Behind the Stick

by K. Evan Coles

  “Wade and I got some bad news from the fertility doc earlier this week.” Regina clasped her hands on her knee. “We’ve exhausted our options and are no closer to getting pregnant than when we started.”

  “Oh, damn.” Luka said, frowning.

  “I haven’t told anyone but it’s looking like we need to accept the fact that it’s not meant to be.” She tilted her head back and took a deep breath, as if she was trying not to cry.

  Luka’s heart ached for his sister. He hated seeing her hurt so much and know he could do little to help. “I’m sorry, Regina.”

  She nodded. “My age is part of it. You know I love what I do, but now there are some days I’d go back and make different choices. Not wait so long. Focus less on my career. But I wanted to be in a better place.

  “I saw how things were for Mom after Dad died,” Regina said. “She worked all those hours to help care for us. And Wade. I love him so much, but he has the same kind of job Dad had. I knew there was no guarantee Wade would be around to help me raise our children, and I wanted to be able to support them myself if it came to that. The city pays out death benefits but…” She shook her head, as if she couldn’t continue

  “I had no idea that’s part of why you pushed yourself so hard,” Luka said. “You know we all would help out if anything happened.”

  “I know.” Regina wiped her eyes. “But I had to be sure I could handle it myself, and now … Now I wonder what was the point? We may never have children at all.”

  “I wish I could say something to make it easier for you,” he said.

  “We’re looking into adoption. I know it’s not a bad choice, but I feel like a failure.”

  “You’re not a failure,” Luka reassured his sister. “You’ll be a wonderful mother, however it happens.”

  Luka wanted to have kids someday, but because he’d dated both men and women, he’d never had any concrete plans about how it would happen. Would Kyle want that?

  Regina shook her head as if to clear away the earlier conversation. “How are things with you?”

  “Work’s been hectic so I’m glad I got today off. I’m sure the station is elbow-deep in grease fires.”

  Regina chuckled. “I remember that story you told me about the guy who lit his porch on fire making deep-fried turkey.”

  “There’s at least one Thanksgiving turkey fire a year,” Luka replied, “but I remember the one you’re talking about. The neighbor spotted the fire and called it in before rushing over to help.”

  “Right! The neighbor who’d been in the tub and ran down wearing a towel and nothing else.”

  “Yeah. That so-called Good Samaritan lost his towel mid-conversation with Lane.” Luka shuddered at the memory. “Ugh.”

  Regina frowned. “I heard about the apartment fire last week. Mom said you pulled a muscle?”

  “Nothing major. It was just uncomfortable for a day or two. Kyle helped me work it out.” He wanted to curse at the expression that crossed Regina’s face. Damn it, he shouldn’t have brought up Kyle. But what the hell, why did he have to walk on eggshells all the time?

  “It seems like Marcus and Ruby are getting chummy with him,” Regina said, sitting back. “What’s this about Ruby going to his bar?”

  “Kyle gave her an open invitation a while ago,” Luka replied, “and she and Stella took him up on it.”

  “I notice Kyle hasn’t extended the same invitation to me.” There was a trace of hurt in Regina’s voice.

  Whoa. Does Regina feel left out? What’s that about? Luka reminded himself to take a deep breath before he blew up at his sister.

  “In fact, he has,” Luka said as gently as he could manage. “Kyle has told me anyone in the family is welcome any time. But, honestly, why should he? You made it clear you don’t think much of me dating men. You weren’t rude to Kyle, but you didn’t go out of your way to make him feel welcome when we went to hear Ruby sing either.”

  Surprise crossed Regina’s face. “I’ll admit I didn’t think much of the idea when you first mentioned him. But after watching you two together at the club, I could tell how happy he makes you.”

  Luka stared at her. “You didn’t do a good job of making your change of heart clear to either of us.”

  “I’m sorry.” She sighed. “It’s true. I went into that night thinking nothing he could do would change my mind. But then I saw how hard Kyle tried when he was clearly uncomfortable. He did that for you, and it made me feel differently. Watching the two of you dance…” She shook her head. “I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen you so happy with anyone, Luka. As your older sister, I like to think I know what’s best for you, and for a long time, I thought it had to be a woman. Why choose to make your life harder than it has to be? Dating a man is harder, right?”

  “Only in the way other people treat us.”

  “But it isn’t a choice, is it?” Regina said. She sounded thoughtful, as if she’d never considered that fact before.

  “Choosing means closing myself off to people out there who could make me happy.”

  “Like Kyle?”

  “Yes, like Kyle.”

  “You’re in love with him, aren’t you?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  She reached out and squeezed his hand. “Then I’m sorry I didn’t do more to welcome him. Can you forgive me?”

  “Of course.” Luka stood and pulled Regina to her feet, crushing her against him in a bear hug. “Thank you for admitting you were wrong,” he murmured against her hair. “I know it can’t have been easy.”

  “Your happiness is worth more than my pride,” she muttered, her voice muffled by his shoulder.

  Luka’s eyes pricked with tears. “Think you can help bring Mom around?”

  Regina drew back and smoothed down her dress. “I can try.”

  “That would mean a lot to me.”

  “Okay.” Regina offered Luka a fleeting smile. “Should we see if they’ve left any pie for us?”

  “Sounds good.” Luka moved toward the door, but Regina caught his elbow.

  “Would you and Kyle have dinner with Wade and me sometime in the next few weeks? Whenever we can make all of our schedules mesh.”

  “I’d like that,” Luka said, his heart feeling light. “I’d like that a lot. I’ll talk to Kyle about that soon.”

  The rest of the evening passed pleasantly for all of them. They ate pie—the family had waited to dig in until he and Regina emerged—and watched football and played board games. Only one thing was missing as far as Luka was concerned. Kyle.

  As usual, saying goodbye took a long time, but Luka left the house with a bag of leftovers and a promise to call Regina when he and Kyle had some dates that worked for them.

  He texted Kyle as he walked to the train station.

  How was your day?

  Good. Makes me sad to see kids with no families—reminds me of losing my dad. Really glad we could give them a sense of belonging. How was dinner?

  Better than expected. I’ll call you. Hands are full of leftovers.

  Luka’s phone rang a moment later.

  “Better than expected, huh?” Kyle asked.

  “Yeah. Regina and I had a good conversation. She’s invited us to dinner with her and Wade.” His words were met with a brief silence.

  “That would be nice.” Kyle sounded surprised but pleased. And there, proof that he’d been bothered by Luka’s family’s behavior.

  “I also have cake and pumpkin sweet rolls from Daniela. With her famous cream cheese icing.”

  Kyle let out a low hum. “That sounds amazing.”

  “Wait until you taste them. I don’t know though. I had no idea I’d have to compete against food to make sounds like that come out of your mouth.”

  Kyle laughed. “It sounds like your family is coming around,” he said more seriously. “That’s good.”

  “They are,” Luka agreed. “And yeah, it’s a big relief.”

  “Next, I just have to win over your mom.”


  Luka ached for Kyle. “I hate to put a damper on your good mood, but she’s going to be the hardest nut to crack.”

  “Good thing you’re worth fighting for.”

  A lump rose in Luka’s throat. He was so close to telling Kyle he loved him but saying it over the phone was nearly as bad as in the middle of a foursome. Worse, maybe. At least at Jesse and Cam’s, Luka would have been able to reach out and touch Kyle.

  “You’re staying at Riley and Carter’s tonight, right?” Luka asked instead. “We kinda left things open-ended, depending on when stuff wrapped up for both of us.”

  “Yes, I’m there now.”

  “And they’re cool with me coming over?”

  “Definitely. Ollie’s here, too.”

  “I’ll head that way then.”

  “I’d like that,” Kyle said. His voice was warm. “It’s getting harder and harder to fall asleep without you in bed with me.”

  “Same here,” Luka said. “I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

  “I’ll wait up.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  “How many of your friends own second homes?” Luka’s eyes were on the road when Kyle glanced his way.

  They’d borrowed Ruby’s car again for this early December weekend on Long Island with the speakeasy guys and were moments from entering the Queens Midtown Tunnel. Luka looked relaxed behind the wheel in a hoodie and jeans, and Kyle mentally crossed his fingers that the light traffic they’d encountered so far this Friday afternoon would hold.

  “Very few,” he said. “Jesse’s brother and sister-in-law bought a farmhouse in Vermont a few years ago, and Carter and Riley have the place in Southampton, but that’s it. Well, Will and David sort of co-own a pool at Will’s sister’s house. However that works. Why do you ask?”

  “Just curious. My buddy Lars and his wife own part of a timeshare in Virginia Beach, but they do that with three other couples. They also rent it out when the owners aren’t using it.” Luka pushed his sunglasses up onto his head as they approached the tunnel’s entrance. “It’s not like they have an extra house just sitting there empty and waiting for them to pay it a visit,” he said.

  Kyle scoffed. “Dude, it’s a building, not a puppy—you’re such a romantic.” Luka’s laughter filled the car. Kyle pulled off his own sunglasses and peered at him through the tunnel’s gloom. “Jesse’s too much in love with New York to want a getaway house, and he and Cam are more into traveling for vacation anyway. David and Will are happy in Freeport, so I don’t see them wanting another home.”

  “And you and Malcolm?”

  “He and I are regular guys, Luka.” Kyle chuckled. “So is David when you get down to it—he just happens to have a high-profile job and a rich boyfriend.”

  “You don’t collect a ‘regular guy’ kind of paycheck,” Luka said, his tone reasonable.

  “Not anymore, no, but it’s not Murtagh-level money-making either, and nothing like Carter’s and Riley’s wealth,” Kyle replied. “Besides, I don’t need anything bigger than the place I already have.” He smiled at Luka’s exaggerated throat clearing. “You got something to say about my apartment, Clarke?”

  “Nope.” Luka used a hand to mime zipping his lips closed, then spoke anyway. “Okay, I do wonder why you’re still in such a small place. Don’t get me wrong—your apartment is great, but a second bedroom might be nice.”

  “I’ll give you that,” Kyle replied. “It’d be nice to stash my brother and his stuff somewhere other than my couch when he’s in town.”

  He’d never hesitate welcoming Oliver or any friend who needed a bed, even though the lack of privacy sometimes left a lot to be desired. But Kyle was attached to his apartment, probably more so than typical.

  He licked his lips. “Pretty sure you’ve noticed I’m a creature of habit,” he said. He gestured to his plaid flannel and jeans. “I bought these clothes right after I moved into the Chelsea apartment, and I’ve owned my boots even longer. It took me a while to save up enough money to rent anything back then, but I was glad to find it, even though I shared it with two other guys at the time. The shoebox is in a great building, and my landlady cuts her tenants a good deal on rent.”

  Luka nodded. “When did you start living alone?”

  “Around the time I met Carter. I had to stretch making ends meet, but some creative budgeting helped.” Kyle glanced at him. “After Jes and I decided to open the speakeasy, I thought about moving uptown, but it seemed too risky. Moving and then having to do it again if Under closed and I got a job somewhere else? No, thanks.”

  “Makes sense.” Luka squinted at the approaching tunnel exit. “Am I in the right lane?”

  “For now, yep. Once we’re aboveground, keep left for the Expressway.”

  Luka nodded. “Got it. Okay, you thought about moving then decided against it. What about now? Under’s clearly a success.”

  “Eh, I don’t know.” Kyle smiled at Luka’s sidelong glance. “Creature of habit, remember?”

  Plus, I like knowing where I’ll lay my head for more than a few days at a time, too.

  Kyle shook off the thought. No need to get heavy on a sunny Friday afternoon. “A big apartment with lots of rooms means way more cleaning. Look at Carter and Riley,” he said over Luka’s laughter. “They’ve got a three-story house in Murray Hill, and they both work full time—they had to hire a housekeeper to help them out once a week. No way would I choose to clean all those rooms.”

  “You are bananas,” Luka replied, his tone fond. He guided the car out of the tunnel and slid his shades back on. “Do you think Carter and Riley should downsize?”

  “Mmm, no—I don’t see that happening. They have Sadie and Dylan part-time, so they actually do need more room.” Kyle squinted against the change in light. “And Riley was given the beach house before he and Carter got together. Ri loves that house. I think he’d live there year-round if he could.”

  “It’s that nice?”

  “It’s great, but he’d love the place even if it were a shack. Not that the Porter-Wrights would own something junky. The house used to belong to Ri’s parents,” Kyle said. “He spent a lot of time there growing up, and they gave it to him as a gift.”

  Luka whistled. “Some gift. What was the occasion?”

  “His engagement.”

  “The engagement to the now ex-wife? Hoo boy.”

  “Yup.” Kyle turned his eyes back on the road but reached out so his knuckles rested against Luka’s hip. “After he took it over, he and his wife would bring Carter and Kate and other friends out for vacation weeks and that kind of thing.”

  “That sounds so weird considering their lives now.”

  “Right? Carter’s ex is nice, but it’s impossible for me to picture him with anyone but Ri.”

  “What about Riley’s ex?” Luka asked.

  “I’ve never met her in person,” Kyle replied. “From what I hear, she’s a world-class ice queen with a resting bitchface that could turn you to salt.”

  Luka cackled. “Damn. But they were all split up when you met them, right?”

  “Yes. When I met Carter, he and Kate were either already divorced or about to be—otherwise, I wouldn’t have dated him at all.” Kyle sniffed. “Car introduced me to Riley a few months later, but Riley and Will were dating at the time.”

  “Oh, man, that’s right!” Luka snapped his fingers. “Didn’t Ri say he and Carter used to fool around before their divorces, too?”

  “Yep, but there were more than just the two of them involved.”

  “We’re so gossipy.”

  Kyle laughed. “We really are! Calling a stop on the gossip, starting now.”

  “Just as well.” Luka smirked. “I need a scorecard to keep track of the dramas at this rate.”

  Kyle scoffed. “There’s no drama. Or, there’s rarely drama. Malcolm keeps a spreadsheet with all the hook-ups and pairings if you’re interested in getting the juicy details, by the way.”

  Luka burst out laughing. �
�He does not!”

  “He does—Malcolm knows all the tea. Ask him about it when we get there.”

  Kyle and Luka continued chatting as the car traveled the Long Island Expressway, trading news and, yes, a little gossip about their friends and family. A quiet happiness filtered over Kyle when he considered how those circles had begun to overlap.

  Despite the differences in paychecks and family fortunes, Luka fit in with Kyle’s friends, the same way Malcolm and Will had, and David and Cam after them. The speakeasy guys liked and respected Luka, and so did Oliver, despite the miles separating him from New York.

  Kyle’s connections with the Clarke-Padillas were still forming, but he’d gained traction through Marcus and Ruby. Ruby’d infiltrated the speakeasy, and Kyle had enjoyed watching her and a friend flirting with Jesse, Cam and Astrid.

  Regina and Wade had extended an olive branch to Kyle, too. They’d welcomed him into their home and to their table, and Kyle recognized Regina’s genuine efforts to get to know him. Did bemusement sometimes cross her face when her gaze swept over Kyle and Luka? Yes. She might question Kyle’s rightness for her brother—as an older sibling, Kyle understood her impulse—but she was trying. She’d even pulled Kyle into the kitchen after dinner for a chat.

  ‘I know it’s not easy meeting this family and being tossed into the middle of everything.’

  Regina had arranged apple and raspberry turnovers from Sugar Street on a platter while they’d waited for coffee to brew. Kyle had seen the resemblance between her and Luka around their eyes despite Regina’s being a deep, warm brown.

  ‘It’s fine,’ Kyle had replied. ‘Every family’s dynamic is different.’

  ‘True. Wade told me it took a while before he felt like he belonged however,’ she’d said, ‘and I’m glad you’re willing to put yourself through it. I think you’re good for Luka.’

  ‘Thank you for saying that.’ Kyle’s face had gone hot. ‘Luka’s good for me, too.’

  Regina had smiled. ‘Lord, your cheeks are red. Luka’s going to think I upset you.’

  ‘No worries—he’s used to it by now. There’s no in between for me, so when I’m not paper-white, I’m pink.’