Alaska (Sawyer's Ferry Book 1)

by Cate Ashwood

  “Yeah. I had to remove her spleen, but we managed to get all the bleeders and she’s stable for now.”

  “Oh, thank Christ.” Logan visibly relaxed. “Thank you.” He turned his attention to the rest of the room. “Let’s get this OR cleaned up and turned over. We have two more patients who need surgery.”

  Everyone was drained, but they hurried into action.

  I followed Logan out of the OR, stripping off my bloody gown, mask, and gloves before exiting through the door and out into the hallway. It was deserted for the time being, and Logan’s expression was carefully guarded. My mind was still with the patient in the OR, the first woman I’d performed a life-or-death operation on since my residency.

  “Is her family here?”

  “Don’t worry about that,” Logan assured me. “I know them. I’ll take care of it.”

  “And the operative report?”

  “I’ll take care of that too. The surgery is recorded. I’ll dictate from the video.” There was a softness to his voice, as though I was the family member he was about to break the bad news to.

  I watched through the window as the patient was wheeled out. The floor looked like a horror show, but now that the adrenaline of the operation had worn off, the full weight of realization settled over me. While I’d been operating, nothing else had existed, but now that my patient was stable, things were much more uncertain. I’d operated on someone without a license in the state of Alaska.

  “I’m in a lot of shit, aren’t I?”

  “Not at all. You saved her life. That was Diana Alston you operated on.” He relayed her name like she was a movie star I should have recognized. At my blank look, he continued. “She’s our colleague—the other surgeon on staff here. You saved her life.”

  “The state medical board may not be as grateful.”

  “You did the right thing, and we have Good Samaritan laws in Alaska to protect you. Trust me. No one is going to be anything but grateful that you stepped in the way you did.”

  I wasn’t so sure, but he seemed so certain I couldn’t help but believe him.

  “How are the rest of the patients?”

  “Critical, but stable. I’m heading in there as soon as the room is prepped. Gage is finishing up downstairs, but he’ll be up in a few minutes.”

  “Only two more surgeries?” I asked, remembering what Logan had said a minute before.

  Logan nodded. “Thankfully. The patients brought in on the last trip are stable enough to wait until we can transfer them out to Anchorage, hopefully later this afternoon. Gage finished up a chest wall stabilization in the trauma room a few minutes ago, and I’ll likely need a second set of hands for this procedure, but the other one is simple enough. I’ll check the charts and see if I can’t cover for Gage. You two had a hell of a morning.”

  “You sure you don’t want me to stay to help out?”

  “No offense, but you look like you’re about to collapse.”

  I felt like it too.

  “Get out of here. Get some rest. You earned it.”

  I thanked him, and he disappeared into the scrub room.

  Sitting down on one of the beds parked in the hall, the magnitude of my exhaustion became acutely apparent. I wanted to fall into my bed and sleep for the next thirty-two days.

  A minute later, Gage came around the corner looking as weary as I felt, his scrubs rumpled and his hair mussed. “Rough procedure?”

  “You could say that,” he said, coming to stand in front of me. “She’ll live, though. Gonna be a bitch of a recovery, but she’ll make it.”

  Uncaring of who was around to see, I reached for him and he let me pull him to me. He put his arms around my back and held me tight as I sagged against him and rested my head on his chest.

  “Thank you.” The words were low, just a rumble, but I felt how much he meant them. Sliding his hands along the side of my face, he tilted my head back and kissed me, slow and thorough. When he pulled back, I exhaled, all the tension flowing out of me.

  “You should go back to the hotel.”

  I leaned back to look at him.

  “I meant what I said before. Pack your stuff. Throw it all in your suitcase because as soon as I’m done here, I’m going to come get you. You’re coming home with me, and you’re not leaving until you absolutely have to.”

  I couldn’t help the dopey smile that spread across my face. “Okay. I’ll see you soon.”

  “Yes, you will.” He kissed me again, and then he was gone.

  CHAPTER SIXTEEN

  This day hadn’t turned out at all like I thought it would. The possibility of a routine shift at the hospital followed by a good meal and acrobatic sex had exploded two minutes after I’d left Holden, and now we were both crashing hard. The drive to my place seemed longer than usual, Holden slumped into the seat next to me, my hand on his thigh. He’d almost fallen asleep by the time we’d arrived.

  We dumped his stuff in the front entrance, and I pulled him inside, locking the world away behind us. I drew the curtains closed and lit a fire in the fireplace, then tugged him after me to the bathroom. He went willingly, pliant and loose, like he could barely hold himself up. I stood him on the bath mat as I started the water, then turned back to him. He was still wearing the scrubs from the hospital, and I had to admit, it turned me on a little to see him dressed like that.

  I pulled him close and kissed him hard. He opened for me, letting me deepen the kiss without a second of hesitation. It was like his body responded to me without conscious thought, and there was a very specific part of me that loved the idea of it.

  Gripping the hem of his shirt, I pulled it up and over his head, then pushed his pants down over his hips. He stepped out of them and kicked them into the corner where I deposited my clothes as well before pulling him into the shower with me.

  His eyes were heavy-lidded, and as we stepped under the warm spray, he leaned into me. I pulled him close, enjoying the feeling of his bare skin against mine. He rested his forehead against my chest, and I slid my fingers through his hair.

  “The OR nurses all said you were amazing today,” I murmured.

  “Not sure amazing is the right word.” His voice was barely audible over the sound of the water. “Obligated might be better.”

  “Maybe. But you did the right thing.”

  “I know,” he said.

  “And everyone was floored by your surgical skills. The anesthesiologist even used the term ‘genius.’”

  “Then he’s used to seeing some pretty piss-poor surgeons.” Holden looked pointedly at me, and then his serious expression broke and a smile spread. I pulled him back against me, letting the warm water wash away the exhaustion, the sweat and tension swirling down the shower drain. Holden looked up at me with wet hair and soft eyes—it made him look younger, maybe a little bit more innocent. It was a complete turnaround from the man I’d seen in the ER, and I couldn’t decide which I liked better.

  I leaned forward and kissed him, a slow and gentle press of my lips to his unhurriedly transforming into something more. He slid his hands over my shoulder, and I reached behind him to grab the shower gel. I squirted a little into my palm and rubbed my hands together before smoothing them over Holden’s skin.

  Adding a little pressure, I massaged him, soothing away any leftover strain.

  “That’s good,” he mumbled against my shoulder.

  I reached lower, my fingers teasing at the crease of his ass. I could feel him harden against me. I was already halfway there. Holden rocked against me, and my erection filled completely. His movements were languid and slow, but it didn’t dampen the simmering desire between us.

  With a palmful of conditioner, I reached for his thick cock, lining it up with mine, and wrapped my fist around them both. Unhurriedly I jacked us together, my fingers twisting a little with each upstroke. Holden’s breathing sped and his muscles tensed, but I took my time. I wanted to go slow, to draw it out, to let the pleasure build gradually.

  I got
lost in the feeling of Holden’s cock against mine, the way our skin slipped together between the tight grip of my fingers. His soft moans became the soundtrack for my pleasure as I gave him what he needed and took what I wanted. All too soon, it became all too much. I could feel myself tipping over the edge, losing grip on my control. I breathed his name as my cock spasmed.

  Holden was right behind me—I felt him tense as he gasped, his orgasm overtaking him. He clung to me and I kissed him, bringing him down slowly as the water washed the come from my fist.

  We were both quiet for several long minutes, letting the heat and steam soak in before Holden spoke. “We should probably get out before the hot water’s all gone and the cold shock ruins this pleasant postorgasmic haze I’ve got going on.”

  I chuckled, the sound reverberating off the tiled walls. “Yeah, okay.” I reached past him and turned the dials, cutting the water, even though it was the last thing I wanted to do. If I could have stayed in that shower with him for another year, I would have.

  We stepped out and Holden grabbed towels from the shelf for both of us.

  Once we’d dried off and gotten dressed, we headed back downstairs.

  “Don’t suppose you get pizza delivery out here, do ya?” Holden asked hopefully, sinking onto the couch and pulling his feet up under him.

  I grabbed the giant fleece blanket from the trunk behind the couch and draped it over him. “Nope. I think the delivery area covers approximately one square mile.”

  “Of course.”

  “I’ll throw something quick together.” I dropped a kiss on the top of his head before heading to the kitchen.

  As I pulled open the fridge, my phone rang. It was Logan.

  “I was wondering how long it’d take you to call.” I could hear a siren in the background. “You’re not still at the hospital, are you?”

  “Yeah. Alston is down for the count,” he reminded me. “No one else to cover.”

  I paused halfway through spreading mayo on the bread. “Shit. I can’t believe I forgot. I should be the one covering.”

  “Nah, you rest up. We’re gonna be run off our feet—more than usual—until Diana’s all healed up. Besides, I promised Prescott I’d do the operative report on his surgery.”

  My stomach dropped. Any hot water he ended up in would be my fault. “Any chance there’ll be blowback on that?”

  “Don’t think so. Good Samaritan law protects Prescott, and he saved Diana’s life. She wouldn’t have made it otherwise, and you know Ray as well as I do. All he’s gonna care about is that his wife is okay.”

  I gave a quiet sigh of relief, but that relief was cut short.

  “That’s not the only reason I’m calling.”

  “Please don’t tell me there’s some other crisis.”

  “Nope. The opposite, actually. I just finished watching the video of Prescott’s surgery.”

  “And it’s not a crisis?”

  “Nuh-uh. The guy’s amazing.”

  That wasn’t what I’d expected him to say. It wasn’t that I didn’t have confidence in Holden’s ability with a scalpel, but I’d assumed he’d performed the bare minimum to keep his license, and splenic damage wasn’t exactly in his wheelhouse.

  “I’ve never seen anyone resect an organ as quickly or as efficiently as he did. He’s like a fucking surgical rock star.”

  I laughed. “I’ll be sure to pass along your praise.”

  “I think we should hire him.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Think about it. Diana is out for God knows how long. We’re understaffed and Sawyer’s Ferry isn’t exactly a booming metropolis. It’s gonna be tough to attract another surgeon as it is. The only reason we got you is because I conned you into coming.”

  “Yeah, but it’s not exactly a perfect solution. It’ll take months to get him licensed here.”

  “We can apply for him to work as a locum. There’s a provision to expedite the process if there’s dire need, and I’d say SFRH is in dire need.”

  I hesitated. Holden staying opened up a whole host of issues I’d rather not deal with, but Logan seemed so sure. I couldn’t think of a single reason that wasn’t either personal or completely selfish to say no.

  “If he’s up for it, I think it’s worth a shot. He’s amazing, Gage. You shoulda seen him.”

  A little flare of pride lit in my chest.

  “At least broach the subject with him. See how he feels about the idea. You said yourself he’s got nothing to go home to in New York. So why leave at all?”

  I wasn’t sure how I felt about it. The idea of Holden sticking around for a few months longer did have a certain appeal.

  “I think it takes a couple of weeks, and he’d have clearance to practice for three months. By then, Diana should be back on her feet and it’ll give Prescott a chance to figure out what he wants to do next. Win-win-win.”

  “It’s one option. I just don’t know how fond of the idea he’ll be.”

  “You’ll never know if you don’t ask.” I could tell there was more behind that sentence than the surface meaning. Maybe he could tell I was stuttering with the idea of Holden’s time in Sawyer’s Ferry being even slightly more permanent than a week. I knew it was ridiculous, but it felt dangerous.

  “I’ll ask him,” I promised. I said goodbye to Logan and hung up.

  “Ask me what?”

  I turned to see Holden leaning against the doorjamb, his hands in his pockets. I had no idea how long he’d been there. “If you want a job.”

  He crossed the kitchen and placed his hand on my forehead.

  “What are you doing?”

  “Checking to make sure you aren’t wildly febrile because you’re making no sense. You remember I don’t have a license in Alaska, right? It’s the reason I’m going to end up going to jail and becoming some lumberjack’s bitch for operating on Dr. Alston.”

  I laughed. “That’s quite an image.”

  “Just being realistic.”

  “You are not and you know it. Logan already told you you’re off the hook for the surgery.” I dropped a kiss on his forehead. “Go sit down and I’ll bring you food. We can talk about it once you’ve got something in your belly. You look like you’re about to keel over.”

  “Fine.”

  I finished making the sandwiches, then tidied up. When they were done baking, I pulled them out of the oven and slid them onto plates, then carried them into the living room. Holden was back on the couch and had cocooned himself in the blanket.

  “Thanks,” he said, reaching up from his nest to take the plate from me. I hunkered down next to him, sliding my feet under his blanket. “So you wanna explain now?”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Yep. It was official. They were both certifiably insane.

  A job? In Sawyer’s Ferry?

  Apparently, Logan seemed to think I could be licensed within a couple of weeks, and for a second I entertained the thought of what me staying would look like. My gut reaction was no fucking way, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it might be a good solution.

  Temporarily anyway.

  Returning to New York meant returning to a borrowed bed, no job, and no money.

  So maybe sticking around here wouldn’t be so bad. Three months of hot sex with Gage wouldn’t exactly be the worst thing… And a job to put on my résumé would help me find something back in New York when I was done. Rent in the arctic circle had to be cheap. I could sock away some money for my own place once I moved back.

  I narrowed my eyes as I looked at him. There were some ticks in the pro column, but I wasn’t totally convinced it was the right decision. A lot of factors needed to be considered and my judgment was clouded by hormones and lust. When I looked at Gage, all I could see was sex, and that sex was particularly addictive.

  What I needed was time and space to think clearly about the options.

  “When do I need to decide?”

  “Not tonight,” Gage said, taking my
empty plate and setting it down on the coffee table.

  I took it as an invitation and crawled into his lap. When he put his hands on me, it was so reminiscent of the first night we’d spent together. I felt like the whole world had upended itself since then.

  “You don’t need to decide anything right now.” Gage put his arms around me and pulled me closer to him. His lips were on my neck, pressed softly against my pulse point, and he made me feel completely breathless. “You aren’t scheduled to fly out until tomorrow.”

  I turned my head, taking his mouth and wrapping my arms tighter around his neck. He was right. Nothing needed to be decided immediately. I had tonight to enjoy being with Gage, to put off thinking about anything real until the last possible second, and that’s exactly what I intended to do.

  “I’ve decided. I’m staying.”

  “What?” Gage rolled over and looked at me with sleepy eyes and an expression I couldn’t read. Now the decision I’d been so sure of five minutes ago seemed a lot less certain.

  So much for taking time and space to think it over without the haze of hormones. By the time Gage had finished with me the night before, I shouldn’t have been capable of coherent thoughts at all. But after he’d fallen asleep, my mind had taken off, running with every thought in every direction.

  Hours of tossing and turning later, and I thought I’d figured out what I wanted.

  “I’m gonna stay. Not forever, but at least until after I hear back from the board.” It wasn’t like my father was going to foot the bill for the flights, and I was a good flirt but probably not good enough to convince the guy at the American Airlines counter to print me off a ticket or two for free. “After that, I guess if they reject me I’ll head back to New York, but it doesn’t make sense to fly back and forth.”

  Gage smiled, but I couldn’t tell if he was placating me or genuinely happy. “Logan will be thrilled.”

  “That’s good to know.” And not really the response I’d been hoping for. I was naked in Gage’s bed and the best he had was “Logan will be thrilled”? That stung more than it should have, but I didn’t want him to see my confidence falter. I tucked away my bruised ego and rolled onto my side to prop myself up on my elbow. “So what happens now?”