by Marie James
“Thanks,” I mutter as I slap money down on the bar and gather the bottles of beer.
By the time I make it back to the table, I’m praising myself for not scanning the bar to find Cannon, but that doesn’t mean I’m not revved up and looking for trouble.
Cannon isn’t an option. He never will be, and if I dig down deeper than skin deep, I can say without a doubt he doesn’t interest me. My issue has more to do with my own lack of action in the last several months and the fact that he’s gorgeous and even though he says stupid shit, he can no doubt back it up.
I drop the beers off to a slew of thank yous before turning my attention back to the people milling around the bar. When my eyes land on a guy a few years older than me, and I find him looking at me with keen interest, I’ve already made up my mind.
“Don’t wait up,” I tell Grinch, garnering his attention so he can watch me head toward the guy on the other side of the bar that isn’t Cannon.
Hopefully, this will squash any doubt that I’ve got my eyes on Shadow’s son.
“Hey,” the guy says as I approach. A brilliant smile is aimed my direction, and I can admit the guy is handsome in an all-American sort of way. His khakis and button-down shirt don’t really do it for me, but I’m not here for a love connection or a fashion show.
“Wanna get out of here?”
He doesn’t bother to answer with words. He simply places his half-full beer down on the table and stands.
Chapter 10
Cannon
I was sincere when I apologized to Rivet in January. I touched her when I had no right to do so. I also shouldn’t have just said what I did at the bar either, but here we are. Those words left my mouth, and I have no way of putting them back in.
She doesn’t punch me in the nose or tell me to fuck off. From the way her mouth is hanging open, I don’t know that her brain has processed what I even said.
She’s hot as hell tonight in her normal uniform of tight jeans, combat boots, and dark colored Henley, but she’s also wearing her Cerberus cut, something I haven’t seen on her yet since they only wear them outside of the clubhouse. My eyes drift to the RIVET patch situated right about her left breast, but it doesn’t stay there long. I’ve already disrespected her twice. I don’t want to make it a third time.
I take a drink and walk away before she can reject me again. My pride can only take so many hits, and it’s going to take another massive one tomorrow when I have to apologize once again.
I wasn’t surrounded by my friends. I wasn’t being watched and analyzed or trying to make anyone laugh. That’s why I said it in a serious tone. At the time, I didn’t want to leave any room for doubt, and my normally joking demeanor didn’t have a place in that conversation.
Yet, as I walk away, I remember that Rivet isn’t some girl I can hook up with and ignore. She isn’t a college coed looking for a good time. She’s my father’s employee. She’s going to be around. If we sleep together, if she’s crazy enough to let that happen, she won’t disappear into the long list of girls I spent time with. She’ll be there, in the clubhouse, at the pool in the backyard.
It hits me like a ton of bricks as I make my way across the bar to rejoin my friends. Going after Rivet, no matter how bad I want to slide inside of her, is a stupid thing to pursue. There’s no clean easy break when she’s living less than the length of a football field from my own bed.
“How’s the soda?” Samson asks as he takes a long pull from his beer.
“Leave him alone.” Camryn bumps her shoulder into his. She’s the oldest one at the table, but the one who gives me the least shit about being the youngest one in the group.
“He’ll get to drink legally next week,” Ivy adds. She’s old enough to drink, but she’s sticking to bottled water tonight.
“Oh, that’s right,” Samson says. “Any thoughts on what you want? We could have a huge blowout here.”
“I’d prefer something low-key.”
Everyone at the table stares at me. Even Delilah pulls her mouth from Lawson long enough to gawk at me.
“Low-key?” Griffin says, confused. “Who are you and what did you do with my brother?”
Shaking my head, I place my glass of soda down on the table. Do they really care? Do they want to know that being the fun guy is exhausting, and it really doesn’t appeal to me anymore? At least it doesn’t on the level that it did before. I can’t change my personality. My go-to reaction is always to make people laugh, smile, and shake their heads at my ridiculousness, but having the option of being serious and not getting stared at like I’ve grown a second head, like what’s happening right this very moment, would be nice, too.
“Low-key as in only two strippers instead of five?” Samson asks. Camryn promptly smacks his chest with the back of her hand. He rubs at the spot like she really hurt him, but she’s watching me, not paying attention to the pout on his lips.
“No strippers,” I tell him.
“Not even one?” Lawson clarifies. “Someone, check him for a fever.”
“I don’t have a fever,” I grumble.
“They’re having a sale,” Lawson adds with a smile.
“Strippers go on sale?” Griffin says with an incredulous look on his face.
“How do you know that?” Delilah snaps, but there’s humor in her voice.
“I was checking things out for Samson’s bachelor party,” Lawson says addressing his wife first before looking at Griffin. “That new place right off the highway is opening so they’re offering discounts for people who book early.”
“I don’t want strippers either,” Samson says just as his fiancée says, “Not a damn chance.”
“What?” Lawson looks around the table, but every one of us knows he isn’t serious. “Those girls are just dancing their way through medical school.”
“You sound like Cannon now,” Griffin chuckles.
That stings a little.
Camryn huffs. “I went to medical school and didn’t meet a single girl who had to strip to be there.”
“Maybe they didn’t tell you because they were afraid you’d judge them.”
Camryn rolls her eyes at Samson. “Now you’re siding with Lawson?”
“No.” He jerks his head back comically fast, as if he knows disagreeing with her will lead to issues later, probably of the sleep on the couch and don’t touch me variety. “It was a joke, babe.”
Camryn tries to shove Samson away when he attempts to cuddle her, but she’s smiling the entire time.
“So, it’s decided,” Delilah begins. “No strippers for Cannon’s party and no strippers for Samson’s bachelor party.”
“Where’s Gigi and Hound?” Camryn asks, and just like that the conversation switches gears.
“She’s at home with Amelia. The baby isn’t feeling well,” Ivy answers.
The girls start talking about babies, all except Camryn, and none of the guys seem freaked out about it. Lawson holds Delilah tight, and Griffin stares at Ivy, a smile that was gone for so long back on his face.
“So, no big party?” Samson asks in my direction as the girls chatter.
The band left the stage a few minutes ago, and it’s easier to hear with only the jukebox playing.
“Nah.”
“Something at the clubhouse?”
“That actually sounds perfect,” I agree.
“We have to see if it’s okay with the guys. I don’t think we should keep invading their space,” Griffin interrupts.
“We could always have it poolside. That’s what’s so great about summer birthdays.”
They both nod at me.
“We could barbeque. Maybe invite a few friends over?”
I shake my head at Samson’s suggestion.
“Really?”
“Low-key,” I remind him. “Close friends, family, and Cerberus.”
I’m not going to exclude those guys. The team members have always been welcome to every event we’ve ever had on the property. We’ve even spent C
hristmas morning at the clubhouse as kids, all of us circled around the tree while gifts were handed out. Those guys have been a part of our family for as long as I can remember, and they’re never excluded.
It’s another reason trying anything further with Rivet would be a mistake. Not only would it be awkward but seeing each other after the deed was done just spells bad news for everyone involved.
“Okay,” Samson says, and then he looks like he’s lost in thought. “But we need something that makes it special. It’s your twenty-first after all.”
Griffin turns to me, his hand still splayed possessively on Ivy’s thigh. “You sure you want to spend the first night you can legally drink at the clubhouse?”
“Yeah.” I shrug. “Why wouldn’t I? It’s just another birthday, not really a big deal.”
“Last year you wanted us to rent the ballroom at the Hilton,” Samson reminds me.
I grin. “And look at how disappointing that turned out. We ended up at the Hampton Inn.”
“Owned by Hilton,” Samson qualifies.
I shake my head, my eyes catching sight of the Cerberus guys on the far side of the bar. They’ve thinned out, and it’s easy to see that Rivet is no longer with their group.
“She left with a townie shortly after you came back with your drink,” Griffin says, catching me searching for her.
I don’t acknowledge his words. The last thing I need is them seeing me get irritated about a woman I have no claim over. So she left with someone. It’s no big deal. I have that very same option as well, but even as I think that, I know there isn’t a chick in this bar that could hold my attention tonight.
Several came up to me earlier. The shirt I’m wearing made the perfect conversation starter, but just like always, they keep their distance once we settle into our little group. People at Jake’s also don’t mess with Cerberus when they’re here, as if there’s some unspoken rule about approaching their table. It doesn’t happen often, but when it does, it’s usually by someone from out of town that doesn’t know the rules.
Knowing that means Rivet went seeking and found someone to leave with. No man in this place would be brave enough to approach a table full of rough-looking bikers to hit on the only chick with them. They’d make assumptions and keep their distance.
She picked someone, and she left with him.
That stings a little, too.
I try to stay interested in the conversation when Lawson and Griffin begin talking about apartments and Griffin’s thoughts on joining Cerberus, but I find it nearly impossible.
I say my goodbyes, but they all seem a little too wrapped up in various conversations to care.
On the drive home, I waver between busting into her room at the clubhouse and just letting it go.
The sight of her bike in the parking lot makes up my mind for me. She isn’t the type to sleep with a man that would ride bitch on her bike and there aren’t any other unfamiliar vehicles in the lot which means she came home alone. Doesn’t mean she didn’t take care of business in the parking lot. I’m well aware how easy it is to squeeze in a quickie there without getting caught.
I take the long way to my house, around the outside of the main building and make a vow to avoid her at all costs from now on. Whatever little infatuation I had for her needs to simmer down and disappear.
Chapter 11
Rivet
My ears pop as the jet begins to descend over New Mexico. We’ve been gone less than a week, but it still feels like I’ve been on my feet for months. The nearly eighteen-hour trip back from Helsinki has been long enough to sleep but being stationary for hours on end is worse than running in full gear through the snow. My body aches in the worst way, and if I sit here much longer, I’m going to be in traction.
Everyone has had the chance to get some rest, and most of the guys are excited to be home, especially since it’s only nine at night. They still have time to drop their gear and head out. It doesn’t really matter that it’s Wednesday. Most of the guys probably already have someone lined up to visit the clubhouse for a couple of hours of unwinding.
How easy it must be to have a penis. I tried last week with that guy, Shane. He told me his name outside of the bar, like the question had come from my own lips. That was the first red flag.
The second came when he offered to take me to dinner before heading back to his place. I declined of course. I wasn’t after dinner, and he very well knew it. Hell, I walked up to him and asked him to leave without so much as a smile. I was a sure thing at that point.
But the final flag, the one that led me to jump on my bike and haul ass out of there came when he looked sheepishly at my motorcycle. I wasn’t offering him a ride, and I told him as much, but then he pulled the keys to his minivan out of his pocket.
I didn’t really judge him about that either, but the car seats in the back and the fuzzy pink steering wheel cover threw me for a loop. Only then did I glance down at his damn hand, and sure enough, a gold wedding band was on his ring finger.
I didn’t even say a word. I spun around and left. I did something to make karma come after me so hard, and I don’t have a clue what it was.
Hound, our team leader, stands and walks to the front of the plane after we land.
“I know you guys are excited to be home. The last couple of days in Finland were shit. I heard a couple of you mention calling some chicks back to the clubhouse, and you know I’m normally not one to keep you from having fun, but we’re back a day early.”
“What’s the point?” Jinx asks. “No chicks on Wednesday. Is this a new rule?”
Hound ignores him. “There’s a birthday party going on, and I’ve been asked to let you know that you’re always more than welcome to hang around and have a good time, but no one outside of Cerberus is allowed there tonight.”
A few guys in the back groan, but I can’t help but smile. A night without moans coming from the other rooms and invading my space will be awesome.
“The night’s still young,” Hound continues. “Feel free to take your lonely dicks elsewhere.”
He doesn’t look at me when he says those words, and for that I’m grateful. A few months ago, he would’ve cringed at saying that in front of me. It happened more than once, and on several occasions, I would see the guys start to say something and stop, reassessing their words before continuing. I hate when they think they can’t be themselves around me. Well, that only lasted like six weeks. There’s just something about risking your life with a group of people that makes them loosen up rather quickly.
***
The clubhouse is quieter than I expect when we arrive.
Music is playing, but at a low volume as people I’m familiar with mingle around. A HAPPY BIRTHDAY banner is hung on the far wall. A table is set up on the far side of the room with drinks and even a punch bowl.
Is it Kid’s son’s birthday? I figured it was one of the older guys’ birthdays but this is so low-key it’s ridiculous. It’s more like a family birthday for a grandmother or something.
I look over toward the sofas and see Cannon wearing a stupid paper crown that reads IT’S MY BIRTHDAY on the front.
From our conversation at the bar, I can surmise that he’s finally twenty-one today.
He doesn’t look my way, either too caught up in conversation with Lawson or no longer interested. The rest of the guys don’t even bother stowing their gear in their rooms. They drop their bags near the door and join the calm celebration.
Misty offers me a drink, and I’m glad to see it’s a beer.
“Thanks,” I tell her, wondering if she caught me looking at her son. “I’m also going to need something stronger.”
“Bar’s open.” She points to the far side of the room where Kincaid is tending the bar.
I thank her again before carrying my gear to my room, refusing to act like a hooligan like the other guys.
“How was the trip?” Kincaid asks when I make it back out to the living area.
“Eye-opening
,” I tell him, knowing he already has all the details.
What he’s really asking is if I’m okay with the close call I had back in Finland. My foot hit a trip wire in the old building we were entering, but I stopped in time before it pulled the pin on the grenade. I got lucky, but the bottom line is, I should’ve been paying more attention, moving slower, keeping my eyes open.
“So, no more issues?” He waves his hand over the bottles, stopping when I point to the tequila.
He doesn’t reach for a shot glass. He pulls a rocks glass and pours two fingers of Patron. He knows I’m going to need a little help after what happened.
“No, sir,” I answer as he hands over the glass.
“Sounds good.” He gives me a quick smile before peering over my shoulder at Jinx who’s waiting next in line, and just like that the issue is resolved and I’m excused.
He doesn’t have to beat me up over my mistake. He’s well aware that I’m doing that enough on my own.
As if I’m new all over again, I stand to the side and just watch as everyone laughs and chats. I keep my eyes moving, not settling on one person for too long, all in a bid to make sure no one knows that I’m actually watching Cannon.
I’m not the only one watching him either. I spot a girl, not much younger than me, which would put her right at Cannon’s age, staring at him from across the room. She’s the only one in the room I don’t recognize, but she’s talking to Hound’s older daughter Izzy like they’ve known each other forever.
“That’s Sophia,” Grinch whispers in my ear as he takes a spot beside me.
I ignore him, turning my glass up to my lips and nearly draining the entire thing.
“I’m fairly certain she’s a little obsessed with the birthday boy.” I can hear the teasing in his voice without even looking over at him. “Watch her trying to build up the courage to go talk to him.”
I remain silent.
“The way she’s watching him is exactly the same way Ivy used to watch Griffin.”