Dirty Cops Next Door

by Summer Cooper

  “Personal assistant,” Erik said quickly, cutting off Oliver who looked at him funny.

  I wondered what that look was all about.

  “I need a personal assistant. Oliver here is going out of his way to make sure I find one.”

  “Misha could do it,” Lacey volunteered happily. I looked from Lacey back to my plate, back to Lacey.

  “I’m sorry, what are we talking about?”

  “Erik needs a personal assistant. You need a job, so it might just work out.”

  “I’m not qualified to be a personal assistant,” I said slightly offended. “I’m an interior designer.”

  “Didn’t Erik just buy a home? You should totally hire Misha. She’ll make it look amazing,” Lacey kept going and I was beginning to feel embarrassed. Finally, it was becoming clear that I was a matchmaking target. It was like everyone was conspiring to get us together, but I truly didn’t understand why. I was a boring divorcee, not a trophy wife. And isn’t that what Erik and his type liked?

  “I’m sure Erik has someone already.”

  “Actually, I don’t, but I am interested. Maybe you can take a look and give me some ideas.”

  I was taken aback. Wow, just like that? Who needed Internet job boards when you could just network for an opportunity? Maybe matchmaking wasn’t so bad.

  “Maybe you can make it feel like a home. It’s just a blank slate now. It’s gorgeous though. Perfect for me. And most of it has already been renovated.” His eyes lit up as he began to talk about his home. Apparently, he had already put a lot of energy and money into making it his own. But of course, I was assuming he did the work himself and didn’t hire out. If Erik was a friend of Oliver’s then he was probably richer than anyone I’d ever met. Maybe he was even wealthier than Oliver. I paused thinking, was that even possible? Oliver was pretty loaded.

  “I, uhhh...that sounds great.” I couldn’t believe my luck, but then I remembered that the dinner wasn’t about me. “I’d love to hear more. Want to talk about it after dinner?”

  “Sure,” he said. Not only was he gorgeous, but he was also not a jerk. And I was attracted to him. Uh oh.

  Finally, Jude, Lacey’s husband showed up. After a wild night in Vegas, they had married and to everyone’s surprise stayed married.

  I sort of envied their relationship. I had never looked at Wyatt the way Lacey looked at Jude. If I were to be honest, my relationship with Wyatt had always been less than passionate. I understood that a great love affair didn’t define all marriages, but mine definitely never had a spark.

  I had married Wyatt immediately after college. I had met him at a conference while we were both finishing up our sophomore years. It had been a conference for science majors. I had thought I was going to be a chemistry major until I realized it meant studying and there was no way I was going to waste my college years with my nose in a book. But Wyatt had been really into his engineering ideas and had won a prestigious scholarship. He had even submitted his business plan to several competitions and won them all, which gave him seed money to start his own business as soon as we graduated. I had focused on teaching right after college. I regrettably hadn’t majored in anything worthwhile and had instead earned a degree in liberal arts, which qualified me to do absolutely nothing. I had found that out the hard way after college when I couldn’t find a job. It was like my jobless history was repeating itself, except television had propelled me into interior design the first time around.

  Sitting at home one evening while Wyatt was working late, I had found myself watching a home design show and I knew instantly that’s what I wanted to do. I had called the local community college the next day and signed up for classes. The rest, as they say, was history.

  I had started off by taking a few clients here and there, mostly staging jobs, and then as my reputation grew so did my clients. I was earning enough to start my own firm. It had been a great five years and then slowly my business started to fade. I saw Erik’s offer as a lifeline. If I were able to get his business, surely others of his ilk would hire me to do their homes. I was finally seeing a light at the end of the tunnel.

  “So why are we here again?” Erik surprised me by asking.

  I raised a brow. “Aren’t you a friend of the family’s?”

  “Yeah, but I just got back into the country and I can barely keep up with checking my email, let alone remember all the causes and charities my friends support.”

  “You must have a ton of friends.”

  “Not really, I’m kind of a loner.

  “Really? You seem like an extrovert.”

  He shook his head. “I don’t have much confidence in theories about personality types, but I guess if I had to describe myself, I would say that I’m a well-socialized introvert.”

  I smiled. “Well-socialized introvert? Hmm...interesting. Anyway, we’re here to celebrate Ophelia’s Angels going international. Still want to stick around?” I teased.

  He nodded. “Definitely. I can’t believe Ophelia’s Angels is going international. That’s a cause that’s dear to all of us. I’m glad you took the time to be here for Jude and Oliver.” He smiled at me then and gone was the serious demeanor that I had encountered on the front porch of the mansion. His smile seemed to transform him. It made him more attractive, if that was even possible, and it made him seem younger. If I hazarded a guess, I would think he was between mid to late 30s.

  I admonished myself for finding him attractive. Cool it, Misha. You’re just a few months out of a failed marriage. And honestly, the last thing I needed to do was get involved with someone. I was still living with friends, didn’t have a real home to call my own, and was technically unemployed. I felt like a charity case suddenly.

  Jude greeted everyone at the table and then sat down quickly.

  Oliver stood up, picked up a wine glass and everyone else followed. “I’d like to dedicate this toast to my son,” Oliver said with a twinkle in his eye. “I thought he was a womanizing miscreant---”

  “Thanks for that, Dad,” Jude said sarcastically.

  Oliver shot him a glare. “Let me finish, son. You’re so quick to talk, you might try listening for once.”

  I wanted to roll my eyes, but I stopped myself because I didn’t want to be rude. Jude and Oliver were always at each other’s throats. It was almost as if arguing was how they expressed their love.

  “Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” he pointedly narrowed his eyes at Jude who held back a chuckle, “my son surprised me. He made this old man realize that people aren’t always who they seem or who they pretend to be. He showed me that everyone has depth. He taught me that we’re complicated beings, us humans, and we should never judge or assume we know the reality of others. Was he a womanizer and a miscreant?”

  “Yep,” said Lacey, answering the rhetorical question. This time Jude outright laughed.

  “Okay, well yes, he was all those things, but I realized he’s also hardworking, compassionate, entrepreneurial, and a saint for putting up with me all these years without reinforcements,” Oliver finished.

  “Amen to that,” Jude said, making the rest of us chuckle.

  “Well, I know I’m not easy. And I want to thank Jude anyway for putting up with me. And I want to thank him for keeping his mother’s memory alive. Your mother was a wonderful person and you’re following in her footsteps with all the great work you did establishing and growing Ophelia’s Angels in her honor. She would be proud of you, of all the good you’re doing. I’m proud of you. I don’t deserve a son like you. Thanks for putting up with this old fool.”

  Everyone was shocked by Oliver’s sincere words. He was always a blunt person, but he didn’t really talk about his feelings or show much emotion.

  I looked up at Jude, as I swallowed back the lump that had formed in my throat, knowing that my parents would never say the same to me, and watched as Jude wordlessly stood up, crossed around the table and gave his dad a hug. He kissed him on the top of his bald head an
d then said, “Sit down, old man. We’re not here to listen to your excuses for years of inadequacies. That’s for your therapist. Let’s eat.”

  We all chuckled, including Oliver, and began to pass around the food when Lacey started hitting her glass with her fork.

  She smiled widely as if she had a secret to tell and she just couldn’t wait to tell us. “I also have something to say.”

  “Oh god, not you too. Not another heartfelt speech. What happened to my stoic, emotionless family? Who are these aliens that have replaced them?” lamented Jude.

  “Hush you,” Lacey said softly. “While we’re all here, I wanted to make an announcement.” She took a deep breath, looked around at all of us and shook her glass at us. “There’s apple cider in here, not champagne...Who wants to guess why?”

  I frowned, not understanding. “Oh, for goodness sake, don’t tell me you gave up drinking. Now who am I going to go to happy hour with?” I was suddenly feeling cross.

  Lacey smiled furtively. “We can go to happy hour together in about six months...if I can find a nanny!” She said the nanny part in a sing-song voice.

  My eyes widened at the same time as Emmaline’s. “Oh my god! You’re pregnant,” we said simultaneously.

  We both then jumped up and hugged her. The guys got up and congratulated Jude.

  Oliver kept blubbering, “I’m going to be a grandfather. A grandfather. Finally! Miracles do happen!”

  Excited chatter about Lacey’s announcement filled the room. Lacey and Jude kept smiling at each other. It was pretty adorable. And before I knew it, we were all done with our food. I said my goodbyes occupied by the news Lacey just dropped on us.

  Yes, I was happy for her, but I didn’t really share in her excitement. I wasn’t ever the type of woman who dreamt about her domestic future. I never really dreamt about what my wedding would be like or what my apartment after college would look like. I just pretty much lived in the moment and let life take me wherever. Lacey was the opposite. If she could plan her own funeral posthumously, she would.

  As a woman who never wanted kids, or ever fantasized about a family, it was hard for me to relate to the whole excitement over becoming a mom. After all, it’s not like being a mom had ever made my mom happy. The only photo I’d ever seen of her smiling was taken years before I was born. And every photo afterward featured her looking tired and unhappy. Despite this, I never felt my mom didn’t love me, I just felt that she didn’t have the energy or emotional aptitude to show it.

  When I had dated Wyatt, we hadn’t discussed children. It had come as a surprise years later when he’d suggested that we try for a baby, that someone like him would even want kids. He was so uptight, so controlling that I didn’t think someone with his personality would ever contemplate having children. There would just be too many unknowns that a parent couldn’t control. He had been shocked to know that I hadn’t wanted to have any. And I had felt guilty for years for depriving him of a child of his own. But he had assured me that wanting children had just been on his “To-do” list so to speak. A role that he had assumed he would perform, and so he hadn’t pushed the issue. He had been disappointed, yes, but he told me he would get over it, that he was too practical to get emotionally distraught over something that we hadn’t even agreed on.

  And now he was about to be a father. I briefly thought to myself that maybe if I had given him a baby, more of a family life, he would have come home to me instead of his mystery woman. If I hadn’t been tied up with building my business, then losing my business, and if instead I had focused on home and babies, we would still be together. But I knew it was silly to torture myself with what-ifs.

  A baby wouldn’t have saved our relationship. I knew that. A baby would have just meant another innocent person being hurt by our failed marriage.

  I was so deep in thought as I made my way to my car that I didn’t hear the footsteps behind me until the person touched my shoulder.

  I turned around ready to fight and scream when I saw that it was Erik standing there.

  “Woah, don’t punch me. I didn’t mean to startle you. I tried calling out to you, but you didn’t answer.”

  I placed my hand over my heart. “You scared me half way to death, you loser.”

  He laughed. “I’m sorry...did you just call me a loser?”

  I placed my hands on my hips. “Yes. That’s exactly what I called you.”

  “You’re feisty.”

  “So I’ve been told. So, what can I do for you? Why are you running around stalking me in the middle of the night?”

  He laughed. “We were supposed to discuss working together, remember? But if you would rather not take my money...” He let his voice trail off.

  I drew my brows close together, in deep thought, and then I remembered! “Oh my god! I’m an idiot. Hell yeah, I want your money.”

  He laughed, I guess not expecting that response.

  I had been so focused on Lacey’s news that I’d forgotten I was supposed to talk to Erik after dinner. What a disaster. I was a disaster.

  “I mean I would love to discuss with you what your plans are for your house. I’m sure we can come up with something pretty great between the two of us.”

  The second those words left my mouth I wanted to just jump in my car and leave. I couldn’t believe I had just said that. “Come up with something pretty great between the two of us?” What the hell? Was I coming on to him? I mean, I loved sex and was going through a sexual drought, but surely I wasn’t so needy that I was subconsciously interjecting innuendos in my speech.

  “I think that’s a great idea,” he said without any hesitation. I guess he didn’t think I was propositioning him. Good. Because I wasn’t. Maybe. My subconscious really couldn’t be trusted.

  “How about I give you a call tomorrow when we’re both more awake? I’m kind of exhausted and I’m afraid my thoughts aren’t coming out very clearly.”

  “I understand the feeling. Tonight was kind of a lot. I mean, Lacey’s announcement sent me whirling,” he said unexpectedly. “She’s going to be a mom. I understand her excitement.”

  “Really? Are you a parent yourself?”

  He shook his head. “No. But maybe one day…” His voice held a wistfulness as he said that.

  I didn’t know how to respond to his comment, so I smoothly changed the subject to a topic I was more comfortable discussing: business. “Here, let me give you my number.”

  “No need. Oliver already did,” he said. His face was illuminated by the full moon and I tried not to stare at his lips. I think I failed as I watched his full lips pull back into a knowing smile. I forced myself to meet his eyes as he said, “I’ll call you soon, Misha. And Oliver was right, I would have regretted not seeing you tonight.”

  With those cryptic words, he wished me goodnight and strolled to his car. It was a low sports car. The type of car I had always wanted to drive. And he owned one. Lucky bastard.

  “Oliver, you sneaky matchmaker, what have you done?” I said to myself, as I made my way to my practical sedan. I secretly believed that Oliver had been trying to pair Lacey with Jude from the very start and now I felt he might also be meddling in my love affairs. I sighed. What was I going to do about that sneaky, little old man?

  Summer Cooper

  Discover the wild girl in you

  Besides her love of chocolate, dogs and music… reading and writing is Summer’s number one route to escape from crazy friends, family and the in-laws!

  She found her own happily ever after with a martial arts fighter who also happens to be an adorable IT geek! Now, she loves to write about hot alpha males that come with a pretty face and covered in tough-as-nails muscle... who are secretly looking for their true soul mate (shhh…)!

  If you wish to get in touch, please email her at hello@summercooper.com and she’ll get back to you as soon as she can.

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  Summer Cooper, Dirty Cops Next Door