Mister Diamond

by Chance Carter

  Joss wanted to slap her but refused to dignify the insult with a reply. If the woman wanted to shame her, she’d certainly succeeded. Joss’ cheeks flamed red as humiliation swept through her.

  “You don’t understand. I love him...” she whispered, more to herself than to Trina.

  “Oh, sweetie,” Trina smiled, looking her up and down, “and he loves me.”

  Joss swallowed hard, smart enough to know when to take her leave. She’d always been good at putting up her walls, protecting herself, and it was serving her well now.

  “I’m going to go,” Joss offered flatly, trying to keep her voice steady. “Tell Ryan I said goodbye.”

  “You can bet on that,” Trina nodded, gesturing her out the door.

  * * *

  Joss ran into Daniel and Willie just as the elevator was opening on the first floor. They hesitated, assessing her mood. She was visibly upset.

  “Joss, what is it? Is it Ryan?” Daniel asked, taking her by the elbow. She allowed him to lead her to the side, out of the way of other visitors.

  “Yes...no...he’s fine,” she insisted, noticing his eyes widening. “They moved him out of the ICU. He’s on the third floor.

  “How is he?” Willie asked, his eyes filled with concern.

  “I actually didn’t see him. He’s getting some tests done, but I did have the pleasuring of meeting his fiancée.”

  “Ryan’s not engaged. He would have said something to me. We talked about everything,” Daniel insisted, trying to hide his doubt. Joss raised her brows and nodded slowly, wordlessly conveying that she’d thought the same thing.

  “Crikey, that’s rough...” Daniel offered, his voice trailing off. “Is she there now, in his room?”

  “She sure is. Striking woman, quite beautiful, young.” Joss described, ready to put some miles between her and the happy couple. Everything was falling to pieces and she wasn’t far behind.

  “What’s her name?” Willie asked, taking her hand.

  “Trina something,” Joss shrugged, unable to recall if she’d even offered a last name.

  “I don’t remember him mentioning a Trina,” Willie frowned, offering his brother the benefit of the doubt.

  “I can assure you, she exists. She flew all the way to Fiji to see him.”

  “What do you want to do, Joss?” Daniel asked, his concern for her obvious in his expression.

  “I’m ready to go home.”

  “To the hotel?” Willie asked, wanting to ease her sadness.

  “To America.”

  Chapter 31

  Joss stared out the window of the plane, watching the rain stream down the glass, trying to keep her cool. No surprise, she still didn’t like flying. She tried to tune out her anxiety by putting on her headphones and listening to her music.

  ‘Crash’ was playing, by the Dave Matthews band and she laughed out loud at the irony, flipping to the next song on her play list.

  She settled in for the long flight, grateful she had a first class seat, stretching out her legs in front of her. The experience was much different from her last flight to Fiji. She was different. It was hard to believe how much she’d changed since that fateful trip, five months earlier.

  * * *

  When she left the South Pacific she had been so lost, so confused. It had taken her months to reacclimatize, to shake the island out of her system, for her heart to mend. Over time, the guys had reached out to her, all but one, and asked to see her, to spend time with her, but she just couldn’t.

  Ryan had phoned her almost the minute she’d walked in her front door, imploring her to hear him out. He explained that he had never mentioned Trina because they were no longer a couple, that he’d ended things in Japan, before he had even stepped foot on the plane for Fiji. He felt terrible that Trina had made her think otherwise. When he realized that Joss had left without saying goodbye, he’d been devastated, and begged her to fly to L.A. to see him once he returned home. She knew in her heart that he was telling the truth, but as tempting as it was, she wasn’t ready to see him. To see any of them. She needed time to figure things out, to connect with Hannah, and make amends with her mother.

  Mary had come to see her the next day and stayed for the week. She talked Joss into resigning at Alderleaf and putting her house on the market, the one Joss’ dad had willed to her, and to come live in Portland with her. Maybe Joss was still reeling from everything that had happened, maybe she was lonely, but for some reason she agreed to it. The house sold within a week, an over-asking cash offer from a family who had been looking for a home in Monroe just like hers. They wanted to close the deal two weeks later. Joss was grateful it all happened so fast, before she could change her mind. It was time to move on.

  Her mother, promising to return before the house closed, never came back. She claimed that she had to deal with some sort of work emergency, leaving Joss to pack up alone. Thankfully Hannah came to stay for a few days and together they packed up a rental truck and drove together to Portland. It was a good road trip, and Joss was able to fill Hannah in on everything that happened during those two incredible, lost months. She described, in great detail, each of her relationships and how for the first time in her life she’d felt whole, safe, complete.

  Although it was a blessing to catch up with Hannah, she’d hoped that her best friend would help her make sense of everything, but she was really no help at all. No matter how hard she tried to make Hannah understand just how painful it would be to offer her heart to one, Hannah thought Joss needed to make a choice, to consider which of her lovers meant the most to her and build a relationship with him.

  At the time, it was an impossible decision for Joss. Hannah quipped that in a perfect world Joss would be able to blend them all and create her ideal man. It was only a joke of course, but the observation sat heavily in Joss’ heart. It was true. Each of them had made her fall in love with them for such different reasons. Maybe she was being a stupid girl, selfish even, but she wanted them all. It just wouldn’t be fair to choose if she was still in love with each of them, would it? How could anyone build a relationship on such a fragile foundation? She respected them all too much for that.

  She’d spent a few weeks with her mother, putting most of her belongings in storage. The plan was to take some time to find a home in the Portland area, and continue to rebuild her relationship with Mary. It proved more difficult than Joss had anticipated. As much as she needed her mother, she didn’t need mothering, and Mary was oblivious to Joss’ gentle requests for more space. Joss tried to overlook her controlling nature, sidestepping all the nitpicking and criticism, but it was almost impossible. Her mother insisted that Joss needed to grow up, to go back into nursing and focus on a real career.

  Joss tried to chalk it all up to concern for her well being, but it proved too difficult to ignore. They would never see eye to eye and if there was any way to salvage their relationship, Joss knew it had to be done in bite sized pieces, and far apart. She found a small, temporary apartment in Harmony Point, thirty minutes from Mary, and moved as soon as possible. She’d thought it was a good compromise, but had no intention of staying. She just needed a place to hang her hat until her own head was back on straight.

  Charlie had kept in close contact with her during those times. Although she’d shared her feelings with him, admitting she still loved him and the others, he insisted that they remain friends. He’d invited her to come visit him on many occasions, but she gently refused, insisting that it would be too difficult for them both. She cried every time they spoke. God, he was so hard to deny. He loved her so much and she ached to be in his arms again.

  She heard often from Ryan, Willie and Daniel too. They were all doing their best to settle back into their lives, but like her, they were lost. It was like they’d all left a small part of their souls back on their little island, and in it’s place, an empty, vast cavern that kept them fragmented. Still functioning, but so very fractured.

  As promised, Grant never called,
and she knew why. Maybe he understood better than the rest of them just how important it was to let the dust settle. Every intimate phone call, every conversation, every heartfelt email just stirred up memories, smothering her like a desert sand storm, leaving behind a cloud of confusion. Joss fooled herself in believing that any of her conversations with them were leading towards closure. Nothing closed. There would be no happy conclusions. Her yearning just went on and on.

  * * *

  “Can I offer you a beverage? Maybe some camomile tea to help you sleep?” The flight attendant asked, luring Joss from her memories. She slipped the headphones down and smiled, shaking her head softly.

  “No, not at the moment,” Joss whispered, then quickly added, “maybe a blanket?”

  “Of course, I’ll be right back.”

  Joss sighed deeply, gripping the armrest as the plane hit a pocket of air. It seemed only fitting given the turbulent echoes of her memories. The friendly attendant returned moments later, handing her the blanket.

  “Thank you,” Joss smiled, spreading it over her lap.

  “If you need anything else, just press your call button,” she offered, her tone calming Joss instantly. As soon as she left, Joss turned out the overhead light and placed her headphones back on, the soothing music inviting her back into her thoughts.

  * * *

  More than two months had passed since her return to the states. Joss was restless and living on her own. To say that things were strained between her and her mother would have been an understatement. Mary didn’t appreciate the compromise as much as Joss, and refused to return her phone calls.

  Nothing seemed to be going right and Joss was starting to recognize the subtle and seductive call of depression, luring her back into it’s embrace like an unholy siren. It would have been effortless to fall under it’s numbing spell, but if she submitted to the dark she was afraid she might never return from it. Instead, she did some research on the Appalachian Trail, packed up her hiking gear, and bought a new pair of boots. Two thousand one hundred and ninety miles of wilderness from Maine to Georgia. It sounded like the anti-depressant she needed.

  Joss was an experienced hiker, and hiking on the trail was significantly easier than bushwhacking through the jungle. She’d found herself walking twenty, sometimes thirty miles a day. No matter how tired she was, she just kept pushing herself, allowing the cool fall temperatures, sunshine, and nature to soothe her back to life. She stayed in the hiker shelters, lived out of her back pack, and met some really cool people along the way. Wannabe hippies like herself. By the time she’d reached North Carolina, she felt completely nourished, her spirit cleansed. She was ready to go home.

  She knew she would always love her boys, but her heart was ready to let them go. Fate had brought them all together for a reason, and she would never regret a moment of it; the romance, the intimacy, the falling in love, even saying goodbye. They were all priceless experiences that she would forever hold dear. She would always be a little sad, but suffering was a choice, and she wasn’t willing to do it anymore. It would only diminish the experience and she wasn’t going to allow that to happen. Joss was a survivalist and she had to trust that someway, somehow the universe would guide her. Provide for her. Somewhere those lessons would serve her.

  At least that was her intention. But as the saying goes, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.

  Chapter 32

  Joss hailed a cab just outside the Nadi airport. She was tired but still her nerves were firing on every cylinder.

  “Where to?” the cabby asked as she climbed into the back seat. She saw his eyes in the rear view mirror and smiled at him.

  “Vuda Marina, please,” she instructed, getting comfortable.

  As he drove her to her destination she tried to focus on the beautiful surroundings, but her tired eyes just wanted to close. She smiled dreamily to herself, recalling the events of the past week.

  * * *

  She’d been off the grid for two months, no phone calls, emails, or internet. She had no regrets unplugging from life, in fact it had been necessary for her peace of mind, but as soon as she’d arrived home from the Appalachians, she fired up her computer and found an email from Charlie. Along with a short note was an electronic airline ticket to Fiji, first class.

  I’ll be in Fiji on November 3rd. Meet me where it all began. I’ll be at the Vuda Marina. You can’t miss me. No excuses and no more words. Just come. Love, Charlie.

  Joss thought about refusing, for 5.7 seconds, but the moment she read his email she knew. There was no fear, no guilt, no grief, and no doubt. Every ounce of love she’d had came flooding back in a heartbeat. She felt clear, calm, and beyond that, happy. Something in her gut told her she had to go.

  So she sent him a reply. No words, just a smiley face. He’d figure it out.

  “Here we are miss. $15.00 please,” the cabby asked politely, holding out his hand. “Do you know what slip you’re looking for?”

  Joss reached across the seat and handed him twenty Fijian dollars.

  “Oddly enough, I don’t,” she laughed, gesturing him to keep the change. He helped lift her suitcase out of the trunk and offered her a nod in farewell before driving away. She stood on the boardwalk, helplessly wondering where to go next.

  Rolling her suitcase behind her, Joss walked towards the slips. It was a well kept marina, catering to people sailing and yachting throughout the islands of the South Pacific. People with money. She modestly peered from one slip to another, trying not to stare. She’d nearly reached the end of the pier, turning back before she passed the final slip. In it was the most impressive yacht she had ever seen, resembling a floating two story penthouse apartment. It had to be 20 meters in length! She almost walked away before something surprising caught her eye. On the boat, painted on the stern:

  Jocelyn’s Paradise

  “Joss.”

  She looked up, into a familiar pair of blue eyes and an inviting smile. He offered her a casual wave, as though five minutes had passed rather than more than five months. His greying hair blowing in the Fijian breeze, Charlie looked relaxed, tanned, healthy.

  Joss could have sworn her knees almost buckled beneath her, suddenly recalling the many times they’d been naked together. She smiled back at him, genuinely happier than she’d been in a long time.

  “Welcome to Fiji,” he said, climbing down the stairs to the dock. He approached her cautiously, as though he wasn’t sure the proper way to greet her. She released her suitcase and ran into his arms, squeezing him as tight as she dared. His manly scent was intoxicating, a spicy cologne mixed with fresh, ocean air.

  “I missed you,” Joss cooed, burying her face in his neck. He sighed deeply, as though breathing her in.

  “Me too, more than you will ever know,” he said, leaning back. He held her at arms length and looked her up and down. “You look amazing.”

  “I look like crap. I just spent eighteen hours getting here,” she pouted, running her fingers through her disheveled hair.

  “You’re forgetting how dirty we were on the island,” Charlie laughed, reaching for her suitcase.

  “Oh, I haven’t forgotten,” she flirted, throwing him a suggestive wink.

  “Mmm, good to know,” he said, wrapping his free hand around her shoulders. “Come on board, you can freshen up and I’ll make you something to eat.”

  After a quick tour of the yacht, he left Joss to change in the master bedroom. It was bigger than her entire apartment. The shower was a walk-in, built comfortably for two. It was stocked with beautifully scented soaps and expensive shampoo, as though Charlie wanted to pamper her. She peeled off her clothes and stepped inside, allowing the warm water to wash away her exhaustion. She and Charlie had a lot to catch up on.

  * * *

  “I have a surprise for you,” Charlie said, taking away her empty plate. They were sitting in the galley (a chef’s kitchen to die for), enjoying an early lunch of fresh oysters with lemon, and a chopped salad.
Joss had wolfed it down, not realizing just how famished she’d been. He returned to the table with a cold beer for each of them, popping the cap before handing one to her.

  “You mean other than this?” she teased, raising her brows. “Yes. I want to take you on a cruise, somewhere special.”

  “Today?” she asked, sipping her beer, the cool amber liquid quickly quenching her thirst. She hadn’t had a sip of alcohol in more than two months and was certain she would be tipsy before the bottle was empty.

  “Yes, as soon as we’re done lunch I’m going to fire her up. At top speed this bucket will cruise at about 35 knots, so it might take five or six hours to get there. I know you probably haven’t slept. You’re welcome to go to bed. I’ll be busy piloting the rig anyway.”

  “Knots?” Joss questioned, unfamiliar with nautical terms.

  “Sorry, yes. Sixty-five kilometers or so an hour.”

  “Wow, where is this place?”

  “You’ll see,” he shrugged. He regarded her warmly for a moment, as though he had something on his mind. Joss was pretty sure she knew what it was. She was thinking the same thing. But he was right, she was exhausted and the beer wasn’t making it any easier to stay awake. She tried, unsuccessfully, to stifle a yawn and giggled.

  “I’m sorry,” she smirked, taking his hand. “I know we have so much to talk about, but I don’t think I can stay awake. Maybe just a quick nap?”

  “Of course,” he agreed, his dimples framing his smile. She’d almost forgotten how devilishly handsome Charlie was.

  She leaned in and kissed him, her lips softly brushing his tanned cheek.

  “Sleep well. I’ll be on the bridge. When you wake up, come and see me,” he encouraged. Out of habit, he reached out to touch her cheek, but dropped his hand indecisively. The gesture did not go unnoticed but Joss let it slide. They were both still adjusting. Rebuilding intimacy after five months apart would take a little time.

  Joss smiled sweetly at him, patting his hand. He nodded in return, as though he knew exactly what she was trying to say: Relax, we’ll get there.