The Lost Years (The Guardians Book 4)

by Wendy Owens

  “Whatever,” Raimie answered in a voice that made her shudder; there was no mistaking that he was different now.

  Dina, however, didn’t move. She continued standing there, staring at the blood-stained face of the shell that had once contained her beloved. Uri took hold of her hand, leading her out of the tombs and into the open night air. Sera, following close behind, had no desire to be left alone with the newly undead creature.

  Once in the open, Uri asked in a panic, “What are we going to do?”

  “What do you mean?” Dina asked.

  “What do I mean? I mean you created a monster in there and I am wondering what the hell we’re going to do about it.” Uri growled.

  “That’s Raimie in there, what can we do?” Dina moaned.

  “I knew Raimie, and that, in there, is not Raimie. Jesus, Dina, he killed a girl!” Uri exclaimed.

  “I know, damn it! You don’t have to remind me.”

  “Apparently, I do,” Uri added.

  “No, you don’t. She’s dead because of me; you don’t think I know that?”

  “We have to tell Michael.,” Uri insisted.

  “What? No! You promised! We can’t tell Michael. He’ll want to destroy him.,” Dina argued.

  “He’s a monster, he needs to be destroyed.”

  “Uri’s right. That’s not your boyfriend anymore. If you don’t take care of him, he will continue to hurt people,” Sera confirmed.

  “Seriously? Why are you still here? You have no business sticking your nose into guardian affairs, so please, butt out!”

  “Don’t yell at her. You made this mess and now you know what needs to be done. Are you going to do it or do I need to get Michael involved?”

  “No! Don’t,” Dina pleaded before sighing in despair. “He’s my responsibility; I’ll take care of it.”

  “Do you need my help?” Uri offered, knowing the immense difficulty Dina would have carrying out the deed.

  “No,” Dina answered coolly. “I need to do this myself.”

  “We’ll be right here if you need us,” Uri added.

  “You need to know, he wouldn’t hurt you unless he got hungry enough. He can only ignore his most basic instincts for so long,” Sera explained.

  Dina nodded before turning to go back into the tombs. Her head was spinning. She knew Uri was right, she should have trusted her instincts and never dabbled in dark magic. Now, she had sacrificed a piece of herself, a piece she would never get back. An innocent girl had died for her mistakes, how could she ever make things right? Beyond all the other things, she now had to dispose of this monster she created.

  “Is everything all right?” Raimie asked, cocking his head as if he had no clue as to what could be troubling her.

  “Do you understand who I am?” Dina asked, trying to probe deeper to see if a part of Raimie was still there to be saved.

  “You’re Dina,” Raimie answered plainly.

  “But what do I mean to you?” Dina pushed.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “I know who I am, but when you think of what I mean to you, what comes to mind?”

  “You’re nice to me, you help me.”

  “That’s it? How come when you were hungry, you didn’t try to feed off of me?”

  “I protect you, I don’t hurt you.”

  “So, if I asked you to do something for me, would you do it?”

  Raimie thought about the question for a moment before responding, “Yes.”

  “What if I told you that I don’t want you to hurt anyone ever again? No more feeding on people. Can you do that?”

  Raimie didn’t answer at first; he appeared to be computing an answer. “If that’s what you want.”

  “It is,” Dina answered, not knowing in the moment if Raimie would be able to honor his promise. “Come, let’s lay together.”

  Even though deep inside Dina knew this being was not her beloved, she couldn’t help but think of her Raimie as she looked at him. If this was going to be the end of him, she wanted to hold him in her arms for the time being. Though his skin was pale and flesh cold, he still looked like him. In some way, a piece of Raimie was there with her, and she could not resist the temptation to allow the goodbye to linger.

  Dina leaned against the stone wall, sliding down into a seated position. Raimie moved slowly as she motioned him over and instructed him to lie down. He did as he was told, placing his head onto her lap. She began running her fingers through his hair, watching as each strand fell back into place, memorizing what each movement was like so she could recall it one day.

  “You’re so nice to me,” Raimie said in a blissful and ignorant tone. Tears ran freely down Dina’s face and she managed not to convulse as she continued to stroke his hair. They sat there in silence for at least an hour, Dina growing numb inside with each pass of her fingertips. She noticed he began to twitch, slight murmurs and moans escaping his lips. Dina knew that he would soon be unable to keep his promise to her and he would need to feed.

  Poor girl, Dina thought, looking at the motionless corpse across the room. All she ever wanted to do was be our friend and look where that got her. Damn it, sometimes I think we’re all cursed. How can I do this? I can’t kill him, I love him, he’s my whole life… What if? No— I can’t, but— it’s wrong! Unless, what if Sera is right? What if a world without Raimie is a world without hope? Maybe I could keep him here, train him to not attack. We could figure out a way to possibly have him feed without killing anyone. He could still help the Guardians and I could still have him in my life.

  Dina’s eyes darted down to Raimie who was now trembling, then back to Neru’s body. The man who was lying in her lap, though, was not hers. The Raimie she loved was in fact gone and in the core of herself she knew that. She had created this monster, mutilated the body of the man she loved so intensely, morphing him into this thing.

  “I’m hungry,” he moaned.

  “I know, baby, I know.”

  “I need to eat, can I eat?”

  “Soon, sweetie, rest for now,” Using her free hand, Dina slipped the dagger from behind her back, placing it on the ground next to her leg.

  A few moments passed and Raimie became even more restless. Lifting up his head, he looked into her eyes and pleaded, “It hurts, please, I need to eat.” Dina considered offering her own blood to him, but then quickly realized that in her already weakened state, she would not be able to fight him off if he were unable to control his urges.

  Raimie did not wait for her response; he rose to his feet and began looking around the room. She could see that he was building into a frenzy. Dina wrapped her fingers around the dagger next to her and rose to her feet.

  “Raimie? Are you okay?”

  “Where’s that girl that was in here?”

  “What girl? Neru? You killed her.”

  “No!” Raimie violently waived his arms, frustrated he was not being understood. “Uri’s friend.”

  “Sera?”

  “Yeah!” Raimie exclaimed. “Sera, where did Sera go?”

  “Why do you want to know?” Dina asked, carefully concealing the dagger behind her back, the blade reacting to her heightened emotions and beginning to glow even brighter. Raimie however didn’t notice; he was too focused on finding Sera.

  “I’m so hungry, Dina. It hurts,” he cried.

  “I’m sorry, baby. I know it hurts, but you promised me you wouldn’t do that,” Dina reminded him.

  “Is she outside?” he asked, ignoring her and turning towards the halls that led to the exit.

  As he headed towards the sweet freedom of the outdoors, Dina could no longer hesitate. The time had come; her ideas and plans to try and keep Raimie under control were clearly not going to work. She sprang into action, rushing towards his body, his back still facing her. Leaping into the air, wrapping both hands around the dagger, she raised her arms up over her head and plunged the blade into his skull before landing on the balls of her feet.

  Raimie halted. He
didn’t turn to face her, instead, he fell to his knees, hovering for a moment, and then collapsed. No words or sounds escaped his lips. In an instant, the previously animated body became empty and motionless.

  “Oh, God. No! No, God! Please!” The cries that came from Dina were painful and loud. So loud they brought Uri rushing back inside.

  He stopped for a moment, taking in the scene before scooping up Dina into his arms. “I know it hurts.”

  Dina ignored his comfort, trying to pull away from him, reaching out for Raimie’s dead body. Saliva flew out from the corners of her mouth as she wildly sobbed, “I love you. Oh, God I love you so much. Why did you have to die?”

  Uri finally managed to shift the petite, flailing girl’s body over his shoulder, and sweep her from the tombs. Her haunting and painful moans carried all throughout Iron Gate.

  “What do you mean she’s gone?” Haim asked, his eyebrows rising.

  “Exactly what I said, she’s gone! I went to her room to make sure she was all right after everything that went down with Raimie, and all that was there was some insane note,” Uri exclaimed.

  “Wait, she left a letter?”

  “Yes, but it makes absolutely no sense.”

  “Well, what did it say?”

  “Here, read it for yourself. Maybe you can figure out what the hell she’s talking about.”

  Uri,

  I want you to know that meeting you, in person, and getting to know you has meant the world to me. You showed me a glimpse into who you are, and I can see that you have grown into an amazing man. One that is sure and confident of who he is, and who cares about the people in his life. In the future, your friends will need someone like you, so please, be strong.

  Everything has changed now that Raimie is gone. I can’t explain, all I can say is that there is no longer a need for me to be here. I have failed as a keeper and now I must report back to find out what is to be done with me.

  Don’t come after me. I wish I could have saved you all, but I wasn’t as strong as you.

  -Seraphine

  Haim pushed the paper back into Uri’s hands. He said nothing, unsure what to make of the words.

  “What does she mean?” Uri asked, examining the paper closely for the tenth time since discovering it. “She said meeting me in person meant the world to her, like she already knew who I was. Why would she say that?”

  “Man, I don’t know. I’m as lost as you are,” Haim replied, scratching his head.

  “She talks about my future like she knows it. And what about the part where she says she failed as a keeper? When did she fail? I never even knew what the hell the weapon was.”

  “You’re the one that was sucking face with the girl, how am I supposed to know what she’s talking about? You really have no clue?”

  “Show a little respect,” Uri growled, slapping Haim in the chest with the back of his hand. “It wasn’t like that. Sera is different.”

  “Whatever you say.”

  “I’m serious, she’s special.”

  “Aren’t they all?” Haim asked with an elbow to the side.

  “Shut up! All right? I can’t explain it, there’s something about her, it’s like she can see me when nobody else can.”

  “Oh, man, stop, I’m going to tear up over here. Or maybe I should bust out in a verse of Wind Beneath My Wings.”

  “I am seriously going to punch you in the face.”

  “Okay, I’m just kidding, chill out.”

  “I need to tell Michael, we have to gather a search party to go out and look for her.”

  “But her letter said not to come looking for her,” Haim pointed out casually.

  “Her letter said a lot of stuff and I think I deserve a few answers. Michael will know where we should start,” Uri stated.

  “What will I know?” Michael asked, approaching the two.

  “Thank God. It’s Seraphine,” Uri began.

  “Who?” Michael asked furrowing his brow.

  “The one who saved me after Rampart,” Uri answered, annoyed his mentor was unaware of the woman who had recently captured his attention.

  “Oh, yes, of course. What about her?” Michael inquired.

  “She’s missing,” Uri exclaimed.

  Michael’s expression quickly turned to one of concern. “How long has she been missing?”

  “I don’t know, a day maybe.”

  “Did anyone see what happened?” Michael probed.

  “Well, no—” Uri started.

  “She left a note,” Haim interjected.

  “Wait a second, what? So, she left of her own accord?”

  “Yes, but something must be wrong. Her letter was cryptic and none of it makes sense. I know she wouldn’t just leave like that,” Uri argued.

  “We leave her alone, Uri, is that understood? If the girl chose to leave, it was her choice to make and we don’t pursue her,” Michael commanded, turning to walk away.

  “Like with Gabe?” Uri snapped.

  Michael slowly turned back, glaring at the young man he had nurtured for so many years, now standing tall and challenging him. Puffing out his chest and moving in close to his face, Michael sternly replied, “Yes, exactly like Gabe. We do not make the choice for other people. They can either be a part of what we are here or not.”

  “Well, I don’t accept that,” Uri replied, not shifting his stare.

  “I don’t care whether you accept it or not, it’s simply how it is. A war has begun, Uri, and we do not have the time or the man power to seek out people who do not want to be here. The same goes for you. You’re either on board with us or you can leave.”

  Uri suddenly shifted from anger and frustration to a look of hurt. Michael could see his words had wounded him.

  “We need you, son, but this fight’s going to go on even if you’re not here. I know it’s hard to let people go. I miss Gabe more than any of you could possibly realize, and now I have to bury poor Raimie. I don’t want to lose anyone else, but this is how things are. Can we count on you?” Michael asked, extending his hand.

  Uri looked to Haim, who offered a shrug, unsure if anything he could say would help the situation. Looking back to Michael, Uri answered, “I’ll fight for the Guardians, but I will never stop looking for her.”

  “You do what you need to,” Michael said before once again turning and walking away.

  “What are you going to do?” Haim asked once their leader was out of ear shot.

  “It looks like right now there’s not much I can do. I’ll find her though, one day.”

  “I’m sorry, man,” Haim added, seeing the unfamiliar pain on his friend’s face.

  “Don’t be. I’m not giving up on Sera; I know I’ll find her again,” Uri added confidently.

  Sophie ran her fingers across the array of beauty products on the desk. After Michael had found out about what happened with Raimie, he had a room set up with some belongings he thought would bring Dina comfort. Dina was not one to apply a lot of make up to her face, but she did like to have all of the essentials that a beauty queen would require at her disposal, just in case. She had once confided in Sophie that her mother was in a Miss America pageant when she was little. One of the things she remembered about her was how much she enjoyed looking beautiful. Sophie always assumed that the overly frilly atmosphere she immersed herself in was a way to stay close to her mother.

  “You need to eat something,” Sophie insisted, pushing the tray of food closer to Dina.

  Dina didn’t answer; she simply rolled over in her bed, turning her back on her friend.

  “Come on, I’m serious, you can’t keep going on like this. I know you’re hurting, sweetheart, but you have to eat.”

  “I’m not hungry,” Dina moaned in a soft voice.

  “Well, that’s impossible; you’ve barely eaten anything in days. You have to be hungry.”

  Dina remained quiet, curling tighter into the fetal position. Standing and walking around to the other side of the bed, Sophie was dete
rmined that she would snap her friend out of this spiraling, self-destructive decent she was currently in. Taking a seat directly in front of Dina, Sophie reached forward and placed a hand on her arm to keep her from turning away so easily.

  “We all loved him, Dina.”

  “Just don’t, please.”

  “I’m serious. Do you think you’re the only one hurting right now? Raimie’s death has left a huge hole in all of our lives. Uri’s a wreck.”

  “Uri? Yeah, you all lost so much,” Dina scoffed.

  “That’s not fair,” Sophie defended her words. “All I was trying to say is that you’re not the only one hurting right now. It would make all of us feel a lot better if we at least knew you were taking care of yourself,” Sophie explained.

  “Let me tell you exactly what I’m going through. Raimie wasn’t just some boyfriend. We were together for years and we were going to get married one day. No one understood me like he did. Everyone sees pink and fluffy, but he knew my shadows. In the entire world, only he saw me for who I really was and he loved me for it.”

  “I get it. He loved you and you loved him. I love Gabe, but sometimes we have to let go of the things we love because it’s what’s best.”

  “Gabe? Did you turn Gabe into a horrible monster and then have to shove a blade through his skull?”

  “No—I mean, I know it’s not exactly the same, but—”

  “You’re right, it’s not the same! I loved him so much I was willing to die to save him and instead I had to shove a blade through his skull. When I talk about him it feels like there’s a steel knife in my windpipe. I can’t breathe.”

  “You did what you had to do, Dina,” Sophie tried to alleviate her friend’s raging guilt, but to no avail.

  “Jesus, you don’t get it, do you? Had he tried to eat me instead of going after Seraphine I would have let him. I only killed him because I couldn’t let someone else die from what I had created. I wish he would have attacked me.”

  “Don’t say that!”

  “Why not? I probably would have liked the way it hurt. I would have welcomed death by his hands. To know my life was ending so I could be with my beloved again. You wouldn’t understand.”