“Yet just now, you were harsh with her.”
The smile evaporated from Lily’s face, her voice turning somber. “Yes, I was. Sometimes I think that is the only way I can reach her. She will forgive me.”
“Will she? Is it that easy?”
“Yes. She always does. As I will forgive her.” Lily wiped her cheeks once more, then began to offer the handkerchief back to Sebastian before thinking the better of it and crumbling it into her fist. She stood from the bench. “We are sisters, brother-in-law—do not underestimate that bond.”
Lily walked out of the evergreen alcove, leaving Sebastian on the bench.
He leaned back, eyes going to the puffy clouds dotting the sky.
A name. Now he had a name. Gregory.
But more importantly, now he had proof that the beliefs he had about Brianna—about who she really was—were founded.
Proof that he hadn’t just made the biggest mistake in his life.
~~~
“So easy it was. You believe, deep down, that you deserve love. That it was coming for you. That it was yours by right. Such a silly girl. I did not even have to work at making you believe I loved you. But you are unlovable, Brianna. Completely unlovable. Absolutely nothing special about you. There is not one word you uttered to me that did not bore me. It is a wonder your very own family can stand you.”
The creak of the door made Brianna look up, yanking her from the cruelty filling her head.
“Brianna, I apologize. I was looking for Wynne.” The duke stood in the open doorway of the painting studio by the stables. “Have you seen her?”
Lily and Sebastian had only been gone a few minutes and Brianna couldn’t speak, not yet. She had come into the studio for refuge, to cry, hidden. Shaking her head in answer to the duke’s question, she hoped it would be enough to make him leave.
“What are you doing in the studio? It is unnaturally stuffy in here—suffocating.” He walked in, going to the side windows to pull the drapes wide and open the windows. “At least open a window and let some light and air in here.”
He turned back to her and then stopped. “Have you been crying, Brianna?”
Quickly wiping her cheeks, Brianna shrugged, averting her eyes as she leaned on the arm of the wooden chair she sat in. “It is nothing.”
The duke walked over to her, planting himself in front of her and leaning casually back on Wynne’s large wooden working table. His eyes studied her for a moment. “What is it? Seb?”
Brianna forced a breath down deep into her lungs. “No. Lily. Lord Newdale has asked for her hand in marriage.”
“But that is good news, no? Lily is quite enamored with him—more so than the other two—or so Wynne tells me.”
“I told her no.”
“You what? Why?”
“I do not know if he is the right man for my sister.”
The duke didn’t answer right away, instead, crossing his arms over his chest as he contemplated her. “Forgive me if I say this bluntly, Brianna, but do you get to make that decision?”
“I do if it means saving Lily from a wastrel of a husband.”
“Do you know something of Lord Newdale, Brianna? If so, you need to tell me, and I will ensure the man exits Notlund immediately. With a harsh kick in the backside, if necessary.”
Brianna waved her hand. “No—I do not want to overreact—I just wanted to give Lily more time with Lord Bepton and Lord Rallager. More time to make a decision this momentous. I did not mean to ban her from Lord Newdale completely—I just need to discover more about him.”
The duke’s shoulders relaxed. “What do you mean, discover?”
She shrugged, sighing. “You may as well be informed—now that Seb knows, I imagine he will tell you regardless. I hired a bow street runner to investigate Lord Newdale—all of Lily’s suitors, actually. The other two do not concern me, but Lord Newdale, he is the one I still have questions about. So I told Lily she could not commit to him right away, merely to gain some time.”
The duke nodded slowly, hand on his chin, and Brianna could see his mind working. “And what is it in particular that gives you pause for concern?”
“His revenue comes from a failing mine, so I am, of course, concerned he sees Lily more as a bank than a wife.” Brianna frowned, wondering if she should continue. But again, Sebastian already knew, so he would tell the duke regardless. “And the man visits brothels. A number of them.”
The duke coughed, rubbing his forehead until he stumbled out some words. “What…why…why would you need to know more about that?”
And now the duke knew of her depravity. Brianna eyed him, her voice beaten. “I did not wish to investigate him in this particular area, but I need to know if his…intentions in that realm of life include vices he cannot control. That he does not have unusual tastes that may harm Lily.”
The duke shook his head, his mouth opening and closing several times with no words escaping.
Brianna would not have thought him the skittish type when it came to the topic of sex. But one never knew what was really going on in another’s mind. Which was exactly why she needed to investigate Lord Newdale so thoroughly.
The duke found his voice. “I can help you with the mine. Learn how viable it is long term, or what other options he has for his land. And the brothel part—I cannot believe I am even saying this, but I will make some discreet inquiries. I want as much as you to find Lily a good match. And if your concerns are warranted, I will back you in dissuading her from Lord Newdale. I will also see if Wynne can dissuade Lily from hastily answering Lord Newdale’s proposal. That should give us some time to get proper answers.”
Brianna knew she had been handling the investigation as well as anyone could have, but a mountain of relief still lifted from her shoulders. That the duke had the same information and could also wield his influence over Lily—it would be a tremendous help.
“Thank you, your grace. I appreciate anything you can discover of Lord Newdale.”
He nodded. “Now tell me about this runner you hired. How did Seb discover him?”
“I met with the man this morning near Pepperton. Seb followed me.”
The duke chuckled. “So that is where you have been disappearing to in the mornings?”
Brianna blinked hard at him, surprised. “You know I am gone in the mornings?”
“I know every single horse that comes and goes from the stables.”
“But you have never asked about it.”
“I did not think I needed to,” the duke said. “You could have asked for my help earlier, Brianna. I would have been happy to assist you. And it would have saved you from sneaking about. It is no wonder Seb went out after you.”
“To invade my privacy? He cannot respect me as you do?”
“I have never asked you where you went because you return safely, and I trust you will not put yourself in harm’s way, Brianna. But that does not mean it has not taken me a while to get used to the idea of your solitary morning jaunts.”
The duke relaxed his arms, resting his palms on the table. “Seb, on the other hand, is new at this. He is now your husband. So of course he followed you. Which is actually a relief to me—I do not have to worry about you if I know he is following.”
“You were worried about me?”
“Of course. How could I not be?”
“I apologize, your grace. I did not intend to worry you.”
The duke shrugged. “It was my choice to worry instead of trail you. But Seb is learning to trust you as well. He wants to know you, Brianna. Wants to make a life with you.”
“He told you that?”
“He does not need to. I know him. We have been friends for a very long time.”
Brianna’s eyes dropped, resting on the duke’s dark boots. Apparently, everyone but her had recognized Sebastian’s obvious sentiment for her.
So why had she missed it? Why did she not believe it?
A lump formed in her chest. She knew exactly why she
did not believe it. The very thing that would continue to keep her from believing it.
Her eyes crinkled as she pinned the duke with a solemn look. “Do you trust him—Sebastian?”
“Yes. With my life.” Without hesitation the words came, genuine, from the duke.
Brianna stared at him, searching for something to make her believe what seemed to come so easily to everyone around her. “How can you say that?”
“What do you mean?”
“How can you trust someone that unequivocally?” Brianna shook her head, attempting to manifest words that could explain. “You say something like that, and there is no question in your voice. But how can you really know what is in another’s mind? For what someone puts forth to the world can be very different from what true intentions are.”
He nodded, an understanding smile crinkling his face. “That is true. But it is not only instinct that informs my belief, it is history as well. Never once have I questioned Seb’s honor. His integrity—although his actions next to the stream with you were highly suspect.”
Brianna could not help a small smile from crossing her face.
“You will recall, we were in the wars together,” the duke said. “And through all of the death and injury that surrounded us—when sane men would have run and not have been called cowards, Seb was loyal—to his own detriment—to me, to the mission. He is loyal to a fault. Quite simply, I trust him because he deserves it.”
“I did not realize that about him.”
“You have only known him for a week, Brianna, so it is forgivable,” the duke said. His fingers tapped the table as he watched at her. “Here is what I know about Seb, Brianna. He has never once failed me. His intentions are pure. But he is also always moving. This past month—between London and Notlund—is the longest I have ever seen him stay in one place. He runs. From one location to another. Since the wars, he has always been like that. Nothing makes him stay in one place for more than a few days. But not now. It has been fascinating to witness.”
The duke stood from the table, stopping in front of her. “And quite honestly, Brianna, there is only one reason he is here, feet planted at Notlund.”
Brianna looked up to him, her voice tiny. “Me?”
He gave one crisp nod. “Yes. So that is how I know he wants to make a life with you. He would already be gone, were that not true.”
{ Chapter 8 }
The pounding hooves sidled Brianna, appearing out of nowhere. Halfway down the open border of the south woods where she could really let Moonlight fly in the morning mist, she looked at the snorting black nostrils next to her.
Her head craned back. Sebastian.
She yanked up on the reins.
Moonlight slowed, then pranced in a circle, upset that the run had been interrupted. Brianna tried to control the horse’s fidgeting while glaring at Sebastian. “I was the only one in the stables—how did you catch up to me so quickly?”
Sebastian’s mouth curled up, the devil smile appearing with his shrug. “Seven days’ worth of you slipping from under my arm in the morning and making me trail you from far behind, and Little Tommy is now under orders to ready a horse for me the second you step foot in the stables.”
“Tommy? He was asleep in the hay when I went by him.”
“You must have woken him.”
“Yes, well, next time I will be sure to kick him awake so I do not have to saddle Moonlight myself. Apparently, the little bugger was bamboozling me with his fake snores.”
Sebastian chuckled. “Quite possible. He is not the most enthusiastic worker.”
Brianna tugged on the reins, finally stilling Moonlight’s excited steps. “Well, there is no need for you to follow me. I am just out for a ride, as I have been every other day this past week. You need not worry about a clandestine meeting for me this morning.”
“Or I could simply accompany you.”
“Or you could make your way back to the stables.”
“Are you afraid I will put your riding skills to shame?” He smiled at her, charm oozing. Damn if it didn’t make him look even more attractive. And he full well knew it.
Her frown deepened. She was completely aware he was baiting her. She had just spent the past week successfully avoiding her new husband, or at least ensuring she had the barrier of other people in the same room with them.
That, combined with retiring early every night and feigning sleep when he entered his bedroom, and Brianna had managed to have very little real conversation with Sebastian.
She knew she couldn’t continue it forever, but she had hoped the avoidance could go on for a long stretch. But now he was right in front of her, no buffer available. No buffer except to keep the horses moving.
Brianna didn’t want company—she never did when out riding, but what did it matter if he rode along with her? If he became too bothersome, she could unleash Moonlight and be free of him.
She gave him a curt nod. “If you can keep up, I will not resist your presence.”
She turned Moonlight, nudging her into motion. The mare was only too happy to oblige, and sprang forward, back up to her interrupted pace in seconds.
Brianna had the jump on Sebastian, but within two minutes, he was next to her, his black horse going stride for stride with hers. She pushed Moonlight harder, taking the lead, and turned inward to a trail that snaked through the woods.
Stuck behind her on the skinny path, Sebastian grumbled a laugh, and the second the trail widened, he attacked, passing her and sticking her with the dust.
Back and forth they traded the lead, mud flying as they crossed over the stream five times, weaving along the forest trails, clearing fallen trees, and bolting through two wide-open pastures. By the time they had raced down the last grassy knoll, far from Notlund, Brianna was gasping for breath, her muscles screaming for her to stop.
She looked over at Sebastian. He was watching her, smiling—not winded—but she could see the sweat on his brow.
Back near the bank of the stream, Sebastian pulled up, slowing his black horse. Even exhausted, Brianna wasn’t about to give in and stop first, so she was silently ecstatic when he halted and she was able to follow suit. As, she imagined, was Moonlight.
Sebastian was off his horse, removing his gloves and to her side before Moonlight’s feet had stopped.
His hand came up to help her down. Brianna grabbed it, her thigh slipping off the pommel of the saddle. Instantly, his free arm came up around her waist, and he slid her downward along his body. Unexpected, but she had to admit it was easier than jumping down from the saddle in her riding habit.
Sebastian didn’t release her right away, instead, holding her captive between him and her horse.
Busy energy still coursing through her body, she looked up at him, smiling. “That was fun.”
A half smile caught his face as his thumb came up, wiping a splotch of mud from her temple. “You say it like you are surprised you could actually have fun with me.”
“Well…” Her head tilted back and forth noncommittally.
He squeezed her waist, bringing her tight to his body.
She laughed, pushing off from his chest and grabbing Moonlight’s reins. “I just was not expecting it. I have never ridden with anyone like that. Usually I am anxious, waiting impatiently when I ride with another.”
She patted Moonlight’s white neck and then started to walk her horse down the grassy bank to the stream. “I did not realize you had such skill with a horse, but I suppose I should have guessed.”
“Why is that?” Sebastian joined her, bringing his black stallion to the water’s edge.
“Your work with the horses. You must know just how to push them to get the best from them in order to choose the right ones. The duke has said there is no one better than you at recognizing horses of great worth.”
“Then I owe him a thank you if he informed your opinion thusly.” Sebastian tied back his reins to his saddle, letting the horse wander along the bank of the stream, nosing a
bout for the juiciest grass.
“The duke’s opinion only verified what I just witnessed.” Taking off her gloves and dark blue riding jacket, now splattered with mud, Brianna knelt by the stream, dipping her hands into the water. “I do realize you could have gone on much longer than me.”
“I cannot believe you just uttered those words.” His feet stopped next to her and he bent, balancing on one knee. He cupped water to splash his face and then the back of his neck.
Brianna looked at him, chuckling, watching the water drip down his neck and soak the top of his white linen shirt. He had foregone a jacket this morning—probably in too much of a rush to catch her. Again, like every morning this week, she had been forced to slip out from under his arm over her belly that morning. She would have to become more skilled at not waking him.
He looked over to her, smirk on his face.
She rolled her eyes, splashing a spray of water his way. “Do not think it was easy for me to admit to such a thing. Do you ever enter races with your horses?”
“Occasionally—minor ones, but only when we are trying to convince an owner or investor of the worth of our breeding lines. We have jockeys for the major races like the Derby and Oaks at Epsom Downs.”
Sebastian sat back on the edge of the stream, crunching small, smooth pebbles as he stretched his legs out in front of him and leaned back on his palms. “And then we have a number of other riders throughout England and the continent that race our horses.”
“They are successful?”
“Our horses do have an admirable winning percentage behind them.”
Brianna pulled a handkerchief from the pocket in her skirt, dipping it into the water and wiping away the other splotches of mud she could feel on her face.
“I apologize for the mud splatters,” Sebastian said, pointing at her face.
“It is nothing. Mud only signifies a good ride.” Brianna looked over her shoulder at him. “And I am not the only one with a splotch or two.”
Smirking, she turned, leaning back to him to wipe clear two mud spots that remained on the side of his cheek, mixing with the dark stubble.
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