Earl of Destiny

by K. J. Jackson

  Her hand lifted, weak, and she grabbed his left wrist just below the bandages wrapping his arm. “Seb—what I said—I did not mean it. I was only trying to gain time. Give you a chance to cut free. I—”

  “Stop. I knew exactly what you were doing, Bree. And I have been in awe of your courage ever since. You knew what was coming, the pain, and you did it anyway.”

  Eyes closing, her head shook as her face twisted. Her fingers dropped from his wrist. “But at the mill. You left me. I saw you leave. I thought…”

  “Brianna, look at me.” His palm went to her cheek and she opened her eyes. “I only went to get a horse. I did not know how far I could carry you.”

  “You were not leaving me?”

  “No. Never.” He leaned in, his face just above hers, his hand cupping her jaw. “You are my love, my happiness, Bree. For today and tomorrow. You are my fate. Never doubt that.”

  Tears welled in her eyes, a single drop slipping out and trailing down to his fingers. But her smile went wide. “Today and tomorrow. I will not forget. Not now that my head and heart are finally working in accord.”

  “They are?”

  “Yes. All of me leading to you.”

  Words had never meant as much as those few from Brianna. Her head and her heart—all he had ever wanted from her.

  A knock at the door interrupted his thoughts, the door opening before he could reply. Lily came rushing into the room.

  “I heard voices.” Lily’s frantic eyes found Brianna. “Bree? Bree? Are you awake?”

  Lily rushed to the side of the bed.

  “How did you hear voices?” Sebastian asked, startled, as he pulled back so Lily could see her sister.

  “I was sleeping in the hallway.” Lily landed on the bed, her hands gripping Brianna’s face. “Bree? You are back to us?”

  “Gentle.” Sebastian put his hand on Lily’s shoulder, cautioning her.

  She merely shrugged his hand away. “Bree?”

  A smile came to Brianna’s lips. “I am, Lils.”

  Lily’s head dropped onto Brianna’s chest, a sob racking her body. Brianna’s shaking hand went to the back of Lily’s head, caressing it.

  Lily looked up to Brianna, her voice vehement. “Do not ever do this to me again, Bree. The first time was hard enough, but then this.” Her head swung back and forth. “This was beyond…you were a step away from death. From leaving us. From leaving me.”

  “I am sorry, Lils.”

  Sebastian stood up from the bed, his hand going to Lily’s shoulder once more. “Do not harangue your sister any longer. She just awoke and is weak.”

  Lily glanced up over her shoulder at him, her annoyed glare telling Sebastian she would scold her sister any time she chose to, and he had nothing to say about it.

  Sebastian almost had to laugh—he was holding his own scolding at his wife in check until she was recovered enough to hear it properly. Lily just did not have the same restraint as he.

  He squeezed Lily’s shoulder. “Watch your sister? I am going to gather some broth and the physician, and find Wynne and Rowe to tell them Bree is awake.”

  “They are across the hallway—Wynne and the duke,” Lily said, still looking up at Sebastian. “All of us moved to this hall after the first days. You did not notice?”

  “No.”

  “Seb, you have not left the room?” Brianna asked, concern in her voice evident. “How many days?”

  Sebastian shrugged against the two women staring at him. He honestly didn’t know how long Brianna had been prisoner to the darkness. He had lost track days ago.

  Lily turned back to Brianna. “No, your husband has not left this room. And it has been nine days.”

  Sebastian stepped in front of Lily, moving to kiss Brianna’s forehead. “I will be back in moments. Do not let your sister tire you.”

  Sebastian gave Lily a pointed look, then stood. He wondered if he looked as haggard as Lily did. Probably more so. He left the room, leaving Brianna in Lily’s care.

  ~~~

  Brianna’s head went to the side, watching Sebastian leave the room. The door clicked closed, and her eyes landed on Lily. “You were sleeping in the hall?”

  “Yes.” Lily scooted further onto the bed, tucking one of her legs underneath her. “The duke set a bedroll out there for me days ago after he tripped over me.”

  “You look like it.” Even though Lily’s blue eyes seemed bright, Brianna had never seen her sister with such dark circles under her eyes.

  “And you do not look exactly radiant, either, my sister.”

  A breathless chuckle escaped Brianna. “I do not imagine. Nine days?”

  Lily nodded, her face suddenly solemn.

  “And the duke tripped over you?”

  “It was dark and I was sleeping.” A smirk reached Lily’s lips. “He crashed down right on top of me. It was awkward for all involved.”

  “I can imagine,” Brianna said. “Sebastian made you sleep in the hall?”

  “He did no such thing, Bree.” Lily leaned over Brianna’s lap, pulling the coverlet down to expose Brianna’s thigh. She fiddled with the thick linen covering the wound that stretched across Brianna’s thigh, her bottom lip jutting out in a frown. “Your husband is many things, Bree but an ogre he is not. I could not sleep in here—it was too much…too much to bear, watching Sebastian.”

  “Why?” Brianna tried to bend her leg to see the wound when Lily lifted the linen, but Lily pushed her thigh down, holding it to the bed with a scolding glance. Brianna had no strength to fight her.

  Not answering her question, Lily reset the linen in place, pulling the coverlet back over Brianna’s leg. Setting the cover just right, it took her long moments before she took a breath and looked up at Brianna.

  “He was destroyed, Bree. There is no other word for it.” Lily’s eyes glazed over. “Utterly destroyed. He barely ate. Did not sleep. But it was his face. I could not bear to look at his face—I cannot even describe it. It was a though he landed in hell and could not quite accept the fact that he was there. Fighting it, but still having to watch the horror of it.”

  Lily shook her head, snapping her gaze to the present. Her voice took on a forced lightness. “Do not look so heartbroken over it, Bree. It is past. You are alive and here. And he is alive and here. You two are together again.”

  “But that is not all you are thinking of, Lils, is it?”

  Lily shrugged, her hand slipping along Brianna’s arm to grip her hand. “It is nothing. Just that…it made me realize things.”

  “What things?”

  Lily sighed. “I want that. Watching Sebastian watch you. I want that. A man that loves me to such an extreme that he would battle death just to hear my voice again. Not leave my side. It made me realize that what I was doing—with the season, with Newdale, Bepton, and Rallager—it is all a sham—a shimmering pretense I am attempting to create upon my life.”

  “You do not think any of them care for you like that?”

  “No. Newdale, maybe. But not yet. Maybe someday, but not now. But I do not know. Maybe you only get one chance at that in life. And I had my chance. So maybe what I want, and what I settle for are to be two different things.”

  “Do not say that, Lils. Maybe Newdale does feel exactly that for you.”

  “Maybe.” Lily sighed, waving her hand. “It is of no bother. Not now. Not when we need to concentrate on you while you recover. We will deal with the rest of my life at a later date.”

  “Lord Rallager, is he still here at Notlund?”

  “No. I sent him and his relations off a day after you and Sebastian returned. He understood. His aunt of course, bemoaned her inconvenience at their quick departure. It was just another sign that he was not the one—that he did not want to be near me—us—in a time of crisis. He is a good man, but his character is not worth my time.”

  A half smile came to Brianna’s lips. “You do know your mind, little sister.”

  The door opened and Sebastian walked in,
holding a bowl with steam rising from the top.

  His look immediately finding Brianna, relief flashed through his brown eyes. He walked across the room, setting the bowl on the bedside table. He turned to Lily. “I want to get some broth into her belly before the physician makes it up here. Can you find a maid to fill the bath?”

  Lily stood from the bed. “For you or for Bree?”

  Sebastian looked down at himself, giving the question consideration. His nose wrinkled. “Both of us, I suppose.”

  Lily nodded. “Excellent choice.” She stepped around Sebastian with a smirk on her face, going to the door.

  Shaking his head, Sebastian grabbed the chair by the bed and settled it close to the head of the bed. “Do you think you can sit up?”

  “Yes.”

  Sebastian slid an arm underneath her shoulders and lifted her, settling a stack of pillows behind her before leaning her back on them.

  His face next to hers, Brianna’s hand went to the dark gruff of a beard along his jaw. “This is new. Lily says you have not been sleeping.”

  He sighed, sitting down onto the chair and grabbing the bowl of broth. “Having a shave was the very last thing I have been worried about, Bree.”

  She smiled. “I like it. It is rugged.”

  “Then I will keep it around for a while, just for you.”

  He fingered the spoon in the bowl, stirring it. Steam still wafted up from the liquid.

  “Seb, I see that Lily is safe. But Harry—”

  “Harry is safe, Bree. Do you not trust me?”

  Brianna could hear the note of warning in his voice. “I do. Of course I do. But that does not stop my worry, Seb.”

  “No. You are already tired, Bree. I can see that. You need to sleep.”

  “Yes, but—”

  “Bree, all I want at the moment is to get this broth into you. See that the physician looks at you and your leg. Give you a bath. Take a bath myself. And then collapse next to you on this bed knowing full well that you are going to wake up and smile at me.”

  He stuck a pinky into the broth, testing the temperature.

  “We will discuss at length any and everything you can imagine up when our heads have been re-attached properly.” He nudged a spoonful of broth into her mouth. “Give me that, Bree? Just that?”

  The warm broth slid down her throat, warming her chest. A deep breath, and she nodded. “I am under your control, Seb.”

  { Chapter 21 }

  “This is a surprise.”

  Brianna looked up to see Sebastian coming in the door, a smile wide on his face.

  It had taken two days of sleeping, eating more and more, and copious amounts of tea before Brianna had managed to move her body in a half normal way.

  She couldn’t help her own inordinately proud smile as she watched him come across the room. “I know. All by myself I made it over here.” She patted the sidearm of the fat chair by the fireplace. “But I have been winded for the last ten minutes for my effort.”

  “At this pace, you should be back on Moonlight in a month.”

  “It had better be sooner than that.”

  Sebastian eased himself onto the sidearm of the chair facing her, his long legs casual in front of him. His left arm landed on his lap.

  Brianna hid a cringe. She could see Sebastian’s arm still panged him with pain during random movements, even though he hid it well.

  “That will suit Moonlight just fine. She has been antsy for you. Wynne took her out yesterday, but she said Moonlight just slumped through the ride, pouting.”

  “Is it wrong that that makes me slightly happy?”

  Sebastian chuckled. “Yes. Wrong. But understandable. And the same goes for Moonlight. That horse is as loyal as they come—you always say that about her, and it is true. Maybe tomorrow I can carry you down to the gardens and have her brought up from the stables. It might put a spring in her step.”

  “Maybe.” Brianna pointed to his left arm, still wrapped tight with strips of white linen from his wrist upward. The bandaging disappeared under the rolled-up sleeve of his shirt, and Brianna wondered just how far up the dressing went. “But you are not carrying me anywhere on that arm.”

  He glanced down. “It is doing well.”

  “Well enough for me to look at it?”

  “There is no need for you to see it, Bree. The physician has attended to it.”

  Her left eyebrow arched. “You have been poking and prodding at my leg for days, Seb, and yet you will not let me look at your arm?”

  He shrugged. “No.”

  “I will see it eventually. If not the scabs, the scars.”

  “Maybe.”

  Her head tilted, her eyes twinkling. “Do you have plans to never be naked with me again?”

  He smirked, chuckling. “Far from it, my wife. And well played. But I do not want any extra worry upon your mind. You need to concentrate on your own healing, not on mine.”

  “And I will concentrate much better once I do not have to worry on your healing.”

  Silent to the argument, he moved to bend down in front of her, balancing on his heels as he slid her robe and shift up her leg, exposing her thigh. “Aside from the winding, did your leg suffer the stroll over here well enough?”

  Brianna sighed. It was hard to argue with him when he was being this attentive to her. “It did. It swelled a bit with the movement, but at the same time, it also felt good to have a bit of weight on my leg.”

  She leaned forward, her palm running along his smooth cheek. “And you had the scruff shaved off.”

  Satisfied with his inspection of her thigh, Sebastian pulled down her robe and looked up to her, rubbing his jaw. “I had to before you thought me a derelict.”

  “Does this mean your head has been re-attached properly? That you are going to stop avoiding my questions?”

  Sebastian groaned, pushing up from the floor and moving backward to sit on the chair opposite Brianna. “Now?”

  She nodded.

  He looked to the low fire, grumbling something nonsensical under his breath. When his gaze swung back to Brianna, somberness had set into his brown eyes, darkening them. “Go ahead—no, wait.”

  Sebastian got up, moving to a side table holding a decanter of brandy and several glasses. He poured himself a full glass and then came back to Brianna, sinking heavy into the chair. His free hand flipped into the air as he took a healthy swallow. “There. I am ready. What is it you need to know, Bree?”

  “Harry. Where is he?”

  Sebastian didn’t flinch from the question. “He is with my mother.”

  “Your mother?” Shock sent Brianna’s eyes wide.

  “Yes. Both he and Frannie are with her at Callish Hall. They are my mother’s ‘destitute cousins from Cornwall’ that she has generously taken into her home. That is the story they have all committed to living.”

  “Is it believable?”

  “My mother has distant cousins all over England. It makes sense, and no one has questioned the story. That is how we will know them—distant cousins—at least until we are assured all threats to Harry have been removed. Which depends upon, of course, how his uncle’s trial goes. Or until Harry comes of age and can accept the title and whatever danger comes with it. Until then they are very well protected at Callish Hall, Bree.”

  “It is…” Her arms crossed over her belly as she slumped back in the chair, shaking her head.

  “What?”

  “It is perfect.” Her words were in awe. “Perfect and it will work for a length of time. Why would you not tell me, Seb? I would not have fought you on it—not once I knew where they were. I was furious at you for moving them without telling me, but I would not have fought you. I am not so stubborn that I would not have recognized the good sense of it.”

  He looked taken aback for a moment. “Thank you, for that, I think.”

  Her eyebrows arched at him. “But you were never going to tell me, were you?”

  “No. I was not about to tell you
where I moved them until Gregory was found.” His voice went hard as he leaned forward in the chair, his forearms balancing on his thighs as he clasped the glass between his palms, rolling it back and forth. “As much as you were going to hate me for it, Bree, I was not about to have you burdened with the knowledge of their whereabouts. Nor was I going to allow you to continue to place yourself in danger.”

  He sat straight, staring at her as he took a sip of brandy. “I make no apology for it, Bree.”

  Her eyes closed and her chin dropped to her chest. Loose brown locks slipped in front of her forehead, tickling her eyebrows. After all their time. After everything. Her words slipped out, soft in defeat. “You do not trust me.”

  “It has nothing to do with trust, Bree. It has to do with you being my wife. It has to do with the fact that I swore I would keep you safe.”

  He rose from the chair, standing in front of her. Her eyes still downcast, she could see his fingers straining around the rim of the brandy glass.

  “It has to do with my heart, my life that I did not want destroyed. My life with you. My life that I almost lost regardless, Bree. But I am still here. Not running. Still fighting to keep this life mine. To keep you mine. I will do anything to keep you safe, Bree. Even have you hate me, if that is what it takes.”

  “I do not hate you, Seb.” Her eyes rose to him, tears slipping to her cheeks. “I could never. I love you. All of me.”

  “All of you?”

  “All of me. You have banished that part that hesitated. You said you would, and you did, Seb. You have done everything you swore to me you would. And I…I…” She drew a shuddered breath, her words failing her.

  Sebastian dropped to his knees in front of her, setting the glass down so his hands could capture her face. “You what, Bree?”

  “I give you everything, Seb. Everything I am. Even my need for control. It is yours.”

  His hands tightened along her jaw, his voice rough. “I never wanted control, Bree. Only you. You were all I ever wanted. Your heart and your mind.”

  He pulled her forward, his lips meeting hers hard, promising her their life together, promising lust they had no right to entertain at the moment. But it still curled her toes and she had to stop herself from wanton thoughts.