by Shelly Davis
Kyle grumbled, “We said we weren’t sayin’ anything yet.”
“Well judgin’ by Jules’ lack of reaction, I’d guess he already knew.”
Jules … I like that. He smiled at the woman and kissed her cheek. “Of course I knew. I knew right after you took the home test. He freakin’ texted me.”
“Kyle!” she shouted. She smacked him hard in the chest and scowled at him, “Dammit.”
Kyle grinned and made no apologies. “Anyway,” he stopped and sighed. His smile grew watching Margie place her hand over her stomach. “After you and the love of my life go shoppin’,” he paused kissing her hand, “we’ll meet in the lobby of the hotel. We have dinner with Axel and our main sponsor; they’re interested in meetin’ our intern.”
I nodded. I hadn’t realized I would have to go to dinner, let alone meet some executives from some big company. I wasn’t the most elegant person and I wasn’t extremely comfortable in dresses. But I guessed this was all part of being a crew chief, a part I could do without.
After going to the track and checking in with Kevin, Margie found me and to go shopping. We talked while driven to our destination.
“So, any ideas on where you wanna go?” Margie asked.
“I don’t know. I gotta be honest, I’m kinda on a budget so don’t have much to spend on a dress–”
“Oh, don’t worry. Jules and Ky said they’d take care of the dresses.”
“Margie, I don’t want anyone’s charity.” I didn’t tell her I especially didn’t want Julius buying anything for me. It made me uncomfortable.
“Honey, it ain’t charity. The company works this way. When the guys have to get suits or do anything which requires them to dress up, the company takes care of those expenses. It’s a perk built in for the team. Just wait ‘til the end of the season awards ceremony, the company buys the guys’ new suits or new accessories for suits they already have,” Margie explained. “Anyway, this is dress, shoes, hair, makeup, and the works today. This is an essential dinner for you; you’re meetin’ the team owner, Axel and the rep from Icecore, our main sponsor. They wanna make sure their investment is safe. You need to make an impression. You need to show your beauty, because you are gorgeous and can’t hide that, but you need to show them the mechanic underneath it all.”
Her comment about my beauty threw me. I’d never had someone I hardly knew tell me I was gorgeous. Then I remembered how Julius said my mother was beautiful and then said I looked just like her. Did he call me beautiful? My heart hammered and my stomach erupted with butterflies. He called me beautiful. One of the hottest men I’d ever seen told me I was beautiful. He said it in a roundabout way, but he still said it. Holy cow, Julius Fuller thinks I’m pretty.
I hated that I had to meet the team owner and sponsor. What if I wasn’t good enough to impress these guys? What if all they saw was a girl in a dress and not a knowledgeable engineer? Would they send me packing? Would I lose my internship? Would it be the end of my career? Of everything I’ve ever worked for?
“What if I don’t impress them, Margie? What if I get tongue tied and can’t deal?”
She laughed, she actually laughed and it kind of made me angry. There was nothing funny about my mini meltdown. “Toni, relax. Seriously, you are too nervous for being so young. The sponsors like to act all big and bad like their opinions matter, but the reality is they don’t know shit about cars or racing. The only people you need to impress are Ky and Axel, believe me, you’ve impressed Kyle. You have nothin’ to worry about—I promise.”
Okay, I can talk to Axel. He could ask me questions and I’d be able to answer them. I hope he doesn’t ask anything I can’t handle … I had to calm the hell down. I could handle this. I just needed to be comfortable.
“All right,” she said and directed the driver to the stores she wanted to check out. “This is gonna be fun,” she said with a huge smile on her face.
We drove for what seemed like forever. Margie kept the conversation going by asking all the normal questions. How did I become a mechanic? How hard had it been working with all guys for all these years? Did I ever want to do anything else? Then the question I never wanted to answer came up. Why was being single so bizarre to people? I didn’t want to blow her off as I did with Kyle, but I didn’t want to tell her everything either. For some reason I found myself unable to ignore her or give her the standard ‘I’m not interested in dating’ answer. I didn’t know if it was because she reminded me so much of Mia, or if it was the need to just open up to someone after my tumultuous morning and then the flight.
“I just don’t date anymore. Dating just isn’t worth it,” I told her. I waited to see if she would fish for information or if she would just leave it be.
“Why? What happened?” she asked.
I sighed at the idea of reliving the experience. But the one thing I’ve learned from Dr. Mathews was that time will heal and you must purge yourself of your demons in order to move on. Maybe it was time to purge a few of those demons and try to go forward instead of living in a perpetual standstill.
Sucking in a deep breath, I thought about how I wanted to present this to her, but then I realized it was best to just put some of it out there. I would give her a little information and skim over or ignore the parts I don’t want to talk about.
“I wasn’t the most outgoing girl in high school,” I began. The words just rolled out of me as I continued. “I mean, I had Jake and Cade and my friend Mia, and I was happy. I started junior year auto mechanics classes and gained some more friends there too. But I wasn’t one who frequently went out or hung around waitin’ to be noticed. You know high school, girls walkin’ around in short skirts and tight shirts, arrogant guys, parties, and drinkin’. That stuff just wasn’t me.” I paused for a breath, thinking about the past. I liked my life before Todd. I was completely content with who I was and didn’t care about what other kids thought. And then he walked into my life. “When this guy brought his car into shop for us to work on and he paid attention to me, I was shocked. Jake and Cade didn’t like him, but I didn’t pay attention to them. I thought they were just being overprotective. By the summer after eleventh grade, we were dating. Everything was good at first, but it didn’t take long to go … really bad …” I told her some basics, but I wasn’t willing to go into it all. I told her about how he talked to me and how he was rough with me, but nothing more. I just wasn’t ready to let it all out, but it felt good to let her in a little. But even just the little I told her, made her tear up.
“Oh my goodness, Toni,” was all she said before pulling me into her arms and giving me a big hug. “You haven’t dated since, have you?”
“No, not really. I mean I’ve hung out in groups a few times, but nothing more. It’s hard sometimes. The good thing is I’ve had Jake and Cade to help me and give me strength after coming here.”
“Can I tell you something?” she asked. She gave me a big smile, her brown eyes lit up with an understanding that I’d never seen from anyone before. “You will move on and you will be stronger than you ever were. I think you’re already on your way.”
“How can you be so sure?” I asked quietly.
She smiled again, “Because I’ve been there. When I was in college I had a bad time with my boyfriend. He was cruel and vicious. My brother found out. There had been rumors floatin’ around and he got wind of them. He came to my school one day and confronted my boyfriend. My brother saved me, just like your surrogate brothers saved you.”
“Sounds like you have an amazin’ brother,” I said. I didn’t need to ask how he saved her or what he did. If he was anything like the twins, then he did everything he could to help her. I wondered if I would ever meet the brother that rescued his sister from the depths of hell.
“Jules is pretty fantastic,” she said with a smile.
I looked at her shocked. I never imagined Julius Fuller was her brother. They looked so different on the surface. But then I thought about Julius’ face and looked at Margi
e. They did resemble one another. “Julius is your brother?”
Her face lit up. The affection she had for him was evident. “Yep, Jules is my little brother.”
Wow! I didn’t say anything. I was just surprised to learn that this group was all connected way beyond friendship and business. They were a family. And I’d been dropped right in the middle of them. I hoped I never said anything derogatory about Julius to her. I wracked my brain, trying to find some instance that I could have said something bad about him to her, but I didn’t think I ever did.
“Toni, you’ll find your way. And when you least expect it you’ll meet a man who helps you heal and trust again. Ky did that for me. Ky helped me accept that it wasn’t my fault. Just like what happened to you wasn’t your fault.
“When Jules asked me to come to North Carolina to visit him, I didn’t hesitate. I was going to see my brother and to get away from our little town in Tennessee for a while. I knew his best friend Kyle from when we were kids, but meeting him again as an adult, I was almost immediately smitten.” The smile on her face spread when she talked about Kyle. She giggled a little, “He was relentless. But over time, he proved to me that he was a good guy. He treated me with respect and he was patient. After I reconnected with Ky, I never went back home other than to visit my mom.”
“How long have the two of you been married?” I asked, curious about the dynamics of this family.
“Ky and I have been married for almost five years now and I wouldn’t change one moment.”
Her happiness gave me hope. Maybe I could also find that one single person to heal me. I just hoped I wouldn’t miss it because I was too afraid.
We pulled in front of a boutique and Margie smiled. “We’re here. Let’s go find something fabulous to knock the guys speechless.”
~oOo~
Four hours later, after dresses, hair, and makeup, Margie and I walked into the lobby of the hotel. Her blond pixie cut was perfectly styled and her brown eyes shown bright against her dark eye shadow. Her flowing black dress was longer in the back and shorter in the front with long lace sleeves. The top of the dress stretched straight across her collar and then plunged halfway down her back. The shape of the dress accented her thin waist and her shapely legs. She was also wearing a pair of high-heeled red peep toe shoes. She was gorgeous.
The dress Margie picked out for me was much more form fitting and revealing than hers was. It made me incredibly uncomfortable, but Margie insisted it was perfect. Margie even took pictures of me in the dress to send to Mia since I didn’t believe Margie or the sales clerk, or anyone else in the store for that matter. The dress was ruby red and silky. It came down to just above my knees and the top had a square cut neckline showing just a peak of cleavage, but still more than I was used to showing. Margie and Mia agreed the dress was perfect for my curvy figure, as if it was made just for me. I loved the bright red of the dress. It was a nice color against my tan complexion and dark hair. At Margie’s insistence, I wore a pair of black heels which made me tower over her much smaller frame. I felt too tall around most women, but with the shoes on, I’d be lucky if I didn’t tower over most men too. But when I put the shoes on and perused the image in front of me, I was amazed. I don’t think I’d ever seen myself like this before. With my hair fixed, hanging in ringlets down my back, makeup, the dress, the shoes, I could finally see my mother. I actually felt … pretty.
Margie and I sat in the lobby talking, waiting for Kyle and Julius to arrive so we could go to dinner. I wasn’t sure what was going to be expected of me, but I was concerned about the way I looked. I didn’t look like a mechanic; I looked like a woman going on a date. I worried they might take one look at me and not take me seriously. I almost wished I would have fought harder for dress pants or something. At least I could feel more like myself.
I knew the moment Kyle and Julius arrived. Margie immediately stopped talking and she got a huge smile on her face. The adoration for her husband was apparent in her eyes and in her smile. It was clear to anyone with eyes that Margie loved these two men dearly. She stood and I followed, too nervous to turn and see the two men walking toward us.
All thoughts of changing and pretty much anything else slipped from my mind when I turned to see Kyle and Julius nearing. Their eyes drifted over both of us, but Julius’ stayed on me. In his stare was the hunger that I noticed back in the garage in Mooresville. Like he was seeing someone other than me. They walked up to us and Kyle’s smile was enormous when he looked at his wife.
“My god woman, you look beautiful,” he kissed her cheek and then turned to me. “And holy shit, Toni. I knew you were pretty, but damn. I’m glad I’m married because I don’t think I could work with you otherwise.”
His compliment both surprised me and made me blush. I didn’t know what to say, so I focused my gaze on the floor. I could still feel Julius’ stare focused on me. I wasn’t sure what it meant, but I liked his eyes on me.
Chapter Eight
Julius
Holy fuckin’ hell. She’s gorgeous. I knew she was pretty. I also knew she had a hot ass body just from seeing her in jeans and t-shirts, but that dress … Damn … that dress hugged every single curve, showed every single muscle. She was in flawless shape and the dress accentuated her form perfectly. She towered over my much shorter sister in her heels, and those heels made her legs look a mile long. Fuckin’ hell, I’m screwed.
She stood there quietly, shying away from Ky’s compliment. Damn, she can’t be this fucking striking and modest at the same time. It wasn’t possible. I’ve never met a single woman who was both. Anna knew she was pretty and she loved to wear things to make me, and every other man, look at her and she was never modest about showing herself. Toni was totally different. She had to be one of the most gorgeous women that I’d ever seen and she didn’t even seem to know it. That quality made her even more dangerous. Instead of enjoying the compliment like most women would, she seemed embarrassed by Kyle’s praise. She was so damn modest; she couldn’t even look people in the eye when they gave her a compliment.
Standing there looking at this awe-inspiring creature, I wasn’t sure how long I’d be able to keep my hands off her. But, the reality was, I couldn’t see myself blindly using her as I did so many others. I’d numbly gone through the last five years of my life fucking random women that I never had to see again, never feeling anything. Then in one meeting, this girl made me question everything. I wanted to feel her flesh in my hands, her hair running through my fingers, my body meshed as one with hers. I wanted to feel her as I haven’t felt another woman for years. She was here to stay and according to Kyle, we needed her. The problem was my body was feeling a need for her too.
“What do you think, Jules?” Margie asked, pulling me from my thoughts. Then I realized I had been standing there staring at Toni the entire time without saying a word.
“I think Ky and I are pretty lucky to have the two most beautiful women in Daytona with us tonight,” I said. Toni glanced up through her eyelashes and her golden brown eyes seemed to shine as they met mine for just a moment before she looked back down again. A faint blush crept across her cheeks, giving her a natural glow that made her even prettier. Damn, I’m in fuckin’ trouble with this woman.
Kyle offered his arm to Margie to lead her out of the hotel. Toni wasn’t my date, but I offered her my arm anyway. She looked at me uneasily.
“I’m just tryin’ to be a gentleman, Toni. Don’t worry.” I didn’t know why I felt the need to try to ease her nerves, but I just knew it was something I needed to do. I smiled at her, trying to make her feel at ease. She hesitantly took my arm and the four of us walked out of the hotel and to the car waiting at the valet. We all slid inside and got comfortable. Pulling away from the curb, I fiddled with the stations on the radio. We needed background music, and I needed something to do with my hand. Toni sat next to me in the front seat, her dress climbing up to reveal half of her thigh. I had to drag my eyes from the view of previously hidden smooth
skin being exposed. I stopped playing with the channels when I found Come Alive by The Foo Fighters. The song quietly flowed through the speakers, marking the occasion. I couldn’t help but think how appropriate the song was for the moment. The first time in a long time, I felt like myself again, as if Toni coming into my life was bringing me back to whom I once was. That thought frightened me a little, but the day I met this girl I started to feel again.
The conversation flowed easily through the car as we neared the restaurant. We talked about testing and the upcoming season. Ky tried to prepare Toni for meeting Axel. We all knew Axel’s opinion mattered more than anyone else’s did. If he had a problem with Toni, we’d be fucked. I couldn’t imagine anyone having a problem with her though. She was smart, talented, and sweet.
~oOo~
Walking into the restaurant, I instantly noticed the eyes that followed us as we approached the bar. I didn’t delude myself for one moment that they were only looking at me. I knew I was easily recognized from Icecore commercials and to fans but, in my opinion, it was the woman on my arm attracting the most attention. She was gorgeous and shining brighter than any star in the sky. We arrived earlier than our reservation so we sat at the bar for a drink. I noticed several men watch her glide to her seat. I didn’t like how that made me feel. I knew the feeling well, but it had been a long time since I felt a pang of jealousy.
“So Jules, what do you think about your time trials tomorrow?” Margie asked me. She had a look in her eyes as if she could read my mind. More than likely, she probably could. The big sister ESP thing she always seemed to have was annoying, but it was good to know she had my back no matter what happened. I wondered what Margie would think if I pursued Toni. I wondered what Kyle would think or do. We have nothing in our contract deterring us from dating people in the company, but this was an unprecedented situation. Of course, I was the boss so in theory, I made the rules.