To Mend a Marriage

by Carole Mortimer

‘Hugh seems to feel there’s more wrong with you than just a headache.’ Nick was finally the one to softly break the awkward silence between them.

  A sick heart didn’t count as a genuine illness! ‘Hugh fusses,’ she dismissed impatiently. But she would have to have a few words with her assistant when next she saw him; she did not want him discussing her with Nick, no matter how much he might like and respect the older man.

  ‘He cares, Gemini,’ Nick corrected pointedly.

  She didn’t care what Hugh did, as long as he hadn’t mentioned Danny’s telephone call to the salon yesterday lunchtime!

  Nick looked at her intently. ‘You aren’t feeling this way because of last night, are you? I didn’t hurt you, did I?’

  She was glad they had reached her bedroom as he asked these probing questions; she felt slightly weak at the knees again as she too easily recalled the passion between them.

  She sat down heavily on the stool in front of her dressing table. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Nick; I’m not made of porcelain,’ she snapped irritably. ‘But I would really rather not discuss last night,’ she added weakly.

  His mouth twisted derisively as he looked down at her. ‘So I gathered earlier today,’ he acknowledged dryly. ‘But it’s my experience that it isn’t always possible to dismiss a moment of madness as easily as that!’

  Was that what last night had been for them? A moment of madness…?

  Or was he talking about something else, possibly referring to the existence of Jessica. Because if he was, he was going to have to give her a darn sight better explanation than that for having renewed his relationship with Jemima!

  ‘You could be pregnant, Gemini,’ Nick pointed out harshly as she made no response to his earlier remark. ‘Unless you were using some sort of contraception—because I certainly wasn’t!’

  Pregnant…!

  Over the weekend, while looking after Jessica, she had half dreamed of having Nick’s child, of caring for their own child in the way she was for Jessica. But after today, after realising that Jessica was Nick’s daughter, having his child herself was the last thing she wanted!

  And what did he mean, unless she was using some sort of contraception? Most forms of contraception on her part he would surely have been aware of, and for her to have been on an oral contraception would have required premeditation on her part. Or another reason—another man!—she was taking oral contraception for!

  God, they weren’t back to Danny again—were they…?

  ‘Oh, no, you don’t, Nick.’ She stood up shakily, facing him angrily. ‘You aren’t turning last night around on me. As I remember it, it was a mutual thing. And I’m not pregnant!’ she assured him, with more force than certainty.

  His expression became stony, and he stepped back. ‘In that case this conversation is unnecessary,’ he told her woodenly.

  ‘Totally,’ she agreed vehemently.

  ‘Fine,’ he acknowledged tautly.

  But he made no move to leave…

  ‘Wasn’t it lucky for Jemima that you were at home earlier when she called from the airport to say she was back?’ Gemini added challengingly.

  ‘Very.’ He nodded abruptly. ‘If you recall, I wanted to be out to lunch with you,’ he reminded her quietly.

  So he had. So Nick being able to collect Jemima from the airport had just been coincidence, after all…

  But that still didn’t change anything. Not Jessica’s parentage. Not Nick’s involvement with Jemima. It certainly didn’t make what had happened between the two of them last night any easier to come to terms with.

  Gemini sighed tiredly. ‘Jemima is waiting for you to take her home,’ she reminded him flatly.

  ‘She can damn well—’ Nick broke off his forceful explosion, breathing deeply to calm his anger, shaking his head as he looked across at Gemini. ‘Jemima’s wants and needs aren’t of particular importance to me at this moment.’

  Because he was angry with her for just going off and leaving Jessica in that way. But it was an anger he would get over. As he had obviously got over being angry with Jemima for her affair with Danny last year…

  ‘Forget about Jemima for the moment.’ Much as she had realised earlier how much she still loved her twin, at this moment Gemini wished she could forget about Jemima for ever! ‘Jessica is the innocent in all of this—mess,’ she bit out distastefully. ‘In my opinion, she is the one everyone ought to be thinking about.’ And to her way of thinking Jessica would benefit from the presence in her life of both her parents!

  Nick shook his head. ‘Do you think I haven’t talked to Jemima about that? But you know what she’s like,’ he added grimly before Gemini could formulate an answer. ‘If she has to, she says she’ll manage on her own.’

  Gemini swallowed hard, her throat feeling very dry, her lips hardly moving as she spoke. ‘And does she have to?’ She held her breath as she waited for his answer.

  He sighed heavily. ‘I don’t think that’s up to me—do you?’ He looked at her intently.

  Then who was it up to? Her? Was Nick—? No, not just Nick, but Jemima too. Were they expecting her to be the one to free Nick from his marriage? She couldn’t! It wasn’t fair of them to expect her to.

  ‘You really do need to get into bed.’ Nick easily noted the way her face had paled even more, leaving her chalky white now. ‘As I said, I won’t be long—’

  ‘And as I said,’ she put in firmly, no longer looking at him as she threw back the bedclothes, ‘I shall be asleep when you get back.’ She turned to look at him challengingly.

  ‘Gemini…!’ Nick groaned achingly. ‘I wish to God I could make this easier for you—’

  ‘Just go, Nick!’ she bit out gratingly, having no idea how much longer she could hold onto the small reservoir of control she had left. ‘Maybe—maybe later on we can talk like two civilised adults.’ Although in her case it would have to be a lot later!

  ‘I wish— Oh, damn what I wish,’ he rasped harshly. ‘But one thing, Gemini—I’m not going to apologise for what happened last night!’ he told her grimly, before turning on his heel and slamming out of the room.

  Gemini sat down gratefully on the bed. No one, it appeared, was going to apologise for last night…

  A sob caught in the back of her throat, choking her, and she buried her face in her hands.

  It was over, that rosy glow of hope she had lived under for the last six months, since she’d realised that she had unknowingly fallen in love with Nick. There was nowhere for those emotions to go now, no way she could even fight to keep Nick—not when there was a baby’s welfare involved.

  But it seemed that Nick and Jemima were leaving it to her to be the one who made any decisions that needed to be made. And, in the circumstances, there was only one decision that could be made.

  Divorce…

  Just the word made her shudder. How much more painful would the reality of it be, especially when she still loved Nick?” How could she release him so that he could be with her sister? But, in the circumstances, how could she not…?

  It was odd how calm she felt—well, perhaps calm was the wrong word, Gemini acknowledged ruefully to herself; resigned was probably the right way to describe how she felt.

  She hadn’t gone to sleep after she’d heard Nick leave the house with Jemima, but had lain awake, going over each of the options still open to her: to stay, to go, or to go with her dignity, at least, still intact. She had decided, finally, on the latter. Dignity, after all, was all she would be able to leave with!

  That decision made, she had slept, heavily and deeply, waking to find the house in darkness, knowing that it must be some hours now since Nick had left with Jemima. And since he had returned…?

  There was only one way to find that out, she realised as she looked at the bedside clock and saw it was an hour before their customary dinnertime; she would have to go downstairs and find out.

  But before going downstairs she took a shower, washing her hair too, and after drying it, she brushed it u
ntil it shone in silky darkness about her shoulders. The make-up she applied hid the shadows beneath the blue of her eyes, her blusher giving colour to her cheeks and the red lipgloss she applied to her lips the exact colour of the red knee-length dress she chose to wear.

  Her mother had told her years ago, ‘If you know you’re about to lose a fight, then make sure you’re looking your best when you do it—it will make you feel better about yourself, and your opponent will at least take a second look!’ It was too late for Nick to take a second look at her—he had already chosen the twin he wanted!—but it wasn’t too late to follow her mother’s advice and at least feel better about herself.

  She was twenty-nine years of age, and although at this moment she might feel as if her life were over, she knew that in reality it wasn’t. GemStone would still go on, and along with it so would she. Maybe not as she had been, but nevertheless she would go on.

  Now all she had to do was get through this evening with Nick!

  All…!

  Maybe he wouldn’t be downstairs, after all. No, of course he would be downstairs; he had said he wouldn’t be long taking Jemima back home, and Nick wasn’t yet a man who didn’t keep his word. Yet? No matter what might have gone wrong between them now, Nick had always been honest with her. Or at least she had thought he had…

  He was home. She could see the lamps on in the sitting-room as she came down the stairs, could even hear the chink of ice in his glass as he enjoyed his customary glass of whisky before dinner.

  She drew in a deep breath, composing herself before she had to go in and face him. Composing herself! Was there any way to prepare herself for the encounter ahead?

  ‘Gemini—!’ Nick rose sharply to his feet as she appeared in the doorway. He was still wearing the dark green shirt and black trousers he’d changed into earlier this afternoon, and from the look of his hair he’d run his fingers through it several times while he sat and drank his whisky.

  ‘Good evening, Nick,’ she heard herself greet him smoothly as she strolled into the room. ‘Could I have a glass of sherry, please?’ she requested, before sitting down in the chair opposite him.

  He didn’t move, looking at her with narrowed eyes, his gaze searching. ‘Is that wise, after your migraine earlier?’ he said slowly.

  ‘I feel fine now,’ she dismissed.

  ‘But—’

  ‘Nick, I think I’m old enough to decide whether or not I feel well enough to drink a glass of sherry before dinner,’ she told him derisively.

  He gave an acknowledging inclination of his head before standing up. ‘You seem to be old enough to decide quite a lot of things today,’ he drawled dryly, moving to pour the sherry. ‘Are there any other decisions you’ve made today that I should know about?’ He quirked dark brows at her enquiringly as he gave her the glass of sherry.

  Gemini drew in a deep breath, opening her mouth to speak—only to find she couldn’t get a word past her lips!

  Tell him, she instructed herself firmly. Go on, tell him you’ll agree to the divorce. Go on, tell him!

  ‘I’ve been asleep most of the afternoon, Nick,’ she answered dismissively. ‘I very rarely make decisions in my sleep.’ She took a sip of the sherry, relieved when the alcohol burnt the back of her throat. It showed her she really was awake, and not in the middle of a nightmare!

  He drew in a sharp breath. ‘You certainly seem to be fully recovered,’ he bit out tersely.

  Her mouth twisted ruefully. ‘Don’t I just?’ She took another sip of her sherry, its sustaining warmth helping slightly. But only slightly…

  They were already behaving like strangers. Not even particularly polite ones, she realised sadly. And she knew a lot of that was her fault. But she didn’t feel particularly polite!

  ‘I told Mrs James that I didn’t think you would be down for dinner.’ Nick frowned. ‘I had better go and tell her I was wrong.’

  ‘No, I’ll go.’ Gemini stood up smoothly. ‘After all, I’m the one causing the inconvenience.’ She was also the one who needed a little breathing space!

  At least she managed to get out of the room without letting Nick see how unnerved she really was. She’d know this wasn’t going to be easy, but actually being with Nick, looking at him, made it virtually impossible to come out with the words she needed—had!—to say.

  ‘Mrs Drummond!’ The housekeeper looked pleased to see her, at least, turning from the salad she had been preparing to smile at Gemini warmly. ‘Are you feeling better?’

  ‘Much,’ Gemini lied. ‘I just wanted to let you know I’m down for dinner, too.’

  Rachel James smiled. ‘I would have brought you up a tray, anyway.’

  She was going to miss the other woman when she left, Gemini realised sadly as she made her way slowly back to the sitting-room. And she would be the one that left.

  This had been Nick’s home long before the two of them were married; it was only right he should continue to live here. Besides, there was a small, unoccupied apartment at the back of the salon where she could go until she found somewhere more suitable for her to live.

  Suitable… She had a feeling that nowhere that Nick wasn’t would ever be that to her!

  ‘That’s fine,’ she told him brightly as she came back into the sitting-room, picking up her glass of sherry but not sitting down this time; they would be going through to dinner soon, anyway. ‘Did Jemima get—home okay?’ She wasn’t even sure where her sister’s home was any more, although she knew that the one bed-roomed apartment where Jemima had used to live couldn’t possibly be big enough for her, Jessica, and the baby’s nanny.

  Nick had resumed his seat beside the unlit fireplace, his expression becoming grim at the mention of her sister. ‘Yes,’ he confirmed tersely.

  She nodded. ‘It seems—very quiet without Jessica, doesn’t it?’ she realised wistfully.

  It was strange how in only a matter of days a baby became the very centre of a household. Every move made, it seemed had been around the baby’s needs.

  Yes, she was going to miss Jessica. But once Jemima and Nick were actually together Gemini knew she would never be able to see her niece again. Basically because she would never be able to cope with seeing Nick and her sister together!

  ‘Very,’ Nick acknowledged tersely. ‘Although look on the bright side. It means you’ll be able to get back to living normally again.’

  Normal. She wasn’t sure what that was going to be for her in future…

  But once again she had been given the ideal opportunity to say what needed to be said. Except…

  This was probably her last evening with Nick. And it wasn’t as if it was an especially relaxing evening, she inwardly rebuked herself. The two of them were like fencing opponents, circling around each other—although in their particular case neither of them seemed to want to strike that fatal blow!

  She was being silly. Why make this more difficult for herself than it need be? Besides, she didn’t feel in the least like eating, so why prolong the inevitable by drawing attention to her lack of appetite?

  Mrs James stood in the doorway to announce happily, ‘Dinner is ready.’

  And with that Gemini had once again lost her chance, having little choice but to stand up and follow Nick into the dining-room, where their plates of melon and parma ham were already on the table.

  ‘You seem very—subdued this evening.’ Nick was the one to finally break the silence between them as they ate. ‘Are you sure you’re feeling completely well again after your migraine?’

  ‘Positive,’ she answered unhesitatingly.

  And, despite her not feeling hungry, the melon and ham was actually giving her back some of her inner strength, reminding her that she hadn’t eaten anything at all today but the croissants Mrs James had provided for her breakfast; she’d missed out on lunch altogether after refusing Nick’s invitation. No wonder she had ended up with a migraine!

  ‘Don’t worry about me, Nick,’ she told him dismissively. ‘Like Jemima, I can look aft
er myself.’ Her mouth twisted wryly at her unintended mention of her sister; she just couldn’t seem to keep Jemima out of the conversation. Although, in the circumstances, was that so surprising?

  ‘But unlike Jemima,’ Nick bit out abruptly, ‘you don’t have to!’

  She looked at him over the rim of her wine glass, her eyes deeply blue. ‘Don’t I?’ she challenged softly.

  ‘No,’ he returned harshly. ‘You’re my wife—’

  ‘That’s something I think we need to talk about—don’t you?’ she cut in firmly—before she lost her nerve!

  They could carry on fencing the conversation like this all evening, and in the end the outcome would still be the same. Inevitably the same…

  Nick’s mouth had tightened grimly. ‘I don’t think I’m going to like what you have to say next!’

  Gemini swallowed hard; she didn’t like it, either—but one of them had to say it! And it had to be her…

  ‘I’m leaving you, Nick,’ she stated bluntly, stiffening in trepidation as she saw the pupils of Nick’s eyes almost totally obscure the emerald iris.

  CHAPTER TEN

  ‘NOT NOW, Mrs James,’ Nick rasped, looking over Gemini’s shoulder to the doorway, where the housekeeper had appeared obviously to remove their used plates. ‘I’ll ring for you when we’ve finished,’ he added gratingly.

  Gemini didn’t move, not giving so much as a glance in the other woman’s direction. But she still knew the exact moment the housekeeper left to return to the kitchen as she suddenly felt the full blast of Nick’s furious gaze levelled in her own direction.

  ‘I told you Sunday night,’ he bit out chillingly. ‘I’ll never agree to an easy divorce so that you can marry my brother!’

  Gemini shook her head. ‘The question of divorce is up to you, Nick.’ She wasn’t going to make all of this easy for him, either; he could do some of the work himself! ‘I merely want you to know that I’m leaving.’

  Merely…! This physical letting go was the hardest thing she had ever done in her life. She was sure the emotional letting go was going to be so much harder.