Sarah's Gift (Pleasant Valley 4)

by Marta Perry

  Aaron grasped his shoulder. “You have a gut heart, Nathan.”

  “That’s why you were so upset about the beer,” Benjamin said. “It wondered me why you got so angry. You were afraid I’m like Daadi.” Benjamin looked up, eyes wide and frightened. “What if I am?”

  Aaron hugged him close, his heart expanding with love. “We know the answer to that already. When a crisis came, you kept your head and did the right thing in a difficult situation. You’re not like Daadi. You’re turning into exactly the kind of man Mammi would want you to be.”

  Benjamin leaned his head against Aaron’s shoulder, just as he had when he’d been a toddler, leaning on his big brother, and Aaron could feel the relief that went through him.

  “That’s not so hard,” he said. “I just thought what you would do, and I did it.”

  A glance out the window told Sarah that the snow still fell heavily, darkening the day. Hours had gone by, and there’d been no sign of the paramedics.

  Sarah had checked the baby periodically with the fetal stethoscope and been reassured each time. Molly’s brothers had been in and out, bringing soup, tea, encouragement. Molly had spent most of her time either walking slowly or rocking in the rocking chair through the contractions.

  Molly turned her head restlessly against the chair back in the aftermath of a contraction. “It’s hard.”

  “Ja, it is. The hardest work you’ll ever do.” Sarah took Molly’s arm. “Let’s move you to the bed for a bit. Maybe you’ll be more comfortable there.”

  Molly nodded, and together they crossed the few feet to the bed. Sarah arranged pillows around her. “Some women find it easiest to rest on their side between contractions, supported by pillows. Why don’t we try that?”

  Molly had slept in this bed as a child, had looked out the window at the old oak tree now covered with snow. She would be gaining comfort and reassurance from the surroundings, far different from an impersonal hospital room.

  Once Molly was settled, Sarah massaged in a small, steady circle on Molly’s lower back. Sarah’s hand and arm had begun to ache from the constant movement, but the massage eased Molly’s discomfort.

  “That’s right. Let your body do the work. Think about the contraction opening a door to let your baby into the world.”

  “What if I’m not doing this right? What if I’m too tired?” Molly’s voice caught on a note of self-doubt.

  Sarah had heard it so many times—the doubt that crept in when the goal was nearly reached. Every first-time mother seemed to hit that point.

  “You’re doing wonderful gut, Molly. Just exactly right.” She picked up the cup of raspberry tea Nathan had brewed at her direction and held it to Molly’s lips. “Drink a little more of this. It will help with the contractions.”

  “The contractions are so fast.” Molly sipped and then caught her breath as another one grew.

  “Breathe, Molly, breathe easy.” Sarah set the tea aside. “Feel yourself float right up to the top of the contraction. Just go with it and picture your baby pushing his way out into the world.” Some women seemed helped by that image, so she always used it.

  Molly nodded, but her eyes were round with apprehension. She was tiring, her concentration slipping. Sarah couldn’t let her focus on fear, or labor would turn from exhausting work to pain.

  “Why don’t we call Aaron in to help?” She knew all the reasons why that wasn’t wise, and one compelling reason why it was. Molly needed someone to lean on right now. Her husband couldn’t be here, but her big brother could.

  “He shouldn’t . . . He can’t . . .” Molly was obviously thinking of all those reasons against bringing Aaron into the room. Then she bit her lip, tears welling in her eyes. “I need Aaron. Tell him. Tell him I need my big brother.”

  Sarah went quickly to the door. She could hear movement downstairs and knew that Aaron wouldn’t be far away.

  “Aaron, Molly wants you with her. Will you komm?”

  She didn’t wait for an answer. She knew already what it would be. Aaron would never deny his siblings what they needed out of his own fear. That was the kind of man he was—strong, reliable, self-sacrificing.

  By the time she’d returned to Molly, Aaron was there, hurrying into the room, his face drawn. “Molly? Are you all right?”

  “Molly’s fine,” Sarah said. She touched his arm, willing him to take his cue from her. “But it will soon be time for her to push, and she needs someone strong to lean on. She needs her big brother.”

  Deftly she rearranged the pillows, spreading a sheet over Molly and easing her into a better position for pushing.

  “Now, you will sit against the headboard here, and Molly will lean back against you.” She looked up, her gaze meeting his, and nodded in reassurance. “It’s all right. You can do this.”

  He didn’t answer. He just slid into the position she’d indicated, letting Molly rest against him.

  Denke, Father.

  She coached Molly, talking gently, calmly, encouraging her on with the job. All her focus had to be on Molly and the baby as Molly moved into the next stage of labor. She was just as wrapped up in the task as Molly was.

  “You’re going to push this baby out now. He or she is ready to come. Just take a breath when the contraction starts and push down.”

  Molly nodded. She clutched Aaron’s arms and pushed.

  “Gut, gut job.” Sarah massaged with oil, easing the passageway for the baby.

  Intent as she was, she couldn’t help glancing at Aaron now and then. She saw the moment when the fear began to fade from his eyes. Soon he picked up on her words, speaking to Molly in a gentle, encouraging way.

  “That’s it, Molly. You can do it. You could always do anything you set your mind on. Even when you were a tiny girl. Remember when you climbed to the top of the oak tree? No one thought you could do it, but you did.” His arms reddened where Molly gripped them, but his voice stayed calm.

  Molly gave a watery chuckle. “You taught me.”

  “I did. Maybe I’ll get to teach my little niece or nephew.”

  Finally, after what Molly must think was a lifetime of pushing, the baby crowned. “Stop pushing now, Molly,” Sarah said. “Just breathe nice and easy for a moment. The baby is coming out, and I need to ease the way.” She couldn’t help holding her own breath at this point. “Okay, now push.”

  Molly groaned with the effort, and the baby’s head slipped through.

  “One more push. You can do it.” On her words the baby slid out into her waiting hands, wet and wiggling and full of life. “It’s a boy. You and Jacob have a son, Molly.” The baby’s cry punctuated her words.

  Sarah held him for just a second, heart filled with prayers of thanks. And then she put him in Molly’s arms.

  This was the moment—that precious moment when the new mother looked at her baby, cradling him close against her, murmuring words of love that only he could hear. This made anything worthwhile, even the cost she might have to pay for her actions.

  Aaron bent close, his face filled with awe, and dropped a kiss on his sister’s head. Then he touched the baby’s tiny hand with his large one, so gently. He looked up, meeting Sarah’s gaze, and joy filled her heart to overflowing.

  Perhaps there would never be anything more between her and Aaron, but they had shared this wondrous moment together.

  Sarah stirred the pot of chicken soup on the stove, inhaling its comforting aroma as it warmed. Molly’s brothers were upstairs with her, staring in wonderment at the new arrival. She’d give them a little time together while she prepared a light meal for Molly.

  And she’d had a sudden need to get away from Aaron. That experience of working together to birth Molly’s baby had been too intense, and her feelings for him were so raw that she feared giving herself away with every look, with every word.

  A step sounded behind her. She didn’t need to look to know it was Aaron who stood there.

  “This will be ready soon.” She stirred, not turning toward
him. “Molly probably won’t want much, she’s still so excited, but she should eat something.”

  “Ja, she should. She worked hard.”

  He moved closer—so close Sarah could feel the warmth of him. She yearned to lean back, to feel his arms close around her. But she couldn’t.

  “Does she need me?” She half turned, wooden spoon in her hand.

  He shook his head. “I wanted to ask if I should chase the boys out. I don’t want her to tire herself.”

  “She’s running on sheer joy, I think. When I take her meal up, I’ll have them leave. Then I think she will settle down and sleep for a bit.”

  “She’s fretting over not being able to let Jacob know right away, but there’s nothing we can do about that.” He gestured toward the window and the still-swirling snow. “It might be slacking off a little, but it’s going to be a record-breaker for sure.”

  He’d moved a little toward the window as he spoke, and Sarah seemed able to breathe again.

  “No way of getting through to the rescue squad, either,” she said. “At least . . . well, I could take the sleigh back to Aunt Emma’s and see if the phone is still working.”

  “Someone should, but not you. Molly needs you here. I’ll send Nathan and Benjamin, and they must go soon, before it gets dark. They can tell Emma you’re staying here.”

  She must have lifted her eyebrows a little at that, because he smiled.

  “I’m being too bossy, ain’t so? That’s what Molly would say, but you are too polite. I mean, will you stay, please, Sarah? Our cousin Katie is to come and help out, but she lives clear over in Columbia County, and with this weather, it’s hard to say when she’ll get here.”

  “Ja, of course I’ll stay to help Molly.” Her brothers, well-intentioned though they might be, wouldn’t have the least idea how to care for a new mammi and a newborn boppli. “As long as I can.” She tried to keep her voice from quivering.

  Aaron took a hasty step toward her. “You are thinking of the law? Ja, of course you are. But there’s no reason why the police have to know about this. We must tell the truth if asked, but we don’t have to volunteer it.”

  “Ach, Aaron, you know Pleasant Valley better than that. With the best intentions in the world, folks can’t keep a secret. And there are some who’d like fine to see the midwife practice closed. Someone will tell.”

  “Sarah, you must not come to harm for what you’ve done today.” He clasped both her hands in his. “That would not be right. You didn’t want to break the rules. I can’t let you be hurt because you helped my sister.”

  His hands were tight on hers, and she could feel the beat of his pulse. It was like an engine, driving hers, too, so that her heart raced with his.

  She looked up at him, knowing she must be giving away her feelings but unable to stop. “It . . . it is gut of you to care about my troubles, but—”

  “Not just your troubles, Sarah.” He let go of her hands, but only so that he could cradle her face between his palms. “I care about you. Since the moment I saw you standing alone at the bus station, I’ve known that there was something between us. I love you, Sarah. I must keep you safe.”

  Her eyes filled with tears she didn’t want to shed. “Aaron, I . . .” And then she said no more, as his arms went around her and his lips found hers.

  The world seemed to spin around her, and then to narrow down to the circle of Aaron’s arms. She heard his breath, listened to the steady beat of his heart. He drew her close into his arms.

  “Ach, Sarah,” he murmured. “I want a future with you. Tell me that’s what you want, too.”

  “Ja.” She whispered the word, drawing back so that she could see his face. There must be no mistake in what she was about to say. “Aaron, there is something you must know before we can talk of the future. I think . . . I fear that I cannot have children. If I can’t—”

  He put his palm gently over her lips. “If you can’t, then that is a sorrow we will bear together.”

  She searched his face for any shadow of doubt. There was no trace of condemnation in his eyes—only love.

  “If you are sure . . .”

  “I am.” He smiled. “Besides, we’ll have plenty of nieces and nephews to love.”

  She could let herself believe, and she smiled in response. “Better not mention that to Molly for a few days, at least.”

  He nodded, sobering. “About that—we will make the lawyers understand. You called the paramedics. It was no one’s fault they couldn’t get here. It was an emergency.”

  Hope flickered faintly. “Maybe they will not blame me.”

  “Any sensible person would know you couldn’t risk Molly and the baby dying from lack of care when you were right here.” He stroked her cheek. “They’ll understand you couldn’t do anything else, and you’ll agree to close the practice and this trouble will all be over. You’ll be safe.”

  His words sank in slowly. He just assumed that she would bend to the law and give up the midwife practice.

  Her heart seemed to chill. Her husband’s love had been conditional on her having a baby. It looked as if Aaron’s love was conditional, too . . . on her giving up the midwife practice.

  She took a step back, and his arms dropped. Maybe he knew already what she would say.

  “I can’t do that, Aaron. I have to do what is right.”

  “Sarah, don’t. You don’t have to fight this. I’m trying to protect you.”

  Of course. That was what Aaron did. But he couldn’t protect her this time.

  “I know.” Her heart was heavy in her chest. “I know you mean it for the best, Aaron, but I can’t do that. Being a midwife is a gift from God. I can’t give it up without a fight.”

  “Isn’t our love a gift from God, too?” He stepped back, not attempting to touch her, and she was grateful for that.

  “Ja.” Her voice broke. “A very precious one. But not if I can only have it by giving up what I think is right.”

  His face closed. He couldn’t or wouldn’t understand, and she had no more words to explain it to him.

  “I will tell the authorities that you saved Molly and the baby by being here. I hope that will be enough.”

  She nodded, fighting to hang on to whatever was left of her composure. “Denke, Aaron,” she whispered.

  Love was over between them before it had a chance.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Sarah wasn’t sure so unlikely a group had ever gathered in Aunt Emma’s living room. She and Aunt Emma sat side by side, facing Bishop Mose and the woman lawyer. Her heart filled with gratitude for her aunt’s presence, but she couldn’t help thinking about the person whose support she longed for.

  She hadn’t seen Aaron in two days . . . not since she’d come home once the blocked roads had been cleared and Molly’s cousin had arrived to help. She probably wouldn’t be seeing him anytime soon. It was too painful.

  “Well, let’s get the worst alternative out of the way first,” the attorney said briskly. “Sarah is not going to jail.”

  Sarah let out a breath, so relieved that she was dizzy with it. Aunt Emma squeezed her hand, and Bishop Mose murmured his thanksgiving.

  “What happened? I thought . . . the police chief said—” She’d tried to resign herself to face arrest, sure that would follow her disobedience.

  “Your friend Aaron Miller was on my doorstep the moment the roads were cleared, I think.” The woman smiled. “He was very convincing. Said that if you hadn’t acted when you did, his sister and her baby might well have died. Is that true?”

  “No one could say that for sure.” She couldn’t say less than the truth. “Molly is a healthy young woman. She might have delivered without help, but I am glad she didn’t have to.”

  “It’s clear to anyone with a grain of common sense that you did the right thing,” Bishop Mose said, his tone putting him clearly on Sarah’s side. “Bad as that storm was, who knows when help would have gotten there? Not in time, ain’t so?”

  She n
odded. She’d been half-afraid that the bishop would take her to task for disobedience, but it was obvious he hadn’t considered such a thing.

  “That was the convincing argument for the judge,” Ms. Downing said. “I checked with the emergency response office and confirmed that you had called before you went anywhere near Molly Peachey. And I had a statement from the dispatcher.”

  Her smile broadened.

  “He pointed out that he had three vehicle accidents, four suspected heart attacks, a kidney dialysis patient needing care, and no way to get his rescue trucks anywhere. In his words, ‘Women have been having babies since the beginning to time without paramedics there.’ I repeated that to the judge, and I think it made an impression.”

  “Ja, it’s true.” Aunt Emma seemed to lose her awe of the attorney as she spoke. “Sarah has probably delivered far more healthy babies than that young doctor, too.”

  “Another good point.” The attorney scribbled a note on the pad in her lap. “In any event, common sense won the day. There will be no arrest, but the hearing has been moved up.” She paused. “It’s on Friday.”

  “This Friday?” Sarah managed to get the words out without sounding as panicky as she felt.

  The woman nodded. “So we have to move along.” She pulled a camera from her bag. “As I said, I’d like some photos of your birthing rooms, to show that you have a competent operation here.”

  “Ja, fine.” Sarah rose. “It’s this way.” She couldn’t prevent a flicker of fear as she led Ms. Downing to the first of the birthing rooms. Would they ever be delivering another baby here?

  “Very nice.” The lawyer glanced around, snapping pictures.

  Sarah stepped carefully out of the line of her shots. Bishop Mose and Aunt Emma had stayed behind, and she could hear the soft murmur of their voices.

  “Will you tell me something?” she asked.

  “If I can.” Ms. Downing looked at her expectantly.

  “Why did you want to come here? I’m sure you don’t visit all of your clients in their homes.”