Undesired Lust

by Eden Summers

  “Kitten, we had sex a few hours ago. I’ve seen everything you have to offer.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat when she glared at him over her shoulder.

  “There’s a big difference between now and then,” she growled, pulling up her knees and circling them with her arms. “I had pre-orgasm confidence. I’ve got nothing now.”

  “You what?” He began to chuckle as her frown deepened.

  “Pre-orgasm confidence—the courage you get in the face of a promised orgasm. Your body goes on autopilot, and you push your insecurities to the back of your mind in the effort to get laid.”

  “Well, what if I promise not to look?”

  Another glare with a bonus scoff.

  “OK, maybe that’s a stretch,” he admitted. He only had the view of her smooth back, and already he was taking every opportunity to scope out every inch of visible flesh. “But just so you know, I’m trying my best not to perv.”

  “Mason,” she barked. “Get out.”

  “You’ve lost a lot of weight.”

  With a growl, she slammed a hand against the spa button, shutting off the jets, and then quickly covered up again. “Yeah. The constant diet of stress and public humiliation helped keep me in shape.” She swung around to face the foot of the bath. “Can you please get out?”

  “Not until you tell me what happened with the label.”

  She groaned. Loud.

  He strode into the room, to the foot of the bath, ignoring her attempts to hide her modesty, and sat on the porcelain edge so they were face to face. Her hazel eyes pleaded with him, begging him to leave, but he knew she was more concerned about the topic of conversation than her nudity.

  “Is this how you normally manipulate women?” She raised a brow. “Wait until they’re at their most vulnerable, then strike?”

  “This is a first for me.” He shrugged. “I’ve told you before, I don’t bring women to my house.”

  “Oh, yeah, I forgot that load of bullshit.”

  He shot her a lazy grin. God, he loved her snarkasm. He wanted to bottle it and take it with him wherever he went. She ramped his heartbeat, simmered his blood, and the effect on his cock was instantaneous arousal.

  “I’m willing to crawl in there with you to get the answers I want.”

  “Well it would certainly even up the score if I wasn’t the only one naked.”

  He raised a brow. “You want me to take my clothes off?”

  “That is not what I meant, and you know it.”

  The depths of her irises turned somber. He was pushing too hard, and he couldn’t stop himself. He needed to know if her dream of stardom had been crumpled because of him.

  “Why can’t you tell me, kitten?” he murmured. The more he hounded, the more his intuition told him he wouldn’t like the answer.

  She sucked in a deep breath and then sighed. “Hand me a towel.” They stood at the same time…well, all three of them actually, because his cock didn’t want to be left out. He reached behind him, pulling a fresh, black towel from the rail.

  His focus shot to the trimmed patch of curls at the apex of her thighs, and the smooth expanse of her shaved pussy. He didn’t need a landing strip to get his jet into the hanger, but he appreciated the way it looked on her.

  “Can you at least turn around?”

  He lifted his focus to her glower and did as requested, turning a full three-sixty before planting his gaze back on her delectable body, the material still in his grasp.

  “Not funny,” she muttered. “And eye contact would be appreciated.”

  “Uh huh,” he murmured, trying to determine which droplets of water he wanted to lick off first.

  “Thanks.” She yanked the towel from his hand. “Such a gentleman.”

  Reluctant as hell, he lifted his focus. “I never claimed to be a gentleman.”

  “And no doubt, you’ll never be one either.”

  She turned her back to him and secured the material above her breasts. Beads of water lined her shoulders and neck, taunting him, demanding his attention. The warmth in the room made the scent of her hair more potent. He could almost taste it on his tongue.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, stop it,” she muttered, then swung around to face him. “Christ.” She pulled back at the lack of distance between them. “Didn’t your mom ever teach you about personal space?”

  He grinned. “My mom taught me a lot of things.” His gaze lowered to her mouth. He wanted to taste her, to kiss her until she whimpered for more. “I rarely listened.”

  “Can I at least get changed before you interrogate me?”

  She moistened her lower lip, driving him to the brink of madness with her unintentional seduction. Or maybe it was deliberate. With Sidney he could never tell.

  “I don’t like that idea.” He bridged the space between them, wrapping a hand around her waist to pull her against him.

  He came into the bathroom on a mission, determined to get answers. Now, he couldn’t remember the questions. She undid his control, tempted him when no other woman ever had. And the hold she had around his heart was growing tighter by the second.

  “Mason.” Her voice was whisper soft. “I thought you wanted to talk.”

  He couldn’t think past his need for her. His cock throbbed, demanding pleasure. He wanted to get back to the night of the Grammys, when she’d wanted him, just as much as he’d wanted her. He needed to see her eyes alight with lust, her body soft and malleable underneath his.

  “All I want is you.” He murmured the words before his mind could stop them. He was weak for her. She owned his muse, his libido, hell, she could own his soul if she so desired. All he needed was a glimpse of the feelings she’d once had. He had to know if the passion they once shared was still obtainable. If their moment in the studio was merely a fluke. “I want you back, kitten.”

  “You never had me,” she whispered, a breath away from his lips.

  “Yeah, I did.” He wasn’t confident in his statement. Sidney was the only woman to ever make him doubt himself, but he wanted so badly to believe it.

  “Don’t you think this is too soon? Too fast?” She pulled back to meet his gaze. “Yesterday, we were ready to kill each other…”

  “And today, I’d kill to have you in my bed. Just like I would’ve yesterday, and the day before that, and every other day since we were last together.” He reached up to pull the elastic from her hair, letting the damp strands fall heavy around her shoulders. They were both lost, struggling to get over the past, yet the heat between them was undeniable.

  Her breath hitched as he worked his fingers over her scalp. “Grander gave me a contract,” she said in a rush.

  He paused in his exploration through her hair, and smiled. That must have been one of her stipulations of coming out here—a recording contract. It didn’t matter how she obtained it, she deserved the recognition. With her voice and knack with lyrics, she was going to rock the top of the music charts. “I’m happy for you.” He gazed into her eyes and wondered why he couldn’t see the elation reflected in her irises.

  “They offered it to me the Monday after our Grammy win.”

  Two years ago? He frowned. “You didn’t take it?”

  “I didn’t have a choice. They tore it up before signing it. Apparently, their marketing strategy for my angelic voice was no longer marketable since the whole world knew I was a whore.”

  He disentangled his fingers from her hair, and then dropped a clenched fist to his side. He wanted to laugh and call her out on her bullshit, but he could tell it was the truth. She stared at him with embarrassment heating her cheeks.

  “They said that to you?” He swallowed over the dryness in his throat, breathing through his sudden spike of fury.

  “I’m paraphrasing.”

  Fuck. The things she’d gone through were tearing him apart. He’d known her life had been tough after the video was uploaded. The severity was so much more than he imagined. In honesty, he’d tried to distance himself. With his own tur
bulent and moody emotions, he hadn’t wanted to add to his sorrow by worrying about a woman who hated him. He wished he could’ve sucked up his pride and been there to help her.

  “Can we drop it now?” Her words held venom as she stormed from the bathroom.

  “Yeah,” he muttered to himself. He could drop it. He usually had the ability to let things slide once he’d fucked them up completely. This list of destruction continued to grow—no contract, no family, no clients, no confidence. What else had she lost?

  “Sid, wait.” He strode from the bathroom, going after her, not stopping until they were toe to toe at the side of his bed. “I’m sorry. I know you think I never cared. But I did. I still do.”

  She straightened, pressing a hand against his chest so she didn’t fall onto the mattress. “I just want to let it go. I’m sick of my life revolving around one mistake.”

  His mistake. He found it hard to look at her, to handle the fragility in her gaze. He’d caused her this heartache. His one moment of selfishness had set a tragic course in motion, and he didn’t know how to fix it.

  He placed his hands to her hips, unable to stop touching her. “Then tell me what you’ve been through. Maybe I can fix it.”

  “No.” She laughed with ridicule. “You can’t. All I can do is move forward and try to forget. So please stop pushing me.”

  “I’ve said ‘I’m sorry.’ For today, and every other day…” He’d meant it too, and he’d continue to apologize until things between them were back to the way they once were.

  “I know you have, and I accept your apology. But I can’t click my fingers and forget our history.” She peered up at him, begging for understanding. “It’s going to take time to stop the automatic reflex to be angry with you. And I wasn’t even your best friend, Mason. I can’t fathom what Sean is going through right now.”

  “Christ.” He stabbed a hand through his hair. He was a failure—as a friend and a musician. “I’m so sorry, kitten.” His voice was ragged as he stepped back. He left her standing there and strode for the bedroom door, no longer able to bear her anguish. Asking for her to come here was a stupid idea. Telling her the truth about the scandal was fucking idiotic. He couldn’t change what had happened. All he’d done was stir up a hurtful past.

  He made it to the hall before the sound of her following padded footsteps penetrated. Then her delicate grip was on his wrist, making him pause. He waited, holding his breath, expecting her to chew him out for being a coward.

  “I’m struggling at the moment. Things are moving too fast, and I can’t get my head around it,” she murmured behind him. “That doesn’t mean I won’t be stronger with time. And it certainly doesn’t mean I won’t chase after you, like you’ve done for me.”

  He faced her, and the tightening in his chest increased until he couldn’t take the pain. He released his breath and clenched his jaw through the ache continuing to throb behind his sternum. “I’ve spent the last twenty-four hours chasing you because you deserved it. I don’t deserve shit.”

  Sidney rolled her eyes. “Cry me a river, Lynch.”

  And there it went, his self-loathing, his grief, all dissolving in a few quick words and a playful smile.

  “You’ve definitely honed your snarky skills, haven’t you?” He tugged on her towel, bringing her forward. “So nasty and mean.” He had to hold her. To feel her close and never let go.

  She fell into his chest, the curve of her towel covered breasts resting against him. “And you’ve mastered the art of being overly dramatic. You were never a sympathy whore before.”

  He chuckled, leaning back into the wall. “And I’m not now.” His humor slowly faded. He wasn’t looking for attention. He supposed he was searching for understanding, not only from Sean and Sidney, but from himself too. After two years, he could no longer understand why he’d kept the truth so close to his chest. “All I want is for you to be able to see things from my perspective.”

  “I can do that.” She met his gaze, her lips temptingly close to his. “As long as you can do the same for me.”

  “It isn’t easy when you won’t tell me what you went through.”

  “You’ll get over it.” She gave him a lazy grin. “That part of my life is officially buried. Done. I’m not going back there.” She playfully poked at his unwavering stomach.

  “I want to know what I did to you, Sid.” The unanswered questions were burning him alive. “Let me know, so I can make it better.”

  “It’s not going to happen.”

  “You’re so bossy.” He squeezed her hips and positioned his knee between hers, spreading her legs. Apologies didn’t come easy to him. So he focused on one of the few things that did—pleasure. “I like it.”

  She nibbled her bottom lip and lowered her gaze.

  “What is it?” he asked.

  “I don’t know what you want from me. You asked me here to help with the album. But this—” she waved a hand between them, “I don’t know what this is. Is it a way to spark your muse? Or some sort of bliss-filled apology?”

  “It’s whatever you want it to be.” He stroked a hand along her jaw, to her chin, and then let his hand fall to her shoulder. “I’ve wanted you for a long time. I’ll take whatever I can get.”

  She closed her eyes for a moment and gave a shake of her head. “That’s the hardest part for me to believe. I’m scared this is some kind of retaliation. That you’ll make me crazy from wanting you, and then snap your fingers, and I’ll wake up to the reality that you’ve played me again.”

  “Don’t say that.” He leaned in, brushing his lips over the soft skin below her ear. If he had the balls, he would’ve looked her in the eye as he spoke, yet after all this, he was still a chicken-shit, still unable to handle the vulnerability Sidney made him feel. “Once, you were everything to me. Nobody has ever made me jealous before, yet you pull it from me by the truckload. I remember wanting to slaughter Sean for dancing with you after the Grammys, and the best and worst part was that you had no clue of the effect you had on me. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do, and I won’t allow it to happen again.”

  He nuzzled his nose under her ear, holding his breath, waiting for her to laugh. It wasn’t until her breath hitched that he had the courage to continue. “I want you, kitten.”

  She released a faint whimper, and he pulled back to be hit with her lust dazed expression. “I want you too.”

  His knees threatened to buckle with relief. “You don’t know how happy that makes me.” He placed a hard kiss on her mouth, licking the seam of her lips before retreating.

  “If the tent in your pants is any indication, I’ve kinda got a clue.”

  He chuckled, the sound releasing all the pent-up emotions he’d held in for too long. He wished this was all it took, a few whispered words of adoration and the grinding of his shaft against her pubic bone. But he still had a long distance to travel to mend the fractures between them. He couldn’t allow for any more fuck-ups.

  He grabbed her around the waist, lifting her. As he carried her to his bedroom, she wrapped her legs around his hips, clinging to him. He sat her down on the mattress, the bathroom light bathing her in a warm glow. She was clueless to her tempting beauty, sitting before him with damp hair falling over her shoulders.

  “You make me feel beautiful when you look at me like that,” she murmured.

  Christ. He was thankful his expression said it all. There were no words deep enough to describe the way she undid him. He’d never invested his time in finding love, or believing in the notion that one woman would ever make him happy. Yet, when he was with Sidney, he couldn’t picture his future without her. Not a happy one anyway.

  His muse didn’t want to be without her. And neither did he.

  “You are beautiful.” He reached for her hands, entwining their fingers, and then pressed into her, making her fall onto the bed, with him on top. He ground his pelvis into her, lifting her arms above her head as he kissed her. “You’re gorgeous.” He
licked the seam of her lips. “You make me mindless.” He spoke into her mouth, slowly brushing his tongue over hers. “And god, it kills me to admit it, but I want to make you so fucking happy.”

  “Why?” she whispered, tilting her head to break the kiss and meet his gaze.

  He leaned up on his elbows, their fingers still tangled. “Because your smile is the best damn thing I’ve ever seen.”

  “No.” She shook her head, squeezing his hands. “Why does it kill you to admit?”

  He paused, contemplating the ways he could distract her from his answer. Sex was his friend, seduction his God-given skill. Honesty and vulnerability were the opposite. He despised weakness. He’d hated being ruled by his pride. But he couldn’t stop himself from speaking the truth. She deserved it. And he deserved to be at her mercy for once. “You can make or break me, kitten. I don’t like the power you have over me.”

  “Is there a chink in that arrogant armor of yours?”

  He leaned to one side, hitching the towel higher up her thigh. “No chink. More like a massive fucking hole.”

  She grinned, brilliant and bright. “I admit, it’s nice to be adored by you. I haven’t felt the need to smile in a long time.” Her happiness quickly faded. “But we both know a fling is all that can come of this.”

  “Why?”

  She frowned, her gaze searching his. “You want more than that?”

  “Fuck yes, I want more. I want ever—”

  The loud smash of shattering glass had him rushing to his feet, his heart pounding in his throat. “Shit.” His curse was cut off by the ear piercing screech of the security alarm kicking in.

  He pulled Sidney to stand, eyeing the broken shards on his bedroom floor. “Get your clothes on,” he yelled over the shrill noise reverberating in his ears. He didn’t have the luxury of concern. His emotions had shot straight to anger.

  It was time to catch whoever was messing with them and get a little justice before the police arrived.

  SIDNEY YANKED ON her clothes, and then grabbed her cell phone from the bedside table as Mason jumped onto the bed and over the other side to the closest corner of the window. He pulled the curtain aside, letting the brightness from the security lights blaze inside.