Silver Heart

by Green, Victoria

  The course offered some of the most advanced jumps in the entire Whistler-Blackcomb area. It was dangerous and daring, yet exhilaratingly beautiful. Needless to say, it scared the shit out of me. It actually looked like it was made with the intent of breaking as many necks as possible. Obviously, only my twisted mind saw it that way. Sawyer and his team of pros conquered each jump effortlessly.

  As the snowboarders showed off their skills, I captured each trick and every jump with my camera. I managed to burn through two thirty-two gig cards in a span of four hours. I couldn’t wait to upload the pictures on my computer, analyze each shot and find a couple of gems in an ocean of photos.

  If even only ten out of the thousands of pictures I took turned out really amazing, I’d be one happy photographer. And if one of them ended up being The Shot, the frostbite on my fingers would be worth it.

  The moment my camera sprung to life, so did I. The crowd faded into the periphery, the sounds of excited cheers quieted, and the only reality that existed was whatever I could see through my lens. My subject and I were the only entities in the world; the camera connected our souls, matching the rhythm of our hearts until they beat as one.

  Through my experience with shooting athletic events, I’d found that when people are in their most aroused state of being, they draw in a silent breath. It’s on that inhalation that I like to snap the photo. In the case of snowboarders, this happened right when they were in the air, their pupils dilated, every muscle engaged, every nerve humming with excitement.

  Watching Sawyer ride did crazy things to me. He was so fluid on the board, so very commanding of the space around him. The snowboard became an extension of his body and he was able to get it to do the impossible.

  Each move had a purpose and every jump told a story. A captivating tale I couldn’t tear my eyes away from. He defied gravity by converting the snowy mountain beneath his feet into anything he wanted it to be—a fluid ocean wave on which he swam, a cloud in the sky on which he floated, his own icy kingdom which he ruled.

  My favorite subjects of the day—aside from Sawyer, of course—were the two female snowboarders. Their names, according to the cheers from the group, were Vivien and Emma and they were as opposite as night and day.

  Vivien wore a black Burton hoodie and her black hair was cropped short, exposing the various piercings decorating her ears. Emma, on the other hand, was outfitted in pink from head to toe, her blond ponytail swinging wildly every time she jumped.

  Regardless of their external differences, it was clear from the expression on their faces that they both shared a passion for the sport. Every time they tore through the air, matching every single one of the guys in height and speed, they reminded me of some kind of snow amazons.

  Vivien and Emma: Warriors of the Slopes, I was silently making up headlines to match my photos.

  When their turn concluded, both girls approached us. Emma greeted us, quickly excusing herself to tend to an alarming scratch on the bottom of her board.

  “I’m Vivien,” the dark-skinned snow goddess said, extending her hand.

  I shook it. “Dylan. And you’re amazing,” I told her honestly.

  “Sawyer put this whole thing together for you,” she said, nodding at the action happening on the terrain park. “He begged us to come out and showcase some of our best moves.”

  “For me?”

  “Yeah.” She grinned, showing off a dimple in her right cheek. “For his girl with the camera. He wanted you to get some shots for your portfolio.”

  Her words rendered me speechless, while Sawyer’s actions made my heart flutter. Finally, I found my voice. “I really appreciate the opportunity,” I told her. “I hope it wasn’t an inconvenience to you guys. I’m sure you’re busy.”

  “It’s no biggie. We would’ve been out here anyway. But I have to say, the guy won’t stop talking about how talented you are. Can I see some pictures?” she asked, leaning over my shoulder.

  I tried not to blush as I scrolled through some of my latest shots. I stopped on one that featured her. The main focus was on her board and the spray of snow flying through the air; her body dissolved into the backdrop of the sky.

  Vivien nodded her approval. “I love it. Most of the time photographers focus on my ass,” she laughed. “Every time Emma and I do shoots for magazines, they always try to convince us to pose in bikinis instead of our usual gear. Last week, we had to turn down a men’s magazine offer for a spread, because they wanted to feature us with just our snowboards. Buck naked.”

  “That’s…different.” I couldn’t even imagine getting on a snowboard without a helmet, let alone stripped down to nothing.

  “And so damn wrong. That’s not what snowboarding is about. And that’s not what being a woman in this sport should be about. If I wanted to get naked, I would join a lingerie football league.”

  “Well, I promise that my camera and I will continue to steer clear of your ass,” I laughed. “I’m mostly fascinated by your command of the board. It’s truly spectacular.”

  “Thanks.” She returned my smile. “Hey, do you and your friend want to come out with us tonight? We’re planning on doing a night run and then hitting up a bar in the village.”

  “A night run?” I gulped.

  “Sawyer will be there,” she coaxed. “And we really need more women around who are genuinely interested in snowboarding and not just thinking of the guys as dicks strapped to a board.” She nodded over to where Mia and her group of friends were standing.

  As if on cue, Mia blew a kiss at Sawyer as he passed by. He didn’t seem to notice, until she grabbed the side of his sweater and pulled him to her. His jaw tensed and he leaned over and said something to her before walking away. I could actually see steam fly out of Mia’s ears as she crossed her arms and pouted.

  “She’s been stalking our group like a dog in heat for two seasons now,” Vivien grumbled. “She already had her way with my ex, but her sights have always been on Sawyer.”

  Maddie sidled up to us and rolled her eyes. “I’m all about living it up and having fun, but going after guys who are taken or not interested is just pathetic.”

  “Most of the time she bats her lashes and puckers those lips and they all suddenly end up being interested.” Vivien’s bright smile disappeared and was replaced by a sinister scowl. “She’s pretty, rich, and her main goal in life—and this is a direct quote from her—is to ‘marry a hot extreme sports star.’ She spends her winters hanging around the snowboarders, and in the summer she’s away on some ritzy beach chasing after the surfers. She loves the spotlight and she thinks getting it through an up-and-coming athlete will be her path to fame.”

  I wanted to ask Vivien why the group even hung out with her, but I already knew the answer. I’d seen enough girls throw themselves at Sawyer when he was just an amateur to know that this was part of any successful athlete’s lifestyle. Thankfully, I’d never seen Sawyer react to any of those girls.

  But that was six years ago. Since then, he’d traveled the world and his star had begun to burn brighter than ever before. There was probably a Mia in every resort and I would be naïve to think that he hadn’t responded to a single one.

  An unexpected tightness began to form deep in the pit of my stomach. I wasn’t the jealous type. Hell, I had no right to be jealous in this situation. But I couldn’t help the slight feeling of possessiveness I was experiencing.

  Sawyer was my—what was he to me? I knew what I wanted him to be, but for now I settled on thinking of him as my “more than friend.” Mia didn’t know him. Not the way I knew him. She had no right to use him. Well, unless he wanted to be used.

  Did he?

  Crap.

  Thankfully, Vivien interrupted my thoughts and drew my gaze away from Mia. “So can I count on you guys for tonight?” she asked.

  “Yes!” Maddie answered for us both. “Right, Dee?”

  “I’ll make sure to wear my best bikini,” I joked, drawing out a warm laugh from Vivien.
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  Right then and there, I decided that Mia wasn’t going to have Sawyer. I didn’t care if he was mine for only three more days, I wanted him to be all mine.

  Just mine.

  “You should go,” Maddie said for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. “Have fun. Leave me.” She removed her head out of the toilet bowl and collapsed on the bathroom floor. “Freaking seafood. Gets me every time.”

  I leaned against the doorframe and massaged away the tension that had formed between my furrowed eyebrows. “I don’t know why you insist on eating shellfish when you know you’re allergic.”

  “Because at the time of ingestion it seems like a good idea,” she replied. “Don’t let anything stop you from enjoying all of life’s little pleasures. That’s my motto.”

  “Well, I hope you and your motto are enjoying the pleasure of puking.” I wasn’t trying to be mean, but sometimes my best friend chose to push the weirdest boundaries just to see how far she could go.

  How did the pleasure of being able to enjoy seafood make up for the pain of being sick afterward? I simply couldn’t understand it. But best friend code dictated that I didn’t have to. I just had to be there in the aftermath.

  “Lesson learned,” she groaned.

  I had my doubts. “Is it really?”

  “At least until next time.” She threw herself back over the ceramic throne, emptying the rest of the contents of her stomach.

  “Should I take you to the hospital?” I was beginning to worry. She’d been at this ever since we came back from the restaurant, which was well over an hour ago.

  She shook her head and wiped away the tears that had pooled in the corners of her eyes. “I’ll live. My allergy isn’t life-threatening. I just need some Pepto and a really long nap.”

  “I’ll tuck you in and bring up a movie for us to watch,” I said.

  “What? Why?” Her eyes widened as she looked over at me. “You should still go out!”

  “You’re sick. I’m not going to leave you alone to fend for yourself,” I told her. “I’ll just text Sawyer and Vivien and tell them not to wait for us.”

  “Go out, Dee!” she countered. “I can call Connor.”

  “I think this is one of those nights that will require lots of BFF TLC,” I said, feeding her the acronyms she loved so dearly. “Weren’t you the one who taught me that the most important rule of being a good girlfriend was to never leave a woman behind?”

  She nodded feebly. “Never. In any situation.”

  “Exactly.” I crossed over the bathroom floor and stroked her back. “I’m not going anywhere.” If Maddie was going to continue her friendship with the toilet for the rest of the night, she’d benefit from having someone she felt completely comfortable with around to help. I wasn’t sure if she and Connor were at the “hold my hair while I puke” stage of their relationship at this point in time.

  “But Sawyer…” she whined.

  “Sawyer will understand. And if he doesn’t, then he’s not worth it.”

  “But you won’t get any.” Leave it to Maddie to still have sex on her mind.

  As the smell of vomit hit my nostrils, I swallowed hard, trying not to gag. “Trust me, after watching your little show tonight I’m not in the mood for any. Any anything.”

  “Alright,” she sighed, giving in. “You can play doctor tonight. But then it’s back to being a photographer tomorrow.”

  A few moments later, I was on the phone with Sawyer. It somehow didn’t seem right to text a visual of Maddie’s poorly digested shellfish.

  “Do you want me to come over?” he asked. “I can help.”

  Someone yelled something I couldn’t make out, but I could envision his group of friends gathered around with their snowboards, ready to head out for the night run.

  “There’s no reason for you to come over,” I said.

  “There are lots of reasons for me to be there,” he countered.

  “We’ll probably just crash really early. Why don’t we meet up tomorrow morning for another lesson,” I suggested. “If you’re free, that is.”

  “I’m booked for the rest of the week and there’s only one name on my schedule, Silver,” he murmured, his voice deepening. I could hear the smile in his words. “I’ll pick you up at eight.”

  “Please tell Vivien that I’m sorry I couldn’t come out. I wanted to get to know the girls you ride with. They seem like a great group.”

  “They really liked you,” he replied. “Not that I’m surprised.”

  Once again, someone yelled for Sawyer to hurry up.

  “Go! Have fun,” I urged. Then, pausing for a breath, I added, “Try not to hold any private lessons in the forest.”

  A deep chuckle vibrated through the phone, caressing my ear. “I’ve already told you—that lesson was specifically tailored to you and your needs.”

  “Can I book more?”

  “How about later tonight? Text me if Maddie starts feeling better and I’ll come over.”

  “Okay.”

  “Silver?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Text me even if you don’t want me to come over.”

  I laughed. “What am I supposed to text you?”

  “A picture of you wearing those little shorts I love so much.” With those words, he hung up, leaving me alone with the memory of last night. And the one of this morning.

  My entire body heated as I glanced over at the living room. I knew it was just my imagination playing tricks on me, but I could almost see the outline of our bodies in the exact spot where he had pinned me against the wall.

  Running my hands over the excited tingle spreading from my abdomen all the way down my legs, I closed my eyes and recalled the sensation of his lips against my skin. Sawyer had, without a doubt, bestowed upon me the most tantalizing pleasure I’d ever experienced.

  Before my mind was able to take me any further, the echo of Maddie’s loud gags jerked me out of my thoughts, serving as a substitute for the cold shower I was surely going to need. Straightening up, I rushed to her side, ready to play doctor and be a best friend for the rest of the night.

  At ten thirty, Maddie had already been fast asleep for over an hour and I was starting to bore of the string of sitcom reruns that seemed to be polluting every channel. After checking on her and ensuring that she had a clean bucket by the side of her bed, I crept downstairs for a snack.

  Upon entering the kitchen, my eye zeroed in on the freezer. With a naughty smile, I retrieved one of Sawyer’s lime popsicles and snapped a picture of it. I texted him the photo, deciding not to add a single word.

  Let him interpret that in any way he wishes.

  Two more episodes of another comedy show passed without a response from Sawyer. Finally, just as I was contemplating turning in for the night, my phone buzzed. I dove after it a little too eagerly.

  My fingers hit the table at the same time as the realization that I needed to see him connected with my brain. I wanted him to come over tonight.

  Badly.

  But the picture message that flashed on my phone made my heart sink and plummet to the pit of my stomach as quickly as if it’d been made out of stone.

  Mia stared at me through the screen, wearing just a smile. Her long hair covered her naked breasts. The long locks were wild and tangled, as if she’s just spent the past hour rolling around in a bed. And she probably had, considering she’d used one as a backdrop for her photo.

  If I’d just received a picture of semi-nude Mia from Sawyer’s phone, I would’ve second-guessed the situation. But the guy wrapped in the sheets behind her was undeniably familiar. Though most of his body was concealed, the strands of dark hair protruding from the covers and the tattoo of the mountain peaks lining his arm belonged to only one person I knew.

  There was nothing to second-guess. Right in this very moment, Mia and Sawyer were together. I’d never felt such a violent response to a text message before; it was almost as if I’d suddenly contracted Maddie’s f
ood poisoning. Worst of all, there was absolutely nothing I could text back in response.

  What was I supposed to say? Okay, have fun?

  Other, nastier thoughts flashed through my mind, like reminding Sawyer to use protection because Mia seemed to make a habit of frequenting his friends’ beds, but I wasn’t going to sink to that level.

  It took two to tango and it took two to screw. If Sawyer wanted to be with Mia, then so be it. I wasn’t going to play games. And I certainly wasn’t going to fight for someone who thought of me as a disposable fling.

  Why? How?

  The two simple questions kept buzzing around in my mind, refusing to leave me alone. I didn’t understand. Why did he feel the need to be with Mia when he could have me? How could he look at me so tenderly one moment and bring himself to speak such naughty things into my ear, then turn around and do the same to someone else?

  Despite the brave front I put on for myself, I couldn’t scrub away the hurt that had filled my heart. I crawled in next to Maddie, and attempted to sleep. Instead, I ended up lying on my back and staring up at the ceiling the entire night.

  Why? How?

  It still didn’t make sense.

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Somewhere around five o’clock in the morning I finally rose and forced myself to take a shower and dress, putting on the clothes I’d intended to wear the night before—a black button-up sweater with a blue, black, and gray wool skirt. Thick, black stockings and a dark blue scarf followed to ensure warmth.

  I dried my hair and detangled my curls to the best of my ability. I couldn’t bother with make-up, but as I waited for Maddie to rouse, I ended up yielding to some mascara and lip-gloss.

  My plan was to take my camera and drive us into town for a fun day of photography, shopping, and food, but the moment Maddie’s eyelids fluttered open, it quickly became clear that she wasn’t going anywhere. Her skin was clammy and pale, dark circles lined her eyes.

  She placed her pillow over her head and groaned. “I’m never eating seafood again.”