by ROUNAK PURI
"Buy me!?" I said.1
"I liked you and love Joe. I was bidder 904. I sold everything I ### had so I could buy you both. All I did was push the early bidding up. I'm sorry" Kayla cried5
The hourglass of my feelings was turned upside down. My feelings were running out the glass, down hill again.
"What have you got to be sorry for?" that was more of a genuine question at this point.
"Near the end, I took all the money I had for you and put it on Joe. I'm sorry I really didn't want you to go to such a creep as Lord Rockwood. At first I thought I could buy you. We could be friends together. I could even free you after twenty years. You were my best friend ever. Then I go and use all my cash for you, so I have enough money for Joe. I'm sorry you don't deserve friends who sell you out"
"but you wanted the money for Joe right?" I said.
"Yes all the f**king good it did." said Kayla.
"Why didn't you tell us?" I said.
"At first it was my job. The Principle told me that everyone went through a phase of liking the slaves. I'd get over it. I needed more what did he call it? Detachment. He told me to do what he did was go and beat the slaves at home and get over it. So then I was under constant observation. The last thing an agent can do is blab. It puts all the others in danger, " she said.
"God how many f**ks were you?" I asked.
"When the Factory first opened, we were 60,40. Surprising how much people will go along with things when everyone else does. We have expanded getting less each time so this time around 10%? This was my first full tour" said Kayla. Talking shop seemed to be weirdly taking her mind off things and calming her down. So I kept on.
"One in ten of us was fake? I knew 88 was one right away; she stood out like a soar thumb," I said.
"No, she wasn't, she was real. She was being manipulated by 1220" Kayla said.
"You organised that! F**k! What about the whole private message?"
"No, she was trying to do me a favour. She had lent me some money to hang on to you, so she decided to help out by trying to scare you off Rockwood. I thought if you both changed your profile pictures to look more boyish then it might put him off. How was I to know he was a closeted whatever he is?" said Kayla
"The current word is Scott. I think it's all the kilt wearing. OK, the rest I get so why are you here?" I asked.
"Well after the final bids I went to the principle. I sold my self and gave the money to him to make him a buy one get one free offer to Rockwood," said Kayla.
"But why?"4
"Because, from my seat, slavery with you two is better than freedom without you" she said.17
Kayla burst into tears, and I would have hugged her if I could. I burst into tears too. Shitty set of choices. Firstly choose your future boyfriend or best friend to be saved. Then just be out bid for him. Then decide between letting them go or selling your self into slavery, to be with them.
"Kayla, you've had a shit time." I said "I've been a crappy friend to you."
"No you haven't," said Kayla in sobs "I've should have told you some how."
"It's my fault I should have listened to you about the profile" I said struggling in the box.
"You did, that's the problem it's all my fault. What are you doing?" she asked while I wiggled.
"I'm trying to get out. If we can somehow show, the shrink wrap is opened they will have to accept us"
I thought I had tried hard to escape and now I was trying even harder to make sure I stayed. Yes, my egg timer world was that upside down. I tried bending my neck to eat my packaging, but the collar made it difficult. I worked on my hand pulling hard against the bonds. I had like 12 cable ties between me and the outside world. I felt so stupid about getting them to put another four on to make it look even. I gritted my teeth and tried to break the first one.
Then the lights came on, and doors opened. A couple of service robots came in one red, one blue. They looked at us and then scanned the barcode on Kayla's box then checked her collar.
"Slave ID" said the robot.
Kayla tried to talk but was just to horse after crying
"1066" I said.
"Helpful girl" the robot said. Hay who says they aren't making good robots any more?2
"The packaging is damp" said the blue robot. Looking at the tear soaked area around the head hole.
"This one looks damaged" said the red robot looking at Kayla's bloched face.
"Did it happen during delivery?" the robot asked to us.
"Be specific the first or second delivery" said the blue robot. "Human's can't handle default options well"
"No it happened here after delivery," I said.
"1066 You are to be shipped to the assembly area" said Red. "after deboxing you will be medically inspected then taken to a watering station and the slave containment area understand"3
"Yes Lord" said Kayla recovering.
"Should I keep the packaging in case we have to send it back?" said Blue.
"No, the box room is full. This one is a free gift it's no use sending it back. If it's not working properly we can use the parts to get another one working." said the Robot.
My heart leapt for joy.
"You guys are the best" I said, "I love you. Kayla I'll find you OK. I'm sure you'll find Joe; everything is going to be just fine you'll see. Be strong!" I said.
I said smiling as Kayla was put on to a hand cart and wheeled off. My heart felt so soar I thought it would burst and kill me. Alone I wondered what they would do with me. +
*********
Chapter 31/Him/Terms and Conditions
So far I had been captured by an invading robot army. Send into slavery, sent to Slave U, sold to some transvestite loving Lord and left in a delivery box for hours. Now I faced immediate decapitation and I think I can safely say I've had better days. I'd looked out to the huge machine city beyond. It was quite a view.
5
I had managed to invent a plan. When the slave girl came back I would say things like "Wow you look all right love. Great tits wouldn't mind them as my last super. Anyone know the latest football scores? How are the Mets doing?" Doing this while looking at the slave girl and speak in a low voice.
OK looking back, I admit it was a stupid plan. I thought if he was looking for boys who looked like girls. Then he might go for a girl who acted like she was a boy who looked like a girl. Who know's he might find he liked the real thing. I had convinced myself this was my best and only chance of not being put into the large salami making machine over there. I felt this was essentially true anyway, I always had been a bit of a tomboy. I was a nerd and I hadn't fitted in with the whole girly, girly business. On the other hand, I could really own this whole slinky sexed up girl with brains business. I mean these machines are supposed to be smart so what cyber hulk isn't going to like being able to call a girl "concupiscent" and not worry that his attempts at being elegantly horny are not being received as he describing her as a concubine's personal toilet? What Cyborg doesn't want to say to his beloved "you look very pulchritude tonight what shall we do?" and have the slave smile and say "You look very bonny yourself" NOT "After you called me that. I don't know, but sex is off the cards"? I really felt I could make smart work, this could be my winning formula my USP.
If only I had a time machine to go back in time and take Joe up on his experiments in pushing rule 17 to its limits. Then he wouldn't be spoiled for life by Rockwood, I'd still have a chance. I could have also got Kayla to fess up to being a co-lab so stopping the whole anger management business in the loading bay, but then she would be irked at me for sleeping with her boyfriend without any further intentions. Maybe I could... no... perhaps if I went back and... no what if I . ... That's it I'm in a hole so deep that even an imaginary time machine couldn't dig me out. Things have to be pretty bad when you can't sort it out with a time machine. I mean if breaking the laws of physics and committing grievous bodily harm on causality can't sort your problems out you know fate is giving you the finger.
I persuaded myself that it was just the factory messing with my mind. Dark brooding and handsome wasn't my type anyway. He was playing for the other side and I don't think any inexpert fumbling from me no matter how enthusiastic would make him change his mind. After all, Joe would have the not knowing what to do down pat, better than me. Oh, and Joe hadn't done it with a girl either meaning he wouldn't know what he was missing. Kayla, you fool! This was all so unfair. Curse you Joe, Curse the data entry error which had blighted you and ruined my life. It was so obvious that Rockwood was bidding on Joe all along and picked me as another likely defective. Rockwood was so a dead end. This was worse than when Tyler broke up with me on Valentine's Day after presenting me with a list of my faults. Curse you Rockwood I will have my revenge!
****
I was awakened by noises outside. I had fallen asleep tied up in the box. My neck hurt. Soon the door which opened with a whoosh possibly a swoosh I wasn't paying that much attention. In walked Lord Rockwood followed by a tall slim sexy girl slave with Betty Davis eyes, a couple of, dangerous combat robots moving like metal gorilla bodyguards and Hal. At least it was a Hal or the one he had zapped previously had been repaired. I wondered do the girl and guards go to the toilet with him? Do cyborgs go to the toilet?
A small elegant arm chair hovered, itself into the room and stopped in front of me. Someone wanted a ringside seat. Rockwood walked over to it he was dressed very smartly completely in black. He wore a T-shirt under his jacket top. His shirt was tight enough to show off his muscled physique. He sat down and looked at me silently. I felt his violet eyes rolling into me. I cannot tell you how fantastic Rockwood looked. A face which grabbed your soul and carelessly crushed it into submission. The only thing that reminded you he was a cyborg was the slight halo glow generated by the blinking LEDs down his spine. He stood staring at me with his violet eyes. It was time for plan A to go into action, but I couldn't, he exuded this kind of aura like he had a perfect containment field of charisma
The slave girl got down and knelt in a sexy way next to his chair. She looked at him like she was in the middle of some rapture, I wanted her job.
"I see she's still in her packaging." he said in his delicious Scottish brogue.4
"Lord. Health and Safety regulations state that no flesh unit is permitted in the capital without a self-destruct system. I await punishment, Sir" she said.
For a second, I was admiring her 'slave craft'. Modern 21st-century robot inspired slavery wasn't as simple as it was in the 19th. The second law stated that you must always follow orders. What if your owners' orders counter those of the law? Well, the Factory had said you should follow the law's orders and accept any punishments for failure like a good girl.
I guessed she was just doing what her collar had told her. She writhed in agony but quietly. He was quite the callous one. You could see him hunting lions in Zimbabwe with a Minnesota dentist.22
He sat looking at me intensively his head resting on his large hand in thought.
"Time to undress the lass I think. Hal open the pod bay doors will you" he said.2
"Is there any service I can perform master? Master seems tense, perhaps master needs to relax and needs to have a good time. Master knows I am very willing to offer my body for his pleasure" said the slave girl. Pretty impressive given she must still be smarting from what we slaves called 'after charge'. Unfortunately, the slut hadn't figured she had the one thing he didn't want, ovaries.4
Hal came over with a box cutter. I tensed up would he just cut my jugular here? He paused and Hal cut the packing tape on the lid, Relief. He lifted the top lid over my head. I looked down and tried not to stare at Rockwood. Hal picked up the user guide which was on the top of all my packaging. Then handed it to his Master, who started reading it like a Sunday magazine. Who goes through the user manual when they have a new slave? He sat there for a good five minutes reading the manual. Everyone stood politely around waiting for him. He had hundreds of slaves did he read all their manuals? It's not like I'm an Ikea slave and I have a lot of parts to assemble or anything. Come on, you want me out of the box. I want me out of the box, let's get on with it.
He laughed for a second, "the Japanese translation is always so ridiculous. 'Where is your wanted? Maybe in corner'"6
'What' I thought 'you're reading the English AND Japanese translations I'm going to be here all day!'.
"Hal," said Rockwood sitting up slightly "Get on with it"
"Look," Hal said "batteries for the remote control, I always like it when they include the batteries for remote control, it stops you going around at having to get them from another one to get going."
He rummaged around in the box of my accessories.
"Remote control, Pelvic toner, Vibrating Egg, Moon cup,... oh, there you go it's the recharger cable for the collar. I hate the way they always use the proprietary cables on these collar charging kits. Then if you lose it or can't it won't reach the bed you have real problems and have to buy a special one and they're really expensive" he went on.23
'inconvenient?' I thought 'if my collar loses charge, and I can't find a charge station, I have to go into low power of mode ( basically I have to lie on the floor and do nothing and say nothing) for a couple of days. Then, at that point the last of the emergency charge detonates the auto-destruct. The ultimate runaway slave fail safe. Inconvenient that you blood sucking trash.
Hal pulled out accessories from my box the slave began to collect up loose chippings put them in a bag. He moved putting his head close to my neck and sniffed.
"I love that new slave smell." Hal went on. "I wish you could buy it in a bottle"13
'Wait until you remove more packing beads and start to get the smell of my leakage' I thought. I was now fairly exposed. He was beginning to see my sexy outfit, my plump standardized breasts stood out in the light. I was covered in cable ties. For most slaves, this was their big day. We had all queued before the best makeup printer before we left. There wasn't a slave film I had seen which didn't have the big unboxing event. The Freder scene in the movie Metropolis, Cleopatra being unfurled from a carpet. You wanted that love at first sight. Now was my moment.
"By breaking the seal on this product, you are agreeing to the terms of conditions contained therein. You can hear the terms and conditions or just say OK to accept them" I say going by the book.
There was a silent pause.
"She hasn't got a working collar," explained Hal.
"I would like to hear the terms and conditions," Rockwood said.7
The slave girl looked at him in surprise. Hal turned to the robots with a, 'this is going to be good expression'.
I knew it, I just knew it he was a git. He would have to be the kind of guy who listens to the terms and conditions. I bet he changes the fuses in the plugs in our collar chargers every year as well. I have some kind of uber-nerd for an owner. They said in class we should memorize the terms and conditions but then said people never listen to them anyway and even if they did the first thing your collar does after going from flight safe mode is to prompt you through them. He was doing this so he c
ould immediately have an excuse to punish me or better still send me back.
Sending maximum thumbs up back in time to my past self, I began.
"Please listen to this software license agreement ("license") carefully before using your slave or downloading the collar software update accompanying this license. By using your slave or downloading a software update, as applicable, you are agreeing to be bound by the terms of this license. if you do not agree to the terms of this license, do not use the slave or download the collar software update..." I began.
I droned on in the most boring voice possible hoping against hope, he would get bored and go for accepting. Yet I was wrong. The slave behind him was looking at me in genuine awe. The first three pages I knew pretty well. Page 4 got pretty difficult and I only had to correct myself a couple of times. The thing that got me irritated was that pages five and six just covered copyright protection for music. Okay, I understand that we have to protect Slave systems Inc from any legal ramifications caused by illegal music downloads. But seriously who is going to shell out 300-bit coins on a slave and then use them just for music playback? It's not like the collar is designed for music anyway, it's really for speech. I really think for slaves like me who don't have a good singing voice they should just drop the whole music interface anyway. Then I wouldn't have to remember this stupid pair of badly written pages of legalize.
I tried to use a slightly lower register in my voice. I mean he likes that anyway and it makes you sound sexier doesn't it? If six months before the robot apocalypse someone from the future said I would be sitting in a box reciting terms and conditions with a voice like a video played back on slow I would not believe them, yet here I was. Despite this, I managed to get through the difficult page 8 and then was into the home straight. Page 9 done, it was all downhill from here. I guess I got too confident, though.+
"In addition" I started then froze, my mind was blank. "In addition ..." I started again but couldn't think what it could be. My mind was an empty, what was I going to do?