To Love and Serve

by Caridad Piñeiro

  Michaela swept her gaze across the room and frowned. “This club. The Lair. It’s like a theme park for the undead. Why don’t you take your condition seriously?”

  Ryder negligently stretched out his legs. “I didn’t ask to be this way, Michaela. I’ve done what I can with it. This—” he motioned to their surroundings— “was one of the ways I tried to keep myself sane. Remind myself that I wasn’t like the rest of them.”

  “Ryder is one of the good guys, Michaela,” Jesus offered. “An ally who’s helped us often. Things are not always as black and white as you and your friends want to make them.”

  Beside Ryder, Diana started. He understood her disbelief. From what he knew of the man, he generally was a stickler for the laws and regulations he was sworn to uphold. “Generally” being the operative word. Ryder was not too keen on how Jesus had recently bent those rules to suit his needs. Although he was pleased Diana was working, he was major league unhappy Jesus was just using her unofficially, and hadn’t gotten her suspension lifted.

  The waitress returned at that awkward moment, sparing them all from commenting as she served their drinks. When she hurried away, Ryder lifted his glass and held it toward Jesus. “To friends.”

  Jesus raised his glass. The two women were a little slower, but finally relented. Once they held their glasses high, Jesus repeated the toast.

  “To friends.”

  …

  The sight made the Slayer sick to his stomach. The little bitch was sharing drinks with one of the vampire vermin. But then again, Michaela was half vermin herself. Blood always told. He’d arrived moments earlier, just in time to witness the disgusting spectacle. He didn’t know why the Council put up with her. Or why they took her into their midst as if she was one of them.

  As far as he was concerned, she deserved a stake through the heart just as much as every one of the undead bloodsuckers, their treaty be damned. He would have his justice, no matter what the Council decreed.

  Keeping his distance because Michaela was sure to register his presence, he scoped out the patrons in the bar. It was packed tonight, more so than when he’d done his first surveillance. Lots and lots of young humans, but also many newbie vampires.

  That was good. They could not yet tell he was different. Or if they did, they might think he was like them. In truth, no one really knew the source of slayer energy. The rituals and practices employed to become slayers were born in blood, so maybe they were more like their enemy than the Council cared to admit.

  Anger stirred within him at that thought. He was not like the vampires. He was not a monster.

  After making his way to the bar, he ordered a drink then shifted as far from Michaela’s table as he could. Which brought him close to a female vampire lounging against one of the dark walls, watching the crowd…likely hunting for that night’s dinner.

  He sauntered up and leaned against the wall beside her, and sipped his drink for a few minutes, not wanting to appear too eager. Then he bent close to be heard over the noise, and said, “It’s packed tonight.”

  She nodded, staring straight ahead.

  “Do you come here often?”

  She shook her head and finally glanced in his direction. She had pretty eyes, a greenish hazel like the winter wheat his family used to harvest. “You know, that’s probably one of the worst pickup lines ever.”

  He chuckled and flashed her a boyish grin that always worked. “I guess, but it made you look, didn’t it?”

  She grinned and shook her head ruefully, amusement playing about her full lips. “That it did. I’m Amanda.”

  “Amanda. That’s a beautiful name.”

  “Again, lame. You’re really not all that good at this, are you?” she said, but inched closer to him.

  Wrong. He was very good at this.

  She just didn’t realize it yet.

  …

  Diana sensed the abrupt tension in Ryder’s body at the same time Michaela set down her glass and swept her gaze across the club. “Something wrong?”

  He shook his head, but also scrutinized the patrons, then said to the slayer, “By the front door. In the black cap and jacket.” Michaela craned her neck to look over the crowd. “I see him.”

  A second later Ryder eased Diana off his lap. “I’ll be back, darlin’.”

  He and Michaela bolted for the door.

  Diana and Jesus both jumped up as their companions beelined it for the young man. She couldn’t see his face—his hat was pulled down low, and the collar of his leather duster obscured most of his features. His head whipped around for a moment, as if realizing he’d been made, then ran out the door, obviously aware Ryder and Michaela were hunting him.

  “What the fuck is going on, Jesus?” Even as she said it, they were rushing after their companions.

  At the door, a Goth woman hip-checked Michaela, blocking her way until Ryder snarled something and she backed off.

  By the time Diana and Jesus reached the door, a crush of people packed the exit, closing off their pursuit. Vampires, she realized from the anxious beat of their power against her senses. What could be whipping such fear into them?

  She laid a hand on Jesus’s chest to restrain him from elbowing the panicking patrons aside. “Let’s try the back door.”

  He nodded and they dashed in the opposite direction, weaving through the throng of club-goers. At the stage entrance, they burst out the door and caught sight of a blur of two bodies charging past the mouth of the alley.

  Michaela and Ryder moving at vamp speed.

  They rushed over, but were too late. There was no sign of either their companions or the man who had captured their attention.

  Diana’s heart punched a harsh rhythm from the burst of activity. She sucked in a deep breath, bent over, and held it, then drew in another, attempting to quiet the fierce heartbeat that pounded like a fist smashing against her ribs.

  Jesus laid a hand on her back. “Are you okay?”

  Not wanting to worry him, she nodded and gingerly rose, outwardly calm. Even with the slow motion, she experienced a wave of nausea that made her head whirl for a moment before the world righted itself.

  She inhaled, trying to restore balance to her insides, which were a total mess. Her heartbeat slowed to a more normal rhythm, but a cold knot formed deep in her center. With another deep breath, she could feel the knot relax but shooting its icy tendrils through her body.

  “They went that way.” She gestured up the street, but as she took a step in that direction, Michaela and Ryder hustled back around the corner. The disgust on their faces said it all. Jesus asked, “Mind telling us what that was all about?”

  Michaela shook her head. “You and I agreed. I stay out of your business and you stay out of mine.”

  “Slayer business?” Jesus pressed, lifting a brow.

  “Vampire Council business,” she clarified.

  Diana shot Ryder an icy glare. “So you’re on the Council now?”

  He held up his hand, looking pained. “I’m just helping out.”

  “Were you ever going to tell me?” Although after the way she’d acted toward him, maybe her question wasn’t fair.

  Ryder’s jaw clenched and a muscle ticked along the strong line. He remained stonily silent, his hands fisted at his side.

  “I think I need another drink,” Jesus finally said, breaking the tension.

  “I think it’s time we went home,” Diana said.

  Ryder nodded curtly. “I think it is.”

  Without waiting for her, he turned on his heel and walked toward the back of the alley where the Cadillac would be parked.

  Jesus glanced at his retreating back, then at her. “Will things be all right with him?”

  With a rueful shake of her head, Diana said, “Hell, I wish I knew.”

  Chapter Twenty

  The only sound Diana heard in the car on the ride uptown was the wind whipping by as Ryder sped toward home.

  He screeched to a jerky stop at the curb, but sho
wed a little more restraint as he held back from slamming the car door, and slowly walked around the front of the car to meet her on the sidewalk. The heat of his anger beat at her through the connection they shared, and the shimmer of vampire neon was slowly leaking into his gaze.

  In the elevator they went to separate corners, like two boxers waiting for the bell to start a round. The doors opened, and they walked into their apartment, going to opposite sides of the foyer. She wrapped her arms around her middle and faced him, tilting her chin up a notch in a show of bravado she didn’t feel.

  The earlier rush in the bar and the maelstrom of feelings she’d battled in the car had taxed her beyond her limits. She was barely holding herself together physically and emotionally, part of the reason she kept away from him. Any closer, and he would know what was happening in her body. The chill that had started earlier had swelled inside, and her heart thundered at a breakneck pace. It was so intense, pain radiated from her chest into her core and melded with the cold stretching through her body.

  When Ryder took a step closer, she flinched. He backed away, a stunned look on his face. “I scare you now?”

  “I’m not scared, Ryder. I could never be afraid of you.” Even with the anger and violence his demon was capable of, she’d never feared he would intentionally hurt her.

  “But you’re angry?”

  She would be hard-pressed to deny that she was furious. “Tell me what you’re doing for the Council.”

  He cursed beneath his breath, raked his fingers through his hair, and looked away. “I can’t.”

  “You can’t or you won’t?”

  He snapped his gaze to her. “You keep saying you’re not sure you can handle the vampire world. As long as that’s still the case, I can’t tell you.”

  His words hit as hard as if he’d struck her. “I’m sorry, Ryder. I never meant for all this distance and anger to happen between us.”

  “I never meant for it to happen, either, and yet here we are, fighting over this same shit again.”

  To be honest, she had little fight left in her. She was too weak physically and too whipped emotionally. “I love you, Ryder. I need you in my life. But I don’t know if I can handle all the rest of what comes with being undead.”

  She took a step toward him, but her knees suddenly went rubbery. Her heart did a weird stutter-step and then seemed to stop. She tried to take a breath, but couldn’t. It was as if a vise had clamped around her, allowing her only a shallow, inconsequential inhalation.

  The pain in her chest magnified, and the nausea returned a thousandfold. Circles of light and dark whirled in her vision.

  She was terrified she was dying.

  She reached out for Ryder, afraid of leaving him. He’d been alone for so long. Centuries. She didn’t want him to be alone again. Without her.

  No.

  She wasn’t ready to die. Hadn’t expected it to happen so soon. So suddenly.

  Please, God, no.

  …

  Ryder raced forward and scooped Diana into his arms before she did a face plant onto the floor. He felt the fractured energies in her life force, weaker than they’d ever been. Her heartbeat and breath were almost nonexistent, they were so faint.

  No. It was too soon. He raced with her down one floor to Melissa’s apartment. He rang the bell and pounded on the door.

  Inside, Mariel abruptly started crying. A tattoo of footsteps sounded, Melissa and Sebastian rushing to answer his call. Melissa threw open the door, fear filling her face. “What happened?”

  “We were arguing and she just collapsed.”

  “Take her to the back room.” Melissa belted her robe tightly and hurried away as Sebastian came down the hall, Mariel wailing in his arms.

  Ryder sensed the anger and fear churning inside Diana’s brother, but Sebastian contained it outwardly as he tried to calm his crying daughter.

  “It’s okay, Mariel,” he said, tenderly cradling the toddler. With a concerned glance at Ryder, he left the room with her. Ryder carried Diana to Melissa’s lab. His former keeper was already assembling the aphaeresis treatment. Her hands were shaking and she fumbled with a beaker, which dropped and shattered on the floor.

  She stared at the crystalline shards for a moment then turned her teary gaze to him.

  “I’m not sure there’s enough time, Ryder.”

  Hell, no. Not like this. It could not be happening like this. He gently laid Diana on the padded treatment table. Her eyes fluttered open and her head rolled to the side. Her gold-green gaze struggled to focus on his face.

  “Feeling…weird… Don’t want to leave you, Ryder.”

  He took her hand. It was icy cold, but her grip was strong. Surprisingly so.

  He bent toward her and brushed back a lock of hair that had fallen onto her forehead. “Tell me what you’re feeling while Melissa figures out what’s happening to you.”

  “Cold. Really cold.” No sooner had she said that than she began to shiver. She squeezed his hand and he bent down to kiss her forehead. It was frigid as ice, like the rest of her.

  Melissa came over with a heating blanket and they draped it over Diana’s body. For good measure, they covered that with a thin, silvery space blanket to trap the heat. Then Melissa went to work, checking Diana’s pulse and blood pressure. A grimace crossed her face. She prepped an IV needle and eased it into Diana’s arm for a transfusion.

  At his questioning look, Melissa explained. “Her blood pressure and hematocrit levels are too low to run the aphaeresis. I need to get her blood volume up. It’s almost as if she’s in shock.”

  Ryder nodded and concentrated on Diana, who had closed her eyes again, although the rise and fall of her chest was deeper and steadier. Beneath the blanket, where he held her hand, there was pleasant heat, which seemed to rouse her.

  “Feels good.” She opened her eyes and was able to hold her head upright. Her lips now barely trembled from the cold and her gaze seemed clearer. More focused.

  “You’re going to be fine.” He brushed his free hand across her hair.

  “I’m not, but that’s okay. As long as we’re together, we’ll handle this,” she said, her voice steadier than it had been before. Filled with the same resolve as earlier that night.

  He nodded, understanding. Even though she’d yet to say it, or maybe even really embrace it, she’d made her decision.

  She closed her eyes, a weak but peaceful smile on her face.

  He stood beside her, waiting. Hoping. Praying. God had been fickle in his lifetime, and yet despite his earlier words to Diego, he still believed.

  Nearly an hour passed. Sebastian had come in and taken up a spot on the other side of the bed, his hand on her arm. Melissa had twined her fingers with her husband’s as she stood beside him, offering support. She had taken a blood sample and changed out the plasma bag on the IV several times. After the last one, a hint of relief finally showed on Melissa’s face.

  “Her pulse and blood pressure are stronger.”

  Ryder nodded, and pressed a kiss to Diana’s forehead. Beneath his lips, her skin was warmer. The energy in her body was not as splintered as it had been before, but somehow different. A steady pulse of power came from her and he couldn’t place how it had changed, but he didn’t really care. She was alive.

  Diana seemed to wake with his caress and glanced around the room, offering a grateful smile to her brother and Melissa.

  “Thank you.” She touched their joined hands.

  “You gave us a scare,” Melissa said.

  “I’m feeling better now.” She met Ryder’s gaze full on, and squeezed his hand beneath the blanket. “Would you take me home?”

  “Are you sure?”

  Smiling, she nodded and said, “I’ve never been more sure.”

  …

  Ryder lowered Diana to her feet beside their bed. She wobbled, and grabbed his shoulders to steady herself. “Damn,” she muttered.

  “Maybe you should have stayed downstairs a little longer.�
�

  She shook her head. “There’s nothing more that Melissa can do.”

  In truth, whatever had overcome Diana had been different…and yet the same in so many ways. The flutter and chill she’d sensed earlier as she prepped for her date with Ryder. The nausea and other warning signs after the short chase into the alley. She’d known something was not right, and she should have been prepared for the worst when the frigid cold and erratic beat of her heart had taken hold. But she’d hoped it would pass, since it had never happened before in quite that way.

  No matter what these new symptoms meant, she’d finally accepted she would never be free of the vampire cells coursing through her blood.

  Never have a normal life with all the normal things she so desperately wanted.

  “Can I get you something?” he asked, bending to examine her face, fear etched on his features.

  She cradled his cheek. “I’m okay. I don’t know what hit me.”

  “You pushed too much. Jesus should have never asked you to help on that case.” Icy anger dripped from his voice and she stroked his cheek, wanting him to understand.

  “You were the one who told me I was born to serve. What am I, then, if I can’t do that?”

  A grim smile spread across his lips and he blew out an exasperated breath. “You’re the woman I love.”

  She smiled and tilted her head to kiss him. “And I love you. I’ve never had any doubt about that.”

  Ryder eased his fingers into her hair and cradled her skull. He held her close for a slow, tender kiss. As he eased away, he brushed a kiss across her forehead, and gently nudged her head to rest against his chest.

  “Well. I’m glad you’re sure about that, at least.”

  …

  Ryder’s heart beat steadily beneath Diana’s ear, in the slow, dirge-like cadence of the undead. Almost nonexistent, yet it somehow sustained life. And as they made love, that heartbeat became hers, too.

  She wanted to lie in his arms now, and savor the strength of his caring and love. When her time came, she wanted to take her last breath in his embrace. To this day, she remembered every second of the last moments of her father’s life as he passed away in her arms. The memories were both a burden and a blessing.