Stealing Ryder (Sharing Harper, 2)

by Murphy, V

  “I just can’t, Ryder. It’s the timing of all of this. Right now, I just can’t do this. You have some issues you need to work through with your past, and I have some shit I have to deal with. The timing between us was always too perfect and too right, but it just fell apart. You have to accept that things might fall apart to come back together.” I had hoped that maybe with a light at the end of the tunnel, it would be easier to leave. He needed that hope I was trying to give to him.

  “I don’t want you to leave, Harper. I want to work through this,” he begged, now standing above me.

  “I have already worked through it, and it’s over. I am done with everything we had. I have to go, and I really don’t want to make this any harder than it already is.” I secretly hoped it would be easier than this.

  I urged that numb feeling to come over my body because I needed it to protect me from the rush of emotions I was actually feeling. I was trying to be strong and make it appear that this was easy for me. It was an easy coping mechanism I used to escape the harsh realities of life itself.

  That thing in my dream was right though, and always the voice in the back of my head when I felt like I was going to crack. I had to realize I was always going to be that other woman to Ryder, and no matter what he said, nothing was going to change that. He was never going to change and I knew that. I just had to make the best out of this so we could leave as easily as he came into my life.

  “Please, don’t do this. Look at me, Harper. I’m broken in two. I’m cryin’ like a damn baby right now. I don’t want to think about my life without you in it. Who will I wake up with in the mornin’? Who will be curled up next to me when I open my eyes? Who am I going to talk to about my day? Who will sit next to me, eatin’ junk food and rubbin’ their incredibly sexy body against mine?” He cried, and when he stopped, waterworks came down my face.

  It pained my heart because he didn’t think I was going to miss all of that too, that I was dreading losing him for those reasons.

  “I don’t want to do this!” Ryder cried, dropping to his knees.

  “It’s already done,” I whispered.

  His hands reached up and grabbed the top of my head; while he rubbed his soft fingers through my hair, I watched the pools of water drip from his eyes. This was going to hurt both of us, but it had to be done. His face was still turned in a gut-wrenching frown, but something else came over his body. It was almost like a hunger to taste me one last time. To share a moment together that we both knew was going to be the last moment of it’s kind.

  I grabbed his hands and put them back down. I wasn’t sure if I was ready for one last time with him. I just sort of wanted a clean break, but this was going to happen. It was a moment that was bound to occur. We were initially bound by our intimate ties, so it made sense that we would be broken by them.

  “I’m so sorry,” he groveled, while taking my waist and pulling me into his. Tears started forming in his eyes again as he stared at me with his infamous blue eyes, which were a shade darker tonight.

  His lips touched mine gently, as if he was yearning for more, but oh-so-careful not to upset me or surprise me. When they touched mine, there was a spark that elicited hope throughout my body, but I quickly suppressed that thought. This was goodbye and nothing more. We both knew it. It was over, what we had was something amazing, but neither of us could do it anymore. When a relationship became too difficult, it was easier just to give up, and I was giving up and letting go.

  His hands slowly moved from my sides and ran through my hair, pushing it back while he looked at me, tears now exploring the bottom of his cheeks.

  “I will—” he began, when his lips left mine.

  “Shh,” I commanded, and pressed my lips against his, inhaling his scent and taking him in one last time. I pushed him against the wall, and he grabbed my legs and lifted me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and crossed my feet so I wouldn’t slip.

  Emotions were eating at me, and I felt so completely empty and worthless that I hugged him tightly, trying desperately to feel something with him. I was in this for the long haul at one point, but I couldn’t believe anything he said now, and the trust we’d had was broken. I saw the look on his face when he talked about having a family with Kylee and Evelyn, and I had to let him go.

  “It doesn’t have to happen like this, Harper.” He whispered hoarsely, desperately hugging me tighter to him and lifting my legs as high as they would go around his hips.

  “It has to be like this, Ryder. Me and you? We are just two people who have bad timing and too many secrets to have a healthy relationship now.”

  I kissed him desperately so he wouldn’t respond, and he countered my attack by slipping his velvety tongue into my mouth, caressing me deeply. He walked over to the bed, not letting go with his lips once. He threw me on the plush hotel bed and got on his knees as he pushed me up towards the headboard.

  “God, you are beautiful,” he groveled, the tears still wet on his cheeks.

  He slipped his hands under the hem of my shirt, and I willingly lifted my hands up as he slid the shirt past my arms. His hands moved slowly down my neck, past my shoulders as he circled them slowly around my body. It was almost as if he was trying to memorize the curves of my body. His hand slipped behind me and unhooked my bra with one hand, yanking it off my body. My tits spilled out and his mouth went down immediately to suckle my nipples hard—so hard it almost hurt. His tongue was darting in and out, and his teeth lightly nibbled.

  He pressed his lips down my stomach, kissing each area with gentle ease. When he reached the top of my pajama bottoms, he yanked them off, exposing the black thong I was still wearing from the dress I had on at the wedding. He looked down at me, and as the wet tears still dripped onto my naked torso, he smiled and pulled his hand under the lace seam of the underwear.

  “Don’t even think about it,” I dared, as a big rip echoed through the room. My underwear was in two pieces as he laughed and threw them on the floor.

  His mouth came down on my shaven pussy in a fury, as his tongue desperately circled the outside of my clit, making me yearn for more. The desperation in his tongue to find more and go deeper was evident as the pressure inside of me was pushed further. I needed him, and he understood exactly what to do as his tongue circled the outside of me and he slipped two fingers inside of me, pressing up against the walls of my swollen core.

  Everything was different this time as he stared at my mouth contorting with pleasure. It was almost as if he was eager to please and make me happy. He needed to see me climax because he wanted to experience something with me that no one else would ever be able to do.

  His mouth moved slowly from me, and he wiped off his lips as he kissed back up to my navel and towards my neck, stopping for a moment to slowly bite my right ear ever so carefully.

  His eyes permeated deep into my soul as he stared at me and thrust himself inside of me at the same time. His eyes never faltered as he pushed deeper inside of me, letting me feel the extent of his size. I cried out and arched my back, my head involuntarily falling back.

  “No,” he demanded, and cradled my head in his hand so that he could see my face.

  Everything was different this time around. His movements were slower, and he stared at me as he pushed in and out very gently, taking his time to caress me. His lips descended down onto mine, and he hungrily tried to find the connection between us that we both knew we would lose the minute this ended.

  I pushed him up so that he had to pull himself out of me, but quickly had him re-engaged by getting on top of him. Slow tears started tickling the lids of my eyes, but I pushed forward, grinding roughly onto him while moaning with pleasure.

  His pain was evident in his face, which was contorted into something I couldn’t recognize. This, for us, wasn’t anything we had done before. This moment was full of lust, love, passion, but mostly pain. The pain we both felt leaving each other stranded and alone in this heavy world. I leaned deeper into him, calling out f
rom pleasure as he grabbed my tits and pushed hard against them. The bed rocked back and forth as I rode him deeper into a tireless oblivion. I felt every vein of his dick inside of me as I drove further onto him.

  “Please,” he cried out.

  His voice was laced in both sexual desire and loss knowing that this intimate moment we were sharing with each other would be our last. This moment was going to end as quickly as it started. I clung onto him desperately, until he grabbed my hips and picked me up. I wrapped my legs tightly around his back and continued to bounce on his dick, keeping him deep inside of me while he carried me and threw me against the wall.

  “Fuck!” I moaned, as he pinned my arms against the unforgiving wall and thrust deep into me, hitting me in my precious g-spot.

  My tits felt sore they were bouncing so hard, and I had no control over my hands, so I was writhing in pleasurable pain. We were stuck like this for what seemed like forever, him pounding into me over and over again with such speed and desire that I thought my vagina was actually going to implode at a certain point. It all came to a sudden halt when he stopped abruptly and grabbed onto me, throwing me back onto the bed and leaning close to me.

  His lips met mine ever so gently as he caressed them with his. I couldn’t hear anything, but felt the wetness on his cheeks, which was clearly tears coming from his eyes. I knew immediately that he had been crying.

  “Baby, I am so sorry. You have to forgive me,” he cried while still pushing his dick into mine, but this time, there was no intense desire, but rather a gentle ease in which he did so.

  Tears started pricking my eyes as well, as we both looked at each other and he pushed deeper inside. I had never had sex like this…if that’s what I could even call it. It was something indescribable. I couldn’t put my finger on it, but what we shared in that moment was pure, unadulterated, and unfiltered love for each other. There was no one else around us, just the intimate moment between Ryder and myself. For a second, I thought that maybe this could really mend our relationship, and maybe there was a sliver of a chance for us to move forward; but alas, it wasn’t true. Sex was going to end, and then it would be back to reality. So, instead, I drove my hips into his, shoving his member into my throbbing core. I ground into him until I felt tension build up inside of me.

  “I…am….going…to…” I cried out when I couldn’t hold it anymore.

  “Cum for me, baby,” Ryder moaned, thrusting himself deeper and deeper.

  As the pressure built up inside of me, I felt a sudden burst of release as I let go all over Ryder’s aching dick. He cried out desperately, as I felt him release his built-up pressure all over me. I felt the warm liquid spill against my stomach as he moaned with inane pleasure. Quickly, I cleaned my stomach off, and began to crawl away from him onto the other side of the bed. He started to crawl next to me, but stopped in the middle of the bed. I pushed him away, not allowing him to get close to me or start to cuddle with me.

  Rather, he looked over at me with sadness in his face, but with a knowing glance that everything we once had ended with that orgasm. He slid in next to me, and tucked himself under the covers. “I know you’re not going to understand what I am doing, but it hurts. The pain I feel inside of me is as if someone keeps stabbing me over and over again,” I whispered to him, as he just continued to sit and stare at me. It was almost as if he was trying to take me in and study my every movement and feature.

  “I know, Harper. I understand.” He whispered very quietly. We both were silent again, but Ryder continue to glance at me while his eyelids were getting heavy.

  He slid next to me and grabbed onto my stomach, pulling my back into his chest and holding me tightly. I let him. I owed it to him, at the very least, to hold me and to feel his warmth against me. I felt the warm, teary sensation come again, and small droplets fell onto the bed, as I understood this was going to be the last I saw of Ryder Andrew Kent. This was going to be the last of an era and a moment in my life. There was going to be no more of this ever again, and I had to just sit back and ride this wave until it crashed against the shore. “Just let me stay here tonight. Just like this, please,” he begged me, pushing me further against him. I felt as though I was going to actually connect to his body if he pulled me any tighter.

  “Okay,” was all I was able to croak out. As the night turned into early morning, I wasn’t able to get any sort of sleep, but I could hear Ryder next to me snoring softly in his sleep.

  I didn’t think I was strong enough to face him in the morning. What were we even going to say to each other? ‘Oh, thanks for letting me fuck you, but I have to leave now?’ Was he going to try to make me stay with him? There was no way I could even begin to do that. I needed to go. At this point, I had my heart set on going, and knew that if he tried to convince me, I would stay. I was weak and infantile, easily pressured to doing something that I knew was going to fail anyways. Our relationship was over, and while it was wonderful and a complete and utter fairytale while it lasted, not all fairytales get their happy endings. Our ending sucked. Plain and simple.

  I quickly and quietly rolled off the bed, glancing over at Ryder to see if my movements had woken him up. He was still sleeping soundly, but curled up in a fetal position. This hurt. Sure, it was my idea and my fault for doing this, and I probably could have worked it all out with Ryder, but I couldn’t let myself be that weak again. I couldn’t go back into old patterns like I had in the past with Tye. I was a different person, and I had Ryder to thank for that, but I still needed to be me.

  The new Harper, who didn’t fall into old patterns and let others walk all over her. The new Harper didn’t let people skate by her, or did what others said just to please them. No, I was going to take this stand for myself because I had to. There was simply no other way around this. With that, I grabbed my bag, and stuffed everything I had come to Texas with, which wasn’t much to start, and clicked away on my phone until I was able to book a plane ticket home.

  When I was ready to leave, I glanced over at Ryder one last time. This was it. It really was the last time I was going to see him, laying there so peaceful and satisfied. I couldn’t imagine the pain that was going to perpetuate on his face in the morning. It was going to be trying and hard for both of us. It was going to be so fucking excruciating to get over him, but I just had to keep reminding myself that I was doing this all for my sanity. It was all for me. A cacophony of emotions was bubbling from inside of my chest, and an explosion was forthright and imminent. I needed to escape from here, and from him, now. I needed to run away from the pain that was welling in my chest. I grabbed the last of my clothes and stuffed them into my small suitcase, making sure not to make a single peep. That was it. My great, epic romance was over and I was back to square one.

  I was clearly a disaster that not even Ryder was able to tame. When my bag was finally packed, I quickly tiptoed outside the room and locked the door behind me. Locking away the pain I couldn’t bring myself to bare anymore. He didn’t love me, it was clear when I saw him kissing her last night. I could never be that family he longed for, and with that, I knew I had to leave. I walked down the long hotel hallway until I clicked G on the elevator.

  Everything I was doing felt so methodical and robotic, even when hailing a cab. I was numb to the emotions inside me. It was time to escape. Far away from the pain Ryder had caused me.

  Chapter 11

  Ryder

  I fell asleep lying next to the love of my life, and woke up to an empty bed. I suspected she would leave during the middle of the night, but was tryin’ to hope for the best. Damn, it’s like missin’ something that you didn’t even know you had until it left. Stumbling out of bed, I went over to the bathroom to see if maybe she left some of her stuff on the counter, but I didn’t see anything.

  She was gone. Just with a snap of my fingers, she had disappeared out my life. I felt like such a goddamn pussy crying last night when we were together like that, but shit, it was like she pressed some button inside of me an
d I didn’t know how to switch it off. It was fuckin’ pathetic of me, but I knew I fucked up bad when I saw her running out of that wedding reception.

  I grabbed whatever clothes were on the floor and left the room in the mess that we created last night, double checkin’ to make sure Harper hadn’t forgotten anything. The least I could do was send it to her or somethin’…

  Fuck. What the hell was I going to do without my woman? It seriously felt like I was missin’ a limb without her. I needed her. No, I fuckin’ craved her. Honestly, I didn’t get it. Maybe I’m too goddamn stupid to even understand her logic in all of this, but I didn’t get why she had to go. It just wasn’t clicking in my brain.

  She was everything to me. To this moment, she’s the light of my life; and everything I do, I do with her and Evelyn in mind. Yeah, I fucked up, and I know I fucked up real bad, but that doesn’t mean shit in the bigger picture. I fucked up once. We are all human; we are bound to make mistakes, so I’m not sure why she can’t forgive me for this.

  I bet it’s her goddamn pride. I swear, if I could get my hands on that fucking piece of shit Tye from her past, I’d kill him. I would cut his balls out of his sack and shove him as far down his throat. That motherfucker shouldn’t even be breathin’ and wouldn’t be when I was through with him. That little shit fucked up Harper so bad. All our issues in our relationship lead back to that little bastard. Heartless little shit.

  I mean, in that sense, I get why she had to leave. She felt like my dumbass had betrayed her. I can’t stand being that asshole to her. I fuckin’ hate it. She didn’t deserve it and I gave it to her. I gave her the same feelin’ she felt with Tye, and I couldn’t deal with that personally. That is why I had to let her go.

  Fuck. Me.

  I needed to hail a cab from the hotel to go back to Knox’s house. I knew Knox and Savannah had probably already gone away on their honeymoon, and I was due at the airport in a couple hours; but honestly, I wanted to get back to San Diego as fast as I could. This trip was a disaster and I was ready to just be home.