No Biz Like Showbiz

by Julie Moffett

  “Ha ha. Very funny.”

  “Exhaustion is not funny. You need to keep sharp. I mean that. A little rest can go a long way.”

  He was right, so we adjusted our position so that we were sitting together on the bed, our backs padded with pillows up against the headboard. He kept his arm around me and I enjoyed his warmth.

  “You know, I’m not tired from trying to catch the hacker, believe me. It’s all this other social crap that’s wearing me out.”

  “Ah, yes. The indignity of suffering through meaningless conversation and fending off male advances.”

  I leaned my head on his shoulder, closed my eyes. “Fine. Go ahead and make fun of me.”

  He kissed my head. “That’s difficult to do when I adore you so.”

  “Hmm.”

  “You haven’t even had time to heal properly from Rome. Your body, your soul, they both need nourishing.” He began to stroke my hair. His hands were so gentle and soft, I almost purred.

  “That feels really nice.”

  “I’m glad.”

  He shifted behind me on the bed, cradling me between his legs and moving his hands down to my neck and shoulders to massage a knot in my right shoulder. As he worked the knot out, the tension of the night begin to slip away.

  “Slash, can I ask you something?”

  “Of course.”

  “Why is it that you’ve always been so...patient with me in terms of a physical relationship?”

  His hands stilled. “What do you mean?”

  “I mean you’ve been restrained for lack of a better word. There were opportunities you could have pushed to advance that part of the picture, for example now, but you never did. Well, sometimes, in the past, there were moments, but you mostly held back. I think. Why?”

  He took me by the shoulders and pulled my back against his chest, slipping his arms around me. He rested his chin against the top of my head.

  “Ah, cara. You have been a dilemma for me from the start. I’m not even sure how to say it. I suppose you could say I’ve tried very hard to honor your boundaries.”

  “I have boundaries?”

  He nodded. “Si. I’ve watched you for some time to see if you were ready, until I finally realized that when you were, you’d let me know. Pushing against those boundaries would only push you away.”

  “I’m mystified. I somehow exude a boundary?”

  “You do.”

  “Well, how do I adjust it?”

  He kissed my hair. “I cannot say. When you are ready, you just will. Then I will know.”

  There he was being all cryptic again, saying how I would just know when I’d be ready for sex, a relationship, or both. He offered no criteria, standard or variables. Just a feeling. Ugh.

  I tried to fight the heaviness of my eyelids, knowing I had to stay up to listen for the alarm. “By the way, you can stop eating humble pie now. You did a good job of making up.”

  “Ah, but I haven’t even used all the forks in my disposal.”

  I smiled. “Save them. You might need them again.”

  “Excellent point.”

  I shifted and curled into him. “I’m just going to stay here for a minute or two. Okay?”

  “Okay. Close your eyes, cara, and rest. I’ll listen for your alarm.”

  Chapter Thirty

  I wasn’t sure how much time had passed when Slash gently shook me. “Time to wake up. The alarm is sounding.”

  My eyes flew open and I scrambled off the bed. “I fell asleep? What time is it?”

  “Three-twenty.”

  “I was asleep for that long?”

  “Don’t worry. The alarm just tripped.”

  “Thanks.” I staggered to my computer. I sat at the desk and blinked a couple of times to bring the screen into focus before typing in some commands.

  Slash leaned over me. “Is it him?”

  “Yes. I knew it! He’s in. Let’s go.”

  “I’ll drive. It’ll be faster.”

  I didn’t waste time arguing. We arrived at the studio in about five minutes and the night guard let us through. I parked away from the studio and we headed over on foot. Slash took my hand and held it. It felt right. I was actually glad he came with me.

  There was no guard at the front door, but Tony had given me the code. I punched it in, and Slash went in first, holding his finger to his lips.

  The hallway was dark and deserted, except for emergency lighting along the floor. We crept down the hallway. I keyed in the code on the IT door and Slash pulled it open quietly. The room was dark, but a light from a screen glowed in one corner of the room. A dark figure with its back to us hunched over the keyboard.

  Slash let the door close with a bang just as he snapped on the lights. Noah whirled around and jumped up from his chair.

  “Good God in heaven, girl boss. You scared the hell out of me. What are doing here?”

  I frowned. “I could ask the same of you, Noah.”

  Slash leaned back against the door, crossing arms loosely across his chest. He looked mean and lean, even with a walking cast on one foot. I was glad he’d come with me after all.

  Noah’s eyes darted nervously between the two of us. “I, uh, couldn’t wait to see who was the cracker.”

  “Really? So you decided to come back in the middle of the night to find him? In the dark?”

  “Why not? I couldn’t sleep.”

  I walked past him, examined his monitor. “So, your investigation involves wiping the webserver logs?”

  “I wasn’t wiping them. I was examining them.”

  “That’s not what I see.”

  “Oops. My bad. I just got really excited when you said we could trace the hacker this way. I couldn’t wait until tomorrow to find out who it was. I admit I got a little overenthusiastic. I should have called you. I apologize.”

  “Noah, you were wiping the logs.”

  He started breathing faster. “No, no. It’s a mix-up.”

  “No it isn’t.” I pulled out a chair and sat backward on it, facing him. “Okay, let’s talk. Why did you do it, Noah?”

  “Do what?”

  “Manipulate the votes. Threaten Cartwright. Write the manifestos.”

  He started to look panicked. “I didn’t. You’ve got this all wrong. I swear. It’s probably one of the contestants.”

  “The contestants were effectively ruled out this evening with a surprise power and wireless failure at the mansion.”

  “What? That’s impossible.”

  “Not really. Not if you have the right people on your team, at least.”

  His eyes widened and nostrils flared. “Then it must be someone else.”

  I crossed my arms against my chest, decided how best to approach this. “So, Noah, if I were to review the webservers, none of it would trace back to you?”

  “I...I...”

  I waved a hand. “Come on, let’s just skip this part and cut to the chase. I trapped you. I already knew our so-called hacker was an insider. I even suspected it was someone among the IT staff. I’ve been pretty sure it was you for some time and for a number of reasons, which is why I let you manipulate those votes tonight. I also knew you’d return to wipe the logs clean. In your defense, it really was the smart thing to do. So, let’s take a look at the big picture. I set a trap, you took the bait, and here we are. Why, Noah? That’s what matters to me now.”

  “You’ve got this all wrong. It’s not me. You’re just fishing.”

  “Wrong. I’ve got the proof in the ancillary evidence that I’ve safely stored away. These are dummy logs you are fiddling in, Noah. I would never have left them unprotected. The trail leads to you and we both know it. So, let’s not waste time on denial. I want to know why you did it.�
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  “I...I...”

  “The truth. You owe it to me.”

  His lips began to tremble. “Look, I didn’t plan on hurting anyone, Lexi. Really. I just wanted the studio to know that the portrayal of people like me on Geeks Get Some was really mean and insulting. I thought fooling around with the votes would be enough to scare them.”

  “It was a power trip.”

  “No, I was making a statement. A political statement. I was standing up to them for people like you and me. You understand that, right?”

  “No, I don’t. A manifesto and some threatening notes with veiled threats couched in Hollywood movie references? That does not equal a political statement.”

  “Yes it does. I was trying to talk to them in their own words. Don’t you get it? Hollywood movies seemed the best way to catch their attention, to mock them the way they were mocking me.”

  “For God’s sake, can’t you see how seriously immature that is? You could have cost everyone their jobs, Noah, including your own. We’re talking livelihoods here. Cartwright was ready to fire the entire IT staff and most of his personal staff as well.”

  “I didn’t really think he’d do it, and so what if he did? I’m smart. I’m not worried about finding a new job.”

  “That makes you not only arrogant and immature, but really stupid as well. I wouldn’t be so certain about finding a new job. I assure you, getting fired right out of the gate isn’t something so easy to overcome in a career.”

  “I guess I didn’t consider that. I...I’m sorry.”

  “That’s not enough.” I scooted my chair closer, leaned into him. “This is how I see it. You got sucked into the power of the crack. Thought it was cool to be a bully, to lord that power over everyone else.”

  “No, it wasn’t like that. I just wanted them to stop.”

  “So, instead of using your brain, you became a guy who used intimidation to get his way. Sounds like a bully to me.”

  Noah shook his head vigorously. “No. That’s not what I intended. It’s not. It’s just you can’t fathom the intimidation, the ridicule, the jokes and cruelty I’ve gotten.”

  “Oh, really? What makes you think you’re so special, Noah? Do you truly think I haven’t experienced that same kind of bullying? Except you forgot to add blatant sexism, jokes about my clothes, taunts for ruining the grading curve, never getting asked to dances or out on dates, and never ever getting invited to parties, not that I would have gone even if I had been invited. Still, I assure you, girls can be far more cruel and catty when it comes to bullying other girls. You men get off easy, trust me.”

  His eyes began to water. “You got bullied?”

  “I can’t believe you just asked me that.”

  “I guess...I didn’t think.”

  “No, you haven’t thought at all, which is why we’re sitting here right now.”

  Tears spilled down his cheeks. “I added to that, didn’t I? I bullied you about being a female tech head. I...I posted the video of you in the shower online.”

  I heard Slash growl low in his throat and wondered what I’d do if he strode past me and beat the crap out of Noah. Maybe I’d let him.

  But just thinking of the video made me sick to my stomach again. “Yes, you did, Noah. That video...it hurt me a lot. It’s the worst I’ve ever been bullied in my life. The boy who got bullied turned into a master at the very thing he despised. But I didn’t let it knock me down, no matter how much it hurt. You know why, Noah? Because the power of a bully—any bully—is just an illusion. You alone hold the power of your identity. Get comfortable in your skin or you aren’t going anywhere but down.”

  He started to sob. “Oh, my God. I totally screwed up. I wasn’t going to hurt anyone.”

  “Yes you were. You’re a cracker. It’s illegal, it’s wrong, and you did it with a specific threat of economic ruin and misfortune. You violated me. What’s worse is that you knew better. You have wicked skill. You’re way smarter than that, and yet you dumbed yourself down in a stupid attempt to hurt others. You lashed out at others and end up hurting only yourselves and others who have endured the same bullying as you.”

  He took off his glasses, tears smearing the lenses. “I can’t tell you how sorry I am, Lexi. I can’t believe how much I messed up. Please, I’m so, so sorry.”

  “Sorry isn’t going to cut it, Noah. You do realize your actions will likely add up to ten to fifteen years in prison. White collar crime is still a serious crime and punishable by significant jail time.”

  He paled drastically. “Jail? I can’t go to jail. Oh, God, no.” He cried in earnest now, fat tears streaming down his cheeks.

  “Cracking equals jail. You did this to yourself.”

  He moaned. “No, no, no. I never meant it to go this far.”

  “Even worse, you took the crack directly to me. To my family. To my friends. You called me out, Noah. You made it personal, so now you suffer the consequences.”

  He covered his face and sobbed so hard, water leaked between his fingers. “I just wanted you to stop. I was scared you’d catch me and you did. I thought if you were busy with the contestants, you wouldn’t have time to look for me. I wouldn’t have done anything to the studio. It was all just fake bravado. I swear.”

  “You threatened them. You threatened me.”

  “No.” He wailed. “I would never have hurt you or them. I swear. I just wanted to make the studio pay for the way they were portraying geeks. It was a game, that’s all. I was going to scare them into shutting down the show.”

  “Cracking is never a game, which is why it carries harsh legal penalties.”

  “I...I didn’t consider that. Oh, God.”

  The room was silent except for his rasping sobs. After a minute, I snapped my fingers.

  “Stop crying, Noah. Turn it off and listen to me.”

  He kept weeping into his hands, his whole body quivering. He gulped a few mouthfuls of air, looked at me and then started bawling again.

  “Noah.” I raised my voice. “Jeez, Noah. Look at me.”

  He lifted his tear-stained face. His skin was red and blotched, his eyes still leaking tears, and his expression miserable.

  “Listen to me. Okay?”

  He nodded, drew an unsteady breath, and wiped his nose with the back of his hand.

  “You will stop cracking. You will never ever crack again. You’re a smart, capable guy and you have an enormous amount of potential. Do me a favor and grow up already. You’re not that abused little boy any more. You’re a man fully capable of controlling his own destiny. Take a cue from the guys in the show. They may not have it all together, but at least they’re trying. Me too, actually. Take charge of your life, but don’t do it by hurting others, no matter how much they may deserve it. Do it by being smarter, and by being kinder. What you did was really, really dumb.”

  He nodded, fresh tears spilling down his cheeks. “I know. Oh, God, I know. I’m sorry. So sorry. And now I’m going to jail. What will my mother say?” His lower lip quivered and then he blubbered and started wailing into his hands again.

  I glanced over at Slash and saw the question in his eyes. He was wondering where I was going with this. I was wondering it myself. I took a deep breath and turned back to Noah.

  I said quietly, “You’re not going to jail, Noah.”

  He lifted his tear-streaked face from his hands. “What? I’m not? But you know what I did. You have the evidence.”

  “Yes, I do, and I fully intend to keep it as insurance. Insurance against you ever doing anything like this again. What I am asking for is your word that you’ll stop cracking and leave SWM, the show and everyone connected with it alone.”

  “But...but what about Cartwright?”

  “I’ll tell Cartwright I found the hole. I shut you down and closed you out,
even if I was never able to catch you properly. I effectively plugged the hole. I’m going to give him my guarantee, and I don’t give my word lightly. But if you ever come back in any way, shape or form to harass Cartwright, the show, or anyone else at SWM, I’ll hunt you down. It won’t be pretty and there won’t be any second chances. I’ll catch you, fry you, and enjoy doing it. Do you understand me?”

  He stared at me, disbelief blooming across his face. “You’ll...you’ll just let me go?”

  “You’ll have to keep your job here, at least for a while, to avoid suspicion. But my advice to you is to get out of Hollywood and do it soon. If you’re looking for respect and sincerity, you’re not going to find it in Hollywood. Find your niche and passion, but for God’s sake, keep it legal.”

  Noah’s eyes shimmered with tears and shock. “You’d...you’d do that for me?”

  “Only if I have your word. Swear it. Hacker to hacker. Geek to geek. When I leave here, you’ll still have access to the system, so I’m taking a big professional and personal risk doing this. Don’t make me sorry.”

  “Oh, my God. I won’t. I won’t, Lexi. I swear it.”

  “You will leave cracking behind you. Forever. From this moment on.”

  “Yes. Forever.” Noah kept his eyes on me as he held out a trembling hand. I took it and we shook. “I swear to you, Lexi Carmichael. Geek to geek. I swear I’ll never crack again.”

  He dropped my hand and started a fresh burst of crying. “I can’t believe it. No one has ever done anything this nice for me. Ever.” He started blubbering. “I’m going to pay it forward. I really will.”

  “I know and I sincerely believe that or I wouldn’t be doing this. Now get out of here. Go home, get some sleep, and show up here in the morning, acting as if nothing happened tonight. I’m going to fix the real logs. You’d better do a good job of acting or else you’re toast.”

  “I will. I really will.” He scrambled to his feet. “Thank you, Lexi. Oh, my God, thank you so much.”

  He ran to the door, but Slash still blocked it. He was frowning and had pushed his leather jacket aside so his gun clearly showed. His arms were crossed against his chest and he looked mad and dangerous. Noah noticed the gun and started shaking.