Double Fault

by Sheila Claydon

  Very slowly Lauren wriggled her fingers out of Kerry’s hand and transferred them to Pierce. He smiled at her as he led her across to the mats and lifted her onto them. Then, with a casual hitch of his hips, he joined her, and before long both children were squealing with delight as he bounced and jumped with them. When he was sure Lauren was confident enough for him to leave her, he retreated to the edge of the mats with a grin.

  “They should sleep well after this.”

  His tone, as he glanced at Kerry, was polite but cool, and she recognized it. It was the voice he used with people who didn’t hold his interest but who warranted common courtesy. It cut her to the quick although she knew better than to expect anything else. After all she had blown his cover as far as Marissa was concerned, spoiling any hope he might have cherished of keeping them both happy. No! A distant politeness was all she could expect now and she would have to be satisfied with that while she searched for a way to get on with her own life.

  * * *

  She was rapidly proved right. From the moment they argued over Marissa, Pierce ceased to be interested in her. He rarely sought her out, only spoke when he needed to, and never tried to pursue the intimacy of their first night together. At the same time, however, he remained courteous and thoughtful, bringing her an early morning mug of coffee with all the impersonality of a waiter, and making sure he took the children off her hands at least once during the day. Now that their relationship was devoid of any sort of emotional conflict their life together quickly settled into a routine.

  Not that Kerry had much time to brood because by the end of the following week she and Mel were too busy planning the future of Melanie’s Kitchen for her to give much thought to anything else. They dreamt up and discarded a number of unlikely plans before submitting their final suggestions to Pierce for his approval. He was cautiously enthusiastic.

  “Don’t try to do too much at first,” he warned. “I like your ideas but I think you need to curb your enthusiasm. Start small and expand. Continual development is always better than having to cut back. How about offering a limited lunch menu alongside the usual coffee, juice and donuts, and then moving into breakfasts for the early morning regulars once your reputation starts growing. Light suppers could come later.”

  Mel shook her head decisively. “Not good enough when part of the deal is to promote Greenleas. If the main restaurant and the conference centre are going to provide the sort of high quality meals you say they are, then we need to as well, although faster and at a fraction of the price. Melanie’s Kitchen is for people who are in a rush…you know, the executive visiting the conference centre who likes to swim before breakfast, or go to the gym, instead of spending forty minutes eating a cooked breakfast in the restaurant. And then there are the young mums who will come in after dropping their kids off at school. Lots of them won’t have had time for breakfast or, if they have, it will have been a rushed affair. They’ll appreciate a leisurely coffee or maybe juice and toast. They might like to meet friends for a light lunch as well… as long as we can keep our prices down.”

  He eyed her thoughtfully. “You’re right of course, but can you manage it?”

  “Yes…with the right support.”

  “Which is?”

  “Our own kitchen and a small office where we can plan our menus and cope with all the paperwork.”

  “No extra investment or special favors?”

  “None. We’re an independent company and all we ask is the chance to reorganize things, and manage your outdated bistro our way.”

  She didn’t tell him Kerry had already put her house in the hands of an agent and that the money she would raise was what was going to hold them together for the first few months. She didn’t understand Kerry’s need for secrecy but she wasn’t going to give her away.

  She had given up trying to reconcile this new unsmiling Kerry with the laughing girl she had known before Pierce came onto the scene. It wasn’t her business unless her friend decided to share it with her, but Melanie’s Kitchen was, so if Kerry was prepared to sink her money into the company then she wasn’t going to complain.

  Kerry gave an apologetic smile when Mel glanced at her. She knew the secret about her money was safe but she wished she could tell her friend the truth. It would be a relief to talk to her about everything but she wasn’t going to do it because it wouldn’t be fair to any of them. If she and Mel and Pierce were all going to be working together then the least she could do was to keep emotion out of it and make sure everything stayed on a professional footing. Besides, she wasn’t sure she could explain the situation to Mel any more, not when she was still puzzling over it herself.

  She was still no clearer as to why Pierce had insisted on marrying her when it would have been so easy for him to say she was an unfit parent and fight for custody. She guessed she would have to believe him when he said it was for the children because he was proving to be a very good father. He mixed fun with discipline and affection while maintaining a healthy disregard for the small bumps and falls sustained when they were playing. Already they were responding to him more and more. They were less inclined to whine and cry when they fell over too. And most of all they no longer worried if Kerry wasn’t with them.

  She watched him as he bent over Mel’s meticulously detailed lists and wished things could have been different. For the briefest moment she even wished she hadn’t walked in on him and Marissa. If she hadn’t known about their relationship then perhaps things would have worked out, but knowing had unbalanced the equation, so now it was impossible for her to behave in any other way. With the memory of Marissa between them everything they did was shadowed by separateness, even the time they shared with the children.

  As if he sensed her thoughts, Pierce suddenly raised his head and looked straight at her. His eyes were very blue as they reflected the winter sunlight streaming in through the window. “What’s your view of all this Kerry?” It was the first time he’d spoken to her directly that day.

  She gave him a frosty smile. “I agree with Mel. It’s an all or nothing situation. Any attempt to mix catering standards will affect your reputation. You need everyone who visits Greenleas to rave about it when they meet their friends.”

  His answering smile was edged with a scornful amusement that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “And that’s from an expert on how all or nothing situations affect my reputation as I remember it.”

  Kerry paled slightly as he referred to the words she had spat at him when she found out about Marissa, but she kept her head high as he turned back to Mel.

  “Okay. Go ahead and plan for excellence! The bistro is yours as from the beginning of next month. My only stipulation is that Ben and Lauren aren’t neglected so maybe you’d better talk my wife into employing a qualified nanny because until then she isn’t available.”

  Kerry bit her lip as she wondered why he was suddenly pushing for all out war. It wasn’t like him to involve other people, least of all Mel who he appeared to like and respect. She glanced at her friend apologetically.

  “Actually I have an idea of my own about that. I think we should open up a daycare and employ qualified nursery nurses to run it. If we do that then Ben and Lauren will meet other children and be able to play safely when we’re both busy. It will also make it easier for young mums with babies and very small children to use the sports facilities during the day. You could even offer them a special price for the times when the gym and pool are under-utilized.”

  Mel and Pierce both stared at her. She gave a short, bitter laugh. “Don’t look so flabbergasted. I do have the occasional idea of my own you know.”

  Mel shook her head admiringly. “I think it’s a terrific suggestion. And much better than employing a nanny who would be around all the time, even when you don’t need her.”

  Kerry nodded. “The children are already showing signs of missing their nursery school but it’s too far away from Greenleas to make taking them there practical. A journey across town can take anyt
hing up to half-an-hour, which makes it too long a morning for them, whereas a daycare, here, would keep them occupied without the additional strain of a long car journey.

  She looked at Pierce and surprised a faint hint of admiration in his eyes instead of the frown she was expecting. He smiled. “Sounds good to me. I’ve been trying to think of a way to attract more mid-week sportsmen and women and this sounds like the answer. How long do you need to plan it?”

  Kerry found herself smiling back at him. “Hardly any time at all if you’ll give me the space I need and the necessary funding. I’ve already talked to the owner of the nursery the twins used to attend and she’s keen to have a go. She’s been talking about expanding for ages so the thought of starting a daycare here had her practically drooling. Mary has signed up as a helper too.”

  Mel gave a peal of laughter. “Trust Mum! She’s never said a word to me about either. Do you always play your cards so close to your chest Kerry?”

  “Always,” Pierce answered for her, but this time he was laughing and he rested his hand briefly on Kerry’s shoulder as they walked Mel back to reception.

  * * *

  After that, things changed...not least Pierce’s attitude towards Kerry. He was still reserved but the coolness had gone and he spoke to her often, discussing his plans for Greenleas and even occasionally asking for her opinion, or, in the case of catering, her advice. It was the start of a new relationship between them where the traumas of the past were patched over with a new respect as well as a realization that they both had something to offer as they attempted to build a new life together.

  Kerry continued to sleep in the spare room and Pierce made no attempt to dissuade her, but when he delivered her early morning mug of coffee he now sometimes stayed to talk to her, telling her what he was doing that day or listening to her own plans with every sign of interest. It had an effect on the twins as well. Soon Ben became far more manageable and Lauren stopped whining when she couldn’t have her own way.

  As the weeks went by Kerry became more hopeful they had at last found a way to leave all their squabbles behind them. She was aware she still had one problem to overcome, however. Marissa!

  From newspaper articles she knew she was filming an American game show to be shown in the New Year. She also knew she would soon be back in England for a promotional guest appearance on a late night chat show and it was that that she was dreading. Once Marissa was back in the country things between Kerry and Pierce would change. His girlfriend’s return would inevitably stretch his newfound delight in his family to the utmost.

  She was lying awake early one morning thinking about this, and about the fact he hadn’t yet mentioned visiting his parents even though he’d now telephoned them with the news of his marriage, when she suddenly realized it was his birthday. She counted back to their wedding day; amazed so much time had flown by without her noticing. It was now November and today was Pierce’s thirty-fourth birthday.

  She lay still for a few moments longer and then, hearing the children chattering in the next room, pushed back her covers and tiptoed into their bedroom. Ben and Lauren looked at her in surprise because they had only been awake for a few minutes and they were used to being the first ones astir. She laughed at their solemn, wide-eyed expressions.

  “Come along you two. We’re going shopping.”

  “Breakfast?” Ben suggested hopefully, not entirely concurring with her suggestion.

  “You can have breakfast later. Right now we have to go and buy Pierce a birthday card.”

  They didn’t really understand but Kerry’s enthusiasm was enough to convince them something exciting was going to happen, so they popped out from beneath their matching duvets with wide smiles and let her dress them with more cooperation than usual. She kissed them both and then led them through to her bedroom.

  “Be very quiet now because Pierce is asleep,” she told them as she hastily pulled on a pair of jeans and a thick sweater.

  * * *

  It was almost eight o’clock when they arrived back at Greenleas having plundered the only shop open at that hour in the morning, the local newsagent. Ben and Lauren were each clutching birthday cards and small white paper bags, while Kerry’s purchase was wrapped in brown paper. She was also carrying a box of chocolate beans and several cake decorations.

  They crept in through the side door with exaggerated whisperings and tiptoed down the passageway to Pierce’s bedroom. The children were pink cheeked with excitement.

  “Pierce sleep?” Lauren demanded.

  Kerry pushed open the bedroom door the tiniest crack. “I don’t know darling. Why don’t you go and find out.”

  Lauren looked alarmed at this suggestion but Ben needed no further encouragement. He flung the door wide with great élan and dived into the room, landing on the bed without bothering to check if Pierce was awake. Lauren remained slightly more circumspect, clinging hold of Kerry’s hand and trying to pull her into the room after her.

  Gently Kerry disengaged her fingers and gave her daughter a little push, not wishing to intrude too much on something that belonged to Pierce. She was also uncomfortably aware that he was awake and sitting on the side of his bed clad, as far as she could tell, in nothing more than a towel.

  He looked up, startled, as Ben burst through the doorway and the eyes that met Kerry’s were like thunderclouds; a dark stormy grey without a trace of blue. She gave an involuntary shiver when she saw the outward manifestation of the anger that she knew must always be burning inside him, an anger that could only be directed at her. She sensed something else too, in the brief moment before the children’s excitement shattered the tension. It was a dark despair that stabbed at her like an emotional knife, destroying what little peace of mind she had managed to achieve over the past few weeks.

  Was this how he really felt about her? Was she responsible for this peculiar reduction in his personality? She closed her eyes against a truth she didn’t want to face. How he must hate her for having destroyed so much; the plans he had made with Marissa, the chance of a normal family life, and the loss of his children’s early years. She couldn’t bear it, couldn’t bear to be the cause of so much suffering. There must be another way they could live.

  * * *

  “Aren’t you going to join us?” Pierce’s voice broke through the barrier of her misery. It was full of all the old enticements; soft, slightly husky, questioning. She opened her eyes and found she was being scrutinized by three pairs of identical blue eyes, all of them smiling and waiting for her to say something.

  She stared at Pierce in bewilderment. With Ben and Lauren sitting one on either knee, he looked relaxed, the harsh grooves of unhappiness that had lined his cheeks erased by a wide smile that included her.

  “We can’t open my presents without you,” he put out a hand and waited for her to take it.

  Slowly she moved towards the bed. “Happy birthday,” she had to clear her throat before she could speak. “I’m afraid we left it a bit late so you’ll have to be content with what the newsagent had to offer.”

  He peered into the bag Ben thrust under his nose and grinned. “I have a passion for sugar mice, surely you know that.”

  “Me too! Me too!” Lauren bounced up and down on his knee impatiently while he looked in her bag. With a grin he extracted two jelly babies from the mass that had stuck together thanks to the heat of her small hands, and popped one into each of the children’s mouths.

  Kerry’s earlier depression dissolved into laughter when she saw the bemused expression on his face. “Ben and Lauren chose their own presents,” she explained.

  He shook his head admiringly, hugging the children to him while his eyes danced with amusement above their heads. “I’d never have guessed. How did they know exactly what I like?”

  “Ben like!” His son wriggled indignantly out of his father’s arms, his mouth still full of jelly baby, and peered longingly into the bag containing the sugar mouse.

  Pierce grinned as he lifted
it out of reach. “Not until after breakfast young man, and I’m having the head.”

  “Ben stuck out his lip mutinously. “Me head!”

  “Oh Ben, it’s Pierce’s present. He can eat it all if he wants to. Come on, show him his birthday card.” In an attempt to distract Ben she picked up the envelope that he’d dropped on the floor.

  It did the trick. Both children immediately tore the envelopes off their cards and held them up for inspection, pointing excitedly to where they’d each scrawled a smudged kiss in red crayon with Kerry’s help. Pierce took both cards and admired them obediently, commenting on the pictures and the children’s expertise with the crayon in equal proportion, but Kerry was aware of a change in his voice as he read the identical message on the front of each card.

  “Thank you.” His kisses were for the twins but Kerry knew the words were directed at her as he carefully displayed the cards on his bedside table so the words Happy Birthday Daddy were easy to read. She ignored the lump in her throat, telling herself he would shortly revert to the cool, distant individual she was used to. With an effort she held out her own present.

  “It was the best I could do in the circumstances. I forgot it was your birthday until I woke up this morning.”

  He took it without a word, letting the twins wriggle out of his grasp as he did so, so she was suddenly alone with his near nakedness and uncomfortably aware of the length of his bare legs as they stretched out beside her. She started to get up, using the twin’s breakfast as an excuse, but Pierce caught hold of her hand and pulled her back down.

  “You can’t go until I’ve opened my present can she children?” Ben and Lauren were now sitting on the floor at his feet peering hopefully into the envelopes they’d discarded. They grinned up at him as they shook their heads.

  “It isn’t much,” she said as he began to unwrap it. “If I’d remembered yesterday I’d have gone into town and found something better.”