I AM A GIRL CYOBORG PET

by ROUNAK PURI

  Loop pulled a box out of this jacket he set a long timer and lodged a bomb behind a bin next to the door. Any way I presumed it was a time bomb. We continued and followed the trail of hoof prints on the carpet to find a route outside. It didn't take long to realise that the sports Center was near the centre of town. Instead of trying to escape Loop made a beeline for a deserted Best Buy.

  "Is this really a good time to go looking for a new expresso machine?" I said.

  Pop quiz. So your escaping from a bunch of animals ( literally ) who have been cyberneticly upgraded to the state of being able to follow an Episode of the Big Bang Theory and discover that man kinds over throw was due in no small part to the shooting skills of a bunch of malevolent and distinctly over armed sheep/pigs/cattle etc. So naturally one has one's marine by ones side, and your suddenly out in the open. So do you

  a) run to your only form of viable transport and get the hell out of there or

  b) decide to put in a quick round of shopping at a local electronics retailer ?

  The answer in my case was b. No, I don't know why either.5

  We wove our way to what looked to be a Best Buy. Loop undid the door at the back. the place was large and dark. We made our way carefully in. Loop found his way to the managers office.

  "What are we doing we should escape" I said. I was whispering but wasn't sure why.

  "It's marine business." said Loop looking for a phone.

  "You mean military business or you want to buy an aquarium ?" I asked as Loop pulled the land line phone out. "Can't they trace the call?" I said.

  "No, a guy called DarkZero in the Seattle resistance found a way to shield the calls. Pre war some executive at Best Buy pressed the wrong button on a website and spent millions of dollars on private and secure phone lines enough for each store. By the time they found out that they had installed it all the executive could do was bury the mistake. They were so good at hiding all knowledge of it so the machines didn't find any records of it. Long as we speak in code and don't hang around for too long, we should be OK. Don't look" said Loop dialling.

  Loop put it on speaker phone while he waited,

  THIS IS RESISTANCE CONTROL. WE ARE EXPERIENCING AN EXCEPTIONALLY HIGH VOLUME OF CALLS RIGHT NOW. YOUR WAR IS IMPORTANT TO US AND AN OPERATOR WILL GET TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. PRESS #1 IF YOU ARE UNDER ATTACK. PRESS #2 IF YOU NEED TO GET MORE AMMUNITION. DON'T KNOW YOUR ORDERS? PRESS #3. CALLS MAY BE RECORDED FOR TRAINING AND LAUGHTER PURPOSES. WHAT CAN I SAY WE EVACUATED Mumbai FOR GREENLAND. THINGS GET PRETTY DULL UP HERE*.2

  It continued on for five tense minutes then someone pick up. Loop picked up the phone and this stopped the speaker phone mode.

  "Broadsword calling danny boy. Broadsword calling danny boy over" said Loop."Zed, Zed , nine , Plural , Zed, Alpha" he said in code. Followed by a pause.3

  "Runaway found request id.... OK stand by for voice print" said Loop looking up at me.

  "They want you to tell them your name." said Loop

  I took the phone.

  "Name please" said a voice in a call centre. I heard the chatter in the background. someone said 'no I don't think a suitcase full of lard would be very effective against robots but thanks' . Cool, the world resistance against machine domination is now being run out of a call centre .

  "Jenny Banks" I said then handed the phone back to Loop.

  Loop listened ,"OK 40 minutes" he said.

  Loop put the phone down and put it in a draw to keep the ring down. Then pulled me towards him. I ended up sitting on his lap.1

  "What now ?" I said.

  "We wait" said Loop

  "Won't the cyber sheep and unicorns be after us? This doesn't feel safe." I said.

  "Don't worry. I've cheated death so often it won't let me play. They will fill the skies with drones until the batteries go." he looked at his watch. "in an hour and 20 minutes Rodi will start a diversion. It's standard practice if we don't return. Now what can we do for 40 minutes?" he said and pulled me closer.

  "I don't know" I said sitting on his lap "do you have a travel boggle set on you?"5

  I kissed him, my marine. I think we both realised we were not the enemy. If he wasn't a marine why call back to base? I decided Rockwood and I were on the mother of all breaks and I could date who I liked.31

  *****

  45 minutes later.

  We had just reached me demonstrating how to a number 4 kiss the school made me learn, when the phone rang quietly. Loop reached picked it up and listened.

  Loop listened.

  "Delta Echo Bravo Kilo....Confirm come home to mother....Confirm all stealth necessary... about 60 days minimum...Confirm the package is priority....confirm all sins forgiven, repeat all sins forgiven" said Loop looking at me " hura. " he added putting the phone down stunned.

  "What's wrong?" I asked, this felt serious.

  Loop looked at me like his mother had died "They seem very desperate to get you. What do you know?"

  "Some basic biochemistry. The name of every character in Harry Potter. Not much. What did they tell you to do?" I asked.10

  "I'm going to take that as, what ever you have to tell them is more important than something you can tell the guy who freed you. Thats OK. I have to get you to Greenland" said Loop.

  "Greenland? Why Greenland do you have air miles to use up or something?" I said.

  "It's the largest remaining free country. It's where the military forces are hiding ready for the counter strike. The resistance command is there" said Loop8

  Wow the last refuge of man kind was Greenland. A country which had three glaciers for every inhabitant. Things in the world outside had to be grim if living there was someone's idea of a good option. *8

  "What does all sin's forgiven mean?" I said

  "It means your delivery is the priority, all other concerns are rescinded. I and the team are expendable in the completion of this mission."

  "Really ? That's terrible." I said. Feeling super guilty.

  "I haven't been given an all sins forgiven mission for a while. Trained troops are expensive assets to loose. OK if we get stopped, I will slow them down, you run. If we get split up then you must make it back to the rendezvous point by yourself. Tell Rodi 'Klaatu barada nikto' that will pass the message on to him. Can you remember that?"2

  "What?"

  "Klaatu barada nikto" said Loop.3

  "Sure. I get verbal orders all the time" I said.

  "OK, what did I just say then?" said Loop.

  I tried to ask my collar then realised it wasn't there. Force of habit I guess..

  "Klaatu barada ningdo"

  "Nicto" said Loop

  "Klaatu barada nikto" I said. It seemed rather short sentence for a rather complex list instructions.

  "Don't forget" insisted Loop.

  He pulled me to him again and kissed me. I kind of liked the way he didn't mind showing me this level of physical affection. I could get used to it. Much nicer than that stiff Rockwood. I've got to stop thinking about Rockwood. He kept coming back to my mind like my memory of him was on a big piece of elastic. Clearly Cyborg mind tricks were still playing with my brain.

  Loop took my hand, then led me out. We sneaked into the car park. Looking out I could see the robots methodically searching every building. They had a couple of two story robots which just crushed some family houses.

  "I've had an idea" said Loop.

  "What?" I said.

  "Maxim - expect the unexpected it's a maxim right?" said Loop smiling in pleasure at his own brilliance.

  "How can you say something like that at a time like this? Our lives are in danger. We are in the heart of the enemy base, you are on a do or die mission for the resistance and clearly it's an aphorism" I told him in no uncertain terms.2

  Suddenly in the distance there was an explosion. The robots turned around to look. Then moved off. Look like Rodi's diversion was on time. We rushed into the Best buy car lot.

  "Someone kicked the ant's nest" said Loop quietly looking
around. "You stay here, then follow me, wait for my signal? You got me? "

  15

  A drone came round the corner, it had four legs splayed out like a spider and a gun that said 'you're not going to survive this one'. We were dead meat, Suddenly there was an explosion back in the stadium. It looked like the timer on Loop's explosive in the sheep control room had gone. The drone froze then it's gun point to the ground. Wow the sheep really did run the robot drones.

  ***

  We made it to the back alley where we had left the bicycles. To my surprise they was still there, I guess it makes sense all the people were gone and sheep couldn't ride bikes. Loop scanned the bikes looking for any signs of a tracing device.

  "okay when I say 'go' cycle down the main street as fast as you can, get back to the rendevouz" said Loop.

  I got on the pedal up and nodded to show I was ready.

  Suddenly through a window a large robot jumped out.

  "get vem" I heard a voice said. 'NO' I thought - 'Unicorns. lying in wait'.

  I looked down to see a number of those tiny spider robots which had caught us, running round the corner. There was a ninja clad squirrel with an antenna coming out of his head pointing at the ground around the robots giving orders. I kicked the ninja squirrel hard and it flew into the air like a football. Oh I felt really mean, but it did get a free flying lesson.8

  "Go, go now" shouted Loop.

  "I'm not going with out you" I said.1

  "All sin's forgiven" Loop reminded me. He started shooting at the robots.

  I turned to go then suddenly was confronted by another robot.

  "Kill them, kill them all. I want that one stuck on a kabab stick, to-daloo " said an English accent from one of the machines.

  "sheep!" I said panicing.2

  I looked back to Loop. His gun had jammed. Suddenly his eyes practically fumed and turned black. He threw is jacket off and before I could admire his perfect physique he morphed into a huge wolf.27

  Werewolf marines, I was shocked I thought it was just a metaphor! It's like finding out the Ogden Raptors were in fact all dinosaurs... actually that could explain a lot. Any way suddenly he's this massive wolf who leaps over me and takes the huge combat robot in front of me, down.29

  I cycled off as fast as I could go, past them. Wolf Loop is rapidly savaging the metal of the machine who is struggling to fight him off.

  You know what I'm thinking? Well I know I'm all up on adrenaline and stuff but as I shoot through the place I'm thinking 'The Resistance' sure if they are all divided up into small groups that should be 'We are a resistance'. Like you don't hear a gang member saying we belong to 'The Gang' because there is more than one they belong to 'A Gang'. Ok people talk about 'Crime' being on the increase but that's one thing but no one says 'We are members of The Crime'. Honestly this is what I'm thinking about.

  A robot emerges out of Star Bucks and lifts it's gun to point at me. I turn a sharp corner and start cycling at speed down the sidewalk for cover. Self driving cars, inactive since the town was sacked, come to life ready to flatten me.

  On the other hand, (I start thinking) , there are part of a network and the internet isn't one box. It's many boxes in a network, but we call it 'the internet' singular, so The resistance works provided it acts as one thing. 'What about the Seattle resistance?' I think as a rocket hurtles over my head. Clearly it's separated from 'The resistance' classic. So there are at least two, possibly more resistances, there for the notion of 'The Resistance' singular isn't going to happen.

  I notice an automatic sniper above me on a roof and turn again. I cycle through a hardware shop grab a pair of boots in my size ( resourceful huh) and shoot out the back door. 'Unless' I think to my self 'they mean we are with general concept of the resistance but then at that point I could say just-read-the-instructions was 'with the resistance' because she clearly resisted'. Clearly the resistance or who ever hand't thought about this from a grammatical point of view and needed my assistance.7

  I was out the back door of the shop on the back street and free. Through sheer good luck I got away unharmed. Looking back I could see flashes of robot gunfire and hear the shots a little later. Soon the shots stopped. I knew what that meant.1

  ****

  I rushed as quickly as I could back to Rodi and the rest of the team. They were all hiding ready to go. A two wheeled cyber bike robot cam after me but was taken out by small missile fired by Rodi.

  Rodi had everyone arranged pointing their weapons out. Nothing happened, we were ready to leave at the first sign of trouble. I sat there and was passed a hot drink. My hand was shaking when I took it.

  "Where is Loop?" asked Rodi.

  "The town was full of cyber animals. He stayed behind to hold them back so I could escape" I told him realising Loop was most likely dead.

  "Cyber animals what were they Horses..not Bulls..don't tell me Pigs.." asked Rodi.

  "Horses and ... sheep" I said.

  "Oh no, not sheep, why did it have to be sheep?" said Rodi.

  I could tell from the body language around me that the soldiers lost heart. The prospect of living past an encounter with cyber sheep seemed about nil.

  Rodi looked at me.

  "Did you see him die?" asked Rodi.

  "No"

  "OK we wait ready to go until the time agreed." then Rodi raised his voice to the others "and I wouldn't expect any different response from any of you if it was my turn".

  I looked at Rodi , "Loop told me a message in code to tell you err Klatu..." I said wondering.

  "Klaut barman momento?" said Rodi helpfully.7

  "Yes.." I replied

  "Your hover craft is full of eels?" said Rodi.1

  "No, hang on Klaatu barada ... err" I started.

  "Klaatu barada ningno ? - You like the taste of algebra?" said Rodi.

  "No. Klaatu barada.... "

  "Klaatu barada kindo, Nuke the place from Orbit it's the only way to be sure?" said Rodi.3

  "No,errr Klaatu barada Nivia?" I tried.1

  Rodi look confused "You know the secret of the 39 steps?"5

  "Your secret code language needs work" I observed " give me a minute/"

  "just relax, grieve, take a nice drink of tea" said Rudi.

  "That's tea?" I said spitting it out.

  "Yeh?"

  "I thought it was coffee?"

  "No, we just say that because it tastes more like bad coffee than bad tea . Technically its bad tea" said Rodi.

  "Thats' bad." I said "Remind me next time I get rescued, to be rescued by people with better beverage supplies".

  "Wellcome to the machine world... OK the message was, just off the top of your head."

  "Klaatu barada nikto" I said.

  Rodi stop and looked at me. "Are you sure?" he asked?. I nodded.

  "were the words 'all sins forgiven mentioned'". Rodi asked.

  I nodded, "crew expendable" I confirmed.

  "What have you done to us slave princess?" said Rodi. In his eyes I saw the growing solumn resolve of a man who had been told he needed to die.

  "She's given us a passport to Greenland." said a voice behind me.

  I turned around and saw the naked figure of Loop on a bicycle. I immediately covered my eyes. Rodi carried on as if nothing was different. Rodi hugged Loop.5

  "Loop you made it man, how wonderful, I can now live my life without spending every second in valley of friendless regret. " said Rodi in an odd voice with his back to me. I notice he had a very well toned ass, then looked away.

  "When have I not made it?" said Loop.

  "One day you will say that and be wrong. okay I'll treat you wounds and she will find something for you to wear" said Rodi.

  I was sent off to go from soldier to soldier looking for any spare bits of uniform. They carried a lot of spare uniforms and most had stretch bands. I guess they were all Werewolves and they got through clothes faster than a teenage super rich fashionista.

  "What were you doing how did you esca
pe?" I said passing over a pair of combat trousers while covering my eyes.2

  "Never do what the enemy expects you to do and in this case the enemy never expected me to streak naked out of there. It's a maximum."4

  While I hunted for clothing, Loop explain the situation and plan strategy.

  ***1

  After I came back He got the troops together.

  "We have a mission from Alpha Control." Loop said dressing " We've come across an asset, a significant asset. She won't endanger your life telling you what her secret is and I don't want you asking it. Normally we meet a slave, we hand them over to the nearest rescue centre. This one, she special. I don't know how special - I can say she was in the heart of the enemy camp. She must have learnt stuff the people at Alpha command feel is desperately important to the effort. Looking at this girl my guess is many people died getting her to this point. I don't want their sacrifice to be invain."2

  At this point I thought I should put my hand up and say 'no, it was all a mistake' but Loop was asking people to die for me and I thought I wouldn't spoil the moment.

  "We need to evade the unicorns. I think we took out most of the sheep" Loop began. The men quietly cheered at that. "We need to get to an extraction point. Alpha control are going to work up a plan then leave instructions at our rendezvous point k80. From now on in maximum evasion. We don't make any contact with support camps. If we leave a trail to any human support then the machines will attack and tortcuher any one who helps us. This mission is all sins forgiven. If you don't feel you can handle that, tell me now, you can evade and egress your way to a support base no questions asked. All I can say is we could do with everyone of you to make this work."4

  Their was a pause. Rodi looked around "we are with you Loop, all sins forgiven"

  "Ok" started Loop "I'm glad to hear that men, just remember our motto. Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds"10