Maximus

by Richard L. Black

  He walked westward of the village into the rolling hills a few minutes away and found a hidden meadow, where he sat down in the shade of a stand of poplar trees. Feeling very alone, he remembered Ezra telling them on the voyage about talking to his God. Jacob had never thought about talking to the gods; they were inanimate to him. He cursed them at times, as all Romans did, but never thought they listened to him. Ezra talked of this Jehovah as if he were a real person, someone who visited and cared for his people, directed them in times of difficulty, and gave them rules to follow. The God of the Jews required a high degree of fealty, but at least this Jehovah seemed to give things in return. Maybe I should try to talk to him? Jacob shook his head. Why would a Jewish god listen to a Roman masquerading as a Jew? The thought produced a sardonic smile. Ezra said Jehovah was the God of all men; he only favored the Jews because they believed and obeyed him rather than idols or other gods manufactured by men. Jacob had also heard that Jesus healed all manner of persons of their various afflictions, even a Gentile or two. The God of the Jews must approve of such blessing and healing, so why can’t I talk to him?

  He stood as Ezra had taught them to do when they prayed and bowed his head. After a few moments he began to speak quietly.

  “Forgive me, God of the Jews, for presuming that you would listen to a Roman—a Gentile. My friend Ezra has recently taught me of you. He says he talks to you a lot. I consider myself unworthy to talk to you, let alone ask something from a god to whom I have not shown allegiance. I have been searching for the true God, and I have faith that you exist. It seems logical that you, in some way I don’t understand, would be a man like me but much advanced. So I will talk to you like a man. I know this will be a one-way conversation, but if you will listen, I will be satisfied.

  “Forgive me for the wrongs I have done. I have killed many men at the bidding of my country. Those actions now seem wrong to me, and I can no longer justify them. I have succumbed to sins common to man, but I have tried to be an honest and fair person. I have looked after my men as if they were brothers. I have made many foolish decisions in my life and want to make them right. I have been blessed with good health. I have been blessed with good parents and many fine things in this world. If they are somehow gifts from you, I give you my sincere thanks. I am undeserving of these blessing on my own account.

  “I have come to this land to investigate a man who is rumored to be your Son. I have seen him and felt his aura, and I believe him to be a good man, not any threat to Judaea or Rome. I have decided that will be my report to the people who sent me. I struggle with the thought that he is your living Son, but I don’t understand all things.

  “I have met a wonderful family who have been good to me. One of them is a wonderful woman, a woman I believe I could be happy with for the rest of my life. But I have been dishonest with them, and I don’t want to hurt or disappoint them. The world we live in has made this all so complicated. I don’t know what to do. I am not strong enough to sort this out on my own. I need some help and . . .”

  Jacob could speak no more. His heart was full, and tears flowed uncontrollably from his eyes. He wept like a small boy. He couldn’t remember the last time he wept so openly. He thought of his good parents and sisters—and wept. He thought of the sadness and ugliness he had seen in battle—and wept. He thought of his brother, Androcles, and the needless and ruthless slaughter of his family—and wept. He thought of Jershon and his family—and wept. He thought of Liora and was totally overcome with emotion. He fell to the ground, burying his face in his hands—and wept. Years of pain and sadness and regret came to the surface.

  Jacob looked to the sky and, through the tears filling his eyes, pleaded, “If you are real, I need to know it.”

  The feeling started at his toes and crept up his entire body. It was if someone were dipping him slowly into a vat of warm oil. The feeling proceeded until it enveloped his entire body in unmistakable warmth, comfort, and well-being. His arms involuntarily folded themselves over his chest as if he were embracing himself.

  He lay there, disbelieving what was happening. Then as quickly as the feeling came, it departed. Left exhausted, he seemed to melt into the ground. His tears were no longer tears of sadness and remorse but tears of joy and light.

  After a time he was able to sit up. Something deep inside him recognized what he had just felt. He would never be able to deny it. He hadn’t received answers to all his questions or specific guidance in the difficult issues he faced, but he received the most important answer of his life: there was a God, he lived, and he cared enough about Lucius Fabius Maximus to communicate with him. That was a knowledge that would help and guide him the rest of his life.

  Jacob knew this wasn’t the last conversation he would have with God. He longed to share his experience with others, but for now he would keep it to himself. The right time would come.

  It took an hour or more before Jacob had the strength to stand and walk back to the house. It was late afternoon and he decided he would go back to the shore and meet the men when they returned from fishing. He arrived about fifteen minutes before he recognized the sails of Jershon’s boat far in the distance. Jacob helped them land, unload, and prepare the craft for the next morning.

  Jershon put his arm on Jacob’s shoulder as they walked back to the house. “Are you all right, my son?” he asked. “You seem . . . pensive.”

  “Yes, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

  “You look tired. Did you not sleep on the beach all day? We saw you lie down as we were sailing away.” He laughed and patted Jacob on the back.

  “I probably should have slept here all day,” Jacob responded.

  They walked in silence down the road to the house. Jershon and Jacob lagged behind Seth, David, and Levi, who had grown quite close. “I would like to talk to you privately, my son,” Jershon said solemnly to Jacob.

  Jacob looked at Jershon’s weathered face; it glowed with the redness of being in the sun all day. His deep-set eyes were kind but seemed to look right through him. Jacob knew he could not deceive this good man and his family any longer and immediately came to a decision. “It will have to be tonight. Levi and I are leaving tomorrow,” Jacob replied abruptly.

  Jershon stopped walking and stared, shocked, at Jacob. “You’re leaving? Where are you going?”

  “We have heard that Jesus will be leaving Capernaum tomorrow, and we must follow him. We appreciate your generosity and hospitality, but it is time for us to take our leave.” Jacob continued to walk, and Jershon took brisk steps to catch up.

  “This is a surprise. I am certain my family will not take this news well. In a short time we have become accustomed to your company. You really have been a tremendous help to us. Surely Jesus will travel for a couple of days and return. You will certainly return with him, won’t you?” Jershon was almost pleading.

  “I’m not sure. Wherever he goes, we will follow him, and then we will go on to Jerusalem,” Jacob said flatly.

  “Whatever for?” Jershon asked.

  “We have business there,” Jacob said almost curtly.

  Jershon knew he was not going to get a satisfactory explanation. He sighed and resigned himself to the unsettling news. Naomi would be devastated. He would have to think of a solution quickly.

  As they entered the house, Jershon greeted his wife. Then he raised his hand. “I have something to announce.” He waited for all to gather in the small room. “Jacob informs me that he and Levi are leaving in the morning. We will enjoy our meal with them tonight and then say our good-byes.”

  A dead silence fell over the room. Levi looked curiously at Jacob, who looked away. Liora bolted from the room with Sariah on her heels. Naomi put her hand to her mouth, then turned to escape to the kitchen.

  Seth broke the silence. “You can’t leave, Levi. We were just getting used to fishing with four of us in the boat. I like coming home early every day. Since you’ve been helping us, the work has been much easier.”

  “I
wasn’t aware we were leaving so soon,” Levi answered, looking hard at Jacob, who still would not look at him.

  David spoke up. “I was hoping we could plan that trip to Magdala we talked about. I’d like to fire up the forge and have you show me some of the techniques you told me about. Will you be returning soon?”

  “I’m not sure, David,” Levi said. “Jacob and I haven’t talked about our immediate plans.” He shot Jacob a look and put a hard grip on his shoulder. “Why don’t we go outside and clean up?” He almost forced Jacob out of the door. They walked a short distance before Levi spoke. “So what’s the hurry, my brother? What happened while I was away? And don’t we discuss our plans?” Levi was obviously irritated.

  Jacob did not answer immediately. Then he looked Levi directly in the eye. “It’s time to get back to the campaign, my brother. We are wasting time here. Our task is to investigate Jesus, make a report to Pontius Pilate, and then return home—not come here to Capernaum, live with a family, and fish. We have lost focus, Androcles.” Jacob was emphatic.

  “I’m Androcles now?” Levi responded.

  “You have always been Androcles, and I am Maximus. Jacob and Levi are names we hide behind. They are as temporary as these wretched beards!” He pulled at his for effect. “It’s time to remember who we really are and what we are here for and act accordingly.”

  Levi looked at his friend sternly. “So it’s hit you that you love that girl.”

  “What girl?” Jacob snapped.

  “What girl, indeed. Liora, you fool. You two haven’t hidden your interest in each other from anyone. We laughed about it in the boat today, wondering when you would wise up and admit it. So something has finally made you admit it, and you want to run, don’t you?”

  Jacob looked at Levi and, without warning, shoved him forcefully away. Levi caught his balance and approached Jacob closer. “That’s it, isn’t it?” he shouted.

  “I’m not running. I’m getting back to my duty, a duty I should never have left. We are not here to find wives, my brother!” Jacob retorted angrily.

  “But you’ve found one, haven’t you? And she far surpasses any woman you have met in Rome,” Levi challenged. Jacob didn’t respond and turned to sit on a nearby outcropping of rock. “We haven’t forgotten our duty, Jacob,” Levi argued. “The Nazarene is holed up like a hunted fox. Did you just want to sit on a log and wait for him to make a move?”

  “That’s what we do in battle, brother,” Jacob blurted. “When the foe is entrenched, you wait them out if you can. You don’t go into their village, make friends with their women, and go fishing with their men,” Jacob said with disdain.

  “What’s wrong with you, my brother?” Levi looked at Jacob with a puzzled expression. “Why are you so angry? Did Liora reject you?”

  “No, she didn’t reject me, and nothing is wrong. It’s time to be soldiers again. We are not part of this! We are not Jewish fishermen or blacksmiths. We are not part of this family. We are not two Jewish men hoping to be betrothed,” Jacob hissed sarcastically. He held out his hands, pleading with his friend.

  Levi sat down and let the air clear for a minute. He reasoned, “Why aren’t we allowed to enjoy ourselves for a short time before resuming our mission? We’ve earned it. These people have taken us in because of their gratitude for saving their son and brother. We didn’t seek them out. We have earned our keep—at least I have.” He smiled and hit Jacob on the shoulder. “You’ve stayed home with the women. You’re the one who’s getting soft. Not me.”

  “Maybe we have earned it, but it’s not right. If we stay another week or month, it won’t be easier to leave.” Jacob’s voice was softer, but his mind was made up.

  “You really are smitten, aren’t you?” Levi teased.

  Jacob looked Levi in the eye and in a serious tone said, “Yes, but nothing can become of it—nothing! Jershon said just a moment ago he wants to talk to me alone. Do you know what that’s about? I will tell you—he wants you to marry his daughter and me to marry Liora. Naomi has already put a scheme in his ears that he is itching to execute.” Jacob shook his head in exasperation. “That can’t happen, Androcles—it won’t happen!” He turned to look out over the sea and sighed heavily.

  “Why can’t it?” Levi asked.

  Jacob turned, dumbfounded. “Have you lost your mind?”

  “No, I haven’t. In fact, I think I’ve finally found my mind, Jacob. I’m very fond of Sariah; she is a beautiful woman. I would much rather spend my future lying next to her in a soft bed at night in Capernaum than on the ground in some godforsaken country next to you and the cold steel of my sword.” Levi picked up a rock and flung it disdainfully down the hill in front of them.

  Jacob’s jaw dropped. “You haven’t even noticed Sariah!”

  “I have noticed, and we have talked,” Levi answered.

  “Talked? How? When?” Jacob asked.

  “In the early morning. She was up early to prepare the food for us to take in the boat even before I awoke. You have been sleeping like a baby; you wouldn’t know. We have talked about a lot of things,” he said, smiling.

  Jacob turned away, shaking his head in disbelief. “You have made this even more difficult. We can’t deceive these people any longer, Androcles! We are already living a lie, and we are only going to hurt them further.” He wiped the sweat from his brow with the sleeve of his robe. “Why the Jews wear these hot wool robes I will never understand!” Jacob fidgeted in the robe and pulled the hem up over his knees to get fresh air on his legs.

  “So why don’t we just tell them the truth? Seth keeps asking me where I got all my wounds and scars. David thinks I’m a pretty careless blacksmith because of them.” Levi laughed.

  “Except none of your scars are burns,” Jacob added. Levi looked at his friend curiously. “Liora and I had a talk today. She asked the same thing. Apparently our scars have been a topic of discussion. Liora said David noticed your lack of burns. I told her you were taught well and were very careful.” He looked at Levi, and they both laughed.

  “So what do we have to lose in telling them the truth?” Levi asked. “These are good people. They have taken us in, and I believe they have already accepted us for who we are.”

  “For whom they think we are.” Jacob pondered Levi’s hypothesis. “It’s too dangerous, my brother. If one word got out about us, it would compromise our mission and put their family at risk.”

  “Exactly the reason we are safe, Jacob,” Levi said enthusiastically. “They have all the reason in the world to keep the secret. They are already risking serious trouble from the leaders of the Jews by admitting they are followers of this Jesus. They wouldn’t want to further admit they are harboring a Roman general and his deputy commander,” Levi reasoned.

  “That is precisely why we have to go, Androcles. Our presence in their home puts them at risk. Their culture may ostracize them anyway for their belief in Jesus, but that’s a choice they have made. For them to appear to befriend the Roman conquerors is another issue. If your feelings toward Sariah are what you say they are, my brother, you will see there is no other choice for us. We have to go.” Jacob looked down at his feet, not liking what he was hearing himself say—and wishing they had never got into this situation in the first place.

  Levi knew Jacob was right but was unwilling to admit it. He was enjoying his time in Capernaum. This was the closest he had ever come to recreating a family. Seth and David had become like brothers in just a few short days. They were hard workers, and he enjoyed their company. Jershon was wise and demanded the best of his sons; he reminded Levi of his own father. He had not thought about his parents or brothers for a long time. It was uncomfortable for those memories to suddenly be thrust forward. He stood up and looked out toward the Sea of Galilee, inhaling deeply through his clenched teeth to regain his composure. After a few moments he turned back toward Jacob and stood. “Then let’s leave now.”

  Jacob looked at Levi walking away and was confused by his sudden cha
nge of heart. “Androcles, wait!” he shouted after him. Levi stopped but did not turn around. Jacob caught up with him. “I think it would be rude to leave tonight. We must get back into our roles as Jacob and Levi, eat dinner with them, and bid them good-bye, as Jershon said. Then we will be free to leave early in the morning.” Levi did not respond.

  They walked silently back to the house. The women were busy in the kitchen preparing food. Jershon was reading from some yellowed scrolls. A noticeable melancholy permeated the house. The meal was served quickly, without conversation, and Jacob saw that Liora’s eyes were red and swollen. His heart ached. Naomi retained her good humor, but it was obvious she was a bit distressed. Jershon ate in silence, which bothered Jacob the most. Jacob felt he had lost Jershon’s respect with his hasty announcement. He tried to console himself with the fact that it was all for the best. Jershon would never let his daughter or niece marry a Roman, a Gentile. It went too much against their deep-seated beliefs. Jacob knew they would be doing the right thing in leaving, but he wanted Jershon to know it too. Jacob wrestled with the idea that he should have declined their invitation to a meal and a night’s stay. The snub wouldn’t have hurt them as deeply as Jacob suspected they were hurt now.

  Naomi went to great efforts to make a superb meal, but to Jacob the food was tasteless. He ate out of politeness, not from hunger. Liora, who had sat next to Jacob during the meals, was on the other side of the small table, between David and Naomi. Jacob dared not look at her, but he figured she wouldn’t make eye contact with him anyway.

  When the meal was almost finished, Jershon spoke. “It has been quite a somber meal. We are all saddened by your sudden departure. We hope we haven’t done something to offend you.” Jershon motioned toward Jacob and Levi, then picked up his wine and took a sip.

  “No, no, of course not. You all have been more than kind,” Jacob responded. “We just need to finish the business we came for.” He was immediately sorry for his choice of words.