This Wedding is Doomed!

by Stephanie Draven

  “I was just wondering if you liked crows or doves best.” He tapped his lip thoughtfully. “You look like a crow person.”

  “I get it. You found lots of birds and hid them everywhere. Hard to believe that you had enough time, but I’ll accept that you had a good time dusting strange fowl.” She needed to get him busy again, but it would have to be something different. Irresistible. According to her schedule, she needed to prepare the bridal party for pictures. “How old are you anyway? Twelve?”

  “A little more than twice that.”

  “I suppose you are like two twelve-year-olds with all the trouble you make.” She scrunched her nose as she looked down her list of what she should be doing instead of standing here with him. But this was the guy who had wreaked havoc on all his cousins’ weddings.

  “I have my reasons.”

  She glanced up at his crooked smile. “Whatever lets you sleep at night.”

  A text from Stacey buzzed her phone. Photographer’s here.

  He craned his neck to see her screen. “Did the butterflies die?”

  It was a good thing he was almost cute in his mockery.

  “No.” Stashing her phone before he could read the text, she said, “Maintenance just letting me know that they shut off the sprinklers to the lawn, so we should have a dry wedding.”

  “That’s good.” He didn’t make any move that would suggest he would go for it, but how could he not? Sprinklers at a lawn wedding was some brilliant stuff. A guy like him couldn’t resist such an easy way to ruin a wedding. Which is why the groom had insisted on having them shut off.

  “You won’t tell me where the birds are, will you?”

  “Maybe . . .” He glanced at her lips and smiled.

  “My guess is the price will be too high.”

  “Depends on which bird you’d like to find.”

  “I wish I could spend all day haggling with you over stuffed birds, but I have other things that require my attention.” She raised her eyebrow. If she was going to manage to get any real work done, she couldn’t let him tag along. “Can I count on you to behave for a few minutes while I do my thing?”

  “Probably not.”

  All she could hope for was that he’d go for her wild-goose chase again. The possibility of him actually succeeding at ruining the wedding before the guests arrived would be fairly low. “That’s what I thought, but I guess someone has to cry uncle sometime.”

  “Not exactly what I was hoping you’d cry out. Maybe ‘you sexy beast, you.’”

  She rolled her eyes and headed toward the back entrance. As she rounded the corner, she called back, “Behave.”

  Chapter Three

  Like hell, Seth was going to behave. He had to admit, Julie had gotten to him with the poor, overworked pretty woman trick with the butterflies. He’d never imagined she’d have a devious side. It made him like her more. He wouldn’t underestimate her again and he definitely wasn’t going on some goose chase to find nonexistent sprinklers. She had thrown down the gauntlet with the butterflies. The birds were just the beginning. Now he needed to find something epic.

  He started humming “Kiss” by Prince. As he passed by the kitchen door, dragging noises interrupted his tune, followed by a grunt from the other side of a stainless steel table.

  “Hello?” Seth rounded the table.

  A woman in a white uniform struggled with a case of champagne. “Sorry, didn’t hear you come in. Don’t suppose you can help me get these chilled?”

  Without his suit jacket, he blended in with the white button-downs and black pants of the waitstaff. Seth picked up the box. “Point me to the fridge.”

  The woman pulled out one of the bottles. “These were supposed to be left in the cellar to keep them cool, so it would take less time in the refrigerator.”

  He hitched the box up higher. “The freezer would cool them fast.”

  And had the potential to create just the chaos he needed for this wedding.

  An irritated voice from another room shouted, “We need those napkins.”

  The woman stood undecided for a moment. “I don’t think we should put them in the freezer.”

  “Now!” shouted the voice.

  “Go ahead.” Seth nodded toward the door. “I’ll take care of these.”

  She nodded and pointed. “The refrigerator is back there.”

  She hurried out before the voice could call again. While the refrigerator would probably cool the champagne, the freezer would cool it faster. He’d left a bottle in the freezer for a week and when it didn’t explode, he uncorked it and had some champagne slushie. Nothing said romance more than a champagne slushie.

  If he got lucky, Julie would be too busy looking for the birds and wouldn’t see this one coming. He chuckled as he thought of Julie’s expression when the bottles were opened and instead of bubbly, out poured an ICEE. As much fun as it was to taunt her, the look on her face would be priceless.

  ***

  4 hours until ceremony

  “How’s the bride?” Julie swept into the bridal suite.

  “It fits.” Tessa turned with a tentative smile. The wedding dress did fit her perfectly. The A-line skirt was smooth and wrinkle-free with just the right amount of sparkle on the empire waistline to match the sparkle in the bride’s eyes.

  “You look gorgeous. The photographer is waiting in the hall to take some pictures.” Julie noticed the mother of the bride over by the window. What she didn’t notice was the maid of honor. “Where’s Renata?”

  “She went to get coffee a while ago,” Tessa said. She had that nervous look that some brides had when the wedding was pulled together quickly. Like a deer caught in headlights.

  The mother also had a strange look on her face. Probably just worried, too. It was rare that everything lined up exactly right. But Julie did her best.

  “Don’t worry. I’ll find her and send her up,” she assured Tessa. “Meanwhile the photographer can get some shots of you and your mother.”

  As the photographer came in, Julie shook out the train of Tessa’s dress.

  “I’m so glad you’re here, Julie.” Tessa grabbed her hand. “I don’t know how we’d do it without you.”

  Julie stood a little straighter and smiled. “Thank you.”

  That was what made this all worth it. The bride was able to relax while Julie stressed over the details of the wedding . . . like the missing maid of honor.

  As Julie started down the stairs, out of the corner of her eye she saw a stuffed snowy owl sitting on a shelf overlooking the entryway. Seth Downing. Him and those stupid birds. While she didn’t appreciate him trying to “make something go wrong,” she had to admit it was kind of clever. Unsupervised, he could be getting into anything at this point. It was worse than having a toddler running amok. Except . . . he wasn’t a toddler. He was a very distractingly handsome man.

  She regarded the owl. It was within her reach. She could put it in the upstairs linen closet . . . She shrugged and smiled a little. It wasn’t hurting anything where it was. In fact, the owl looked like it belonged. She doubted anyone but her would even notice it with it there. Besides, she had bigger issues to deal with.

  ***

  In the reception hall, Seth picked up the card with Aunt Bea’s name on it. Someone had put her right next to him. A headache he didn’t need today. Why hadn’t he settled down? Isn’t there anyone special? Didn’t he want children?

  Surely there was a better candidate to talk to during the stuffy dinner part of the evening who wouldn’t question him about his life choices.

  He walked over to the table closest to the gifts. If he knew his aunt, she’d love that. All the better to slip one into her oversized purse. He picked up a card, but before he could exchange it, the door opened.

  “Stop right there,” a familiar voice said.

  With his h
ands up in the air, he turned to see Julie in her pristine purple suit with a frown on her perfect pink lips and flashed her his most mischievous grin. “It’s not like I’m robbing the joint. Just fixing your seating arrangement.”

  She strode forward and swiped the card out of his hand. Then, as if she knew the seating chart by heart, she put them back where they belonged.

  “I was just trying to help.” He tried to sound sincere. “After all, if Aunt Bea doesn’t think the meal is up to her standard, she’s going to want to take back her gift and maybe a few extras for the effort it took for her to get out here.”

  She glared at him with her hands on her hips. “What else did you switch?”

  “I didn’t get that far.” He held his hands up in innocence but winked at her for good measure. “You can check my pockets if you want.”

  Her gaze swept over the room and settled on the little stuffed wren on the gift table. “I get it. You’re Mr. Funny. Desperate for attention and recognition. If I admit that you are the Master of Chaos, will you please go out to the lawn and wait for the wedding to start?”

  Her exasperation made his smile even wider.

  “Where’s the fun in that?” He picked up another name card and walked to another table.

  She charged up to him and snatched the card out of his hand, but she didn’t back away. Her blue eyes sparkled in the sunlight coming through the windows. Her voice was low when she began to speak. A strand of hair made an escape attempt from her bun. “Do you have any idea what goes into preparing the seating arrangement? How many hours it took to make it perfect?”

  It took everything he had not to brush the tendril of hair back from her eyes. “I imagine it took a while just to write these names. When did you learn calligraphy? Because this handwriting is exquisite. How much would you charge to come over at Christmas and write all my gift tags?”

  Her eyes narrowed on him. Just when he thought she was really going to let him have it, she stopped and took a deep shaky breath. Smoothing back her hair, she even managed a tight smile. “Mr. Downing—”

  “It’s Seth, and admit it. You are enjoying this as much as I am.”

  Her smile softened. “I admit you are clever and I’ve enjoyed trying to thwart you. I’m sure it would have been an epic battle to the death. But I’m a grown woman with responsibilities to the bride. So now I have to concede and offer a truce, because I have more important things to do.”

  His brows knit together. “What happened?”

  “Have you seen Renata, the maid of honor?”

  “Last night at the rehearsal dinner. If she’s blaming something on me, I didn’t do it.”

  Julie sighed and rubbed the bridge of her nose. “She’s missing.”

  “I definitely didn’t do that.”

  She raised an eyebrow. “If you see her, could you send her to the bridal suite? I have to get going. Please just go back out to the lawn with the other ushers.”

  She hesitated as if she had more to say. But then turned and started toward the door.

  Unguarded, he could make sure that any number of things were set and ready to spring out at the most inappropriate times. He looked at her retreating form and sighed. “Wait!”

  If she could use his help, he wanted to be there for her. He caught up with her. “You wanted a truce? Maybe I can help?”

  She stopped. “Help? You? What, so you can mess this up, too?”

  “I’m actually a very responsible person in real life. You know . . . lawyer and all that.” He reached toward her, but didn’t touch her. “I want to help.”

  Eyeing him skeptically, she said, “You could stop pulling pranks or whatever it is you do for starters.”

  Small price to pay for spending more time with Julie. “Done.” He straightened. “What else?”

  “Honestly?” She waited for his nod before she continued, “If you’d just go out to the garden with the rest of the guests, I’d know you weren’t getting into trouble. That would be a major help.”

  He gave her his best grin. “Or . . . I could help you search. What better way to make sure I’m not doing something diabolical behind your back?”

  She glanced at her phone and slipped it into her jacket pocket. When she looked up at him through her lashes, his pulse quickened. Her small smile was all the encouragement he needed.

  “As long as you don’t get in the way . . .” she said before muttering, “I’m going to regret this.”

  Chapter Four

  Julie had spent the past two years of her life creating a reputation for perfect weddings. Crisis aversion had become her specialty. When most of a wedding party got food poisoning at the rehearsal dinner, she helped make it work with some tea and mints and kept them from looking overly pale in the photos. When alterations on bridesmaids’ dresses had gone wrong, the whole morning had been devoted to fixing them. The disaster possibilities were endless. Pictures taking too long. Running out of drinks. The DJ playing a song off the no-play list. A bridal gown zipper that refused to zip. She’d even had a few missing vendors and last minute replacements.

  And she’d fixed every one of them. But she’d never misplaced the maid of honor before.

  She was beginning to question the sanity of letting Seth help her as they moved from room to room. Every room had something he had to comment on.

  Seth pointed to the antlers above the window in the Garden Room. “Should we take a moment of silence for Bambi’s mother?”

  “Those would be from Bambi or Bambi’s father. Not his mother.”

  “Poor Bambi. I really thought him and Flower would make it,” he said.

  She kept her back to him so he couldn’t see her smile as they entered the library.

  “Since when do a few bookshelves determine something to be a ‘library’?” He even used air quotes for library.

  She tried in vain to keep her mouth from turning up at the corners as she faced him. “Are you going to do something helpful or just be annoying?”

  “For a smile, I’d do a little of both.” He wiggled his eyebrows like Groucho Marx.

  He was trying to make her relax. If she weren’t on the job, it might have worked. Who was she kidding? It was working. She liked his stupid comments. She liked his quick thinking. She liked him.

  As the thought sank in, Seth closed the distance between them. Her breath caught.

  “Did you try her cell phone?”

  Rolling her eyes at him, she said, “Of course. Unfortunately because of the mountains, reception isn’t great out here. The call wouldn’t go through. So we have to do it the old-fashioned way, room to room. If you could manage to contain yourself, I’d like to keep the rest of the family from realizing something is wrong.”

  His eyes glinted with mischief and he closed the distance between them. “So if I started shouting her name at the top of my lungs? That would be bad.”

  “Yes, that would be bad.”

  “And how would you stop me?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her again.

  She raised an eyebrow and contemplated him. “Baseball bat?”

  He clapped his hand over his heart as if she’d shot him. She gave him a smile, brushed past him, and continued out of the library and through the Lounge. Her shoulder tingled from the close contact. Three more rooms and the kitchen to search on this level. The second level was only half the size of the first. And then there were the basement and wine cellar. And not enough time.

  “What do you do for fun?” Seth’s voice was directly behind her.

  “I don’t spend my free time trying to ruin someone’s wedding or drinking myself into a stupor.”

  “That’s a shame.”

  “Why is that a shame?”

  “It’s odd that when asked what you do for fun, you start with what you don’t do.”

  She stopped at the door to the Drawing Room
and turned to face him. “I have fun.”

  “Sending ushers on missions for nonexistent butterflies?” His crooked grin was all sorts of cocky.

  “Only when they deserve it.”

  His gaze dropped to her lips. “Oh, I deserve it.”

  The only place filled with butterflies was her stomach. The air around the two of them thickened. Another time and a different place and she might give him exactly what he deserved. A good kick in the shin for starters. But for now, she needed to remain calm, cool, and composed. After all, she was hired to deal with the stressful aspects of running a wedding. Like missing maids of honor.

  Julie knocked on the door of the Drawing Room.

  The best man, Blake, opened the door. “If it isn’t the woman I plan to romance into giving me a dance this evening.”

  “I don’t dance at weddings.”

  He held the door open wider for her to enter. “You just haven’t danced with me.”

  A handsome, flirtatious best man wasn’t anything out of the ordinary. But Julie had all the flirting her body could take from Seth. Seth closed in on her like a heat wave until her back was scorched from his nearness.

  So she zeroed in on the one man who definitely wouldn’t flirt with her today: the groom. Graham stood near the windows looking out onto the courtyard of the driveway. “Do you need anything, Mr. Downing?”

  Seth piped up, “How about a little Jack to help with your nerves, nephew?”

  Graham strode forward and pulled Seth into a one-armed manly hug. “How’s it going, Uncle Seth? I figured you’d be somewhere setting off the sprinklers or something.”

  “Not today.” Seth glanced over at Julie. “Though I may have a few tricks up my sleeve, your wedding planner is keeping a very close eye on me.”

  Julie could feel the blood rushing to her face. “Just doing my job.”

  Graham punched Seth in the arm. “Don’t make her mad, Seth. We need her.” He turned to Julie. “I know we can count on you. How’s Tessa?” Graham’s face lit up when he mentioned Tessa. It never failed to amaze Julie, how much devotion the grooms showed their brides. It made her feel hopeful that someday she could find someone who would light up when they mentioned her.