by K. L. Kreig
“This had better be good, brother,” I growl, still trying to catch my breath, except as soon as Gray starts talking I feel like a horse’s ass.
“Livia’s at the hospital in labor.”
“What?” I lift Addy off of me, wrap my arm around her waist, and start ushering her toward the bathroom. By the panic in my voice, she knows something’s wrong, so I have to keep shoving her forward when her steps falter. “She’s not due for another five weeks.”
“I know.”
“Can they stop it?”
“I don’t know. One of the babies is in a bit of distress so they want to watch her for a while. They could have to perform a C-section any minute. I thought maybe you and Addy would want to know. Maybe come down?”
Gray sounds anxious and very nervous. Fuck, I’m nervous and they aren’t even my kids. “Shit, yeah. Of course, we’ll be there. Rush University, right?”
“Yeah.”
I turn the shower on, letting it warm. “We’ll be there as soon as we can. Hour tops.”
“Okay. Try to hurry. Oh, and can you call Addy? I tried and didn’t get her either.”
“She’s with me. We’ll hurry.”
As soon as I hang up, Addy’s peppering me with questions faster than an AK-47.
“Livia’s in labor? Was that Gray? What did he say? Is she okay? Are the babies okay? Are Asher, Alyse, and Conn there with her? Did someone call your mom? She’s going to be so upset she’s not here for the bir—”
Dragging her into the heat and steam, I push her against the shower wall, palm her cheeks, and press my mouth to hers. “Addy. For fuck’s sake. Take a breath.”
“Sorry,” she mumbles against me.
“Livia’s in labor and they’re trying to stop it, but one of the babies is in distress. They may have to perform a C-section, so we need to hurry. I’ll call my mom on the way to make sure she knows. I assume my brothers also know, but I’ll call them too. Did I forget anything?”
“No,” she whispers. “It’s too early.”
“Everything will be fine, fireball. Okay?” I tell her soothingly. I don’t know if it will be or not, but I see the fear in her eyes. I’m her rock and I want her to lean on me. Know she can count on me.
She nods. “I love you.”
“I love you too, baby.” I kiss her nose and we wash quickly. Ten minutes later we’re out the door and halfway down the stairs when she comes to a screeching halt. “Shit! Landyn.”
“Fuck.” We stand there for a few seconds looking at each other while I try to work the problem. “Leave a key with Madge and text Landyn. Tell her we’ll be back as soon as we can. I don’t want to leave the hospital until I know everything is okay.”
“Me neither. Landyn’s a big girl. She’ll be fine.”
It takes five minutes for Addy to show several pictures of Landyn to Madge and convince her it’s okay to let Addy’s niece in without us there. Forty minutes later we’re finally at the hospital.
When we get off on the fifth floor, I immediately spot Asher and Conn loitering in the hallway about three-fourths the way down.
“What’s going on?” I ask looking around for Gray or Alyse when we reach them.
“The doctor is checking on her now.” Ash nods to the closed door behind me.
A few minutes later a tall female in a long white coat and blue scrubs emerges, followed by a couple of nurses and Alyse.
“What did she say?” Addy asks Alyse anxiously, clinging to my hand.
“She’s going to come back in another hour. The contractions have slowed, but one of the babies has a slightly elevated heartbeat. They’ll decide what to do then.”
“Can we see her?” Addy asks.
“I don’t see why not.”
We all file into the private room and I’m shocked by how large it actually is. It even has a couch and a coffee table on the far end, like they’re just inviting spectators to pull up a seat and have a look-see. It’s bizarre and makes me very uncomfortable.
Livia’s sitting up in the hospital bed, all decked out in one of their pukey green gowns, her hair pulled back into a tight ponytail. Addy runs over and hugs her and everyone chatters at once. I’m able to gather they’ve been using some medication to try stopping the contractions It’s not completely working. Another week or two baking would be ideal for twins, but the doctor says their lungs and hearts are all fully developed at this stage. If born now, they may spend a few days in the intensive care or they may be released to go home in a couple of days. Just all depends.
An hour turns into two and then into three and then finally into four before they decide they’re going to take the babies today. Twice they thought they had things under control, but contractions started again. The good news is the delay allowed my mom to get here in time. And just as soon as I pick my jaw up off the floor that Addy’s dad, Bob, is accompanying her, I’ll be able to ask her what the hell that’s all about.
At ten-thirty-three, baby boy one Colloway comes into the world weighing five pounds, eleven ounces and at ten-thirty-eight, baby boy two Colloway takes his first breath. At only four pounds, fourteen ounces, he’s the runt of the two, just like I was. Gray and Livia have been very tight-lipped about the names they’ve picked out and it turns out we won’t be finding out tonight because baby boy two has some issues breathing and baby boy one’s heart rate is still elevated. Both are whisked off to the neonatal intensive care unit, or what they call NICU for short, and it’s utter fucking chaos around here.
Finally, at midnight, Livia is back in her room, looking distraught and exhausted and Gray is down with the babies, checking on their status. My mom’s sitting with Livia who is in tears. I don’t know where Livia’s mom is, if she’s coming, and I’m not asking.
“They’re strong, Livia. They’ll be just fine,” I tell her, pulling up a chair as I take her hand.
“I know. I’m just…I want to hold them,” she sniffs. I hand her a tissue and she blows her nose.
“You will, dear,” says my mom. “Just as soon as the doctors say it’s okay. I remember when Luke here was born. He had to be on a feeding tube for a week. I was beside myself.” I’ve heard this story a million times. A. Million. Maybe that’s the reason I’m such a stickler about what I eat and why I have a love for cooking. I had to fight for my sustenance so early in life. I’ve had to fight for a lot of things in my life.
I look over at Addy sitting on the couch; she’s lying down with her eyes closed and now I know why it’s in here. Christ, birthing babies is a loooong-ass process. You’d think with modern medicine these days, they’d be able to come up with a quicker way to get them out.
The herd is thinning as everyone is exhausted. Asher forced Alyse to leave just a few minutes ago and Conn’s out talking to the night nurse, waiting to take my mom and Bob back to his place. I’m about ready to do the same with Addy when Gray returns with a nurse in tow.
“Can I see them now?” Livia chokes on a sob. She tries to move, but winces at the pain from the stitches in her abdomen.
“Yes, angel. Let the nurse help you into a wheelchair and I’ll take you to them.”
And that’s my cue.
I gather Addy, say good-bye to my family, and tell Gray, “Call me if anything changes, okay?”
“Will do,” he rasps. He’s beat, poor fucker. And he’ll probably look this way for the next eighteen years. I may have to rethink this four kids idea and unless we have twins, I’m not sure I’ll even be able to talk Addy into four kids now after what we’ve just witnessed. It’s a damn wonder women have more than one kid, in all honesty. I have just that much more respect for my mother.
“Congratulations, Gray.” I pull him in for a hug. “You did good, Dad.”
“Thanks. I feel like today’s been a blur.”
“I think that’s what the next twenty years will probably feel like.”
He chuckles and stifles a yawn. “I think you’re right.”
“I’ll talk to you tomorrow.
”
“Okay. Ready, angel?” he asks, turning his attention to Livia who’s now comfortably positioned, ready to go.
“I think I’m going to fly into a rage if I don’t get to see my babies within the next five minutes.”
Gray kneels down in front of his wife, taking her hands in his. “They’re perfect, Livvy. Absolutely, stunningly perfect.”
She nods, water spilling down her cheeks in rivers.
I’m not sure I’ve witnessed a more poignant moment in my entire life and swallow the lump that’s now formed in my throat.
Right now, I feel like a blessed man. I’m with the woman I love, witnessing new lives born to two people who mean more to me than almost anyone, with my family surrounding us.
Too bad shit’s about to blow up in my face, throwing the perfect little world I’ve built into a fucking maelstrom of chaos and confusion, forcing me to meet my demons head-on or lose everything I hold dear forever.
I wish I could tell you I didn’t fuck it up, but I can’t.
I’m a man.
We fuck everything up at least once.
Chapter 39
Holy mother of all things unholy. That’s what it’s like to have a baby? And Luke wants eight? Screw that. Screw four. I’m not even sure I’ll have one after what I just saw Livia and Gray go through. My emotions are completely wrung out, my body exhausted, and my heart feels like it’s been sent through a shredder. And I didn’t even give birth.
“You okay over there, fireball?”
“Peachy keen,” I reply tightly, watching the lights blur as we fly past them.
He chuckles lightly. Grabbing my hand, his lips brush over my knuckles and my core spasms. I’m not sure if it’s in lust or fear now.
“Did that scare you?”
My eyes find his, even in the dark. “Did it scare you?”
“Fuck yes. I’m terrified.”
For some reason, that makes me feel better and I laugh.
“But not enough I guess. I still want kids with you, Addy. Loads of them.”
My laugh turns into a cough because I now just swallowed spit down the wrong side when I sucked in a breath. We haven’t talked about marriage, kids, or the future for over a month now. I’m not sure if that upsets me or relieves me. I think a little of both, actually.
“We aren’t even married.”
“I can fix that.”
My heart’s racing “Luke—”
“Hush, baby. When I ask, you’ll know it. But I am going to ask. Sooner rather than later, so start practicing.”
“Practicing what?” I ask, genuinely confused. Saying Mrs. Addy Colloway? Wow. I really like the sound of that. A lot.
“Saying yes, of course. That’s not usually the first word out of your mouth when I ask you something.”
My mouth hangs open for a second before I screech, “Oh my God! Seriously?”
“Damn that hurt,” he says while laughing. His laugh is loud and boisterous and so contagious I can’t help but join in. “God, I love you, fireball. So damn much.”
My irritation melts. “I love you, too. When you’re not pissing me off,” I add. He smiles, knowing I’m teasing.
I lean my head back and just stare at the love of my life, trying to process these past few months, which seem like a whirlwind. I love him intensely and thoroughly, of that there’s no doubt. I want to marry him and have a family (surrogacy is always an option, right?). I want to be part of his family, which I already love like my own.
Everyone thinks this in the beginning of a new relationship, a brand-new love, but I’m not sure there’s anything that could happen that would possibly change the way I feel about this man. He’s my someone.
Ten minutes later Luke and I are walking into my apartment when my steps waver. Landyn’s sitting on the couch watching TV, as I expected. What I didn’t expect was to see my sister, Sam, sitting right beside her. My gaze finds Landyn’s and hers is chalked full of apology.
Fuck. A warning would have been nice. There’s only one reason Sam is here and it’s to guilt me into seeing my ill mother.
It’s been two years since I’ve seen my sister and she hasn’t changed a bit. Hasn’t aged a bit. She looks like she did ten years ago. Hardly a wrinkle on her beautiful face, making her appear much younger than her forty-four years.
“Addy,” she says, jumping up from the couch. “It’s so good to see you.”
“You too,” I lie when she throws her arms around me.
“Who’s your friend here?” she purrs. I want to scratch her eyes out for running them over my boyfriend, but I sheath my claws. For some reason my filter’s wide open around everyone else; when it comes to my family it gets plugged up and not a single word of truth I want to speak will siphon through no matter how hard I try. I hate it.
When I turn around to introduce Sam to Luke, I freeze at the pure malice I see in his eyes. He’s staring at Sam like he would literally take her head if he held a sword in his hand. His furious, fiery eyes are bouncing back and forth between my sister and my niece. I’ve never seen this look on him before and I know I never want to again because he looks downright lethal. My mind is a jumble trying to figure out what would cause him to act like this. Nothing makes sense.
“Luke, what’s wrong?” I whisper, laying a hand on his arm.
He shakes it off like a hot coal and I stand there stunned when he cruelly spits in my direction, “Is this some sort of fucking joke?”
My gaze flits between Sam, who looks shocked, and Landyn, who is now standing just a few feet away clearly scared, and Luke, who is vibrating with anger. You’d have to be dumber than a box of rocks not to feel the hatred emanating from him right now and both Sam and Landyn take a step backward.
“What are you talking about?”
“I mean, what the fuck is she doing here?” What is she doing here? She? Sam? Why is he having such a violent reaction to the fact that my sister is here? I mean, I know it was a surprise to me, and Luke knows how I feel about my sister, but there is clearly something more going on here I am just not getting.
“I didn’t know she was coming. I’m sorry. This is my sister, Sam.”
“Jesus fucking Christ. This is your sister? Landyn’s mother?”
“Yes,” I mumble slowly, almost incomprehensibly. I watch his eyes land on Landyn now and see a plethora of emotions flash in quick succession.
Anger.
Shock.
Confusion.
Guilt.
Regret.
Sorrow.
He looks back to Sam, his eyes hardening to black slate. Then he turns and leaves. Walks out of the apartment without a word, leaving the three of us standing there looking at the closed door that he shut with a whisper, which is in such contradiction to the intense hatred I witnessed only a moment ago.
“What the hell was that?” Landyn breathes.
“I have no idea,” I reply softly in utter confusion, a sick feeling forming in the pit of my stomach.
I have no fucking idea.
Chapter 40
My lids crack open, my mind slowly churning to remember where the fuck I am and why my head feels like it’s been split open with a sledgehammer. When I finally crawl through the thick sludge, the memory slams back into me with more force than my bike when I open her up, causing me to lose my breath and pray for oblivion once again. I hold my head in agony, wishing I was still passed out so I could forget how completely fucked this situation is.
My love’s sister is my father’s mistress. My woman’s niece is my half sister.
How the fuck am I supposed to deal with this revelation? How am I supposed to spend the rest of my life with Addy knowing that her own flesh and blood screwed my family, literally and figuratively? Fucked me up to be the damaged man I am today? How am I supposed to cross paths with Landyn in the future and act like everything is peaches and fucking cream when it’s not? How do I tell Addy her sister is a black widow who preys on innocent families, destroying t
hem from the inside out? How am I supposed to keep the truth hidden from her and everyone else around us when I feel like it’s written on my face in permanent black marker?
What am I supposed to do with this pile of stinking shit?
I don’t have the answers. None. To any of the million questions swirling around me, which is why I’m still holed up in this hotel room trying to drink myself to death and forget.
How could the universe be so cruel as to take the one thing that nearly destroyed me and set it right in front me again like some sick taunt when my life is finally right for the first time in fourteen years? It’s one thing to know she’s out there, but to come face-to-face with her is entirely different. To have her related to my Addy is just plain evil. Addy has almost single-handedly locked my darkness down. Now, the door is standing wide open and every demon I possess has been let loose to endlessly torment and haunt me.
You’re happy now, Luke? Well, fuck you, we’ll fix that right up.
You’re at peace now, Luke? Stupid prick. There is no peace for you.
You’ve finally found that one person who soothes your soul? Surprise! She’s your half sister’s aunt. This one-two punch has literally knocked me on my ass and I can’t find any purchase to stand up again.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I want to slip back into the darkness, and hopefully next time I wake this will all be just a horrific nightmare and Addy and I can laugh about it while we’re lounging in bed on a leisurely Sunday afternoon.
I can’t deal with this now any more than I could the last time I woke. I intend to fall again into oblivion, but first, I need to relieve myself before I piss the bed. After a few attempts to stand, I manage to make it to the bathroom. I finish my business and brush my teeth with the toothbrush the hotel gave me and turn on the shower because I stink like I haven’t showered in days. Hell, maybe it has been days. Weeks. I don’t know.
How long have I been here? I honestly don’t remember and right now I can’t make myself care enough to figure it out. All I care about is making sure I have enough liquor to put myself down again.