Undesired Lust

by Eden Summers

  “And what about how we feel?” She grated with a raised brow. “Ever think we might be sick of your shit too?”

  “I didn’t ask you—”

  “No, you didn’t ask us to come. We’re family. We’re obliged to stick our noses into your business and remind you how close you used to be with Sean. I remember when the two of you were taking the world by storm and loving every minute of it. Have you forgotten those days?”

  Mason fell silent. He didn’t have the strength to argue. And besides, it didn’t matter how he answered. His mother and sister were always right, even when they were clearly wrong. Though, in this case, they weren’t far from the truth. At one time, Sean had been his wingman, in every sense of the word—women, music, and mayhem. It seemed like a lifetime ago.

  Now, he was stuck in an endless cycle of disgrace. Without a proper best friend to keep him company. He was surrounded by a sea of fans who loved him, and a group of friends who supported him, yet nobody really knew who the hell he was.

  His mom nudged his shoulder, pushing him forward. “You keep reminding me you’re old enough to fix your own mistakes. So go fix them. And do it right. No more holding onto the past.”

  “It’s not that easy.” Their lives had been broken and rebuilt on shitty foundations. He’d have to pull apart what they’d become and start from scratch.

  “No, it won’t be easy. Nothing worthwhile ever is.” His mother turned, and began striding back down the hall. “I’ll make us lunch while you sort things out. Come on, Toni.”

  His sister shot him a snarling smile. “Or you could just apologize for being a jackass.”

  Fuck you. He strode through the front doorway, heading for Sidney and Sean as the officer strolled to the police cruiser. Sidney caught sight of him first, and gave him a sad smile mixed with a wince. Whatever her expression was meant to convey, it did nothing to alleviate the aggression pounding in his veins.

  “Did the officer give your phone back?” Mason said in greeting.

  Sean ignored him, still leaning against his pickup, his arms crossed over his chest, his head downcast.

  “Yes.” Sidney gave a soft nod. “He didn’t say much, only that there’s evidence of someone camping on the vacant land behind your property. Did he mention anything about the blood on the dogs?”

  “Rabbits.” He couldn’t lessen the harshness of his tone. “So much for guard dogs.” The betrayal from years ago still stung. He couldn’t let it go. He couldn’t forget.

  “Well, I guess this is my cue to go grab my keys and get outta your life.” Sean pushed from the pickup, and then stalked around Sidney, heading for the house.

  Mason raised his chin, listening to the retreating footsteps. He ignored the growing silence, hating every second ticking by because it made regret pool heavier in his gut.

  “He’s devastated,” Sidney whispered, imploring him with her sweet gaze. “He doesn’t understand why you kept it from him.”

  “And what did you tell him?”

  “I didn’t tell him anything. It’s not my place to do so.”

  He closed the distance between them, making her tilt her chin to make eye contact. He needed to be close to her, to see every emotion flitter across her features. “Do you love him?” Defeat was pulling him under. All he wanted was a bottle of Jack and a dark room to lick his wounds. But he’d fight a little longer, push himself a little harder, if he had a chance to win her back.

  Her lips parted and a frown creased her brow. “Why do you keep asking me that?”

  He huffed out a breath, hating the weakness that accompanied his desire for her. “Because I want you, and I can’t spend the rest of my days fighting for your affection if you already love someone else.”

  She paused, scrutinizing him for brief moments before a half-hearted grin tilted her mouth. “I’m as exhausted and delirious as you are, so I’ll pretend you didn’t say that.” She stepped closer, running her palm along the stubble of his jaw. She searched his gaze, seeing inside him, making him vulnerable under her scrutiny. “You blurt out some crazy things when you’re tired.”

  “Sidney,” he grated, grabbing her waist. He bit his tongue, not wanting to say the words. “I’m not delirious from lack of sleep. I’m delirious from the need to have you. Please, tell me, do you want to be with him? Is it pointless trying to win you over?”

  She paused, her eyes narrowing a fraction. “Mason.” His name was a warning. “Right now, I think you need to concentrate on winning over the best friend you just devastated by blurting out the truth he was never privy to.” She slid from his grip, her throat working over a harsh swallow. “And if my feelings for Sean ever become your business, I’ll let you know. Until then, you need to start gaining a new perspective, and start thinking about the guy who stuck by you, even when he thought your actions were reprehensible. Once he walks from your life, you’ll never get him back.”

  Sidney strode for his house, not sparing him a second glance as she took all his optimism with her.

  MASON REMAINED OUTSIDE, waiting for the police to leave before he reluctantly went back inside. He wasn’t looking forward to the judgmental stares of three opinionated females. He’d much prefer the threat of Sean’s fist. And that scenario was likely too. But he entered the kitchen and scanned the room, he found no sign of Sean.

  “Where is he?”

  His mother didn’t pause in her task of chopping vegetables at the sink. “I think he’s gathering his things from the spare room.”

  Fuck. He stalked down the hall, making sure Sean could hear his footsteps before he entered the room. The reality of his friend leaving sunk in when he found him yanking the spare set of clothes from the wardrobe.

  Mason closed the door behind him, still after two years, unable to find the right words to explain what he needed to say. “Are you breaking up with me, bro?”

  Sean let out a breath of derisive laughter. “In reality, it appears you did that to me a long time ago.” He slammed the wardrobe shut. “Don’t worry, I’ll be outta your hair in a minute.”

  Mason wanted to tell him to stop. To put the clothes back where they belonged, but he couldn’t push past the crippling pride that had been his constant companion. And a second girlfriend joke wouldn’t be as funny as the first. So he waited in silence while Sean grabbed his belongings from the bed covers.

  “Christ, Mason.” Sean ran his free hand through his short cropped hair and turned to face him.

  “Why the fuck didn’t you tell me? All this time, I’ve been blaming you, and not once did you clarify.”

  Mason shook his head, unable to come up with an answer. He now knew pride wasn’t a good enough excuse. Their friendship had been shattered the day the sex tape was uploaded. With both of them having different reasons why. Losing his best friend had been hard. Knowing he never had the guy’s trust in the first place was more painful to acknowledge.

  “When I turned up at your apartment, I was livid,” Sean continued. “I was so fucking mad that I was looking forward to knocking you on your ass. And you never stopped me.”

  “I didn’t have the chance.”

  Sean winced. “Fuck. Why the hell didn’t you tell me afterward?” He dropped the clothes to the bed again and scrubbed two hands down his face. “I don’t get it. All this time has been one fat lie.”

  “Take a look from my perspective,” Mason muttered. “I suffered through the same bullshit you did, with the added bonus of everyone blaming me for the scandal—”

  “Christ. You were the only one with access to the video. What other conclusion did you expect me to come up with?”

  “One that didn’t hold me accountable woulda been nice.” Mason hung his head and leaned against the wall. “You blindsided me with that punch. I was in shock, unable to understand how you could think I’d done something like that. It was fucked. Then you and Leah left, and the anger set in. The paparazzi picked up on the underlying tension and came up with the publicity bullshit. They didn’t get it
from me.” He threw his hands up in the air. “I let the world believe what it wanted. Que-fucking-sera. I moved on with my life.”

  “Yeah, you moved on, but what about me? Jesus, man, I can’t believe how long you’ve been carrying this shit. Why couldn’t you tell me once we started moving on?”

  “By then it was too late. It took a long time for me to get over it, and once I had, there was no point stirring up bad blood.” Mason’s voice lowered to a murmur, the words becoming hard to admit. “That shit stung. It fucking scarred me. This lifestyle alienates us from the rest of the world without scandals like this. I was alone. I had nothing. No one. All my friends were gone.”

  Sean collapsed onto the mattress and placed his head in his hands. “I was your friend, Mason. I just had a bad fucking day.” He looked up through pained eyes. “I made one mistake that you’ve held against me for years. All this time, I didn’t even know you hated me.”

  “I don’t hate you. I just…” Mason pushed from the wall, unsure what to do. He stopped at the foot of the bed, wishing he could take back the last two years. “I felt betrayed, and couldn’t get over it.”

  “You should’ve told me.”

  “Yeah.” If Mason was a better man, he probably would’ve. It was easier to continue pretending life was peachy than deal with a situation like this. “I should’ve done a lot of things.” Like delete the video the morning after they’d slept with Sidney.

  “I assume the police never found who was responsible?”

  Mason shook his head. He didn’t even know if the person who broke into his apartment was a man or a woman. The surveillance video hadn’t been clear enough. Owning an apartment in a highly frequented hotel had its disadvantages. Trusting that management had security under control was one of them. “No. Nothing conclusive.”

  “And what about Sidney?” Sean asked, breaking eye contact. “She obviously knows. The two of you seem to be getting along a lot better this morning.”

  “I told her last night. I’m trying to make amends.” He paused, not sure whether to elaborate. Being vulnerable didn’t sit well with him. He didn’t like feeling weak and exposed. Eventually, if he wanted to regain the friendship they’d once had, he needed to step out on a limb. “I like her…I’ve always liked her.”

  “Yeah,” Sean sighed. “Me too.”

  Mason hated himself for the pang of jealousy restricting his chest. Sidney deserved a guy like Sean. Christ, what guy would leave the horrors of a sex tape scandal in the past and move on with their friendship? Mason sure as shit hadn’t been man enough to bury that hatchet.

  “Don’t worry,” Sean continued. “Nothing happened between us.”

  The jealousy subsided, replaced by a different type of restriction around his heart. Overnight, Sidney had changed. The unforgiving anger had left her gaze. She’d even dropped her guard enough for him to kiss her. But he didn’t kid himself that she’d changed for the long term. Like she accused him earlier, she was probably exhausted and overrun with adrenaline. Only time would tell if he could win her back.

  “I’ve got a lot to make up for,” he murmured.

  “Yeah, you do. And apparently, so do I.” Sean stood and strolled around the mattress to stand before Mason. “I’ve gotta get out of here and clear my head.”

  Mason struggled under the weight of shame. The truth never should’ve been hidden this long. “Are we cool?” He held out his fist, waiting to bump knuckles.

  Sean left him hanging, staring at the offering in front of him as he let out a ragged breath. “I’m fucking devastated, but I guess I’ll get over it.” Finally, he rapped their fists together. “I’ve tried hating you once before, and that shit is too damn hard.”

  “SEE YA, SID.”

  Sidney pushed her chair out from under the dining room table at the sound of Sean’s voice. “You’re leaving?” She stood and then hurried toward him, wincing at the unyielding headache now pounding through her skull.

  “Yeah, honey. I’m flying to New York tomorrow. I better spend some time with the parentals before I leave.”

  Mason leaned against the doorframe, his penetrating gaze sending a shiver of awareness down her spine. She opened her arms to Sean and then closed the distance between them to wrap her arms around his waist. They were both hiding behind blank expressions, not allowing her to determine if any bridges had been mended.

  “Did the two of you sort things out?” she whispered against his neck.

  “Yeah. We’re good. For now.” He kissed her forehead, unperturbed with the Lynch family audience.

  Sidney squeezed him tighter, unconvinced. “I hope so.” Next time they met, she didn’t want to see the sadness in his eyes.

  “Don’t worry about me, sweetheart.” Sean stepped back and pasted on a smile. “Call me when you get to N.Y. so we can catch up.”

  Mason cleared his throat and stalked to her side. She couldn’t help it, her lips twitched in pleasure. It was nice to have someone protective of her. No matter how caveman he was acting.

  “See,” Sean added, “I told you he’s a jealous prick.”

  “Now, now,” Mrs. Lynch raised her voice. “There is way too much offensive language in this house.”

  “True,” Toni added. “And I for one am fucking sorry about that.”

  Sidney tried to smother her laughter, forcing it come out in a snort instead, and then had to wince with the renewed burst of pain shooting through her head. She needed to lie down and rest, just for a little while.

  “It was lovely to see you again, Mrs. Lynch, Toni.”

  “You too, Sean.” Mason’s mom waved a wooden cooking spoon from the kitchen. “I hope to see you next time you’re in town.”

  “Will do.”

  Sean exchanged a salute of farewell with Toni before he turned to Mason. Tension built as the room seemed to collectively hold its breath. “I’ll see you in the studio.”

  Mason inclined his head. “I’ll walk you out.”

  Sidney watched the men stride down the hall. The room remained quiet, all three of them listening to the sound of footsteps, then the whoosh of the door sliding open.

  “Well, that seems promising.” Mrs. Lynch beamed. Her face was aglow with relief, the wrinkles around her eyes deepening with her wide smile.

  Sidney nodded, immediately regretting the movement. She groaned and pressed her fingers to her temples. The ache was building, pounding behind her eyes.

  “You OK, Sid?” Toni asked.

  “Just a headache.”

  Mrs. Lynch placed her spoon on the sink and walked around the counter. “You need to rest.” She placed a gentle palm on the low of Sidney’s back. “Go take a nap in one of the spare rooms. I’ll put your lunch in the fridge.”

  “I might lie down on the sofa for a few minutes.”

  “No. You need proper rest.” Mrs. Lynch shook her head. “I’ll get a clean set of sheets for you and make up the bed.”

  “What’s going on?” Mason’s deep voice rumbled behind her.

  “Sidney has a headache and needs to lie down.”

  Mason moved into sight, his gaze raking her face in concern. “It’ll be quieter in my room.”

  Oh, no. Sidney opened her mouth to protest, but didn’t feel comfortable with three pairs of Lynch eyes waiting for her reply. “Umm. Thank you.”

  Mason’s hand slid into hers, shooting fire into her veins. He led her into the hallway, while Toni made kissing noises, and Mrs. Lynch growled in frustration.

  “Do you want some aspirin?” Mason asked when they reached his bedroom door. He dropped her hand and then indicated for her to go inside.

  “No, thanks.” She paused in the doorway, her gaze seeking the bed so many women must have slept in. A lot of hot and sweaty would’ve happened between those sheets. And the bed partners would’ve been flawless—models, athletes, actresses. Mason would’ve enjoyed them all.

  “What’s wrong?”

  She snapped to attention and met his gaze. “Nothing, wh
y?”

  “You’re frowning. Doesn’t my bed meet your high standards?”

  She rolled her eyes, hiding her hesitation. “If it’s good enough for the illustrious Mason Lynch to rest his head, then I certainly can’t complain. I just hope I don’t catch any STDs from the sheets.” The taunt was meant as a joke, an off the cuff comment to hide the vulnerability heating her cheeks. It had the opposite effect.

  Mason met her gaze, his deep penetrating eyes making the throb of her headache less dominant. “Rest assured, kitten. I don’t let anyone else sleep in my bed.”

  She snorted. “Right…”

  “What?” His lips tilted in a grin.

  She slid away from him and then sat on the quilt covered mattress, one eyebrow raised as she flipped off her shoes. “Are you trying to be funny?”

  He laughed, his brilliant grin beaming at her. “OK, it was a tiny white lie.” He held up his hands in surrender. “Truthfully, there’s been one woman in my bed. I just didn’t think the few minutes you spent in here this morning would count.”

  “You’re hilarious.” She licked her lips, unable to stop the automatic reaction to his gorgeous smile. “You know, if you lie about sex, your dick will fall off.”

  “Unless you plan on making my dick your concern, I guess you don’t have to worry about it, do you?” He raised a taunting brow.

  “I guess not.” She pressed her mouth closed. Do not lick your lips again. Do not lick your lips again!

  The slyness of his grin increased, hitting her with enough force to make her pussy clench. “Have a good rest, kitten. I’ll check on you later.”

  She watched him strut his way out the door, slowly pulling it closed behind him. Annoyance warred with the butterflies in her stomach. After all this time, no matter what she’d been through, Mason still knew how to make her panties damp with a simple quirk of his lips. And it seemed awfully inappropriate to be alone in his room, her blood heated with arousal, and nobody to let it out on.

  Well played fate, well played.

  ***

  MASON WAITED FOR his mother to drive out the property gates before he closed the front door with a relieved sigh. Finally, he had an unhostile Sidney to himself. He’d already double checked every inch of his property and the surrounding land. Shadow and Willow were outside, maintaining their usual position at the glass doors leading to the kitchen.