No Biz Like Showbiz

by Julie Moffett

  I looked around. “What’s all the rush?”

  “Results show in two hours. Come on and I’ll introduce you to the IT team.”

  He led me past a group of three guys all wearing headsets. They huddled around a large camera on a dolly, discussing something about angles.

  We took a right down a corridor and into a back room. Tony stopped at a door and opened it for me.

  “After you.”

  I stepped into a large, cold room, blinking when I noticed an entire wall held three enormously large television monitors. The rest of the room was crowded with computer clusters. One corner held a couple of cubicles scattered with papers and a phone. I counted one interior office, which I presumed would be for the IT Director. Four people were visible, one of them a woman, but all were focused on their tasks and none of them noticed us.

  Tony made a beeline for one of the men, a tall young guy with white blond hair. He turned as Tony tapped him on the shoulder.

  “She’s here.” Tony motioned to me.

  I saw a flash of annoyance in the other guy’s eyes and recognized it at once. We had interrupted him in mid-thought. I hated that kind of interruption as well.

  He strode over to meet me, his ID badge clipped to the pocket on his shirt. Before I could read it, he held out a hand. “I’m Kyle Mansfield. This is my shop.”

  I nodded, understanding the need to define the territorial tech boundaries. This was social interaction I understood. I stood in his domain. How I acted from this moment on would determine what kind of welcome I’d get.

  “I’m Lexi Carmichael. I understand you’ve got an unwelcome repeat visitor.”

  Kyle nodded. “A cracker.”

  Tony looked at him, alarmed. “A cracker? What’s that? I thought we had a hacker.”

  I patted him on the shoulder. “It’s okay, Tony. A cracker is what you think of as a hacker. We’re talking tech lingo now. A cracker is just a hacker with malicious intent.”

  He looked relieved. “Oh, thank God. I did not want to have to explain a new problem to Cartwright. Well, as it’s painfully clear I’m out of my league here, I’m going to split. Have fun, kids.”

  Tony hightailed it out of the room and Kyle motioned to me. “Come on. I’ll show you our set-up.”

  He led me over to a computer cluster. “These are our servers.”

  “Are they dedicated to the show only?”

  “Yes.”

  “Are you running the voting system off these servers?”

  “We are.”

  He turned stiffly and said nothing more. I got the message loud and clear, as only one geek to another would. He was pissed. Probably because Cartwright or some other bonehead had told him they were bringing in an outsider because he couldn’t do his job right. That wasn’t fair in the slightest because not all tech heads are also experts in cybersecurity. It’s an entirely different field altogether. For example, I could be a fantastic doctor, but it didn’t mean I had the unique abilities of a skilled neurosurgeon.

  I decided to keep it straightforward, which is how I’d like it if our roles were reversed. “Look, Kyle, just so you know, I’m not on any warpath here. I’m not assigning blame. I have one goal, to help you catch this cracker. I’ve got no hidden agenda and I’d prefer to be seen as being on your team, not in charge of your team. Okay?”

  I could see the relief on his face. “Yeah, good. Okay. That’s good to know.”

  Now that the air was clear, we could get down to business. A twinge of pride swept through me that I’d handled the situation so well. If only non-tech interaction could go so well.

  I leaned forward. “What programming language and systems database are you using?”

  “We’re using PHP with a MySQL database.”

  That was a bit more troublesome. There are tens of thousands of common programming mistakes that novice programmers make using this combination, especially when implementing very large public systems. It meant the system was quite vulnerable to penetration if someone was determined and inclined. Not that any of it was Kyle’s fault. He might not even be responsible for those choices in the first place. Embedded mistakes could have been made long before he even arrived on the scene.

  I tried to be optimistic. “How long have you been working here?”

  “Eleven months.”

  “When did the trouble start?”

  Without another word, he led me to his office and sat down behind a desk. The room was no bigger than a large bathroom with no outside windows and floor-to-ceiling glass partitions between him and the control room. Although it was small, it was meticulously ordered with the books on a single bookshelf arranged by size and topic, a single chair for visitors, and an iron file cabinet angled in one corner. His desk was clean with a separate cup for pens, pencils, highlighters and markers. Every loose piece of paper sat safely inside an inbox, and four different stacks of different-colored sticky note pads sat nearby for emergency utilization. I appreciated the order as I parked my behind in the visitor’s chair.

  Kyle placed his hands on his desk. “The trouble started about eight weeks ago. The votes came in and were tallied. The results were a bit of a surprise, I guess, because everyone thought the guy who got booted was a fan favorite. But I didn’t really pay attention to that part of it. I don’t typically watch television. It’s not my thing.”

  “At least we’re on the same page with that.”

  He gave me a little smile. “Didn’t even raise any suspicions until the same thing happened the next week. The new fan favorite was voted off. Fans were not happy and Lucy was pissed. Right on screen for everyone to see.”

  “Lucy?”

  “Lucy Shoemaker. She’s the catch.”

  “The catch?”

  “The prize, the geek babe, the date the guys all want to get.”

  “Oh.” I wrinkled my nose. “What’s the deal with that again? I’m a little fuzzy on how this whole show works.”

  “The show started with fifteen guys. They all tried to get the attention of the girl and get her to pass them on to the next level. They go on dates, have talks, get social skills lessons from some so-called experts, and do stupid stuff like that. Then the fans vote on which guy they think Lucy should hook up with. The guy with the lowest amounts of votes each week is dropped from the show.”

  “Lucy has no say in this.”

  “None, whatsoever. She’s reportedly a geek herself, so the audience is supposed to guide her. But she can try to influence the vote.”

  “So, let me get this straight. Lucy comes on a television show to date some guys, but she has no say in who she goes out with or who sticks around.”

  “Finding true love the intelligent way.”

  “How intelligent is it if someone is voting for them because, apparently, they are too stupid to make the decision for themselves?”

  “Don’t mess with a winning formula, as Cartwright would say.”

  I shook my head. “So, the fans, who don’t even know Lucy, decide who she should date by doing all the voting.”

  “Correct.”

  “Essentially they are saying that Lucy and all the guys on the show are too dumb to make their own dating choices.”

  “That about sums it up.”

  “Un-freaking-believable. Then what?”

  Kyle shrugged. “Well, when it gets down to the last guy, Lucy can propose to him.”

  I jumped out of my chair. “Propose? Are you kidding?”

  “No kidding whatsoever. It’s all done for drama, of course. The two poor, clueless geek souls have found their soul mate, as decided by the far more intelligent audience-at-large. But the system doesn’t work so well if it’s clear the guys who are fan favorites are getting systematically booted off the show.”

  I frowned.
“How do you know who is a fan favorite other than the voting?”

  Kyle rubbed his forehead. “Mail. Snail mail, chat boards, the show blog, as well as electronic mail. Fans want their favorites to know they’re cheering for them.”

  “That system could be corrupted, too.”

  “Yes, it’s possible, but I didn’t see any evidence of it and Noah, who is in charge of tech aspects of the show’s social media, hasn’t been able to find any irregularities either. I’ll introduce you to him and the whole team in a few minutes. The overall problem is we’ve started getting crucified in the press and our ratings are dropping. If people think their votes don’t count, they won’t watch.”

  I considered for a moment. “If I’m completely honest with you, I’m at a loss for something to say about a show that is so inane.”

  He shrugged. “There’s nothing intelligent you can say about it. That’s what I tell myself, at least. For me, it’s just a job. End of story. What’s important is that this cracker has to be stopped.”

  “So the insanity can continue.”

  “Exactly.”

  I let out a deep breath and sank back into my chair. “Okay. Fair enough. Let’s get back to the nitty-gritty. When the fan favorite got booted a second week in a row, I take it you sat up and took notice.”

  Kyle’s cheeks reddened. “Not just me, everyone. Technically, I should have been onto it after the first time, but I wasn’t following the results shows like I should have been. Honestly, I didn’t give a flying leap which guy was favored. Didn’t see how it mattered to my job performance. My mistake. Everyone, myself included, thought it an anomaly when Kevin got booted. He was clearly Lucy’s favorite of the entire show. I thought it was no big deal. So what? The fans had diverged. But after the second irregularity in a row, the voting system became suspect, and by extension, me.”

  “You?”

  “I’m in charge of the voting system, after all.”

  “Had the system been compromised?”

  He leaned forward. “Yeah, it had.”

  “How did you determine it for sure?”

  “Pretty simple, actually. The webserver statistics reported that the voting-acknowledgement page was loaded fifty million times during the voting period, but the vote database had fifty-two million votes.”

  I stared at him in shock. “Whoa. Back up, dude. Fifty million votes? Did you say million?”

  “I did.”

  “For a dumb show about geeks getting some? Really?”

  “You’d be surprised. It’s a popular show.”

  “Actually I’ve moved beyond surprised. I’m significantly concerned about the future well-being of this country. Perhaps the entire human race.”

  He snorted. “Look, just between you and me, I’m in total agreement with you about this show. It’s the dumbest concept on Earth. That being said, we have to stop this guy or my team and I are out on the street looking for new jobs.”

  I appreciated his concern for his staff. “Okay, so we have two million votes unaccounted for. Can’t you just eliminate them?”

  “Don’t know to which person the votes were cast. We could knock off the last two million votes, but I don’t have any way of determining which of those two million were legitimate and which ones weren’t.”

  “Seriously? Legitimacy is important in this farce?”

  “Apparently to a certain extent.”

  “Is it a standard one vote from one IP address type of deal?”

  “Yes.”

  I exhaled, tapping my finger on my chin. “The votes are already in for tonight?”

  “Yes, and our cracker buddy added another two million votes, skewing the results again.”

  “Crap. Well, we can’t worry about that now. Let’s go back to the beginning. What do you know about the hacker so far?”

  “Not a lot. He’s a nutcase obsessed with the show obviously.”

  “Tony said he sent an email with a manifesto.”

  “Yeah. To me and Lucy.”

  “You?”

  He nodded. “So far, we’re the only two he’s targeted.”

  I considered. “Well, it is interesting he’s targeting the head of the IT team.”

  “Not really. We’re the real geeks here after all.”

  I looked at him thoughtfully. “You think he’s mocking you?”

  Kyle’s pale cheeks flushed. “Actually, I do.”

  “Why?”

  “Most likely because I’m going along with this farce.”

  “Alright, tell me what happened after you found the email in your inbox.”

  Kyle rubbed his temples. “Actually Lucy saw hers first and took it to Cartwright. He went through the ceiling. That’s when I found mine.”

  “Was the content of your email different than Lucy’s?”

  “No. It’s the same rambling manifesto about how he is some techno-god and that the show offends him. He issues the ultimatum of either take it off the air or he’ll do it for us.”

  I considered it problematic that I was actually starting to like this cracker. “You trace the email?”

  “I tried. The trail went nowhere. Sorry.”

  “It’s okay. I’ll take a look on my own. Do you have a copy of his manifesto?”

  He picked up a folder on his desk and pulled out a single sheet of paper. He passed it over to me.

  “Here it is. Brace yourself.”

  Chapter Four

  I looked at Kyle and then down at the sheet of paper.

  The Manifesto

  Who am I? You think I’m a criminal, but I’m not. I’m a techno-god, a wizard, and an explorer of a whole new digital world. I can find you wherever you may be because I’ve created the very things that you now cannot live without. I walk past you on the street and you don’t know me. You sit next to me on the bus, and you don’t see me. Yet, now I rule your world. Ever wonder what makes someone like me tick? Follow me down the rabbit hole—choose the red pill.

  Who am I? I’m a cracker. Code, numbers, and electrons flow through my veins like heroin to a junkie.

  Who am I? I’m the kid who was always smarter than you, the kid you denigrated or ignored, the kid on the outside looking in. Now I’m the one on the inside and I know more about you than the person you sleep next to at night. I know your credit card number, the details of your latest performance review, and your deepest desires. Your most private information is mine for the taking whenever and however I want.

  Who am I? I’m the one giving you a warning about shutting down the television travesty, Geeks Get Some. End this show or I will take it down for you. I’m already running the show, but it needs to be finished. I will no longer take your denigration of my kind because I am no longer powerless. I am still smarter than you and now the power is in my hands.

  This is my manifesto.

  I looked up from the paper. Kyle watched me.

  “So, what do you think?” he asked.

  I handed him the paper. “Truthfully, I think he made some good points. He says he’s running the show, which is interesting. He also references The Matrix, calls himself a cracker, and has a hell of an axe to grind. You a cracker, Kyle?”

  He blinked in surprise. “Huh?”

  “You ever do any cracking?”

  He shook his head vigorously. “No. Never. Well, okay. I may have done some hacks that bordered on cracks in my younger years. But I’m not doing this. I swear. You don’t think this is me, do you?”

  I shrugged. “Honestly, I don’t. But you know I’m going to have to check you out. Lots of avenues coming back to you.”

  He swallowed hard, looking shaken. “I know and it’s okay. I’ve got nothing to hide.”

  “Believe me, you’re the first person I want to
clear. I need to know we’re on the same side.”

  “We are.”

  “Then it should be quick.”

  Kyle seemed steadier as he slid the paper back into the folder. “Agreed. So, what’s your plan?”

  I stood. “I need a secure terminal and all the passwords. Set me up an internal account, please. Email me a copy of the manifesto. I’ll dissect your account first to see if I can trace the email. I’m sorry about the privacy intrusion, but once you’re cleared, you’ll be a valuable help to me. I’m going to have to clear your team one by one, as well. Then we can get down to the business of hunting this guy.”

  “I understand and it’s okay. I appreciate you being straight with me. You’re just different than what I expected.”

  I looked at him in surprise. “What did you expect?”

  “Some asshole who’d tell me I’m an idiot for not being able to catch this guy and then shove it down my throat.”

  “Luckily, that is so not me. Look, crackers are good at what they do. I haven’t seen your security setup yet, but I sincerely doubt it could be all your fault.”

  “Thanks, I appreciate that.”

  “No problem. I’d also like to meet the rest of your IT staff. Then I’m going to talk to Lucy.”

  “Sure, follow me.”

  Kyle walked me over to where a young woman with shoulder-length brown hair sat facing a double monitor, typing some commands. “Hey, Melinda, I want you to meet Lexi Carmichael. She’s coming on board for a while to help us catch the cracker.”

  Melinda turned around in the swivel chair. Her hair swung loose and half covered her face. “Hi, Lexi, nice to meet you.”

  She held out a hand and I shook it. Her fingers were cold and clammy.

  Kyle spread out his hands. “Melinda is our network expert. Keeping everyone connected.”

  I nodded. “A most important job.”

  She smiled shyly. She shifted in the chair and when the curtain of hair finally parted a bit, I saw she had a bad case of acne.

  “Melinda went to UCLA.”

  “Good school.”