Relentless (Relentless Soul Book 1)

by Ryan, Rachel

  Leaning forward, I rest my elbows on my knees as I internally debate whether I should share the details with Ava. I know I can trust her but what will she think of me after I tell her. This isn't a story I share with many people.

  "When I was fifteen, my baby brother Samuel died." I feel her hand touch my leg and it sends jolts of energy through me so I continue. "I came home from school one day and my parents were passed out in the den. They had obviously been shooting up and were wasted." I hear a small gasp escape her lips. "I couldn't see Sammy anywhere in the den, so I went to his room. He was face down in the cot, so I thought he was sleeping. I went back out to clean up the mess that my parents had made and about ten minutes later I went back to check on Sammy again, and this time I got a little worried as I didn't see any movement from his breathing. I went and picked him up and he was gone. He was only six months old." Running my hands through my hair I can feel the tears building up in my eyes and I blink them away. "They ruled it as SIDS, but I know it was neglect. They spent all their fucking time shooting up and getting high. I should have been there. I should have prevented it. I'll never forgive myself for not being there for Sammy." Ava's small hand grabs hold of mine and she holds it in her lap.

  "Brody, it wasn't your fault. It's so unfair that you have been burdened with that guilt. They were his parents, not you."

  I shake my head "But I should have got them help, they needed rehab…If I had made them get help, it could have been avoided and Sammy would still be alive today."

  "Brody, if they didn't stop for their newborn baby, nothing would have made them stop. You were fifteen years old, still a baby yourself." She grabs hold of my chin and pulls my face toward hers. "Brody, I'm so sorry you have had to live with this guilt for so long, but baby, there is nothing for you to feel guilty about. You were fifteen. That amount of responsibility should never have been placed on you." I stare into her golden eyes, her words filling me with a sense of calm. When she called me Baby, I just wanted to pull her into my arms and hold her. This woman is so amazing and I just need to tell her. I need to tell her I'm in love with her. I can't hold it in any more, it's tearing me up inside.

  "Ava…"

  "Ava Flores?" An elderly male Doctor is standing in front of us waiting for a reply.

  ***

  An hour later and Ava has been admitted to hospital for treatment of pneumonia. The Doctor said it's only a mild case, but they just want to keep an eye on her overnight to make sure that it doesn't get worse. I've tried calling Jeremy's cell a few times, but have had no response. He's due back in Dallas by five o'clock to prepare for tonight's show; glancing down at my watch I see it's only two o'clock. I got hold of Tori and Emma about twenty minutes ago and they're on their way here.

  Ava is lying back on her bed watching me "Thanks for everything, Brody. If you hadn't forced me to come to the hospital, it could have been worse. Thank you for being there for me." I sit down on the chair beside the bed and hold her hand in mine.

  "Ava, I'll always be here for you." Bringing her hand up to mine, I kiss her palm and watch her eyes drift closed and a small sigh leaves her mouth. I continue to hold her hand and rub little circles on her palm with my thumb.

  "Ava, I…"

  "Hello, Ava?" Fuck interrupted again. Turning around I see Emma and Tori walking into the room, their arms loaded with flowers, chocolates and magazines. I let go of Ava's hand and tell her I'm going to go get a coffee, leaving the girls alone to fuss over her. As I leave the room, I pull out my phone and try Jeremy's number again. He finally answers and I can hear quite a bit of background noise.

  "Hey Brody. What's up?"

  "What the fuck have you been doing? I've been trying to call you for an hour. Ava's in hospital, Jeremy. She's got pneumonia, Dude."

  Hearing Jeremy curse under his breath, then "Jo, we gotta go." He says to me "I'm on my way." I give him the details about which hospital and room number then disconnect the call.

  Chapter 19

  Jeremy

  The next night Ava and I are curled up on the couch on her bus watching a movie. She had spent the night in the hospital and I had brought her home just after lunch time today. I had wanted to cancel the show last night so I could stay with her, but she wouldn't let me. Jo offered to stay with Ava during the show and I had gone straight back there after coming off stage. I still feel really bad about not being there for her yesterday, I shouldn't have left her alone knowing how sick she was. The Doctor prescribed some antibiotics and pain medication and instructed plenty of fluids and rest on her release from hospital, so all afternoon we have been relaxing on her bus.

  She's been pretty quiet, like her mind is somewhere else; maybe it's just the meds making her drowsy.

  Rubbing her thigh I softly say. "I'm sorry I wasn't there for you yesterday, Baby." She glances up at me with a small smile.

  "I've told you, it's not your fault. You had something important to do. Don't worry about it, I'm fine."

  "I just feel terrible that I left you alone when you were feeling sick."

  "I wasn't alone, Brody took care of me."

  "Yeah, he did." We fall into an awkward silence for a few minutes and then Ava shocks me with what she says next.

  "So, Brody told me about his brother and his parents." Wow, they must be a lot closer than I thought. For Brody to open up to Ava, he must really trust her. Even Luke and Hunter don't even know all the details about Brody's family life.

  "Yeah, it was a pretty rough time for him. It took him a long time to get through the grief of losing Sammy and the guilt has always hung around. Sometimes I still see that guilt eating away at him."

  Ava shakes her head gently as she stares at the flat screen "He must be such a strong person. For him to go through all of that and still be such a supportive, genuine person. I know how hard it is to lose someone you love, but to lose someone that young and in those circumstances…I admire the person he has become."

  Trying to take her mind off of Brody, I start rubbing her shoulders. She moans softly as her muscles start to relax and I can't help myself, my hands start to wander. She pushes my hands away gently "Not tonight, Jeremy. I'm still really tired."

  "Oh…sorry."

  There's something not right, I can feel a bit of tension, a bit of distance between us tonight and I don't know why. Maybe it's just because of the guilt I'm feeling for leaving her alone when she needed me. I think the thing that makes me feel even guiltier is the fact that I was having so much fun with Jo at the charity lunch yesterday. It's been nice to catch up and discover more about the kind of woman she's become. She is so passionate about fashion, she's driven and ambitious and incredibly beautiful. She always was, but the maturity has added a certain charm to her looks.

  "Maybe we should get some sleep, baby. We've got a couple of interviews to do downtown tomorrow morning and then in the afternoon we can head off to Georgetown."

  Ava

  Sitting in the car I try and sort my thoughts out. I'm so confused with everything. Jeremy insisted that he drove today and that I still needed rest. Lucky Brody was around to check on me; otherwise it could have been a lot worse. I didn't even know Jeremy had a charity event until the last minute. He never even told me about it, but I didn't have the energy to argue with him about it. It sounds like he and Jo had a great time though. She filled me in on everything that happened while she was keeping me company at the hospital. Wasn't that fun? She told me things about the band and what they were like as teenagers and the crazy things they got up to. Her interest in my relationship with Jeremy became quite obvious, as she seemed to ask a lot of questions. I think she may be into Jeremy more than just as a friend. Who can blame her though, he is a great guy. Shifting in my seat I try and ease my aching body I still don't feel completely well.

  As we drive along I still can't believe what Brody has gone through he is such an amazing person to come out of that situation so level headed, caring and strong both mentally and physically.


  "Baby, are you feeling ok? I'm sure your Grandparents will understand if you cancel."

  "I'm fine Jer and I really want to see them, I have only ever spoken to them over the phone. I need to meet them."

  "They are going to love you by the way."

  "I'm not so sure."

  "Ava, it's impossible not to. You are amazing. I promise."

  "Are you sure?"

  "Yes Dundee."

  ***

  Jeremy's voice softly calls out to me

  "Ava, we're here."

  Opening my eyes I look around and see we are in a driveway surrounded by trees. Right in front of the car is a beautiful cream two story home. Placing my hand on the door handle I freeze for a moment as I hear a door close. Looking down to the front porch I see a short lady with short grey hair, to her left is a taller man that looks just like my dad except much older and a lot less hair.

  "They will love you lets go."

  Nodding at Jeremy I open the door handle and step out of the car. Walking slowly over to the front of the house I rub my hands together.

  "Hola Ava, no puedo creer que estés aquí."

  Abuela yells out to me across the lawn. Getting up beside her she gives me the biggest hug and all my fears seem to melt away. "Hola Abuela, Abuelo este es Jeremy mi novio ". Abuelo comes around Abuela and me and hugs us both.

  "Hola Jeremy"

  "Hola Mrs Flores. Mr Flores"

  "Please call us Amaya Julio or Abuelo "

  ***

  Walking up the stairs of the bus I'm totally exhausted. Emma and Tori are getting ready to go out along with the rest of the band but after the day I had meeting my Grandparents and still not feeling that great I told Jeremy to go out with everyone else and to spend some time with Jo. With me being sick he hasn't spent much time with her. I told him to check on me whenever he likes but I think I'm going to be asleep really soon. Getting changed I slide under the covers in my bed and fill the girls in on my day and how wonderful my Grandparents were. They spoke about my Dad when he was younger and how I'm so much like him. I can't even describe what I feel at the moment I just feel so loved and happy. Jeremy got a bit confused as the conversation drifted between English and Spanish. I only know I a bit of Spanish myself that my father taught me before he died. After that I used it only when talking to my grandparents on the phone a couple times a year.

  "Ava."

  Hearing Brody call out my name I yell out "Down here." Hearing his footsteps get closer to me I wait to see his face appear. Emma and Tori excuse themselves when Brody enters behind the curtain.

  "See you later, Ava I'm so happy your day was just how you wanted it."

  "Have fun Tori, don't let Em get too wasted." Laughing at my own joke I pat the foot of my bed. "Sit." Brody looks at me and smiles as he sits down beside my feet.

  "So meeting your Grandparents went okay then?"

  "Brody it was amazing they were perfect and so much like my dad, I'm so glad I was able to finally meet them. I hope they felt the same about me."

  "Ava of course they do you are their granddaughter. You are the closet thing left of their son. They love you more then you know."

  Smiling at Brody I realize he is right I am the closest thing they have left of my dad. "I know but it's really hard meeting people you are supposed to know your whole life." Coughing I rest my head back on the pillow.

  "Ava, are you ok? Did you push yourself too much today?"

  "No I'm fine just not at the top of my game yet I'll be alright tomorrow. You should go or they will leave without you."

  "Ava, are you sure you don't want me to stay. I'd feel better knowing someone was with you."

  "I'll be fine, you're worse than Jeremy he didn't even need this much convincing. Go I'm just going to sleep, okay."

  "Okay but if you get worse call Jeremy or I straight away and one of us will be back here as soon as we can."

  "I will be fine I just need some sleep. Goodnight, Brody, thanks for being such a good mate."

  Chapter 20

  Jeremy

  After consuming way too many drinks, I find myself out on the dance floor of the club with Tori, Emma and Jo. The place is packed and at times I find myself being pushed in different directions, which doesn't go well with being slightly intoxicated. The rest of the band is sitting at our table upstairs with a perfect view of the dance floor, so I can just imagine them laughing their asses off at me right now. I'm a couple of drinks past caring though as I shake my drunk ass to the beat of the dance track that's playing.

  I feel a hand snake its way around my waist to rest on my abs. Looking down I see Jo's black nail polish and silver jewellery. Spinning around I come face to face with her and notice the dreamy look in her eyes.

  "Dance with me, Stone?"

  Wrapping her arms around my waist she moves in closer and I can smell her perfume. It's a vanilla scent with a floral undertone and it smells amazing. I look into her ocean colored eyes and feel a strange flutter in my stomach. Her fingers are tracing circles on my back and my heart starts racing. Why is she having this effect on me? She's never made me feel these things before. It must be the alcohol.

  I wrap an arm around her waist and our bodies sway to the music. She lifts her hands up and wraps them around my neck, pushing her chest against mine. Just as I'm beginning to get lost in the rhythm, an image of Ava flashes in my mind. I step back from Jo and run my hand through my hair.

  "Sorry. That was getting a bit…"

  "You're thinking about her aren't you?"

  Is she talking about Ava? "Yeah I'm thinking about her she's my girlfriend."

  Suddenly I notice tears welling in Jo's eyes and that sobers me up pretty damn fast. Placing my hands on her shoulders I lean down to look in her eyes.

  "Hey, Jo, what's wrong? Why are you crying?"

  "I just pictured this all different…us meeting again after so long. I've never stopped thinking about you Jeremy. The worst day of my life was the day my Dad told me we were leaving L.A."

  What the hell is she talking about? How many fucking drinks has she had?

  She continues "I was so angry at him for a long time. He took me away from my friends…my home…he took me away from you." She wipes the tears from her eyes and moves close to me again. "Jeremy, I'm in love with you. I have been since the day we met."

  What? What the fuck is she talking about? She's kidding right?

  "No, you love Brody."

  She looks confused "What? Why would you think that? Sure I love Brody like a brother. But my love for you is different."

  I'm shaking my head as I back away from her. "No, you and Brody were always together, all sneaky and whispering."

  "Brody knew about my feelings. He guessed straight away how I felt for you. He encouraged me to tell you how I felt, but I never had the courage, until now." Smiling sadly she looks away from me.

  "Until now? When I have a fucking girlfriend! What the hell am I supposed to do with that knowledge now? How the fuck can we stay friends when you've been lying to me this whole time?"

  "I've been lying to myself, never to you. I don't expect you to leave Ava for me. I just can't hold it in any more. My love for you has been torturing me for years. Seeing you this week, just confirmed that it hasn't gone away and I don't think it ever will."

  Running my hand through my hair, I slowly back away from her. "I'm sorry…I can't deal with this now." I turn away from her and walk out the front door of the club.

  Brody

  Watching Jeremy storm out of the club, I quickly make my way down the stairs. It looks like Jo finally told Jeremy how she feels about him and judging from his reaction, I don't think it went the way she was hoping. I don't know if Jo realized that Tori and Emma were also witnessing her exchange with Jeremy but Tori looks way beyond pissed. As I reach the dance floor, Tori is pointing a finger at Jo's chest and I can't hear what she's saying but I can just imagine the verbal venom currently spraying from Tori's mouth.

  Steppi
ng in between the girls I call time out and lead them all off the dance floor. After sending Jo upstairs to inform the guys it's time to go, I turn to Emma and Tori and quickly explain the situation and just remind them it's no one else's business.

  "Brody, she had her chance. She has no right to come back into the picture now and try to ruin Ava's chance at happiness with Jeremy. Fucking skank."

  "Tori, I completely understand where you are coming from, but just think about Ava. She doesn't need the stress of people fighting over her like this." Tori actually rolls her eyes at me. "Please Tori. Let Jeremy sort this out."

  "Ugh…fine. But if Ava gets hurt, Jo's ass is grass."

  It makes me feel good knowing that in such a short time Ava has formed such close friendships with these two girls. They really have her back, especially Tori. She's only small, but damn, she's feisty. I wouldn't want to ever get on her bad side.

  After hailing a cab to send Jo home, we pile into the limo and make our way back to the buses. Climbing up onto the bus I see Jeremy sitting at the table with a beer resting on the table in front of him. Sitting down opposite him, I say "Hey."

  He glances up at me then back down at his beer. "Hey. Why didn't you tell me?"

  "Jeremy, it wasn't my secret to tell."

  "Aww fuck. I know that. I just wish I had known, you know."

  "Would it change anything if you had known?"

  He shrugs "I don't know." We sit in silence for a few minutes.

  "Jeremy, did you check on Ava when you got back?"

  He shakes his head "Nah, I didn't think I could face her after what happened."

  I'm a little confused "Jeremy, nothing happened. I saw you move away from Jo when she got too close. Ava will be happy to know that. You haven't done anything wrong."

  Jeremy runs both hands through his hair and then takes another swig of his beer. "Yeah, the only problem is, my thoughts weren't as innocent as my actions."