I am happy I found Baron Telliton’s entry in the ledgers. Happy for you. But I cannot—I cannot afford you any more of me.”

  She jerked a step backward, scrambling. “Please excuse me. I need to prepare for the ball.”

  Instantly, Theo released her and she stumbled around him, making her way through the conservatory and into the cool confines of the house.

  Away. She needed away.

  Away from Theo. Away from what he had just made her feel. Away from what she realized she would need to give up in order to feel that cruel, magnificent tingle invading her body, begging for more. Begging for release.

  She could not afford herself the pleasure of that again.

  Not again. Not ever.

  Not at the price it would demand.

  { Chapter 9 }

  Violet smoothed the fine cerulean satin along her side and over the curve of her hip. Her gaze following the drape of the gown to the floor, she flipped the toe of her white slipper out. Clarissa had done a fine job during the last day in lengthening the gown Violet was borrowing from Adalia. The pair of Adalia’s satin slippers were a touch too small, but she would survive.

  Not a single thing to cause her not to attend the Vandestile ball. No sudden illness. No clothing mishaps. No bolts of lightning.

  Why had she so foolishly agreed to this? She had nothing left to prove to these people. Nothing left to give to the mighty Vandestile name. She had a new life far away. A life she could control. A life she was happy with.

  Of course, the last time she had seen these people, she had thought her life was perfect as well. She had thought she was happy. And that reality had quite viciously turned on her.

  Straightening her spine, Violet stepped to the side, peering out the window that abutted the front doors of Glenhaven.

  Clarissa had run to fetch Mr. Druper and the carriage, and Violet didn’t want to make her maid have to run into the house to collect her as well. She already had Clarissa running ragged as it was.

  “You look exquisite.”

  Violet hopped a tiny step, startled by Theo sneaking up upon her for the second time that day. Looking up the stairs leading into the foyer she found Theo walking down to her. “Thank you. The gown is one of your sister’s. I commandeered it for the purpose as I did not imagine I would need a ball gown during this excursion to Glenhaven.”

  “You will represent the Vandestile history well. They are sure to cower at your satin-clad toes.” He stepped onto the marble floor and Violet’s gaze ran over his clothing. Still in buckskin breeches, he was as far away from full dress as possible.

  “You are not going to accompany me to the ball?”

  His head tilted to the side as he considered her. “I did not think you preferred my company beyond what was necessary until we are back in London and I sign the note of guarantee.”

  “Oh no, Theo. You do not saddle me with this event, only to squirm out of attending it yourself.”

  His hands came up, palms high in defense. “I was merely thinking of your comfort. That you would not want to be forced with me into a coach for three hours each way.”

  Her right fingers curled, her knuckles landing on her hip. “No, you were thinking of your comfort.”

  “Possibly.” Theo grinned. “But truly, Violet, I did not think you wished to have me nearby.”

  “Why would I not wish that?”

  “Because you said as much in the conservatory.” His hand rubbed along the back of his neck, tousling the ends of rogue strands of hair. “Because I do not live up to your standards.”

  “Standards?” She took a step toward him, meeting his blue eyes. “You misunderstand why I cannot…” She shook her head. “I do not have standards that you do not meet, Theo. Not at all. But I do have things I want for you. Things I want for Adalia. I want you to fight for the Alton name. For your family. For the legacy you were given and must pass along. I want you to become the man I knew you would be five years ago—with or without a title.”

  His lower jaw shifted to the side as he nodded, his gaze dropping to the floor between them. His look lifted to her, the ice blue in his eyes uncannily warm. Hot, even. “And you? What do you want for you, Vee?”

  “Me?” Her eyes shifted to the stairs to avoid his gaze as her left hand lifted, flattening on the bare slope of her chest above the lace trim on her bodice. It took a long second before she could force herself to meet his eyes. “For me…for me, in this moment, I want you to hold my hand through this, Theo. I want a friend of old, someone I can trust, to prop me up before these people and ensure I do not break in front of them. They are rabid for it. Rabid for one last scandal they can embroil me in.”

  A half smile came to his face, wicked. “Then you should fight for what you want, Vee.”

  She laughed.

  He held his hand up, grin stretching across his lips. “No need. You will never have to fight to have me by your side. If you help me with my cravat, instead of waiting for Thompson to painstakingly tie it, I can be ready to leave in five minutes.”

  She exhaled, relief flushing through her body. “I would like that.”

  “Then we will go, meet the new viscount, and be done with the name of Vandestile for good, if that is what you wish—except for the small fact that you are Lady Vandestile, of course.”

  She smiled, her eyes sparkling as a chuckle came to her lips. “Yes, except for that particular bothersome issue.”

  He nodded. “I will not be long.”

  ~~~

  Theo glanced out the coach’s window at the main walk into Vandestile manor, the pathway lined with blazing torches. The heat of the warm spring day had not dissipated with the sun setting, and several couples loitered, making their way slowly to the tall arched doorway.

  His look veered back to Violet’s profile.

  She hadn’t made the slightest motion in three minutes, not since she had floundered as he was exiting the carriage, grabbing the tail of his coat and pulling him back inward. Mr. Druper had immediately closed the carriage door, and they had sat, Violet worrying her bottom lip, staring at the front door for far too long.

  “You were glowing an hour ago, Violet.”

  It took a long second, but she managed to drag her stare away from the window and look across the carriage at him. “And I am not now?”

  “No. Every step those horses have taken here has ripped a tiny piece of that glow from your eyes. I fear I will have to walk back on the return to Glenhaven and collect all the scattered pieces for you.”

  “If you are attempting to bolster my confidence so I will enter the party, Theo, that is a dismal start, telling me I don’t glow.”

  His head tilted to the side with a slight shrug of acknowledgement. “Glowing or not, Vee, you are beautiful. That has not changed. Do you know what else has not changed?”

  She lifted her eyebrows at him.

  “Everyone inside.” He pointed to the front door. “They are the same as always—all of those people in there. They are still humorous, boorish, smart, dumb, rude, polite, judgmental, charming—the gamut of all personalities. They do not change, the lot of them. So you know exactly what you will be walking into.”

  Her head swiveled back to the side, her look intent on the torches near the door. “Yes, and that is why I am cowering. They have not changed, but I have—and that is unforgivable in their eyes. I know exactly how they will skewer me, skewer the choices I have made, the constant barbs about the Revelry’s Tempest. How Malcolm tu
rned the estate into shambles. None of it is a secret.”

  “You—cower? I hardly believe it possible, Vee.”

  Her gaze swung to him, wry disbelief evident in her violet-blue eyes. “I have become that crusty of a widow?”

  He grinned. “You have become a force. There is a difference.”

  “Well, once I was a fool—I thought, believed down to my soul, that my old life was perfect. My husband. My home. And none of it was.” She inclined her head to the front door. “This home was the lie I lived within for years. And if I go in there, I have to contend with what a fool I was. How blind. What I was reduced to at the end.”

  “Have you not been back here since you opened the Revelry’s Tempest?”

  “No, not since—” She swallowed an audible gasp, her head bowing. She gave herself a slight shake, her gaze returning to the front facade of the neoclassical building. The full moonlight set the smooth white stones of the manor into a glimmer. “Not since Adalia took me from here and brought me to London. I dealt with all Vandestile matters by messengers, or Mr. Nullter travelled to London.”

  Theo stared at her, his eyes narrowing. Something dark—brutally dark—had just washed over her, swallowing her whole. A sadness, a pain he could not name, but recognized just the same. The same type of pain that had threatened to bring him to the bowels of hell time and again.

  He cleared his throat, setting a wide smile onto his face. A smile that reached his eyes, even though he had to force it. It was always about the eyes. The eyes could always fool—or just as easily betray the falsehood.

  He held the smile for a moment before he was sure he could maintain it. “Well, then this moment seems like a fortunate time to step foot in there again. Contend with this building when it is alive with people, when you cannot peel back the layers to see the dirt of the past. When that dirt cannot consume you.”

  She looked at him, her eyes wary. “I wanted to believe that I had left all this behind. It was past. But I haven’t, Theo. This has just been another lie I have been telling myself. And I am uncannily good at living in falsehoods.”