Ivair Antonio Gomes

by Death in the Camping

  But if Marcelo even at this time still had a souvenir of Sildit, this remembrance, soon it would decrease.

  The first time he saw her was by chance.

  He was coming back from work on a Saturday afternoon.

  He stopped on a newsstand and talked a little bit to a girl who was attending there which also served as photographic shop.

  The clerk was a college acquaintance. Marcelo was in his working clothes. A gray overall, a leather backpack crossed off the chest, wearing boots accessories that all the pedestrians used.

  As he left the newsstand he stumbled upon someone on the sidewalk.

  He looked up to ask apologies and saw the most beautiful girl that he has ever seen.

  He stammered awkwardly and she smiled.

  White teeth and perfect covered by fleshy red lips. Her face was of an unparalleled brilliance and her eyes green which looked like more two emeralds stars shining in her fiddling way. Her blond hair, curly and long, danced by the wind puffing.

  He stood up there and kept still, without knowing what to say, she smiled and moved away with the friend who was with her who he had not noticed before.

  He went walking and every second steps looked back hopping her to look back also.

  Once he saw her looking back to him as well. He smiled and internally felt a happiness that he did not understand and for a long time which never took hold of him.

  At night, as he went to church, he saw her on the other side of the banks corridor. She really was without shadow of doubt the most beautiful girl in the town. It’s incredible that why he had never seen her before.

  On the following week he worked, then he went to school, and every day he dreamed to meet her once again.

  However, he feared internally.

  He had once suffered a lot with what he felt for Sandra and didn’t want that to happen again.

  He expected to meet her at the weekend.

  But on Saturday afternoon he didn’t see her.

  On Sunday he went to play football with the agricultural cooperative people of the town.

  The match was in the morning and they still stayed there for lunch.

  There, things were like that, the match was in the morning, and after the visiting they stayed there for barbecue.

  Then he got back when it was nearly four o’clock p.m. well, the same truck which took them, brought them back.

  He got off in the small town center, where there was a corner. Some got off there too. But he followed his way home on his own.

  Before getting the street that leads his home, Marcelo had to pass through a football pitch, made of cement, very old, but the only one of the town.

  As he passed through this pitch, he looked further there at the bleachers made of concrete, noticed the blond girl who he desired so much to see again.

  She was with the friend who he saw with her the last time.

  She was on the other side of the pitch, but even so she’d realized him.

  Soon she began to talk more, gesticulate more, smiling happily. This shook with Marcelo.

  He remained there standing still, only in shorts, with t-shirt together with the football boots inside his backpack.

  When he realized, the princess was standing beside him talking to someone. He really got puzzled with her proximity. No, dear reader, you already know that he was not virgin anymore not even a matter of love was something knew for him as well.

  And then, he’d lost his way of charming a girl, because, he exclusively lived for works and studies.

  He feared once more making fool of himself being in love.

  Yes, you know that, every human being in love is a fool. Becomes a fool. Important things lose importance, when cupid leprechaunfully make them targets.

  Yes, love make us weak, sick, sighing and dreaming. This is no news, just if you’ve loved someone in life, you know what I am talking about.

  The blonde girl might have been five years younger than Marcelo. At that time he might have been 20 or twenty one, and she, was not more than sixteen. She was like a flower blooming. He fancied her from tip to toes. And she looked at him with the corner of her eyes.

  Marcelo was really a very handsome boy. His body was in development. He had the muscles of a well-built body and his chest were well formed. He usually made exercises with the martial arts magazines he used to collect and also with a pair of nunchaku he had. His legs always drew the girls attention for they were thick and full of hairs. His hair, black like of Indians always well combed and carefully washed every day.

  Yeah, he was vain. But who was not at this age?

  So, Marcelo took courage then, and at an instant daringly came close up to her where she was together with her friends who he only knew by face.

  ‘Hello! Are you alright?’

  She looked at him, wondering at him how he got courage.

  ‘Hi! What’s your name?

  He quickly told her his name and began talking happily, sitting on the bleachers floor. Those were moments of great magic and of the world isolation. Her words were like balm relieving his spirit.

  ‘I was in search looking for you the whole week. Where do you live?’

  ‘oh, live right here, it is that I study at... she said saying that she studied out of town, preparing herself for the entrance exam. She did not tell him exactly the place she lived, only that her parents lived downtown.

  Slowly he got courage and held her hand. She trembled. Marcelo could feel the smooth veins from where the blood passed through, he really could feel her heart beatings. They were in ecstasy, they did not realize when the football match finished and only realized when her friends approached and called her to go away.

  They said goodbye to each other, with no kisses neither hugs, only as acquaintances, with a moistened handshakes of happiness and satisfaction. They promised to meet again the next weekend.

  Well, illusion a part, he knew that she might be a daughter of a well-off people who had a better and different lifestyle living. She dressed well, above all she was well brought-up, her parents paid for her to stay in another town, the larger one and more developed. He felt himself a fool to keep any relationship with her. How? He was just a farm laborer. His father was poor and had nothing. He himself had nothing as well!

  But his heart did not let go of it like that so easily, reasonably.

  At school as he asked Luis, he came to know that she was a daughter of a rich Shop owner of the town. His suspicions were confirmed.

  But his friend as soon as he realized how this News saddened his heart, he said that he knew her brother and would introduce him to him the coming Saturday.

  He first went out with the girl secretly then openly. He took advantages of those sweet moments as if they were only ones. It was with Marcelo who she had her first kiss, the first sexual relation and also the first deception. She felt frigid, she considered the sex a blame, a sin as her parents used to tell her. They hardly had sex.

  But for him, was not the main thing. What mattered more is to have her by his side. Knowing that she liked him and he liked her. No, they did not use to say to each other “I love you”, for this phrase to Marcelo, it always looked commercial, a too banal word.

  After five months of dating, he committed a such kind of stupidity which until today he penalizes himself.

  There were in those times, even today there must still be, many dances in the Township suburbs.

  In those colonizers communities people sweat a lot all day long in the plow and hoe handle. And the company people met one another to go at these dances.

  Sometimes the people who organized the dance hired a bus to pick everybody up there. During the day there was an announcing on the radio.

  There was a boy at the company to whom Marcelo became friend with, so strong like theirs with Luis. His new friend’s name was Bonato. He was tall, blond, a very handsome boy, to whom the girls melted to. They made a pair to whom the girls hungered for.

  Before starting his dat
ing with the town blonde girl they always used to go at this dancing with Bonato.

  Although he was not a good dancer, most of the times he used to sit at the table having a beer, the boy liked the environment, and enjoyed that much.

  After his dating, Bonato began to complain of his absence at these places.

  Then, one Saturday, that the blonde said that she wouldn’t come in town, he decided to make his friend’s wish. They would go at the dancing together.

  By the way he assured to Bonato that he would not drink for he did not want to get a girl there, as he had already his princess, and was a guy with his principals. Since he didn’t want her to betray him so he would not do that with her as well, he said to his friend

  But...

  Dancing is dancing...

  When he realized he’d already taken lots of beers, so he decided to go out of the club and get a fresh air. To refresh is memory.

  On the gate he was prevented by the security who told him that he would not get out as long as it was not three o’clock a.m. he found that an absurd and started to argue at the top of their voices.

  A beautiful brunette girl, with long black hair pulled him from one arm saying to the securities he had drunken too much and he was his boyfriend.

  She hugged him and took him in a corner inside the club.

  And him already effortlessly, very drunk, he accepted her help. They started talking and drank some more beers.

  He remembered of waking up on a very smooth good smelling bed. Beside him sneezed the brunette girl who had helped him.

  He woke up.

  He did not want to do that. He must not have done that.

  He looked out through the window and concluded that they were in a single lone place own their owns.

  Her car was stopped under a jack tree. Even being in a complicated situation, he laughed to himself, imagining a jack tree falling upon the Scort XR-3, which at that time was considered a first lined modern vehicle.

  He went out from there slowly and quietly and left her sleeping in the house.

  Some days later that girl started calling him at his work.

  He had not given her his phone number, but somebody had given her probably. As he didn’t pay her attention, she decided to ruin her life all at once.

  The brunette girl knew about his relationship with the blonde girl and when the one came the following weekend, the brunette said to her that Marcelo had slept with her.

  The blonde got horrified, but even so, she trusted the boy when he explained how the things had happened. Bonito confirmed all the story.

  But the vengeful and spiteful brunette, three months later she turned up to the young boy and girl’s life again saying that she was pregnant. She showed the medical exam. Well, at that time if there existed a DNA examination already. (but as he could not pay for that, it would be useless!).

  The problem is that, the blonde’s parents forbad her to see Marcelo and the brunette’s wanted him to marry her forced like it always happened with lots of people that time.

  He ran away!

  From one day to another!

  Just like that, without further ado.

  Running away it seems to be a very strong term, however, observing well, it really was the best word that described his act.

  He got his economies in the bank, he got away from that place. Finally, if the blonde would not have her neither the brunette would have him too.

  He carried inside him a bit of grudge and also a frustration feeling.

  Life seemed to lose all senses all of sudden.

  He still remembers those days, were empties, without clear thoughts neither black ones as well.

  On the highways he’d passed through, he felt himself like a marginal looking for cops.

  When the cops passed by close to Marcelo, the one looked for all the way to hide his face from them.

  He did not know which attitude the brunette’s father would take. But he precluded.

  Once again, love did not work out. It seemed that he was condemned to wander in the world.

  His sadness were amounted one after another.

  He didn’t even think in the possibility of the child having another father.

  Which after a long time he confirmed to other people.

  But there, it was already too late none could undo the past.

  S

  even

  Marcelo went to live in the capital. During two years, he did not talk to anyone in the Family. He did not care what they would think of him.

  He was tired of living for them. He had to have his own life. And time has come to start.

  In the capital he rent a room in a pension.

  That was not an exclusive room. He divided with other three boys.

  All of them were students, so, they did not stay inside room for a long time during the day. In the evening, exhausted they entered the room just to sleep.

  Meanwhile, he went wandering the whole city in search for job and got back home tired also, that no sooner than he dined he slept.

  He started to work in a consortium store of automobile. The manager had called him in for an office assistant vacancy but as he saw he was a well communicative boy and friendly gave to Marcelo the selling area.

  The commission was good and he could rent a room for himself alone, without needing to divide it with other guys again.

  He began making plans.

  But, he realized that, he was not good for business.

  Alright, being communicative and expressing well without any problem, however he was not good at convincing clients.

  He did not have the essential thing for sellers. Maybe because he never identified himself in the area, and what is even worse for being an automobile one, that although he’d worked already for almost two years in a mechanical workshop, he did not know the right model neither did he know how to drive.

  He stayed at that work just for a week, and soon got another one in a household appliances shop. He worked in cash collection in the credit sector.

  Dedicating all his time at work, without any other wish, but of having the job to satisfy what he was required for, he was being admired by the people who worked with her.

  Soon he began to study once again, studying an introduction to computer course. At the household appliances everything was alright.

  But as a man can’t live without a woman, as the human being nature, he soon found himself involved by the legs of a beautiful woman a little bit old who worked in the shop.

  Who apparently seemed to be ten years older than him.

  Janete was of a single beauty to a lady for his age. He really seemed to be ten years less younger than her. They used to talk a lot together and soon things began to happen normally. There were only him and the cash collector manager of men at that sector. They were seven people in all. Five women.

  As it happens in all commercial companies, when the year end came, the shop made a fraternization party. Secret friends, things like that.

  Janete gave him an underwear with a hole in front. Everyone laughed. Him, still shy, he got blushing. In that very same party, later, she showed him how to use that opening. Those were erotic moments together with her. She was tall almost 1,80, short hair, very short. With a tanned skin, slim, with a gentle and sensual smile.

  Suddenly the thing got frozen, without him knowing why.

  Maybe she’d known him better that how insecure and immature he was, through the reading things he used to write and that he someday decided to show her. The truth is that gradually he felt that she did not use looking for him the way she did before.

  One day he was at the counter attending the customers as he always did. But this day the girl from the past, passed by.

  My God! This could not be true!

  But it was. It has already been one year that he was living in the capital. He never thought that he’d meet her there.

  It was the blonde girl who the parents had forbidden her to see him.

  Th
ey talked a bit. So, then he asked to the manager to let him go for a while. He let Marcelo to go for some time. He was happy to see that person again.

  He sat down with her, now that she’ s gotten a woman body. They sat down at the mattress section and Marcelo came to know that the girl was dating another guy who was studying medicine and that was passing sometime in the capital attending a congress. That was another stabbing he got. In a year exactly when she’d grown up. So, she gave the address where she was staying.

  She said that she was on her own and had no one to talk to during the day, for, she was by herself and the boyfriend and the one was away all day long.

  He combined to go out with her for lunch, since the address was quite far from the shop.

  Well, from that day on he continued going out for lunch with the blonde princess.

  She had already discovered the sexual pleasures, and how she had. He really felt inferior due to the shit he’d done before. With him, she did not use to touch in this matter. Maybe the doctor had taught her so. Truly speaking he was much more successful than Marcelo.

  This lasted almost one month. She said that she was paying for the delayed dating moment.

  He sometimes came back late to work from the lunch time. Which the people started wondering. Because he never did that for almost a year he was working there, and now that was right quite every day.

  At this moment Marcelo was saving his Money to rent a house, together with a friend who he met in the town.

  Then one Saturday night, the blonde came up to the new house which he’s just rented. Marcelo asked about her boyfriend, so she said that he’d travelled and she’d go away home on Monday, back to her studies.

  Marcelo’s friend had gone out with his girlfriend and they had the whole house only for them. Hallucinating they spend all that time entertained on love and erotic unlimited games. At last she confided him that she’ll never forget him however will never meet again, since they’ve fixed the engagement date with the doctor. Then she left and he did not have any more news about her.

  He began an entrance exam course and made new friends consequently.

  But despite of this, he seemed to have started creating his cocoon. He lived withdrawn, with the fear of people.