by K. J. Dahlen
“Marco, the last few weeks have been a fucking living hell. I respect you. Worked for you for over a decade. But it’s clear that something’s not right. You’re investing in a business deal, that’s a fucking life sentence. If you don’t end up dead, then you’ll be ending up in prison. Was it because of this girl? Was that the reason you didn’t look at all of the reports? I just don’t fucking get it. But I’m not going to go down for this. It isn’t fucking worth it. Think about what I’ve said and then get back to me. When you come to your senses.”
I put down the drink next to his empty glass as his words sting my ears. I heard every word, but I’ve been ignoring them, as it’s clear that I haven’t been paying attention to anything.
He pats me on the back as he heads out of the door. He doesn’t wait for me to say a word. Not that there’s anything for me to say. I can’t reply in my defense because I know he’s right. I fucked up, and there’s a price to pay for it. One that I know I’m not going to like. Fuck, I really should have been paying attention.
I signal for the bartender to pass me another drink. I need to get the fuck out of here and go home. To my family home, a place I haven’t been to in a while, but this is way out of my control. I’m fucking kidding myself by saying I can handle it. I can’t fucking handle anything, not including my supposed clean life. One that I’m not going to live, no matter how hard I try.
20
Leah
I feel as if my reality has turned into a big nightmare as I can hardly move. No longer am I being surrounded by silk sheets, but I’m sitting on a wooden chair.
My hands are tied up, and I think that I’m alone in the dark. I want to speak. Say something, but I can’t, as my hands are no longer free to do as they please. Everything’s changed, and I start to panic as I start to think about what I could have done to deserve it.
Did Marco come back to torture me? Or is this just David’s plan? One to keep me tied up and make sure that I don’t escape. He’s right about that because for now, I couldn’t escape even if I wanted to. I’m stuck here for the unforeseeable future.
I have a vision of me confessing and telling David the truth. It’s an illusion, maybe brought on by tiredness and I don’t know what’s going on with me anymore. I should have just told him the truth and accepted my fate. I’m kidding myself. There’s no way out for me. One minute, I think that it’s best to keep quiet and pretend I don’t know what they’re talking about. Make out that I’m the innocent one in all of this.
A lie that could save me or be my death. I can’t tell.
I want to do something. Say anything, but the option has been taken away from me. I can’t-do anything because he has me locked up in the room. I can’t see anything as my eyes are covered. I know that eventually, he’ll have to untie me. I try and remember back to when he brought me back into the room.
He hit me so hard that I blacked out, then as I tried opening my eyes, I found myself closing them again. One minute I feel as if I’m on top of the world and the next it’s as if I’m falling again. Scared that I’m taking my last breath and that’ll be the end of me.
I know that Mom and Hayley will only be sad about the money that I won’t be able to send them. As for Olivia, she’ll probably be angry that I lied to her and then it dawns on me.
Am I no better than Marco?
My life would end, and so far, there’ll be no one that cares. No one that will look for me in the event of my death and it made me keep quiet. No longer did I feel like fighting my fate or even thinking about screaming out for help. I realize that no one cares about me and it makes me feel tired. Weak. Pathetic.
I’m not even in the mood to fight escaping, so there’s no way that I’m strong enough to beat him. My eye still stings from when he slapped me around the face or maybe even punched me? I’ve never been hit before in my life. The blow took me by surprise and made me regret the last three years of my life.
I’d been living this fantasy, working so hard and using every penny to come close to Marco and now I’d seen that I was no better than Marco or even Steven. I’ve been a fool to think that I’m anything but a girl trying to play with the sharks. I didn’t even attempt to try and see, let alone speak. I sit in the chair waiting for something to happen. Anything, because I’ve lost total control and I don’t even want it back anymore. Not when my fate is no longer in my hands. I’ve given it to him on a silver platter, and I know he’ll happily take it from me and never give it back.
I smell something so bad in the room. I don’t even realize I am sitting in my piss until it is too late. I haven’t wet myself since I was around three years old or maybe once or twice after then. I am sitting down, and I can’t move. Not only because my body is so stiff, but the stench of the smell is making me cry.
It made me feel so small as if I were a child once more. Something I haven’t felt in such a long time has come back to haunt me. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about my situation. I think that I might scream out of embarrassment for making such a mess, yet silence becomes my friend even after I feel the blindfold being removed from my eyes and even as the gag is taken away from my mouth. I sit here as if I want to be punished for what I put myself through the last few years.
I don’t deserve to go to college because so far, I’ve been acting like a kid. One that doesn’t know any better and thought that she could play a game. One where I don’t know the rules and will suffer for trying to win big time.
He starts to move me; I’m so weak that I can’t even open my eyes once the blindfold has been removed. He slowly strips me of the dress and then plunges me into the water. I try to focus, but as I open my eyes, I’m greeted with darkness. There’s a light, but it’s from outside the bathroom.
I gasp for air as I feel myself sinking in the tub. There are no bubbles just plain water. I wonder why he’s bothering to take care of me if he’s thinking about killing me.
Maybe there’s still hope.
Time.
And he’s had orders that he should take care of me, then again if he had that, then he wouldn’t have tied me up in the first place. I blink a couple of times as I freely stretch my arms in the bath. No longer do I smell my urine, but only the freedom of going around the tub. I stand up and feel a towel around my body, and that’s when I smell the strawberry scent. Maybe my nose was slightly blocked and immune to the scent.
I race to the lights and nearly trip in the process of doing so. I want to see if it’s David or if Marco’s come back and seen the circumstances in which I’ve been treated in, and he’s had a change of heart?
If that’s the case, then I know my feelings were right and I did get to him in more ways than one. Maybe I’ve been too hasty and need to speak to Hayley first and find out exactly what did happen in the past. Maybe that’s the root of the problem. I’ve been too hasty and jumped to conclusions, and I’m suffering, because of my stubbornness.
As darkness is my guide and I find the switch for the bathroom. My eyes sting so badly, and I find myself walking around as if I’m blind. Blinking my eyes and trying to get out of the bathroom. The light is so strong, and then I smell something in the room as I move inside it. There’s a tray and a table, with food as the scent sets waves of hunger inside my stomach and it starts to roar. I hadn’t felt hungry before now.
I want to know who was in the room earlier, but with the smell of my piss no longer existing in the room, I no longer care as I start to eat. I throw the lid onto the bed and use my hands to stuff the chicken and rice into my mouth.
I assume that its Marta’s cooking that is satisfying my hunger. I close my eyes as I continue to stand in the towel and put the food in my mouth. This could be my last supper, and with the bottle of water, that’s next to it. I pick it up and take a few sips before moving to the bed and making a mess. The more I eat, the hungrier I feel, and the only sounds echoing through the room is the sound of me eating. The same way that I did in front of Marco. Or even worse.
&nb
sp; 21
Marco
“Dad.” I sigh as I enter the living room and he’s sitting by the fire next to Mom. Not that it’s cold this time of year in NY. But I know that sitting by the fire gives him a sense of superiority which is important to someone like him.
He always has to feel as if he’s above everyone including his wife. I can tell that she looks frail as she weakly smiles at me. Then she walks slowly to my side.
“Mom,” I whisper as I kiss her on the cheek.
“You look too thin. Are you eating?”
I raise an eyebrow at her question. Her eyes dart back to Dad and then she nods as she walks back to his side. It’s as if he’s sitting on a throne and she needs to be by his side. He doesn’t even look up at me.
Mom whispers, “We’re waiting on Valentino. He’ll be here soon. He was just a couple of blocks from here.”
I’m still fighting the hangover from last night. I don’t even know how I made it to the hotel suite. I was drinking one too many shots, and I could have come to the family penthouse. But there are one too many memories here. One of them is exactly the place that I was at the time I was told Silvia had been killed. That was when I went into a frenzy, and I had a crazy notion that if I never came back here, then I’ll never have to face the demon I became that night when I went on a killing spree.
Something that I ordered others to do, I decided to do myself. Dad told me to stand back and let him deal with it. The same way he’d indirectly told me to do on the video chat the other day.
I head to the bar at the side of the room, when he blurts out, “Haven’t you had enough to drink already?”
It was as if he had ears and eyes in every spot. He must have known about last night. I ignore him as I pull out his favorite bourbon and start to pour. I can feel his eyes on me, and he’s probably waiting for me to offer him a shot. This isn’t a social call; I came to an end this. Not to talk about my newly formed drinking habits.
That’s when Valentino walks into the room. He may be short, stocky and a few years younger than me, but he’d aged dramatically in such a short space of time as I watched his balding head approached me. Something I’d never noticed before on the video chat, but then I wasn’t observing his physical appearance, not like now.
“Well, well the prodigal son returns. How are you doing, Marco?” He smiles as he comes over to me and gives me a fake hug. He’s probably annoyed about my presence. Not only because of his wife, but Dad handed the business to him after I handed in my early retirement card.
I wonder if he’s slightly nervous about the idea of me coming back and taking over. A thing that’s the furthest from my mind.
“Valentino,” I say as I finish my shot and quickly pour another one. I need to have a clear head for this conversation, but judging by the cold stare of Dad and the nervous twitching of Valentino something’s gone down. Then Rick appears in the room, and it confirms for me that they’ve decided the next steps and the only reason that I’m here is not to form part of the decision committee, but to be advised about the next steps.
“Rick.”
He nods as confirmation of his appearance as he sits down and Dad nods in his direction. As if on cue, Mom decides to leave the room. She always did that whenever discussions took place. It was as if she had the mentality out of sight, then out of mind. I watch as she slides out of the room, but she’s limping, and I want to ask her if he’s hit her again. Something my dad does from time-to-time and I’ve never understood why Mom stays around and tolerates it. He treats her as if she’s his queen one minute and a piece of dirt the next. She’s told me that she stays out of loyalty, but that’s never made any sense to me because he’s far from loyal to her.
“This isn’t a fucking reunion,” Dad says as he stands up and starts to take the lead of the conversation.
This means that we all need to sit and listen to him like a Principal in talking to children in a classroom. He wants our attention, and I gave it to him without sitting down and pretending to be one of his disciples.
“Steven’s been killed, and we need to make sure that none of this comes back to us.”
“What about his family?” I spit out as I start to pour another shot. I realized this could be part of the reason why our leads always led to a dead end. Dad had told me to sort out Steven, but he’d already been one step ahead of me and had done that himself. Just as I suspected he would.
“Well, you have his daughter. What do you plan to do with her?”
He ignores my question as Rick’s eyes avoid mine. That’s why he had the video chat. All the shit about he’ll give me the chance to sort it out was all bullshit, and I should have known better than to trust his word. It was always good for shit. I quickly finish my shot with only one thing on my mind, getting the fuck out of here. “What about her?”
He coughs. “You fucking shit on me and you ask what about her? First of all, your mom and I were attacked last night while you were drinking your sorrows away and thinking about your cock and not your fucking head. You said that you were retiring, but your shit keeps coming back to haunt us. Like that fucking construction that you’ve got us involved in…”
I didn’t give him a chance to finish talking as I blurt out, “I haven’t got you involved. I’m just doing what’s right.”
He barks, “What’s fucking right? What do you think that means, Marco? I don’t fucking understand you. I don’t think that I ever will. Your poor mother’s been...”
“Hit by someone who isn’t fucking you!”
Valentino steps in at the rage that’s drawing Dad and I closer together. “Can we just settle down! We came here to talk about Leah. She’s the only one standing in our way.”
I shake my head. “What about his wife and daughter?”
Rick answers, “Well, they’ve been paid off. They needed money because they were living hand to mouth. We don’t need to worry about them. Ever.”
Maybe I’m not the only one growing soft. Before, Dad would have made sure that they were all dead. He would never pay them off. I wonder what changed his mind; I decide that in the grand scheme of things, that it’s not important. The best part is that Steven’s dead. Am I upset about it? No.
Surprised? Not really.
“We just need to know that you’ll take care of Leah. Right?”
Valentino’s question is directed toward Dad, and he only nods his head and turns back to his chair. The one that he loves to sit on as if he’s on the throne of the castle.
My eyes cut to Rick. I thought that he was working for me, but I can see that his loyalty lies with Dad.
He’s about to say something, but then I stand in front of Dad who’s now sitting down. I can see that he’s tired, just the same way that Mom was when she was in the room. “Leave her to me.”
He points. “You sure that you can take care of her?”
I nod, and then I hesitate as I’m about to walk out. I need to get the fuck out of here; it’s fucking poison as Valentino takes over from going to the bar and pouring himself a drink before offering it to the room as if he’s at a party. But there’s no celebration, and I don’t feel like drinking with them anymore. I could stay, find out how they’re doing, but I don’t give a fuck anymore.
Being in this house is building up a headache. One I don’t need right now. Especially as I stand and look at my mom.
She comes back in the room with a limp, and I feel sick to my stomach. I can see that I’ve done a lot more damage than I’d intended by bringing Steven into our lives. I hate myself for it, but as I take a last look at Dad, I figure out that I hate him even more.
22
Marco
As I head to the elevator, Rick chases after me.
“Marco wait up,” he’s rasping as he starts to cough and I’m not even walking that fast. Too many years of smoking heavily are obviously catching up with him.
I turn around and see his yellow-stained teeth. “What?”
He lifts up his hands
as he tries to catch his breath. Then he bends backward.
I walk slowly to the elevator and press the button. “Walk with me,” I say as the doors open and then I step inside.
He sighs as if he’s relieved that I invited him into the elevator.
He steps in and as the door closes. I see both my parents standing next to each other staring into the elevator. I know for sure that this will be the last time that I’ll come to the penthouse. I won’t be allowed back in, but then again I don’t want to come back here. Not with the anxiety that’s between us. Something that’ll never go away, not after they’ve been attacked and not after they discover that I’m going to do exactly the opposite of what they expect me to do.
“Let’s go to a bar and have a drink,” I say to Rick. I’m not asking him. I’m telling him what to do.
He nods because we both know that Dad has cameras everywhere. Even in the fucking elevator.
As the doors open, I walk outside and feel a sense of relief. No longer do I feel as if I’m trapped in a cage. It’s as if Steven’s death has opened the door for me. One to finally be free of my family. I thought it happened the day that Silvia died, but with my parents looking into the elevator. It’s been on my mind that maybe getting out of the business isn’t enough anymore. I tried and failed miserably. There may be other Steven’s or other guys after my neck and will use my family as a means to get back at me.
“The usual place?” Rick asks once we get outside.
All I can do is nod my head wondering how David’s getting along with Leah. He sent me a message earlier saying that she tried to escape. That was exactly what I’d predicted she’d try and do. There’s no way she would just sit tight and stay on the island especially seeing as I’m not around, even if I was around, I doubt it would have made a difference.