Undesired Lust

by Eden Summers

  “Sean?” she called, raising her hand to shield her eyes from the sun. She began striding forward, her gorgeous lips widening the closer she came.

  When she reached the back step, Mason had to clench his fists to fight back envy. Why the hell didn’t she look at him like that? Sean had fucked her too. His friend hadn’t protested to the video. Yet Mason was spawned from the devil, and little drummer boy had a chocolate-coated dick.

  “What are you doing here?”

  Every excited word leaving her sultry mouth cranked Mason’s frustrations. He wanted her excitement. He wanted to be the cause of her smile, to rewind the fucking clock and see her admiration staring back at him.

  “I came to see you, pretty lady.”

  Her cheeks darkened, and she lowered her gaze as she rushed inside. “I appreciate it.”

  Sean closed the door and pulled her in for a hug. They embraced for ten seconds. Ten fucking long seconds which made Mason turn and storm to the kitchen. He couldn’t watch this Bold and Beautiful shit. Not without coffee…or alcohol…or drugs.

  “So, why aren’t the two of you working on the album?” Sean asked.

  Mason rolled his eyes and rested against the counter to face them, his arms crossed over his chest, waiting for her smart ass reply.

  “Ask your friend.” Sidney pinned him with a defiant stare. “Apparently, he doesn’t work weekends.”

  Sean swung his gaze to Mason, shaking his head. “You’re fucking kidding me.”

  “Nope. I’m stuck here for two days, doing nothing.”

  Sean scoffed. “Well, if you aren’t working, why don’t you let me take you out to lunch?”

  She paused, her lips slightly parting as she glanced between them. “I…umm.”

  Was she reluctant to leave Mason’s sorry ass alone? He grinned to himself, unwilling to place a bet on the likelihood, but eager to hear her reasoning. All he needed was a weakness. If she still held concern for him, then getting off her shit list may not be as challenging as he thought.

  “If you don’t want to go out, I can pick up a few sandwiches and make a picnic in Mason’s back yard.”

  Make yourself at home, asshole.

  Sidney relaxed, releasing a deep breath. “Yes. That would be great.”

  Fuck it. So her reluctance was going out in public, not leaving him behind. Yet another jab to his ego landed firmly against his ribs.

  “I’m still not fond of crowds,” she murmured. “There’s nothing quite like the feeling of being called a whore by a complete stranger to make a gal wary of her own shadow.”

  Mason swallowed hard, her admission grabbing him by the balls. Social media was a bitch on any given day, and when you were involved in a scandal publicized the world over, it was unrelenting. Unforgiving. Sidney had been shamed from every social dynamic, and there had been nothing he could do about it except lay low and wait for it to blow over.

  “I understand.” Sean grabbed hold of her hand, comforting her with the reassurance that should’ve come from Mason. “I’m sure we can rustle up a picnic blanket.”

  “Great. But if it’s all right with you, can I stay here while you pick up the food? I want to get changed.”

  Sean released his hold, a grin tilting his lips. “You already look perfect.”

  “I need a knife,” Mason muttered, and turned his back to rummage through the drawers. He’d start with his own eyes, gouging those fuckers out before he did the same to his ears. Wait. No. He’d start with his ears, because he could squeeze his eyes shut in the interim.

  “So smooth, Sean,” Sidney drawled.

  Mason palmed a shiny silver butter knife, imagining the relief that would come without the ability to hear. They chuckled together, like sickening love birds high on E. It was ridiculous. Frustrating. He needed a sharper knife.

  “Maybe Sean could teach you a thing or two about manners, Mason.”

  Maybe I could shut your pretty little mouth by smashing my lips against yours.

  He smirked, imagining the way she’d gasp if he stole a kiss. “Run along, wildcat.” He threw the knife back in the drawer and then slammed it shut. “I’ll see you later.”

  Unable to stand another moment of their flirting, he strode from the room. His fists were balled, his chest pounding with frustration as he stomped for the far end of his house. The plan to win Sidney over was dwindling with every smooth word out of Sean’s mouth. On the other hand, for the first time in a damn long time, the only place he wanted to be was in his studio.

  “SO, HOW ARE you?”

  Sidney settled herself on the picnic blanket and took a deep breath before answering. “I’m OK.” Her smile wavered as she met Sean’s gaze. Her answer couldn’t be further from the truth, but she was sick of being lost in her own life. For once, she wanted to pretend she wasn’t broken. To go back to the time when they were close friends, enjoying each other’s company.

  Sean had tried his hardest to comfort her after the scandal. He’d called. Emailed. Even sent her gifts in the mail. The connection had been a lifeline, until Justin sat her down and made her realize how unhealthy the communication was. Unintentionally, she’d been using Sean to find out information about Mason. Their conversations had always revolved around him, and picking herself back up every time she learned he still hadn’t grown remorseful had been a constant battle. So, she’d asked Sean to stop contacting her. And like the gentleman he was, he’d obliged.

  She was glad to see he hadn’t changed since they last caught up. Not in looks, anyway. He still had a rough exterior, with the constant five o’clock shadow she found totally endearing. His hair was short, in a buzz cut, with his blue eyes shining bright amongst all the highly masculine features. There were maybe one or two extra laugh lines around his eyes now, not that he smiled that often, but he was still the definition of a wolf in sheep’s clothing.

  He opened the paper bag full of sandwiches and held it toward her. “I have to say, I’m surprised to see you willing to work with Mason again.”

  “Not as surprised as I am.”

  She reached into the bag and pulled out the first plastic covered meal her fingers brushed. She concentrated on unwrapping the ham salad, then took a bite, hoping a mouth full of food would be a great excuse not to continue a conversation revolving around her enemy.

  For a while, they sat in silence, less than a foot apart, staring blankly at the back of the house from the far side of Mason’s pool. Each passing moment made self-loathing flood her system. She needed to get away from him, from the chemical reaction playing havoc with her emotions. There was no other explanation for the pull she felt toward him. He was cloying her thoughts, taking over her control. She couldn’t allow it to continue. Somehow, she needed to regain the upper hand before coming face to face with those deep brown eyes again.

  “You still have feelings for him.”

  She choked on the bread in her mouth, coughing and spluttering until Sean handed her a bottle of soda to gulp. “Excuse me?” She took another sip, soothing the sting marring the back of her throat and buying herself some extra time. “Where did that come from?”

  “Don’t get defensive.” Sean bit into his sandwich, his focus on Shadow and Willow, who stared back at him from the edge of the blanket. “It wasn’t long ago the two of you were close. I thought maybe you still felt something for him.”

  “No.” She shook her head with vehemence. “Not at all.” And she would continue to tell herself that. Mason was an asshole. No, Mason was The Asshole. The biggest asshole on the face of the planet.

  The side of Sean’s lips tilted in a smirk, yet the playfulness didn’t reach his eyes. “I think you might be protesting a little too much.”

  Ignoring him, she ripped the remainder of her sandwich in half and threw it at the dogs, no longer able to stomach food. She couldn’t explain the way Mason tore her in a million different directions. She didn’t understand it herself.

  “Then what about me?” he murmured, his gaze softeni
ng. “If you aren’t interested in Mace, would you consider going on a date with me?”

  Her lips parted as her heart lodged in her throat. The heat in his eyes left her blindsided, unsure how to answer. Sean was gorgeous, both inside and out. He was talented, smart, charming, and had easily brought her to the point of breathlessness once, but he wasn’t what she wanted. He wasn’t what her heart desired. Nor what her libido craved.

  Hell.

  Fuck!

  He wasn’t Mason.

  She broke eye contact and winced. This was unfair. After everything she’d endured, her heart still wouldn’t move forward without answers. So much of her life had halted because of Mason’s betrayal.

  Her trust was non-existent, except when it came to Justin. Her assistant had proven himself time and time again. Around any other man, she was too cautious to enjoy their interest. Now, she couldn’t date for the fear of being played. Not to mention, most guys were only interested in bedding the woman who was spit-roasted by two famous musicians.

  If she could just make Mason open up and explain why he’d betrayed her. Had all his words of adoration been a lie? Had the strong connection they’d forged been fake? She couldn’t understand how she didn’t notice. She needed answers. Closure. A clarity she wouldn’t achieve if he continued to be a jackass.

  “Sean…” she whispered his name, meeting his gaze. She didn’t want to hurt him.

  “It’s OK, sweetheart. I just hope the offer made you realize what you’ve probably been trying to deny since you got here.”

  “No, it’s not that…” She cringed, hating herself for the attraction she still held for a man who destroyed her life.

  “He’s a great guy. He just likes to do things bigger and better than everyone else. Mistakes included.” He placed an arm around her shoulder and dragged her into his side, his soft touch making her guilt increase. “He acts oblivious to the havoc he’s caused, but I assure you, Mason realizes what he’s done. He’s just too stubborn to apologize.”

  “He still hasn’t said sorry to you?” She relaxed into him, ignoring the familiar scent and the memories that came along with it.

  “Nah.” His shoulder shrugged against her. “He never will.”

  Mason had always been larger than life. Bigger ideas. Crazier suggestions. She shouldn’t be surprised he’d be too proud to make amends for his mistakes. Much less, the monumental regret she craved to satisfy his betrayal.

  “He’s changed, you know.” He squeezed her tighter to his side. “We used to be tight, and for the most part, we still are. Things are just different now. He doesn’t share much, and he’s bitter too. I don’t know why.”

  “What does he have to be bitter about?” She glared at the house and hoped Mason could sense her anger. “You know, he never had the balls to talk to me after it happened. I called him so many times, and not once did he answer or acknowledge my messages.”

  Sidney closed her eyes and concentrated on letting go of the building anger. There was no point getting worked up. It wouldn’t change the past. And from Mason’s current attitude, it wouldn’t change the future either. “I struggled to come to terms with what happened because I couldn’t believe he would do something like that. I not only had to deal with the humiliation and the public backlash, I also had to come to terms with losing a friend…well, losing someone I thought was a friend.”

  “He was a friend, Sid. He just made a huge mistake.”

  “If you make a mistake, you apologize. Or make amends.” Her voice rose. “How could he justify sharing our video for the sake of extra publicity for a damn song? Did he think I wouldn’t care? I know it’s different for guys. Leaked sex tapes are probably an achievement akin to having a mile-high orgy. For women, I assure you, it isn’t favorable.”

  “I don’t know what he thought. We never spoke about it. I told you a long time ago how things went down between us. It wasn’t pretty. Every time the subject came up, Mason would lose it. He wouldn’t answer questions…well, none without giving a sarcastic or derisive answer. So, as a band, we all moved on. We had to. Otherwise, we never would’ve made it through.”

  She didn’t understand Sean’s ability to forgive and forget. Then again, he wouldn’t have experienced the hellish aftermath she had to endure. “Well, unfortunately, I’m not as merciful. Any feelings of forgiveness I had were buried under a million scathing social media comments. All I want is closure.”

  “You did once, didn’t you?” He leaned to the side, meeting her gaze. “Have feelings for him, I mean.”

  She nibbled her lip and broke eye contact. Those emotions were lost a long time ago. The only thing ramping her heartbeat in Mason’s presence was a double dose of rage and a slight case of sex-starved lust.

  “What would you do if I told you he still has feelings for you?”

  She swung around to face him, needing to meet his gaze, to read the sincerity. They were so close, thigh to thigh, almost chest to chest. She couldn’t move. Could barely breathe. “I’d say you’re a liar,” she murmured, steeling herself against the skitter of anticipation prickling her skin. “He takes pleasure in pissing me off.”

  “Kinda like a childhood crush.”

  “You got the child part right.”

  She tried to back away, to break the uncomfortable closeness between them, but he held her shoulder tight, keeping her in place.

  “I could prove it.”

  “How?” The question was a barely audible whisper. For some reason, she felt hope. This could be her opportunity for answers. If he cared for her, even the slightest bit, it was only a matter of working out how to approach him.

  “By making him jealous.”

  Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no.

  Sean leaned closer, his warmth enveloping her, his breath brushing her cheek. She yearned to enjoy his proximity, to sink into his body and kiss away the thought of Mason. But her blood didn’t heat, her heart didn’t pound. Sean wasn’t what she needed, and a tiny piece of her already broken heart died at the realization.

  “Let’s go out tonight.” His vivid blue irises began to sparkle with mischief. “We’ll invite Mace along. If we flirt a little and put on a show, I’m sure you’ll get the reaction you need.”

  “No. I can’t.” She couldn’t gain answers in an underhanded way. She was already sick of the games. And no matter how sweet retribution would taste, she couldn’t use Sean. Not again. Especially not after he’d expressed feelings for her.

  “He’s not going to come out and tell you how he feels, Sid. He’s a guy, and a stubborn prick at that. You have to knock him off kilter.” He leaned closer, his lips mere inches from hers. “Then demand whatever answers you want while he’s struggling to gain his footing.”

  “It’s not a good idea.” Yet, the possibilities made her mind fog. She wanted it all—Mason’s affection, his apology, and all the unanswered questions gone so they no longer haunted her.

  “It’s your choice.”

  Was it? With her brain currently at the mercy of her bipolar hormones, she severely doubted it.

  “I bet he’s watching us,” Sean murmured, “Cursing under his breath at how close we’re sitting.”

  Sidney glanced down at the space between them. His muscled chest was right there, his strong arm holding her against him. It was intimate. Almost passionate. With a gentle finger, he stroked the hair off her face before outlining the side of her jaw with his delicate touch.

  “We could test the theory now.” His gaze tracked the movement of his hand. “He’s a possessive guy. It wouldn’t take much to set him off.”

  A tiny flutter of arousal entered her belly. She wasn’t sure if her reaction was from being close to a man for the first time in years, or the thought of Mason’s hunger. “Are you trying to seduce me,” she whispered against his lips, “or prove a point about Mason?”

  He released a soft chuckle. “If it works, do my motives really matter?”

  Sidney’s heart stopped as the space between th
em closed. She didn’t want to use Sean, but her mind wouldn’t focus. Her thoughts wouldn’t stray from Mason, from the need to chink his armor and get her life back. She inhaled a deep breath, waiting, anticipating the softness of his lips. Then a flurry of movement at her feet made her startle, and Sean swore against her mouth. The dogs rushed to their feet, flipping up the edge of the blanket as they began sprinting toward the house, kicking up dirt in their wake.

  “That was easy,” Sean muttered. “I didn’t even get to taste you before he ruined the fun.”

  Her stomach lurched. “He’s coming?”

  Sean rested his forehead against hers and nodded. “Not only is Mason possessive, he’s also fucking predictable.” He pulled back, meeting her gaze. “Just remember the offer to torture him tonight is still open if you want to take it.”

  She nodded, her heart hammering behind her ribs. The pounding footsteps and heaving breaths of the dogs drew close, increasing until they barreled over the top of her legs, making her squeal.

  “Jesus Christ.” Sean scowled and lifted his glare to Mason as he approached. “Put a leash on your dogs.”

  “They aren’t the only ones in need of a leash, and I don’t think I have enough to go around.”

  Sidney’s mouth gaped for slight seconds before she snapped it closed. Could Sean be right? Was that jealousy she heard in Mason’s tone, or merely wishful thinking?

  “Did you want something?” she asked, not bothering to hide her breathlessness. Somehow, through the idiocy of her excited mind, she knew this was a bad idea. But her increasing build of adrenaline was hard to ignore. She could already see the confusion in Mason’s dark eyes, and now she’d had a fix, she was starved for more.

  “My mom called.” His tone was gruff, his gaze glued to Sean’s hand on her shoulder. “Leah must have told her you were here. She wants to come over for dinner.”

  The adrenaline vanished, and Sidney nearly lost her lunch along with it. She straightened, moving to her knees and out of Sean’s reach. There was no way she could break bread with Mason’s mother again. Not after the scandal. Her own parents’ judgments had been brutal, destroying her in a way she’d never forget or forgive. She couldn’t take any more parental revulsion. “Say ‘hi’ to her for me.”