When I get out of the car, I look down at the weeds between the bricks, avoiding Ryder’s gaze.
“Hey,” he says, taking my hand in his, “I grew up on the streets. This is a whole lot better.”
I look up at him, and his warm smile melts my insides. I can do this. With him at my side, I can deal with my mother.
But when we climb the five steps to the front door, I still feel like throwing up. I haven’t been here for a long time, and the last time was when my mother and I had a screaming match at the front door. I have no idea what is going to happen, but I will have to try to stay calm and keep myself together, for Ryder’s sake.
I take a deep breath when he rings the doorbell.
When the door opens, my shoulders drop in relief—it’s only Rose.
“Sis! Happy Thanksgiving.” We fall into a warm hug, and I turn back to Ryder.
“You’ve met Rose, right?”
He nods. “It’s good to meet you again. I can see the resemblance.”
Pulling her gray-and-pink argyle cardigan down her navy pleated skirt, Rose breaks into a grin, and I thump Ryder on his arm playfully. “Yeah, we sure look like twins.”
My sister opens the door wide to let us in. “Come in. Mom is waiting for you in the kitchen.”
The house hasn’t changed much. The same pictures grace the hallway as they did ten years ago: mostly of Rose playing the piano and my little sister Jasmine the violin. One picture of me at nine years old remains, in a ludicrous pink ballet outfit complete with tutu, my body contorted in an arabesque pose. Ryder comes to a halt in front of the picture.
“You?”
Closing my eyes, I groan, which makes him chuckle so I yank him away towards the familiar aroma of onion, garlic, and ginger that is drifting from the kitchen. My mother is in her usual spot overlooking the stove, oblivious of our arrival. In the time I haven’t seen her, she seems to have aged, having a lot more white hair than I remember. She looks like an old, guileless Chinese woman who couldn’t hurt a fly. But when she turns and notices us, her expression changes, a fake smile twisting her mouth.
“Lily-ah.”
I give her a swift dip of the head. “Ma.”
Ryder looks at me quizzically. I mouth, “Later.”
She points her finger at him. “This your boyfriend?”
“Yeah. Ryder, this is my mom.”
He stretches out his hand and shakes my mother’s. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, ma’am.”
“Hmm, not Chinese, but good looking and big boss, too. Don’t understand how my Lily is lucky like this.”
I cringe, but Ryder smiles, seemingly amused. “Well, thank you, ma’am. But I think the lucky one is me. I feel fortunate to have found your daughter.”
Sliding his arm around my waist, his dark eyes bore into mine, and my insides turn into a molten mass. I have to admit, my mother is right for once—I am lucky to have him.
My mother’s shrill voice breaks the moment between us. “You and Lily sit down first. Food ready soon.”
We make our way to the dining room and sit down at the round table that has already been set with bowls, cups, spoons, and chopsticks. Rose sits down opposite us when the doorbell rings, and she jumps up to open the door.
Eyebrows raised, Ryder promptly takes the opportunity to ask me, “Lily?”
I sigh. “That’s my real name, but I’ve always hated it. I got people to call me by my initial, and when I left home I changed it to Elle. Still, my mom refuses to call me anything else.”
“I don’t mind it. Lily is a sweet name. Maybe I should start calling you that.”
I narrow my eyes at him. “Don’t you dare.”
Smirking, he leans over and kisses me. Grabbing his shirt, I pull him closer, wanting more of him, when we’re rudely interrupted by a familiar high voice.
“Well, well, well. That’s a first, my sister with a date. Elle, aren’t you going to introduce me to that glorious male specimen of yours?”
My little sister Jasmine flashes a flirtatious smile at Ryder and stretches out her perfectly manicured hand. Grudgingly, I introduce them to each other. Jasmine is so different from Rose and me. My mom’s favorite, she is used to getting her way from being overindulged all her life. And when it comes to men, she flirts them into bed even if they’re taken. My mother has no idea what she is really like—Jasmine knows how to put on her demure, innocent face whenever she needs to. But I am not letting her get away with it this time. When she holds Ryder’s hand a tad too long, I grab his other and yank him back into his chair.
“So Jas, are you here by yourself? Don’t tell me hell has frozen over and you haven’t been able to get a date.”
She sniggers. “Darling, I chose to come alone. After all, I know it’s hard for you to imagine, but men fall at my feet wherever I am. It gets a bit tiring sometimes.”
What the hell? I am about to give her a piece of my mind, but Rose saves me just in time by announcing the latest arrival.
“Everyone, Peter is here.”
A typical Asian geek with black-rimmed glasses steps into the room, waving at us. I vaguely remember Rose complaining to me about how our mother wanted to matchmake her with a suitable Chinese guy, preferably a doctor or lawyer. This must be him.
While Rose introduces him to everyone, I notice Jasmine is completely ignoring Peter the geek; instead batting her lashes at Ryder. I feel like pulling her perfect curls like I used to when I was little and she hid my favorite doll. To my relief, Ryder pays no attention to her and slides his hand across my thigh under the table, his touch burning my skin.
“Food’s ready!”
Rose balances two steaming plates full of homemade dumplings and sets them on the table. My mother follows with more plates and sits down, gesturing at the food. “Come. Eat, eat.”
When we’re tucking into the dumplings, she says, “So happy, see whole family eating together. Peter here too. How’s your mom?”
He pushes his glasses up his pimple-covered nose. “Fine, auntie. She sends her regards.”
“She tell me, you almost finished, almost lawyer. And you have internship already? Such a clever boy.”
I see my sister cringe, but Peter doesn’t seem to notice. “Yes, Auntie. I’ll be starting with Waters, Steen and Moore in January.”
“Great firm,” Ryder says. “I’ve done business with them before.”
They start talking about law and business so I lean over and whisper in Rose’s ear, “Don’t tell me you’re going out with that boring jerk.”
“I’m not. But you know mom, she’s been trying to set me up with him. I can’t get rid of him. You know her; I don’t have a choice.”
I ball my hands into fists. As she has done all through our childhood, our mother still waltzes over Rose, forcing her own opinions on her. And my sister, trying to be the perfect daughter, does everything she tells her to do, terrified to argue with her. When she was younger, she used to practice the piano for hours and study until she fell asleep across the desk. But I can’t believe she’s still listening to her now, especially when it comes to her love life.
“You’re a grown woman, Rose. Just get rid of the dork.”
Looking down at her bowl, she shakes her head, seemingly resigned to her fate. Ryder’s words come back to me and I realize how right he is. My sister still has a choice, even if she fears its repercussions. She has to realize that disobeying her mother won’t cause her life to fall apart. I’ll just have to keep working on her until she gets it.
Ryder places a dumpling in my bowl with his chopsticks, and pours the teapot to top up my and my sister’s cups, winking at me. I smile back at him, proud he remembers what I told him in the car. My mother gives an almost imperceptible nod in appreciation and asks, “So, how you meet Lily?”
Ryder casts a glance at me. “We have a few mutual friends.”
“How long you know her?”
“We’ve been together for a few weeks now.”
Ryder’s
hand hasn’t left my thigh, and is now tracing lazy circles on my sensitive skin with his thumb. My breath hitches as hot shivers shoot up, settling between my legs.
My mother lifts her parted chopsticks. “Ah, only few weeks. So you don’t really know Lily. I tell you, she’s difficult daughter. Always give me trouble. Never listen. Even now, still not listen to me, her own mother.”
I freeze. Here it is, the moment I’ve been dreading. She’s provoking me into an argument as expected, but this time I’m going to stay calm. I am not going to make a scene.
Straightening my back, I take a deep breath. “No, you’ve got that wrong. You never listened to me. Ever.”
“Listen? Listen what? You only complain. Never good enough. I cook for you, wash for you, I do everything. I take care of you.”
“The only thing you care about is yourself and what other people say.” My voice cracks a little, and my vow to stay calm starts shattering. I feel Ryder’s hand tightening on my thigh.
“You just ungrateful. And lazy, rude, no respect. Why not like your two sisters? Me, unlucky, have you as daughter.” She picks up a dumpling with her chopsticks and plops it in her mouth.
My sisters and Peter continue eating, staring down at their food. They’ve seen it all before, and as usual, pretend nothing has happened. The clicking of chopsticks against bowls punctuates the tense silence around the table.
I clench my teeth—I am about to explode. No, no, no. I have to control myself.
A hot flush creeping up my face, I slowly put down my chopsticks on the rim of my bowl. Despite any vow I’ve made, I should not allow her to insult me like that. But before I can open my mouth, Ryder’s hand leaves my leg and settles on my arm. He clears his throat and stares at my mother.
“I’m sorry to say this, but I’ll have to disagree with you. You’re wrong about your daughter. She is the sweetest, most caring, most beautiful woman I’ve ever met. She’s very special to me. She makes my life worth living for. You should be proud of her.”
Ryder’s jaw tenses. “And I can’t allow you to hurt her like this. Even if you are her mother,” he says in a clipped, authoritative tone. He stands up, taking my hand, and nods politely to everyone around the table, who have stopped eating and are staring at him wide-eyed.
“Thank you for lunch. Happy Thanksgiving.”
I can’t remember walking out the door and getting in the car. The wipers are on, soft, wet sleet seeking to cover the windscreen while we slowly drive back towards the city. I cover my cold cheeks with my hands. What has just happened? No one has ever dared to stand up against my mother. Especially not my sisters, who have always turned a blind eye or made up excuses for her. And today wasn’t even too bad; she has called me worse.
I look at Ryder’s profile: his long lashes, thick furrowed eyebrows, and square jaw, still tense from anger. He is so good-looking; he is perfect in every single way. And I still can’t believe what he did for me. How did I ever deserve him? My throat thickens, and a warmth enters my chest, filling it, overflowing it until it feels like it will burst.
That’s when I know I’m falling hopelessly in love with him.
Ryder
I’m fuming over what just happened. How can Elle’s mother humiliate her like that while she hasn’t even said anything to provoke her? How can a mother do that to her own flesh and blood? But I’m the wrong person asking this question. If anyone, I should know how mothers can mistreat their children.
“Are you okay?” I ask her in the car, after leaving her in silence for a while—for me to calm down, and for her to mull over what happened at lunch. I am not sure if I’ve done the right thing by standing up for her, but I couldn’t let her mother get away with it. Only now I am starting to understand why she has such a strained relationship with her mom.
“I’m fine. I was just surprised, that’s all.”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know if I should’ve done it, talk back to your mom like that and walk away from lunch. But I just couldn’t stand seeing you hurt.”
She puts her hand on my arm.
“Don’t apologize. You have no idea how grateful I am. You were completely, totally awesome back there, and I’m still trying to get over it, I guess. You’re just about my favorite person in the world right now. I really owe you one.”
I take her hand and lace her fingers with mine.
“Is that so? Hmm… I’m sure I can think of a way you can pay me back. Actually, many different ways.”
She shoots me a sassy smile. “I’ll be more than happy to oblige.”
Feeling lightheaded, I’m not sure where I’m driving to, but my automatic pilot brings us back to Manhattan, to TriBeCa, and an instant later we’re in front of the underground car park of my building. The door opens and I drive in, excited and at the same time a little apprehensive. This is the first time I have ever taken Elle to my place. In fact, this is the first time I have ever taken a woman here; I have another apartment in my office building just for that purpose. But there’s no way in hell I’m taking her there. She deserves better, much better. And this is my chance to finally fulfill the fantasy that I’ve had since I’ve first laid eyes on her: to take her in my bed, again and again.
I park the car, open her door, and lead her to the lift, resting my hand on the small of her back. After I press the button, she says, “So this is where you live. Are you sure you want me to see your secret hideout?”
It’s like she knows this is a big deal for me, taking her home. So when the lift doors open, I push her all the way to the back wall. With one hand, I reach behind me to tap my keycard and close the distance between us until I feel her soft body against mine, putting my hands on either side of her head.
“I am sure. Very sure.”
I bend down and bury my face into her neck, breathing in her exhilarating scent. Brushing my lips against her soft skin, I get a taste of her sweetness, and when she lets out a moan, I nuzzle my way along her jaw until I reach the corner of her mouth. Her eyes flutter closed while my hands glide into her long, silky hair. And when I cover her lips with mine, her arms loop around my neck, her fingers entwining in my hair. I kiss her deeper, needing more of her. Her soft lips part, and I sweep my tongue inside to taste her, explore her, devour her. My hands wrap around her waist, pulling her closer against me. I want to feel more of her, bury myself in her. I can’t wait to lay her out on my bed, her hair spread out on my pillow while I’m deep inside her.
The lift comes to a stop, its doors sliding open. Reluctantly I break our kiss, which has both of us out of breath. I take her hand to walk her into the foyer of my penthouse, and wonder if she’s impressed. I’ve spent a fortune on the interior design to achieve a comfortable feel with dark wooden floors, oversized couches, and a wood-burning fireplace. But even if she is, she certainly doesn’t show it. She doesn’t even glance at the wrap-round, extensive view of Manhattan and the Hudson River. Instead, she detaches herself from me and singles out the glass display cabinet in the middle of the living area where I keep my collection of rocks.
Throwing my jacket on a chair, I make my way to the wet bar to fix her a glass of Petrus Pomerol 1998, my favorite red wine, and a sparkling water for myself. We clink glasses, and I watch her soft lips connect with the glass, tasting the wine.
“Mmm, this is delicious.”
I slide my hand around her waist. “Not half as delicious as you.”
Flashing me a shy smile, she points at the glass display. “Where did you get these from?”
“From my climbs.”
I put my glass down to open the cabinet and take out a handful of rocks.
“This one is from the summit of Kilimanjaro. I almost didn’t make it to the top, so this one is precious to me. And I found this one when I climbed Mount Everest last year. Every time I climb, I like to take these little mementos with me. They are reminders of my achievements.”
Elle takes the rocks from me, one by one, and studies them.
“They’
re cool. You should have kept the one we found in Montauk.”
“No, I wanted you to have it, so you’ll always remember the time we spent together.”
Her gaze locks with mine. “That weekend is burned into my brain. I’m pretty sure I’ll never forget it.”
“Well, I sure as hell won’t.” Without taking my eyes off Elle, I put the rocks back in the display case. I pull her close against my chest and lean down slowly, gazing into her darkened eyes. I am about to savor another taste of her sweet lips, when my phone rings. Cursing loudly, I yank it out of my pocket, intending to switch it off completely. But when I check who is calling, my irritation immediately falls away—it’s my family from Chicago, undoubtedly still enjoying their long, drawn-out lunch with the huge extended family.
“Ryder, figlio mio. Happy Thanksgiving.”
“Happy Thanksgiving, mamma. Are you still having lunch?”
“Yes, of course. I made the polpette you like so much, but now you’re not here to enjoy them. Switch on your camera, I want to see you.”
I press the camera button and smile into the screen when I see my aunt and uncle waving.
“Who else is there?”
The camera pans to the familiar long wooden table laden with food and my cousins sitting around it, pulling funny faces. It makes me smile.
The camera zooms back to my aunt. “We miss you, figlio. I think it’s the first time you’re not here at Thanksgiving. Now I’m curious, who’s this special girl you stayed in New York for?”
“Okay, okay. Hold on a minute.”
I cross the room towards Elle, who has made herself comfortable on the couch next to the window. With my phone face-down, I curve my arm around her shoulders and whisper, “My family wants to see you.”
She mouths, “It’s okay.”
I lift up my phone and place the screen in front of us.
“Mamma and pappa, meet my girlfriend, Elle. Elle, this is my crazy family.”
Burn Into Me Page 18