Heart Like Mine

by Maggie McGinnis

  “Yeah.” Delaney’s hand dropped slowly as she felt a peaceful feeling steal in. He was so matter-of-fact about Parker. All her life, people had either whispered quietly, just out of earshot, or they’d asked a hundred probing questions. It was refreshing to have Joshua treat him as if he’d just been—her little brother.

  Ten minutes later, Joshua pulled his truck into the Dunkin’ Donuts drive-thru in the center of town.

  “You were serious about more coffee, right?” He looked across the cab at her.

  “Unfortunately, yes.”

  “Good. Because I need donuts.”

  She laughed. “You’re a doctor. You eat donuts?”

  “Only on special occasions.”

  Delaney smiled. “I’m so honored to be part of one.”

  “What’s your favorite flavor?”

  “Jelly,” she said, without pausing to consider the mess she’d make eating it. “And old-fashioned.”

  He turned toward the microphone, smiling. “We’ll take two large coffees with cream, and a dozen donuts. Half jelly, half old-fashioned.”

  “A dozen?”

  He shrugged. “Breakfast and lunch. We’re on vacation, and when’s the last time you had donuts, anyway?”

  “It’s been a long time.” She laughed. “I’m not sure I packed enough workout gear to get rid of a half dozen donuts, though.”

  “No worries.” He winked as he shifted to pull up to the second window. “We’ll go out in Millie’s canoe. Two miles of paddling, and you’ll be begging for a donut.”

  * * *

  Three hours later, Delaney set her paddle across the canoe, resting her arms. Holy cow. He hadn’t been kidding about the paddling workout. She ran twenty miles a week, for God’s sake, but right now it felt like she hadn’t worked out in ten years.

  The lake was calm today, and along the shorelines she could see kids splashing and diving from docks. The sky was a perfect summer blue, and there was just enough of a breeze to keep the sun from scorching them.

  “How are your arms?” Joshua’s voice came from behind her. He was still paddling, of course. He must have a home gym where he did midnight workouts—there was no way he ever found time to actually go to one.

  “They’re good. Fine. Just wanted to pause for a second and listen for the loons.”

  “Oh, you’ll hear them, paddles or not. They’re usually out a little later, though.”

  She pointed at the tiny mountain at the north end of the lake. It was more of a hill, really, but she’d been climbing it ever since she’d moved to Vermont.

  “Do you ever go up there?”

  “Not since I was a kid. You?”

  She nodded. “Yeah. I love it. There’s a great spot overlooking the lake. You know”—she picked up the paddle again, dipping it into the water—“I haven’t been in a canoe since I was little.”

  “Did you do it back when you used to camp?”

  “Yeah.” She nodded, picturing Parker sitting on an inflatable cushion in front of her on the floor of her parents’ old canoe. That was one of their favorite parts of vacation every year.

  “Unfortunately, Mom had a nasty habit of forgetting how tippy canoes are. Every single year, we’d end up in the lake at some point, swimming back to shore.”

  “I’m sure your father loved that.”

  “You know, it’s funny. I don’t remember ever thinking he minded. He was—different—on vacation. Totally—present. It was weird. Good weird, but still—weird.”

  “So you never camped again. What did you do for vacations?”

  She shook her head, smile fading. “We never actually did another vacation together after Parker died.”

  “Oh.” He stopped paddling. “Really? None? Ever?”

  “No.”

  “So life as you knew it—”

  “Died with Parker, yeah.” She paddled, thankful she was facing away from him. “After years of researching grief, I get it now … but at the time, it was hell. There’s a whole set of grieving moms who cling so tightly to their remaining children that they almost suffocate them. My mother took the opposite approach. She was so afraid to lose someone else she loved that she just—sort of—stopped loving. I mean, I know she did love me, way down deep … but after Parker, she put up sky-high walls around her heart, and there wasn’t a chance in hell I was going to break through them. And Dad buried himself in work. That’s just … how it went.”

  “What happened, Delaney?” She felt her paddle still, then his. “How did he die?”

  “He had a heart issue, maybe something that could be fixed these days.” Her voice came out quiet. “I don’t know. He was on a transplant list, but there wasn’t a lot of hope for that to come through. My dad thought we should try one more vacation—you know—because it might be the last one.” She took a shaky breath. “Turns out it was.”

  “Oh, no.”

  “He was doing great, actually. We’d been having a lot of fun. But then one night, he just kind of fell, and it was obvious something was really wrong, but the closest hospital didn’t really have a pediatric unit or an ICU. And it was too late to medevac him to Boston.”

  “I’m really sorry, Delaney. I wish—” He sighed, and in that sigh she heard a sort of ragged pain that reflected how she felt. “I wish there was something I could say. There isn’t, though. I know that.”

  “No. You’re right. And believe it or not, I appreciate you realizing that, rather than blathering some inane comfort that isn’t. You would not believe the things people said afterward.”

  “I can’t imagine.”

  She put up her hands. “I mean, I know. I get it. What do you say to an eight-year-old who just lost her little brother? They were just trying to be nice.”

  “I’m pretty sure nobody ever knows what to say—at least to the ones left behind.”

  “Yeah.”

  They floated in silence for a long moment, and then Joshua picked up his paddle. “Did Parker like canoeing?”

  Delaney smiled. “Loved it. Especially the part about getting dunked.”

  “How about you?” He raised his eyebrows. “Did you like that part?”

  “Only if it was really hot.”

  “Hot like—today?”

  The canoe rocked slightly, and she gripped the sides tightly. “Joshua Mackenzie, don’t you dare.”

  He put down his paddle, moving his hands to the sides as well. When she looked back, he had a boyish grin on his face as he started rocking the canoe slowly.

  “Can you swim?” he asked.

  “Yes.” She cringed. “I mean, no. If I say no, will you stop?”

  “Nope. Just need to know if I have to rescue you or not.”

  Then he gave the canoe a mighty heave and dumped them both into the cool lake. She went under, and for a moment, she was eight again. The cool water enveloped her head, and every nerve ending in her body tingled as she fell through the water. When she surfaced, she couldn’t help but laugh.

  “You are still a teenager at heart.”

  “Nah.” He laughed, wiping droplets of water from his face. “If I was a teenager, I’d have dumped us much farther out so you’d have to cling to me in pretend terror. At least this way we can swim back to the dock before sunset.”

  Delaney looked back toward the tiny cottage on the shore. The dock was only about three hundred feet away, but she put her hand to her forehead in her best Scarlett O’Hara swoon.

  “I’m not sure I can make it. You might have to carry me.”

  “Gladly.” There was heat in his eyes as he grabbed the canoe and flipped it over. “Or we could just get back in the boat.”

  “Okay. Option B works.”

  She grabbed the side and tried her best to look remotely graceful climbing back in while he held it as steady as he could. Once she was in, she tried to lean just right and hold it steady enough for him to do the same. But just as he had three limbs aboard and was heaving himself over the side, she inadvertently lost her balance,
and back into the lake he went.

  She sat down quickly so she wouldn’t join him, since the boat was now rocking like crazy, and was still laughing as he sputtered back to the surface.

  She put up her hands. “I swear I didn’t do that on purpose.”

  “Sure.” He grabbed the side, but didn’t pull himself up this time. “I might believe it if you weren’t still in the canoe. It takes a certain amount of skill to dump only one person out.”

  “I promise it’s a skill I don’t have.”

  As Delaney looked down at him in the water, she swallowed hard. Braced against the canoe, his T-shirt soaked through, Joshua could have held his own on a modeling shoot. His pecs were outlined perfectly, his shirt clinging like it, too, appreciated the curves and hollows.

  And his arms—good God, his arms. They looked like they could lift her high in the air without even trying hard. Or—she swallowed again—maybe brace his body over hers for a long, long night.

  She shivered, but it wasn’t because the air was cooling.

  “Are you cold?” he asked.

  “No. Breeze just hit me.”

  He smiled. “It’s better in the water.”

  “Don’t you dare.” She held on to the sides again as he tipped the boat gently.

  A memory struck her as she sat on the webbed seat—one of her and Parker diving out of their anchored canoe and playing a swimming game while her parents got lunch ready on the shore.

  “Ever play Sharks and Minnows?” She raised her eyebrows.

  “I don’t think so. How do you play?”

  She stood up carefully, then dove quickly off the other side of the boat. Her runner’s lungs helped as she swam a long circle underwater, ending up under his dangling feet. She reached up to tickle one, then darted away.

  When she surfaced, she couldn’t see him anywhere. Then, before she could take a breath, she felt strong hands grip her calves and yank her underwater.

  “No dunking!” she sputtered as her head broke the surface.

  “You never went over the rules,” he said, laughing. “That was my best shark impression. And I’m pretty sure dunking is always allowed.”

  “When you’re twelve, yes.” She splashed him.

  “Okay, then. Enlighten me. What are the rules when you’re supposed to be acting like a grown-up?”

  She paused, thinking as she treaded water. “You know, I have absolutely no idea.”

  “Good.” He swam closer, almost touching her. “Maybe we can learn them together.”

  “Maybe.” Her voice came out all husky as her feet swished against his underwater.

  He came closer still, and she was struck by how erotic it was, both of them using their arms and legs to stay afloat, while their bodies swayed together in a gentle rhythm.

  “I’m glad you said yes to coming for the weekend.”

  “Pretty sure I’m insane, but me, too.”

  He smiled. “I know we said we wouldn’t, and I know you’re probably questioning it with every fiber of your being, but I have an idea.”

  “Okay?”

  “Nobody but Millie knows we’re here, Delaney. Let’s just pretend this is our second date. A top-secret, never-to-be-revealed-to-anybody-else weekend. Let’s forget we’re colleagues who shouldn’t be dating. Let’s also forget I’m a doctor, since I’m pretty sure you’d never date one on purpose. Plus, maybe I can get extra credit for leaving my beeper at work.”

  Delaney couldn’t help but smile as she watched him in the water, his skin glistening with droplets of water, his hair making her want to run her hands through it as she pulled him close.

  “Very tempting, I have to admit. Even though Millie stole it from your desk before you left.”

  “Details. Point is, I didn’t ask for it back.”

  She laughed. “A huge step, I’m sure.”

  “So … do we have a deal?”

  “Sounds like a fantasy. I’m not me, you’re not you, and nobody will ever know?”

  His eyes heated at her words, and the sight made her pulse race. “I’ll entertain any fantasy you can come up with. Promise.”

  “Oh. God.” Her entire body heated at his words. “Okay, okay. Deal.”

  “Excellent.” Then he reached for the tips of her fingers, linking them with his. Feeling the mixed sensation of cool water and strong, warm hands made her long for the fantasy to begin right here, right now.

  He raised his eyebrows, smiling. “Have you ever played Kiss the Mermaid?”

  “Sounds like a game made up by teenage boys at summer camp.”

  He laughed. “Maybe.” He turned to point down the shoreline. “Ethan and I spent a lot of bored summer nights paddling over to Camp Echo, hoping for a chance to meet some city girls.”

  “And that’s where Kiss the Mermaid originated?”

  “Probably.” He shrugged, then winked. “Actually, come to think of it, it was two girls from Boston who taught us the game.”

  “Sure.”

  “Well, you know what they say about Boston gals.” He slid one hand around her waist as his other kept him gently afloat.

  “What do they say?”

  He pulled her closer, then touched his lips to hers.

  “They make the best mermaids,” he murmured, then ran his hands down her arms, pulling them onto his shoulders.

  “You can’t hold us both up.” She cringed as he paddled slowly, his arms out to the side. “I’ve eaten, like, three donuts.”

  “Oh. That explains—” His last word got lost in a bubble as he let his head sink underwater, and she had to let go of his shoulders or risk going under with him.

  When he surfaced, she splashed him. “Not funny.”

  He smiled, reaching out for her again, and though she rolled her eyes, she couldn’t help but let herself float back into his embrace. This time when he kissed her, she hooked her fingers around his neck and let her body press against his. This time, she longed for his hands to roam farther than her waist. This time …

  “Hey.” She pulled back, realizing his lower body had stilled. “You’re not swimming.”

  “Reef,” he replied, pointing down, where his feet were firmly planted in the sand. “Come here, mermaid.”

  He pulled her firmly against him, and as their bodies meshed in the water, she felt like every nerve ending was strangely, gorgeously aware of the touch of his fingertips, the gentle lapping of the water, the nibbles of the minnows on their toes.

  Where their first kisses had been sweet and hot and new, these were all that, with a shot of smoldering promise layered on top. Tonight they weren’t going to have to go their separate ways and meet for a polite hello at the hospital in the morning.

  No. Tonight they’d have nothing but each other to keep them occupied. The cabin had no phone service, no television, no computer. Cell service was spotty enough that they’d turned off their phones when they’d parked in the gravel driveway, and Delaney shivered at the implications of spending the next twenty-four hours alone with Joshua, with no interruptions.

  For once, she was glad Megan had dragged her out shopping last night. She was especially glad she’d pulled her into the froofy lingerie shop behind Bob’s Bait and Tackle. Waiting in her overnight bag was a lacy, lilac-colored set guaranteed to make any man forget his own name, Megan had said.

  Delaney tightened her legs around his body, and he slid his hands downward to cup her bottom. Though they were in the middle of a lake, where anyone with a good pair of binoculars could clearly see them, all she wanted to do was strip off their bathing suits and feel his skin against hers.

  He pulled her closer, and she closed her eyes tightly, savoring every inch she could feel of his body.

  Finally, he pulled his lips from hers, and she could feel his racing pulse against her fingertips.

  “We should—probably get back in the boat before we get run over by a rogue water-skier.”

  She planted a soft kiss on his lips, desperate not to lose contact with him.
“I don’t see any boats.”

  He chuckled. “Then we should probably get back in the boat before I lose my head and strip you right here in the water.”

  “Oh.” She smiled against his lips. “I’m glad one of us is thinking straight.”

  “Mm.” He kissed her again. “Have you ever played Kiss the Mermaid in the water after dark?”

  “God, no.”

  He rocked her gently against him, and she gasped as her entire body responded.

  “Want to try it later?”

  “God, yes.”

  Chapter 26

  “Does Mama B know about this place?” Delaney looked around three hours later as the maître d’ of Luciano’s seated them at a private corner table. Even though she would have been perfectly happy to stay put at the cabin and cook mac and cheese for dinner, Joshua had insisted on taking her out—to prove I sometimes eat somewhere besides Bellinis.

  “Mama B sics the health inspectors on this place at least twice a year, yes.”

  Delaney laughed, picking up the leather-bound menu. “It smells just like Bellinis.”

  “Believe it or not, the chef is Mama B’s cousin Luciano. They grew up together.”

  “Seriously? Do they share any family recipes from the old country?”

  “No sharing.” Joshua shook his head. “I think they wrote some agreement on a napkin long ago that said they’d never open up within ten miles of each other, and he wasn’t allowed to make chicken and mostaccioli if she agreed not to make his lobster ravioli.”

  She flipped open the menu. “They have lobster ravioli here? Be still my Italian heart.”

  “Just promise me you won’t tell Mama B or Molly that we came here.”

  “What would happen if they found out?”

  Joshua grimaced. “Have you ever tasted Mama’s hot sauce?”

  “No.”

  “Well, you don’t want to. If she found out we’d been here, our next spaghetti dinner would light the table on fire.”

  Delaney laughed. “My lips are sealed.”

  After they ordered, Joshua pushed the basket of rolls toward her. “These are to die for, but Mama B claims it’s only because Luciano stole her secret recipe.”

  She plucked one from the basket. “Well, if they’re anything like Mama’s, I might ask if we can order a basket to go. I’ve already fallen so far off the wagon with the donuts today that I’m a lost cause.”