Accidental Thief: A LitRPG Accidental Traveler Adventure

by Jamie Davis

  A sturdy woman of about forty-five or fifty years in servant’s livery stepped out the back of the home and stood there looking at Hal and Kay with her hands on her hips.

  "What do the two of you need?"

  "Madame," Hal said, standing and delivering a sweeping bow from the back of the wagon before jumping to the ground. "I am Markham, the Launderer. My associate and I are part of a new laundry service in the city, and I thought we might be able to talk to the master of the house about how we can provide top quality linens and bed clothes at rock bottom prices."

  "We already do our own laundry. Why do we need to pay you to do it?"

  Hal wasn't fazed. He'd spent a few years as a customer sales rep in college. He knew how to sell. He turned on his best customer phone rep charm and directed it at the woman.

  "Tell me, my fine woman, are you the one doing the laundry now? I only ask because I can see the effects it has on your delicate hands."

  The woman seemed confused for a moment and then took her hands off her hips and looked at them.

  "What's wrong with my hands?"

  "Nothing is wrong with them, per se. They're just aging beyond the thirty years the rest of your youthful appearance belies." Hal poured on the charm, and his friendly slot machine started rolling again. He had her.

  "I'd like to show you how you can be freed up to attend to other duties and have top quality laundry to boot."

  "How much?" The woman asked.

  "Two silvers a week is what most households spend with us. However, if you have a major function or event planned, we can provide you additional linens for a small fee."

  The slot machine chimed. Mission accomplished. Hal knew that once he overcame that initial objection, he could close the sale.

  "I'd have to see your linens and show them to the master before I could possibly recommend something like this."

  "Of course," Hal said, climbing down from the wagon. "Let me lead you back inside to see the master while my assistant fetches a sample from the back of the wagon."

  The woman smiled and nodded, so he followed her inside. Kay jumped down and went to the back of the wagon to get the linens.

  Inside the home, Hal was led to a hallway and study door. A guard in the merchant's livery stood there, armed with a broad sword. Inside the room, there was a man at a writing desk pouring over papers. He was dressed impeccably, and Hal knew right away that he was their target.

  The maid rapped on the door, and the man looked up in annoyance. "What is it, Mary? I'm terribly busy."

  "This man has come by the house with a proposition for a laundry service that could provide us with linens and such for a reduced cost. His assistant is just behind us with a sample."

  "Oh, very well," the merchant said. He turned to look at Hal. "Let me see what you have to offer. I came up through textiles, so I have a good eye for quality linens."

  Hal smiled and motioned for Kay to come forward with the carefully folded linen sample he'd prepared. The merchant stood and came over to inspect them.

  "These are of decent enough quality, I suppose. What is the price for your service?"

  "I told your mistress of maids that most of our customers pay around two silver pieces a week. I would have to do a tour of the home and tally up exactly what the cost would be, but that is in the area of what I charge."

  "I'll go no higher than three silver pieces." The merchant turned to Mary. "Take them around and show them the bedrooms and dining areas so they can estimate what we'll need."

  He turned around and dismissed them with a wave of his hand, returning to his desk and the papers there.

  Hal and Kay were then led on a tour of the house. Mary, the head maid, began flirting with Hal while on the tour, hinting about how the two of them should test the quality of the bed clothes, linens and sheets he provided. Hal laughed it all off, ticking off the rooms upstairs as they looked into each one.

  They entered and inspected every room except one on the third floor with an armed guard outside it. Hal walked towards the door, but Mary pulled him back away from it.

  "Don't go in there, Mr. Markham. That's the quarters of a private guest of the lord's. You don't need to see that room."

  "Surely they need linens as well. I must measure the beds to ensure the proper fit and coverage."

  Mary looked around and then leaned in and whispered, "Mr. Markham, they're special hostages my master is keeping for a highly placed friend among the Emperor's factors in the city. A friend whose title begins with a 'W' if you will."

  Hal nodded and tapped the side of his head. "I understand. You don't have to tell me twice. I think my associate and I have seen all we need to see. I will leave a sample of linens suitable for the week, free of charge. I will return a week from now with fresh linens, and if you've found what we had suitable, we'll collect our fee and arrange for regular deliveries."

  "I think that will be fine, Mr. Markham." She laid a hand on his arm and flicked a strand of hair away from her face with the other. "I'll look forward to your return."

  QUEST COMPLETED - Case the merchant's house.

  1,500 experience points awarded.

  Quest completed - Find the Duke's family.

  1,500 experience points awarded.

  KAY WAS silent until they'd left the back of the home and were trundling down the alley again.

  "That went better than I expected. We found them and didn't even have to fight anyone to do it."

  "And now," Hal said. "We can return and rescue the Duke's family, hopefully slipping away without anyone knowing we were there."

  "When do we come back?" Kay asked.

  "We return tonight."

  QUEST ACCEPTED - Rescue the Duke's family.

  24

  IT WAS near midnight when Hal drove the laundry wagon back down the alley behind the merchant's home. As soon as they entered the alley, they slipped off their disguises and prepared for their little raid.

  Hal handed Kay a long strip of black cloth. "Here wrap this around your face. There's a slit in it so you can see. We should cover our faces. We've been seen here and might be recognized otherwise."

  "Now we're masked bandits in the night," Kay said, smiling in the darkness. "I like it."

  Hal wrapped his mask on, too. He'd gotten the idea from an old ninja costume he'd had as a kid.

  "Kay, here's the plan. We try to get in and out without anyone knowing we were here. I'd rather not have to kill everyone inside, but we can't afford to be followed, and someone recognizes us or the wagon. I'll park it in the alley and not the stable yard itself, but if anyone follows us, they'll surely see it."

  "I only saw two guards, but I suspect there are others, Hal," Kay said. "How will we deal with them? We don't have any more sleeping draughts, and I don't see how we could get it to them anyway."

  "We'll have to sneak up on the guards and dispatch them as quietly as possible," Hal said. "Then we free the Duchess and girls and return here to the wagon."

  Hal stopped the wagon and jumped down, tying the horse's reins to a small sapling growing next to the fence at the back of the house. Kay was already at the gate, trying to open it.

  "It's barred from the inside," Kay said.

  "I'll boost you over. You can unlock it from the other side."

  Kay nodded and stepped into Hal's interlocked hands while he lifted her up to the top of the gate. She scrambled over and disappeared from sight. Hal heard Kay lift the wooden bar from the other side and he pushed the gate open.

  Inside the stable yard, it was quiet. There were a few lights visible in the merchant's home, but Hal suspected they were lamps kept lit all night to provide light for the residents.

  The two thieves ran up to the rear of the home and tried the door. It was locked, as Hal expected. He removed his picks and set to work on the lock.

  The extra level he'd gained to his open locks skill must have paid off. He was able to open the lock without much trouble at all.

  The slot machine
started rattling in his head as they stepped inside telling Hal his luck was engaged. He hoped for a positive effect. He and Kay moved slowly into the home, watching and listening to the sounds of the home, trying to hear any signs of movement by the residents that would show they were alerted to the presence of intruders.

  Slipping into the main hallway but staying to the shadows, Hal noticed the guard by the study door. The door was closed now, and no light showed from under it.

  There must be something valuable in there. Hal's palms itched to see what it was.

  Hal and Kay crouched at the darkened end of the hallway watching the guard for a few moments. It was clear the man was bored and struggling to remain awake. He paced back and forth across the hall, rubbing his face and neck with one hand.

  Turning to Kay, Hal pointed to her and to the floor, indicating she should stay where she was.

  She nodded.

  He turned back to the guard then and timed the pacing back and forth. This was going to have to be done perfectly, and Hal hoped the rattling slot machine in his head landed in his favor.

  The guard turned and walked across the hallway, and Hal made his move. Drawing the dagger from his boot, Hal darted forward, staying on the balls of his feet to remain as silent as possible.

  The guard turned around just as Hal got there and the man's eyes widened in alarm.

  Hal clapped his free hand over the man's mouth, silencing him, and pressed him back against the wall while he slid the dagger up under the man's ribs. The man's eyes widened even more at the pain, and then went dark as the blade reached his heart.

  The slot machine kept rolling.

  1,000 EXPERIENCE POINTS AWARDED.

  LOWERING the man slowly to the floor, Hal motioned Kay forward.

  "Check the study door," Hal whispered. "See if you can open it. It would be nice to get some booty while we're here."

  Kay nodded and went to work while Hal dragged the guard's body over to a chair sitting outside the study door. Lifting him up, Hal was able to prop the man in the chair in such a way that it appeared he was asleep.

  Stepping back, Hal looked over his handiwork. It would do for now.

  Kay had managed to unlock the door to the study, and the two crept inside. Hal was able to see quite well with the little bit of light filtering in from the lamp in the hallway.

  A quick search of the room found a strong box inside bottom desk drawer. He examined the lock and found a trap that would release a vial of some liquid onto the hands of any would-be thief. Hal removed the trap’s triggering tension wire and then set to the lock with his picks. He was frustrated by the complexity of it and couldn’t open it. He turned to Kay and offered her a turn while he went and watched the door.

  A few minutes later, she called him back to her side.

  "Hal, I got it," she whispered.

  "Take everything, including any papers. We'll go through it all later."

  Kay nodded and stuffed the contents of the box into her pack while Hal waited.

  "Finished," she said as she joined him at the door.

  "Let's head upstairs, then. The Duchess awaits."

  Taking their time, trying to be as silent as possible, Hal and Kay climbed the stairs until they were almost to the third floor. Hal held out a hand to stop Kay while he raised his head carefully above the level of the third-floor landing.

  The guard at the far end of the hall was standing straight at attention and staring straight ahead. Hal was hidden in the shadows, and the guard showed no reaction at all so Hal was sure he wasn't seen.

  The slot machine in his head seemed to rattle faster at that moment. This was where his luck would play the biggest role.

  Hal ducked down and leaned close to Kay's ear so he could whisper as quietly as possible.

  "There's no way to sneak up on the guard. He's looking this way, and he appears to be wide awake. We're just going to have to rush him and take him as quietly as possible."

  Kay nodded. "What's your plan?" She whispered.

  I'll run straight at him, throwing all my blades as I do. I'll engage him from the front while you come right after me and get behind him to finish him off."

  She shrugged as if to say it was as good a plan as any.

  Hal turned around and drew two of his throwing knives from the sheaths strapped to the front of his armor. The remaining six knives waited in place for him to use them.

  Taking a deep breath, Hal pushed off with both legs, leaping to the top of the landing, throwing as he did. He barely noticed the slot machine stop and chime in his head as he took the first steps down the hallway, drawing and throwing two more blades after the first pair.

  Everything seemed to go in slow motion.

  The guard's attention shifted to the movement at the end of the hall. His eye's registered the black, masked figure charging from the stairs straight at him.

  The first blade struck the guard in the chest, the second in his abdomen.

  The guard let out a groan and doubled over, causing the two follow-up blades to sail past his head and embed in the plaster wall behind him.

  Hal shifted his aim lower with the fifth and sixth knives and saw them fly true into the guard's exposed back. One must have severed his spine because he suddenly went limp and collapsed to the floor.

  Hal held onto the final two knives, running the last few steps forward and slitting the guard's throat with a single motion.

  1,000 EXPERIENCE POINTS AWARDED.

  KAY DODGED past Hal and started on the locked door immediately since the guard was already down. There had been little noise, but it was best to hurry now. Every moment wasted could mean discovery.

  While Kay worked at unlocking the door, Hal retrieved and cleaned off his blades. He was getting better at using these as the notification in his head said. This had been the most successful use of all, though he knew a lot had ridden on his luck.

  A click and creaking door told Hal his companion had opened the door to the Duchess' room.

  Kay took the guard's lamp from the hall table nearby and walked into the room followed by Hal. He searched the room for its occupants. A gasp from the bed drew his attention, and he saw a handsome woman of about thirty crouched behind it, clutching two little girls to her chest.

  "Assassins," she hissed.

  Hal reached up and pulled his mask down.

  "No, ma'am, rescuers," Hal said. "Come on, Duchess, we don't have much time to get away before someone wakes up and finds out we've been here."

  "Who are you?"

  "We’re acquaintances of your husband, ma'am," Kay said, pulling her mask down as well. "We discovered your whereabouts and decided we had to act on his behalf to free you. Now please, we must go now, or we'll never get away."

  "Come, girls, fetch your shoes and get dressed for travel," the Duchess said after a brief pause in thought.

  "There's no time for that," Hal said. "We can get you other clothes later. Put on shoes if you must, but then we must leave."

  The woman started to say something, but then her eyes shifted to the guard's body and pool of blood on the floor in the hallway, soaking a broad stain into the rug there. She nodded and hustled her girls into their shoes. Soon the three of them stood ready to go.

  "Good," Hal said. "Follow my friend here. He'll lead you outside. I'll come along behind as a rear guard."

  The Duchess nodded, and Kay started down the hallway to the stairs. The Duchess followed her, briefly shielding her daughters' eyes from the dead guard's body by the doorway.

  Hal had a grim decision to make, but it was a necessary one. If he covered their tracks, maybe no one would know they'd been here. There was a lamp in the Duchess' room and Hal dumped the oil from it on the bed and then used the lamp brought in from the hallway to light the bedclothes aflame.

  The room began to fill with smoke immediately, and Hal turned and quietly ran back to the stairs and down to the first floor. Kay had already reached the back door with their three charges and had s
tarted across the stable yard towards the gate. Hal followed, glancing backward to see flames begin to shoot from a window on the upper floor.

  "Look, mommy, fire," one of the little girls said.

  The Duchess looked back over her shoulder, then bent to pick up her smallest daughter. "Yes, dear. It's a fire to help us escape."

  Smart woman, Hal thought. She knew it was an important part of the ploy.

  Outside the gate, Kay opened the back of the laundry wagon and pointed inside.

  "Get inside the big laundry hamper, cover up with sheets and pull the lid closed atop you. Got it?"

  "Yes. Where are you taking us?"

  "Somewhere safe for now. Trust us, and we'll get you back to your husband soon enough."

  Kay closed the door and Hal went and untied the reins from the sapling then climbed up into the front of the wagon to join Kay. They both donned their white smocks and pants, then Hal shook the reins and the horse started moving down the alley again at a walk.

  A glance over his shoulder showed the whole top floor was aflame now. It wouldn't be long until the whole house caught fire. The evidence of their presence would be erased. Hal shook the reins, again, and the horse picked up speed to a fast walk. It would be best if they were far away when the alarm bell began ringing.

  QUEST COMPLETED - Rescue the Duke's family.

  6,000 experience points awarded.

  HAL KNEW it was going to be a while before he leveled up again but he checked his progress nonetheless.

  NAME: Hal Dix

  Class: Rogue

  Level: 8

  ATTRIBUTES:

  Brawn: 14 -- +3

  Wisdom: 8

  Luck: 22 -- +7

  Speed: 12 -- +2

  Looks: 8

  Health: 64/64

  SKILLS: Taunt - 2, Dark Vision, Acrobatic Dodge - 5, Hide in Shadows - 2, Sneak Attack - 2, Open Locks - 2, Find/Remove Traps.

  Experience: 30,600/38,000

  25