Love on Tap

by Karis Walsh

  “Right. You’re not there to entertain or bore the students. You’re there to ignite a passion in them. How can you if you aren’t engaging them in the material?”

  Berit thought of the book sitting on the backseat. She’d hoped it would give her an hour’s worth of words to say to her class, but it wouldn’t. She could describe it and show the picture in less than a minute. But what it represented…researching, digging for information, decoding texts and visual images simultaneously. Trying to understand the ancient past given the few clues they had in the present. Deciding what could be—and what shouldn’t be—inferred about the people whose lives they merely glimpsed.

  Berit raised Tace’s hand and kissed the back of it. Suddenly, she had ideas swarming through her mind for Monday’s class, but she didn’t feel the usual need to write them down on notecards or to outline her thoughts for a lecture. She had questions to ask the students, and opinions of her own to give. They’d interpret the text together.

  “Here we are,” Tace said, breaking Berit out of her reverie.

  Berit got out of the car and looked around. Not exactly wheat fields, but the snow-covered sages and stubby trees gave a similar sense of monotony to the land as far as she could see. She heard a soft roar in the background—cars on a nearby highway?—but otherwise there was little to see or hear out here.

  “Nice place,” she said, not even trying to hide the sarcasm in her voice.

  Tace got her cane out of the backseat and handed it to her. “Come on. It’s right over here.”

  “What is?” Berit asked as she walked several paces behind Tace. “Monotony Mountain? Humdrum Hill?”

  Tace shook her head and came back to Berit’s side. She put her right arm through Berit’s and took the cane with her left hand. “Close your eyes, smarty-pants. It’s just a short walk.”

  Berit did as she was told and kept her eyes tightly shut while she walked forward under Tace’s guidance. She was just marveling at how much trust she was willing to put in Tace, and wondering why the highway roar was getting louder, when Tace told her to open her eyes.

  Berit walked the last few yards on her own, and the world seemed to open up right before her feet. A huge basalt cavern appeared below her as if out of nowhere, with a waterfall crashing over the side. It had been hidden from view in the bare landscape, and only when she was close did Berit feel the full effect of power and spray.

  “Wow,” she said. Simple, but true.

  “Palouse Falls, about a two hundred foot drop. Look at the basalt walls. You can practically read the formative geology of this area in the layers, even when they’re covered with ice. Volcanic eruptions, over and over, creating the land we’re standing on right now. See how the basalt cooled in columns?” Tace moved behind her, without touching, and pointed over her shoulder. Berit experienced the closeness of her, the promise of her touch, like a warm shiver moving across her skin. “And look at that layer, where the rock looks crumbly. It’s called flow-top breccia. The top crust of the lava flow would cool and harden, then get tumbled back into the molten stuff below.”

  “It’s amazing,” Berit said. Layers of rock, like layers from different time periods on a dig. To her, the surrounding rock had only been important because of the human materials it encased and preserved, or for use in dating a site. Determine its age, and then remove it. But here, she was able to just appreciate the physical world for what it was, not what it kept from view. The grandeur of the falls helped pull her out of the self-focused, self-pitying state she unaccustomedly found herself in more often than not these days.

  Tace wrapped her arms around Berit’s waist and held her close. “You’re used to looking for hidden treasure, buried under layers of dirt. Part of what I love about this corner of the world is how overt the beauty is. History is thrust into the open. Visible, and part of daily life. You don’t have to put down roots here, but you can at least appreciate the natural beauty of my home.”

  Berit turned in Tace’s arms and cupped her face with both hands. “Have no doubt, Tace, that I appreciate the beauty I’ve found here.” She kissed her gently, then with an increasing passion. “The falls are gorgeous, but they’re nothing compared to you.”

  Tace sighed, and the sensation moved through Berit’s arms and her belly where she was pressed against Tace. Berit kissed her again, moving beyond the pecks on the cheek and the tentative samples they’d been sharing. She’d been learning about Tace’s layers and origins, too, over the months she’d been here. She’d discovered parts of Tace that were strong and solid, like the basalt columns, and the other parts where Tace was fragile and had broken bits. Every part of her was growing more and more precious to Berit.

  Berit felt Tace’s fingers twist in her hair. For too long, their kisses and touches had held hints of tension and too-tight control. Now, Tace’s lips softened against hers, and Berit unwound like a snapped cable when their tongues gently slid around each other. Berit felt an almost violent sense of letting go when she and Tace moved together in their kiss, with their bodies snugly close and their hands pressing lips even closer. Her life had been about herself—through necessity as a child and out of habit as an adult. How she lived, how she loved, and now how she taught. Tace had forced her to look at teaching as a collaboration with her students, and now Tace was showing her how to kiss the same way.

  And then all thoughts of teaching and classes faded away, and there was only Tace left, touching something inside Berit that she’d always kept hidden and protected. Berit could only let Tace be this close for a short time, could only give up her independence for this brief recuperative stay in Walla Walla, but the decision was made for her by the questioning movement of Tace’s hand along the curve of her waist. While she was here, she’d give herself to this unfamiliar sense of partnership with everything she had. And when she left? Berit brushed her fingertips along the curve of Tace’s breast and felt her respond with a sharp inhale and a deep sigh. Maybe, when she left, she’d fight to keep Tace with her…

  Tace broke away and glanced across the parking lot when another car pulled in. She tugged on Berit’s hand and led them back the way they’d come.

  Once they were in the car, Tace turned to her and took her hand again. “I know you’ll be leaving in June, and you know I’m tied to this place, as much now as I was when I had the kids to care for. But I want more with you, no matter how little time we have left. I want all of you.”

  “You’re sure?” Berit asked. She’d made her choice a moment ago, but she wouldn’t move forward unless she was certain Tace understood and accepted exactly what she was offering. But what had seemed logical and certain in her head became muddled when she tried to talk about it. “I want you, too, but I don’t want to push. I even hoped…”

  Tace used her index finger on Berit’s chin to make Berit look at her. “What? You hoped what?”

  “I found a job opening on the Baja Peninsula when I was looking for work over winter break,” Berit said in a rush. She wanted to be with Tace, and she had to share what had been on her mind before she shared her body. This new intimacy she felt with Tace deserved no less. “It looked like a place you’d enjoy. I guess I thought if you sold the brewery…but I know how much it means to you, and I’m glad you decided to keep it. I’d never get in the way of your dreams just because mine will take me away.”

  Berit was rambling, but she wanted Tace to understand both sides of her conundrum. She wanted them to have the possibility of a future together, but she didn’t want to interfere when Tace had just found a dream and career for herself.

  Tace shook her head with a humorless laugh and looked out the window. “That’s another difference between us,” she said.

  “What is?” Berit asked when Tace remained silent.

  Tace turned back to her with a tinge of sadness in the curve of her mouth. “You hoped I might go with you,” she said, her palm resting on Berit’s cheek, “but I never once thought you might stay here with me.”

&nb
sp; Berit put her hand over Tace’s but she didn’t speak because she’d never considered that option, either.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Tace followed Berit into her bedroom once they got home. The car ride had been tense and silent—not because they were angry, although Tace had lingering and muddled emotions from their various conversations during the day—but because they had made the decision together to wring as much out of their time together as possible, and Tace, at least, couldn’t wait to start.

  Tace understood Berit’s passionate nature even though it seemed so different from her own calm and unwavering personality. She didn’t have the highs and lows Berit did, and she figured even Berit didn’t usually vacillate as much as she had since coming to Walla Walla. Berit had been struggling with pain, with an injury that kept her from doing anything with as much freedom as she was accustomed to having. Her career—her vocation—had been put on hold while she worked at a job she found meaningful, but not easy or natural. Some mood swings and some hurt masquerading as anger or frustration were perfectly normal.

  Tace had gone through changes, too, since last August. She was taking a chance on herself, on a new job, and now on a short-term, but oh-so-promising affair with Berit. She’d been quiet on the drive because she’d been concentrating on holding herself together. One slip in her control and she’d have pulled the car over to the side of the highway and pounced on Berit right there. She’d made it home, but now she felt a hesitation even as she kept her hands on Berit’s back while they walked, needing the contact between them.

  Second thoughts? No, not a chance. She had wanted Berit from the start, and she’d finally made the choice to accept what Berit had to offer. She walked into Berit’s bedroom, her old bedroom, and felt like a guest in there, among Berit’s randomly strewn clothes and piles of books. The mix of knowing and not knowing was getting to her. She’d learned about Berit’s past, about her emotions, and about her endearing swings between self-criticism and self-confidence, depending on whether she was in the field or not. But as deeply as she knew Berit, her body was still a mystery to be deciphered.

  Tace faced Berit once they were close to the bed and rested her hands on Berit’s hips. A kiss, gentle and brief at first, like the ones they’d shared lately. A nuzzle along Berit’s collarbone, making Berit drop her head back with a sigh. A gentle move of her hips across Berit’s, with the rough catch of denim and buttons to emphasize the promise of yielding softness underneath.

  Tace’s relationships had never been so laden with intimacy as this one. She’d meet women, they’d be attracted to one another, and they’d have sex. Rarely did the relationship last longer than a weekend, and never had Tace felt as invested as she was now. She undid the buttons on Berit’s shirt one at a time, not knowing what she’d find underneath. She’d been living with her for over half a year, and she’d never seen her less than fully dressed. They’d supported each other through problems at work and had opened up to each other about private doubts and vulnerabilities but had never gone beyond a kiss.

  Tace inhaled deeply as she traced the curve of Berit’s breasts. Perfect, of course. She’d never doubted Berit’s body would be as beautiful on the outside as Tace knew her heart was on the inside. Her mouth replaced fingertips, and through the intermediary of her tongue she felt Berit’s breaths become shallower and more rapid. Tace held her steady with an arm around her waist and her lips closed firmly over Berit’s nipple.

  A sharp gasp from Berit, and the sweet pain of hands tangled tightly in her hair. Tace felt as if her knees would buckle at any moment, and—without releasing her sucking and nibbling hold on Berit’s breast—she unbuttoned Berit’s jeans and shoved them over her hips. She finally let Berit go and watched her shimmy out of the jeans and sit on the bed. Tace stepped forward, and Berit spread her thighs, welcoming Tace between them. She stood in front of Berit and just touched her—her hair, her eyelids, the curve of her cheekbone, the arch of her neck.

  “You’ll tell me if you hurt at all?”

  Berit bit her lip and gave a half nod.

  Tace laughed, enjoying Berit’s playful smile and her own response to the combination of humor and seriousness they both seemed to feel. “I’m not convinced. You have to promise.”

  “What if I don’t want you to stop?”

  Tace shook her head and leaned down to kiss Berit, thrusting her tongue deep in Berit’s mouth before she pulled away again. “If you say ouch I’ll ease off and be gentler. I won’t stop completely unless you tell me.”

  “Deal.” Berit said. She put her hand on the back of Tace’s neck and pulled her down for another soul-crushing kiss. When they pulled apart, Tace saw Berit’s hands trembling as much as her own insides were. Berit scooted back on the bed and was about to lie down, but Tace stopped her.

  “Lie on your stomach. I want to see where you were hurt.”

  Berit did as she asked, and Tace sat next to her hip and pressed tightly against her side. She forgot to look for Berit’s scars for a moment, mesmerized instead by the beautiful lines of her back. She moved her hand over Berit from her neck, down her spine, and into the curve of her lower back. She traced every vertebra with barely any pressure, but still she felt the three small incision marks before she saw them. A fine web of thin white scars covered Berit’s lower rib cage on her right side.

  “Fracture and dislocation of the two thoracic vertebrae,” Berit said, her voice muffled because she was resting her forehead on her crossed arms. “The surgeon was worried about the extent of trauma to my spinal cord, and that’s why I had to be so careful at first. We weren’t sure how well the area would heal, or if there’d be permanent damage. I also cracked a couple of lower ribs in the fall, and had a tiny puncture in my lung.”

  Tace cringed at the thought of what might have been. She’d only had vague descriptions of the extent of Berit’s wounds and, in this case, would have preferred ignorance to the more detailed explanation of the reason Berit had come to Walla Walla. She braced a hand on either side of Berit’s waist and leaned over to kiss the small scars before moving her lips beyond them, deep in the valley of Berit’s lower back. Berit had been speaking matter-of-factly about her injury, but now she gave a soft moan and pushed her hips toward Tace.

  Tace didn’t need more invitation than Berit’s barely audible sounds and slight movements. She slid a hand over Berit’s ass and between her legs, cupping her with enough pressure to feel wetness spread across her palm. She kept teasing Berit’s spine with her lips and tongue, while her fingers spread through Berit’s curls and finally moved deep inside her. Berit gasped again, pushing herself against Tace’s probing fingers, and Tace matched her rhythm with increasingly insistent movement. The scent of Berit’s arousal—so close and mouth-watering—made Tace want to flip her over and make her come with her tongue and teeth. But her head was resting on the reminder of Berit’s injuries, and Tace wouldn’t risk hurting her for anything. Instead, she inched her free hand under Berit’s belly and found her dripping and hard clit. Berit ground down on her fingers and came while calling Tace’s name.

  Tace kept her hands still, with slight pressure, while Berit shuddered against her and sighed with the aftershocks of her climax. Tace’s forehead was on Berit’s lower back, fused there by a sheen of sweat, and her own breath came in short bursts. She’d never felt another woman’s responses like this, as if her own body had been touched. The openness between them—after months of familiarity and given the brutal honesty of Berit’s imminent and inevitable departure—had destroyed all Tace’s boundaries. She’d been with Berit in a way she could feel, but couldn’t describe.

  Berit eased onto her back and held her arms out for Tace. Tace started to move into them, but Berit suddenly pushed her away.

  “You’re still fully clothed! Take care of that first, and then come here.”

  Tace laughed and got up, quickly shedding her jeans and shirt and tossing them on the floor. She gently bounced onto the bed next to Berit and
gave her a kiss.

  “I would have taken them off sooner, but someone seemed impatient to be touched.”

  “Well, someone has been waiting for months to get you into bed. Give someone a break.”

  Tace smiled against Berit’s lips as the teasing turned with lightning quickness into arousal again. Berit made her head spin and her body do flips inside. Tace was used to living on an even keel, but Berit had turned her whole world on end.

  Berit propped herself on one elbow and pushed Tace’s shoulders down until she was flat on the bed. “I’ve never felt so connected, during sex or any other time, like I do with you,” Berit said. “I don’t know how you reach places I always kept private, but I’m glad you do. You fill me with…well, with emotions.”

  Tace wondered what Berit had been about to say. It was too soon for the word love, and it shouldn’t be spoken between them anyway, not with only a few short months before Berit left. Her confused thoughts were silenced when Berit kissed her again, and Tace opened her mouth in response to Berit’s exploring tongue. The kiss continued, ebbing and flowing with a clash of tongues and gentle brushes of teeth, until Tace couldn’t keep still any longer. Her hips moved and her knees bent and straightened, her feet sliding across the comforter, as she fought to contain her arousal and keep control.

  Movement. Their relationship was all about movement. Tace wriggled on the bed while Berit delved into every nook and cranny she had, excavating Tace’s secrets and worshiping them like priceless relics. Change and motion.

  Tace had always fought against change, and she felt herself fighting even now, trying to maintain control while Berit’s fingers caressed her side with a tickling light touch. The switch between tender caress and out-of-control passion was wearing down her defenses. Berit’s lips took over where her hands left off, and she sucked on Tace’s neck, on her breasts, on her lower belly and inner thigh. Berit had been the one to help Tace move out of her rut and into this unexpected and wonderful world of passion, both with Berit and with her newfound career. She had taught Tace to move forward, not to stay in place.