White Girl Problems

by Tara Brown

  I curtseyed. “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”

  She gave me a half-assed bow and looked at Aiden. “Have you spoken to Finley about school?”

  I hated her. I hated the way she said my name and the way she spoke about me, but not to me. It was like Sheila, but the queen was royal so it was cool that she treated me like a second-class citizen, ‘cause to her I actually was.

  Wait, school? I turned and looked at Aiden. He swallowed hard. “Can I speak to you…?”

  “Oh, just say it, for God’s sake.”

  He laughed at my fiery temper. “Someone is spicy.”

  I looked at his mom. “Yeah, well, I think you know how I feel about ambushes.”

  Mary pointed at me calmly. “She hates them.”

  Aiden shot her a look. She smiled and sat next to Jess.

  “I won’t be attending university with you. I have to be closer to home, in case of emergency. I’d just finished my second year at Saint Andrews when I met you. I took the year I met you off because I needed to be with you. But this year I won’t be returning.”

  I could feel the savagery building inside of me. I smiled at him, softly. “That's cool. I actually find the Scottish accent to be the most attractive, so I won’t have you there as a distraction from the football team. I hear Prince William played for them when he went there.”

  Aiden looked at his mother. “Excuse us.” He grabbed my arm and escorted me out of the library. He led me up the stairs, not speaking. When he got to a room that took my breath away, he closed the door and leaned his back against it.

  “She is a bitch. You have to let it wash off your back. She will always be the queen mother. Even if I am king, she will be my mother. She is threatened by you. She can see that I love you, but you have to let her evil ways slide. It’s you I love. It's you I plan for. She knows I will walk away from my obligation and family fortune for you. That message has been conveyed.” He gave me that look through his inky lashes. “I tried to talk about it at the cathedral. You said no and changed the subject. I can’t finish my degree there. It has nothing to do with you or me.”

  I watched as the playful look on his face vanished.

  “My father is sick. I didn't know. Geoffrey knew he would be taking over the crown the day we went skiing. Our skiing trip was not approved. I didn't know. If he hadn’t died, I might have killed him myself. Geoff was not allowed to heli-ski because he was the heir and father has cancer. It’s terminal. I have to go home and start the process for taking over the crown. The university is sending a tutor, a fulltime tutor, to the house. I will finish using distance ed.”

  I bit my lip, hating myself. “Why is it whenever you get bad news, I act like a dick?”

  He laughed, “Because deep down you really are actually a spoilt brat, regardless of the numerous changes you have made for me.” He walked to me. “If I could be in university with you, I would. If he manages to make a recovery or go into remission, I will be there in a heartbeat. I can think of no place better than by your side.”

  I looked down and sighed before saying the craziest thing I could think of. “Mary doesn't go for a year. I’ll come and live with you in Andorra, if you’ll have me. We can do university for two.”

  I could see the joy in his eyes, but he shook his head. “I can’t ask you to give up going to a proper college. You need a year of chaos and beer and, of course, turning down the polite advances from the young men you will meet.”

  I took his hands in mine. “You don't have to ask. Because it’s you I plan for too.”

  “You’ve changed so many things already.”

  I nodded. “I know. But it’s like what you said to me when I met you. Most people are afraid of change. We spend our lives watching everyone around us fail and it makes us scared. But if we indulge in those fears, we risk never becoming the person we were meant to be. Everyone is afraid. Conquering that fear is where personal growth comes from. Remember, you asked me if I could change or if I was afraid.” I lifted my hands and cupped his face the way he did mine. “I changed and I like myself now. The changes have been a good thing for me. Do you know where I was a year ago today?”

  He nodded. “Stealing my heart with a look.” I glanced at the faded line of the scar on my wrist. He turned my wrist and kissed it. “I thank God you fell into that rose bush every day.”

  “Me too.”

  He kissed it again. “I want you to live in Scotland. I want you to have this experience because when my life changes, I’m going to need us to change. I want you to be ready for that.”

  I lifted to my tiptoes and pressed my lips against his. I didn't know what was coming in the world, his world, but I knew no matter what happened, we would find a way to be with each other.

  “I’m sorry about your dad.”

  He kissed my cheek. “Me too. He’s smoked cigars his entire life. He’s still smoking them, in fact. He’s only fifty-eight. It’s devastating, but he’s made his bed.”

  He seemed cold about it. I didn’t know how to respond to that. I muttered, “Wow, fifty-eight. I thought he was like forty.”

  “Mary said you think he’s hot. It's the beard, isn’t it? The man can grow an amazing beard.”

  My cheeks were on fire. “No. What?” He laughed, but I growled. “She is worse than Hattie. She just doesn't keep secrets at all.”

  “No. Not a chance. She shares everything. Like the fact you were worried I was going to have an affair with Alex. She was so mad at me because you were so worried.”

  “She is a filthy liar. I might kill her later, for a completely unrelated reason.”

  He kissed me again. “You have my heart on your finger. How on earth am I ever going to fall in love with anyone but you?”

  I smiled against his mouth. “I am still going to throttle her.”

  He nodded. “I won’t try to defend her, but you have to be warned. She’s skinny, but that means nothing. She’s mean and she bites and pulls hair.”

  “Duh, it’s called a cat fight for a reason. We all do.”

  He walked over and turned the lock on the door. “I believe you owe me for the cathedral. I will take all tokens of gratitude in the form of physical acts of debauchery.”

  I slipped my dress from my shoulders and let it slip down my body to the floor. I was prepared for the moment, in every way. I had on French lingerie and the perfect high heels. I gave him a wicked look.

  His eyebrows lifted and he started to undo the buttons of his shirt.

  If Snooki got her happily ever after, so can any girl.

  #TrueStory

  Epilogue

  Dreams Really Do Come True

  End of August

  The rocks below me brought back a thousand memories. Glimpses of the way he looked at me, scared yet desperate. I gave Jess and soft smile. “I think he loved me the minute he met me, like in a movie.”

  She laughed. “He did. Trust me. I’ve heard the story already twice. Johan said he thought it was so crazy that Aiden saw you standing there in the home and he knew he couldn’t look away no matter how ungentlemanly it was. I think that means something in their family.”

  “It does. Jack, their uncle, used to say that about Millie.”

  He gave me a look like I was a baby or a puppy. “Aww. That’s kinda cute.”

  I nodded. “It’s something. Intense is usually the word I use. Is Johan intense?”

  She shook her head. “Only about football, which is soccer to us, and silly things like that. I don’t know how to read him. Maybe because he’s only just turned seventeen. He’s young.”

  I rolled my eyes. “He’s a year and a half younger than you, the same as me and Aiden. It’s not that big of a difference.” I squeezed her hand. “I’m so grateful you’re coming with me. School in Scotland seems like an insane idea, but with you there it’ll be so much less…”

  “Scary?”

  I nodded. The breeze at Peggy’s Cove was warm and the day was bright, not at all how I saw it the f
irst time. We lay back on the rocks and let it all soak in.

  Hattie walked over with our dad. He looked like a moron with his socks pulled up to his knees and Croc sandals. She pointed. “This is one of the landmarks we are famous for.”

  He nodded, looking serious and impatient. “It’s windy.”

  I smiled, but Hattie gave him a look. “And your wife is a bimbo, but we don’t say anything.” She turned and stalked off. His face turned red and he followed her. Jess and I started laughing.

  I nudged Jess. “Hattie is the shit.”

  “I wish she raised us.”

  Linna plopped down next to me and licked her ice cream cone. “I can’t believe how bananas this place is. It doesn’t even look like we’re in Canada. It’s sunny and warm and these rocks are badass. I love it here.”

  “I promised Hattie I would come out, but this is the only time I have. We have to get to Scotland and start setting up res.”

  Linna shook her head. “I can’t believe I agreed to go to Scotland for college. That’s bananas too.”

  “You’re gonna have fun.”

  She nodded. “I’m gonna hunt down Gerard Butler.”

  Jessica laughed. “He’s old. Why? Dude. He’s old enough to be your dad.”

  Linna shrugged. “I’m finding me some rich Scottish hottie. I love that accent.”

  I sighed. “We’ll be like the Three Musketeers.”

  “Yeah, the weirdest Three Musketeers ever.”

  I looked at Jess. “We cover all the bases. I’m too young to be as in love as I am and I’m shitty at school. You’re super smart, get awesome grades, yet you’re dating the hottest guy any of us has seen, but you refuse to have sex with him.”

  Linna interrupted me. “True story.”

  I continued. “And Linna is that fun party girl who drinks too much yet somehow has mad awesome grades but never actually dates dudes for real, just has sex with them.”

  Hattie interrupted our deep thought for the day. “Time to go. They’re meeting us at Jack and Millie’s.” We got up and walked back to the SUV.

  The drive over was quiet, perhaps because of our destination. But even Linna didn’t try to fill the empty space with meaningless words.

  My dad was awkwardly silent. He had wanted to come and meet Aiden’s family.

  When we arrived, I paused, looking around. “Where are we? Hattie, isn’t this close to your house?”

  “Yeah, the mouth of the Atlantic.” We parked next to a bridge on a sucky old road. Aiden, his mother, and his siblings were standing on the bridge already. I felt nervous the moment I saw her sharp blue eyes find me in the small group of people.

  Another pair of blue eyes sought me though. Aiden gave me his usual stare through his thick black lashes. The corners of his mouth were turned up slightly. He held out a hand. “Mother, this is Frank Roze. He is Jess and Finley’s father. This is Hattie, their grandmother for all intents and purposes.” He looked over at his mother. “This is my mother, Queen Estelle Dumont Windsor Rey. This is my sister, Mary Estelle Windsor Sorenson Rey, my brother Johan Agramunt Sorenson Windsor Rey, and our youngest brother Jack Agramunt Sorenson Windsor Rey.”

  Linna laughed. “Dude, I think Mary, Johan, and Jack might have been enough.”

  Mary laughed. “Don’t we all wish.”

  The queen gave us all a look. It was the same homeless-person face she always gave me. “It is lovely to meet you all.”

  My father did something that looked like a bow. “It is wonderful to meet you. Fin and Jess speak so highly of your family.”

  The queen didn’t speak. She raised her eyebrows and looked over us all. “I have a flight to catch, so we should get this over with.”

  Charming as ever.

  Hattie smiled at them all, but I could see her annoyance. “This is the spot where we placed their ashes.”

  The queen looked at Aiden. “You’re certain this was his wish?”

  Aiden nodded. “He wished to spend eternity sailing his beloved Atlantic with his beloved Millie, so they might return to the shores of England if they so desired.”

  I smiled. It was the most romantic thing I’d ever heard.

  Aiden laughed. “Jack was a romantic man. He couldn’t bear the thought of being trapped in a crypt with the rest of the family, and he knew Millie would never be welcomed in the crypt. He chose the girl who stole his heart over the family he rarely saw.”

  Mary leaned over the railing of the river. The bay in front of us was near Hattie’s house and behind us was Porter’s Lake. It was a perfect spot for Jack and Millie to have their ashes spread.

  In the corner of my eye, I caught a glimpse of Johan holding Jessica’s hand behind their backs and away from the prying eyes of his mother. She would probably have a fit if she knew they were seeing each other.

  She was already angry with Aiden and me, but Johan was her favorite. She would never allow another one of the unsuitable females from my family to take another of her sons.

  Aiden held out a basket of red and white rose petals. We all grabbed some and tossed them into the sea, speaking to our dear lost friends and family.

  “Miss you, Uncle Jack and Aunt Millie.”

  “Love you both!”

  “Come see us in England!”

  The queen nodded. “Good-bye Uncle Jack! You were always my favorite.” She tossed her petals and smiled. It looked real, like she truly had meant the things she said. She turned to the guards lining the road and nodded and then looked back at Aiden. “I have things to do before leaving Halifax for New York. Jack is coming with me. He has things to get in New York.”

  Aiden nodded. “I figured. The rest of us will be leaving tomorrow. The girls are headed for Scotland. They need to acclimate themselves to the time change.”

  “Excellent.” The queen smiled. “It was lovely meeting you.” She turned and waked to the guards. Jack gave us a wave but said nothing. I caught a glimpse of earbuds in his ears—typical fourteen-year-old.

  My father nodded his head toward Hattie’s road, which was quite close. “I’m going to head over to the house. Sheila won’t want to be alone much longer.”

  I scoffed. “I’m surprised she never tried to come and see the queen.”

  His eyes lit up momentarily. “She did.” He put a hand out to Aiden. “It’s nice to meet your family finally. Take care of my girl in Scotland.”

  Aiden gave him a subtle bow. “Always.”

  My dad smiled and walked off. Jess pointed. “I’m going home too.”

  Johan stretched. “Yes, I’m beat and could use a nap. It’s pretty far to the hotel. I think I’ll accompany you.”

  Mary’s eyebrows went up. “And I’ll chaperone.” She hugged me and walked behind them.

  I noticed Hattie still had her flower petals. She tossed them slowly from the bridge and smiled. Whatever she was thinking was between her and them. Once the petals were gone, she gave Aiden and me a look. “I’m headed to Lakeside if you want to come?”

  He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me along to the SUV my father had rented while he was in Nova Scotia. Sheila had refused to ride in his car.

  On the drive over, I snuggled with Aiden in the back. Hattie scowled. “I look like your driver. This is some shit. One of you is riding up front on the way back.”

  I laughed.

  Hattie ran her hands along the steering wheel. “This is some nice though. I do like it. Might have to look into it for my next car.”

  When we got to Lakeside, I ran inside, abandoning Aiden. I darted for the bridge brigade, terrified of any missing. Their faces lit up. Hanna and Sarah jumped up. Mandy spun Marbles so she could see me. She gave me a crooked smile. I hugged them all, taking in deep breaths of them.

  “You came back!”

  I nodded. “I promised I would.”

  Sarah looked up. “You brought him? You’re still together?”

  I looked back. “Oh, him? Yeah, he still follows me around. It’s creepy actually.”
>
  Aiden smiled wide. “I think we all know which of us is creepy.” He nodded his head toward me.

  I gasped. “So mean.”

  Marbles laughed. “Gives us some hugs so we can make everyone else in here jealous.”

  He gave them all the biggest hugs.

  We sat down and played a game, catching up on gossip and the things we’d missed. Many deaths, many new people, and even some new staff.

  The moment Aiden left the table to see someone else, their eyes all turned hungry. “Has he proposed?”

  My face bunched up. “Sweet friggin’ God, no. I’m eighteen. Seriously.”

  Sarah scoffed. “You would have already had a baby by now in our day.”

  “Well, thank the gods of all that is fair that I’m in my time where we’re allowed to vote and have kids when we’re thirty. I don’t even know if I want kids.”

  All eyes widened. Hanna crossed herself like I’d just confessed to a horrid crime or said something really unholy.

  “You are so dramatic.”

  Marbles muttered, “You know you love him and it’s so obvious how much he loves you. Don’t fight it. You’ll end up old and alone or married to the wrong person. Just be open. Or we will kill you.”

  “Dude!”

  She rolled her eyes. “It’s Marbles to you!”

  I laughed. She had grown fond of the pet name. She even did impersonations of that movie my dad liked.

  Hattie came in and folded her arms. “Time to go, kid. I’m scared of leaving Sheila at my house for too long.”

  The table of women all started spitting on the floor and muttering things. I cocked an eyebrow. “Stay crazy, ladies. I’ll come and see you at Christmas. It’s a short hop across the pond now.”

  Hattie nodded. “Shorter than Seattle.”

  I sighed. “Spokane.”

  “Whatever.”

  As we walked out, I looked back and waved. I would miss them. Hopefully they would still be there. I’d never realized how precious old people were ‘til then. They had all the wisdom and personality we wished we had, but their expiry date was so imminent it was scary. You only got so much time with them; you had to cherish it and spend it wisely.