by Marie James
Unbidden, my eyes snap to Ivy and Griffin on the sofa across from Cannon. Those two are in their own little world. She has her nose buried in his neck, and he’s whispering something in her ear that makes her cheeks heat and flush. The love they have for each other is so thick around them, I can almost feel it like a tangible thing from where I’m standing.
“I don’t know why he hasn’t noticed her obsession with him,” Grinch continues like we’re actually having a two-sided conversation. “She’s hot as fuck. All that blond hair.”
He grunts, and it makes me look over at him.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I hiss. “She’s a damn child.”
“She’s twenty-one, same age as your boy.”
“He’s not my boy,” I snap. “And you’re fucking too old for her.”
“I’m only thirty-four, but that’s not the point. I would never go after a girl involved in this club. She’s Dominic’s daughter, home from school abroad for the summer. Not only would going after any of them be career suicide, but these young things around here don’t even appeal to me.”
I want to argue with and remind him of the twenty-five-year-old he bagged at the bar the first time I went there with the guys, but that’s not really the point of this conversation.
I lift my glass again, draining the entire thing, swallowing the burning liquid with a hiss.
“I’m not interested in Cannon either. You’re making this a bigger deal than it is, and frankly it’s starting to piss me off. There’s nothing going on, nor will there ever be.”
He grins at me, his smile so perceptive it makes me want to throat punch him.
“Have another one of those and then tell me where your head is at.” Grinch motions at the empty glass in my hand before walking away.
During our heated conversation, Sophia must’ve found her backbone because she’s now sitting on the sofa near Cannon. He smiles at her, chatting and drawing her into the conversation. She looks ecstatic, hungry for more than just a little attention in front of the group.
I’m still staring like an idiot when there’s a break in their conversation. As he lifts a beer to his lips, his eyes find mine. Unlike when I first walked in and he didn’t notice me, I have his full attention now. His eyes sweep the length of my body, and suddenly I think I’m wearing way too much.
His shirt, a V-neck tee, says NO ONE KNOWS I’M A LESBIAN in bright orange letters, and it makes me smile. My job is so serious. It works for me because I’ve always been a little intense, but for some reason this guy is like a breath of fresh air. What I thought would drive me crazy when I found out he was Shadow’s son and wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon has somehow transitioned into an endearing quality. He brings a certain level of levity to my life, even if it’s just watching him from across the room, and I find that I need that sort of thing, especially after my near-death experience in Finland.
But, he’s with his friends, the girl on his side gazing up at him like he hung the damn moon, and he’s still Shadow’s son, still off-limits. I resolve myself to agreeing that he’s forbidden, and that’s the only reason I’m irritated. It has nothing to do with Sophia when she tilts her head back, laughing like he just told the funniest joke, because that would be jealousy and I don’t do jealousy. Besides, he isn’t even paying attention to her. His eyes are still pinned to me, a challenge burning deep that I’d be a fool to accept.
So, I grab another glass of tequila and head to my room. I’ll make better decisions tomorrow.
The shower doesn’t help rid my mind of thoughts of him.
The shower doesn’t weaken the tequila in my system. My empty stomach makes sure of that.
The tequila doesn’t keep me from making plans when I hear someone tell him goodnight as the door next to mine opens and closes. The first voice was Jinx’s, the second was Cannon’s, and the room next to mine is normally empty. My brain is firing enough to know that the man I can’t stop thinking about is right next door, but my brain doesn’t kick out the idea of going over there.
No, my tequila riddled brain thinks it’s the perfect fucking idea.
Chapter 12
Cannon
Tonight was perfect and exactly what I had envisioned for my birthday. I’m officially twenty-one and I’ve had just enough alcohol to make me feel like a king. I’m in that incredible state of awesomeness, right where I’m happily buzzed but not so drunk that I’m going to end up ralphing on the floor or waking up with a pounding headache.
“Perfect,” I grumble to myself as I strip down to my boxer briefs and climb into the empty bed. It sucks that it’s empty, but I made up my mind last week about Rivet. It didn’t keep my eyes off her perfect body this evening but checking her out isn’t against the law.
I don’t have a clue what time it is, but I know it’s too late to be rocking up to my parents’ house, so the decision to stay in one of the spare bedrooms at the clubhouse was an easy one to make. I could’ve stayed up later, had a few more drinks, but everyone else started to split. First, Max and Jasmine ducked out as soon as Tug got home with the others. Then Samson made some stupid excuse, but I didn’t miss the filthy way he was watching Camryn while she was talking to Emmalyn and Mom.
Before long, Griffin was standing, not minutes after, Lawson and Delilah beat feet back to their dads’ house, saying he had an early morning. That left Sophia and Izzy, and I like the girls well enough but not enough to keep hanging out with them in the clubhouse alone. Sophia is a little too intense for that sort of thing, so I told the remaining Cerberus guys goodnight and came in here.
I want to go to sleep. I want to stop my brain, blank my thoughts, and fall asleep, but it doesn’t seem like an item on the agenda as I stare up at the shadows the moon is casting over the ceiling.
Rivet is near, somewhere down the hall, only a handful of yards away, and that makes it impossible to think of anything else. I don’t know which room is hers and thank fuck for that because I’ve got just enough alcohol in my system to go to her, but not quite enough to knock on every damn door in the hallway until I find her.
I guess luck is on my side tonight, or not, depending how you want to look at it.
I don’t know how long I stare at the ceiling, willing my cock to stay at half-mast rather than thickening to a full-on erection because I don’t have the energy to take care of it right now, but eventually my eyes close.
I’m skating right on the cusp of sleep, where everything fades to nothingness, when the doorknob twists and the door slowly opens.
My mouth is open, ready to tell whoever plans to use this room that I’m in here. I should’ve locked the damn door, knowing this could happen. But it isn’t one of the guys bringing a girl back that he doesn’t want to bone down in his own room. Nope. It’s not a guy at all I notice as the light from the hallway slices through the room illuminating my face.
Rivet stands in the doorway, her eyes locked on mine, and there’s a recognizable hunger on her face. The erection I was willing to go away stands up, tenting the covers before she even steps inside and closes the door behind her.
She’s no longer in her tight jeans and familiar Henley, and the sight of her toned legs just below the hem of a no-nonsense robe is everything I’ve dreamed of. That’s not true. I’ve seen so little of her body, that even in my fantasies she’s usually fully dressed.
“Hey,” I whisper, thinking that speaking too loudly will make her somehow disappear.
She doesn’t say a word as she crosses the room. Her eyes rake down my bare chest, and the sheet around my waist lifts even higher as my cock jolts, as if seeking out her touch.
My mouth is dry, my tongue becoming sandpaper as she holds up a foil packet. Moonlight from the window makes it sparkle like the pot of gold at the end of a very erotic rainbow.
“Yeah?” I watch her eyes, not having a clue what I’m searching for, but when she licks her perfect lips, I know I’m game for whatever she has in mind.
With a quick
flick of my wrist, I toss back the sheets, revealing the length of my body to her.
“As much as I want this to happen, as many times as I’ve dreamed about being inside of you, you’re still going to have to take it if you want it.”
She doesn’t hesitate, letting her eyes pause over the stretch of my boxer briefs, my cock beneath dripping with eager anticipation.
With sure hands, Rivet pulls down the waistband of my boxers, and my cock springs free, ready and willing for whatever she has in mind. Expert fingers wrap around my shaft, stroking it once, and her breath hitches audibly when her fingers skate over the titanium ring at the head. Although the healing time was a bitch, the reverse Prince Albert piercing was the best decision I ever made.
She doesn’t tease me any longer, and within seconds my cock is sheathed in latex and she’s crawling on the bed to straddle me.
My fingers itch, legitimately tingle to grab her hips and flip her to her back. Control isn’t something I ever relinquish in the bedroom, but my fear of her walking away before the tightness of her body engulfs me keeps me flat on my back and willing to take whatever she plans to give.
There’s no foreplay, no sensual touches or sweet words. She doesn’t say a thing as she pulls apart the bottom sides of her robe and lines my dick up at her entrance. There’s no fanfare or grand claims as she lowers her body, taking me to the hilt in one slick glide.
“Fuuuck,” I groan, the single word coming out in a long slow hiss of pleasure. “Jesus, you’re wet.”
And she smells fucking perfect, the natural scent of her pussy humid and filling the air around us. She didn’t use artificial lubricants before coming in here. The slick heat of her body is all her. She’s aroused and wanton, needy and willing to take her own pleasure.
I grip the sheets when her hips swivel, grinding down on me and using that piercing to her advantage. She still doesn’t speak, but each and every low moan and gasp that she allows to erupt from her mouth brings me closer to the edge.
When she repositions her body, placing one hand flat at the top of my abs so she can flex her hips up and down, I cherish the warmth of her fingers as they curve and mold to my body.
“Jesus, that’s it,” I pant, my fingers still tangled in the sheet. “Goddammit.”
Her head is thrown back, the long column of her neck just begging to be licked, sucked, and bitten, but I hold fast, keeping my hands to myself until it becomes inconceivable, until I can no longer resist the tightness of her muscles as her body works me over.
Her thighs shake and quiver under my touch as I drag my hands up her working thighs, aiming for the tie of her robe. I’m seconds away from revealing every inch of her when her hand stops mine. She doesn’t look down at me, but she awards me a consolation prize as she pulls apart the top of her robe, revealing her perfect tits. My mouth waters like a man dying of thirst at the sight of them, but I don’t reach for her, again, knowing somehow that she’ll put an end to this entire encounter if I do.
I have to settle for the sight of her tits bouncing and the tiny triangle of flesh revealed by the open pull of her robe. Her bare pussy is barely visible in the moonlight, but I know exactly where to touch her because that sweet spot demanding my attention is mere inches above where she’s taking me, rocking my world, and making me insane with bliss.
Licking my thumb and wishing it was her flesh instead, I reach down and sweep it over her clit. Only now do I elicit her full attention. Her eyes sweep down to me, hand still splayed over my abs, and her movements double, taking my cock harder and faster as she rides the delight my touch is providing.
“There you are.” I try to smile up at her, but my mouth merely manages to hang open because motherfucker, she’s going to make me come.
She must be a mind reader, or there’s some sort of look on my face predicting my end because she grips my stomach, the blunt tips of her fingernails digging into my skin and groans, low and deep in her chest.
That’s it.
I’m done.
My cock jerks, my hips jolting upward of their own volition as I erupt. The move must be exactly what she needed because she rolls her lips between her teeth and explodes, her body gripping my orgasming cock rhythmically.
It’s the best thing that has ever happened to me. Without a doubt the strongest orgasm of my life and it lasts for what seems like hours.
Cold chills pebble her skin, the tips of her breasts growing rigid and begging for my mouth, but she doesn’t allow it. Before I can lean up and wrap my lips, mouth, and tongue around the tempting peak, she’s climbing off of me.
“You okay there?” I ask, not bothering to hide the egotistical tone in my voice when she struggles to stand up straight.
I know what I just did to her. There was no way for her to hide her pleasure from me. She came like a woman undone, and I know had we been somewhere private, she would’ve moaned and screamed my name. Biting her lips was merely a measure to keep everyone in the clubhouse from knowing what we were doing in here.
She never turns. She doesn’t throw a wink over her shoulder or even call me an asshole for joking about her unsteady legs after she climbed off the bed. She doesn’t even glance at me as she reties her robe and walks out of the room.
She didn’t say a word, didn’t hardly look at me, and as I climb off the bed, dispose of the condom and clean up, I have to wonder if it really even happened at all.
Chapter 13
Rivet
I’m no stranger to mistakes. On any given day, I’ll be the first one to step up and admit I fucked up. Today is no different.
Waking up in my room, still a little tender from what I put my body through last night, the second I open my eyes, I know I messed up. Only there isn’t anyone to confess that sin to. There’s no need for absolution. No need for anyone to know what happened.
But they will. I’m as sure of it as I am that last night was the best sex of my life. A realization I’m still trying to wrap my head around.
When my body was thrumming for him, singing and begging me to go to the room next door, I didn’t consider the fallout. I didn’t think of the consequences, even knowing what I do about Cannon’s personality. He isn’t the type to conquer and not let the world know about his latest acquisition. He won’t keep his mouth shut. My secrets aren’t his to maintain, and that’s where the trouble lies.
Everyone will know, and it’s not just the taunting and teasing from the guys I’ll be forced to endure. His dad will know. Every one of the original Cerberus members will be privileged to the information because there are no secrets around here. Gossip spreads like wildfire, most of the information flowing from Grinch’s mouth into the ears of anyone willing to listen.
They could lose all respect for me. Jinx could easily decide that keeping his distance is no longer something he should have to do. My night with Cannon opens the door for all the guys around here to think it’s open season on a chance to fuck me. I’ve seen it before with female Marines who give into base urges and sleep with a guy in their unit. They become the team slut. The one everyone wants a turn with when the guys’ other options are limited. Sexual freedom isn’t really a thing when the dynamic changes with a group of men in combat and scary situations. Sex is an outlet, a way to come down after enduring harrowing circumstances. If the guys know I’ve fucked someone connected to the club, they may want the same from me when we’re strung out from a mission. At worst, they will tease me incessantly like they do each other when the guys talk about their own conquests and sexual frustrations.
The teasing I can handle. It’s not knowing what will happen when Shadow finds out that keeps me in my bed long after morning fades into midday. The fear of being handed my walking papers after only a handful of months working for Cerberus keeps me locked in place, that and knowing I’ve been lying here awake for hours and I haven’t heard the bedroom door next to mine open and close indicating Cannon has left.
It’s that knowledge that makes me bolt up from the be
d and hover by the door, waiting to catch him before he spills his guts to my team members.
But after what seems like hours of waiting, when that door does open and close, I can’t seem to pull mine open to stop him. Facing him after what happened is the very last thing I want to put myself through. Maybe getting the boot from Cerberus won’t be so bad after all.
Thoughts of leaving Cerberus lead to thoughts of Bishop and his lack of contact over the last couple of weeks, and before I can change my mind, the hallway goes silent, Cannon’s footsteps fading to nothing.
Anxiety increases, making my palms sweat as I flop back down on my bed and pick up my phone. Needing my best friend, I do something I seldom do. I find Bishop’s name in my contact list and press the button to call him. Just as I suspected, his voicemail picks up before the phone even has the chance to ring. He’s still dark, still unable to have his cell phone on him. I knew it was going to happen. He always calls when he’s back, but his command to leave a message in my ear still hits me in a way that makes me want to throw my own phone across the room.
I don’t leave a message. I never have in the past, and honestly what was I going to tell him? Was I really willing to confess sleeping with the boss’s son to a man that has made it clear more than once that he’d like a repeat of our night in Bahrain?
Not very likely, but if he had picked up, he would’ve eventually gotten the info out of me. He’s an expert at figuring me out and has been since we first met. Calling him was stupid, and I grow glad that he didn’t answer.
It’s been twenty minutes since Cannon left the room next door—long enough for him to tell everyone about our night and be gone. Since my stomach is pissed, having not eaten for so long, I know I have to face the firing squad. I won’t lie if directly asked. I’m not the type. It’s with resolve in my bones that I get dressed and leave my room.
I falter at the entrance to the kitchen when I find that I clearly didn’t give Cannon enough time to leave. He’s standing near the coffee pot, cup in hand, as he talks to Grinch. I can imagine what he’s saying to my team member. We all know that Grinch is the one to go to if you want information spread rapidly, but I refuse to turn around and leave. What’s done is done and there’s no way to avoid the consequences.