by K. J. Dahlen
Either way, I knew that he was taking care of the situation. The same way that I was supposed to do with Steven. Even though I know it is out of my hands, I hate the way he is always one step ahead of me. Not anymore, I am going to figure out a way to solve it, without Rick’s help.
“I just want you to know that I didn’t go behind your back and start working for your dad.”
I point to a booth.
He nods and says, “I’ll get the drinks.”
He wanted to talk, and I never expected him to come in and start begging for forgiveness. I’ve known him too long, and he’s held my respect for too long to lose it. Maybe they’re all right, and they decided to go ahead with sorting out what to do with Steven because it was the right thing to do.
I don’t fucking care.
I did maybe for a bit, but now it’s a relief knowing that he’s one less thing to worry about and that I can get on with my life. For once, instead of living in the shadow of Silvia, Steven and my family.
He comes over with a couple of beers.
I take the bottle from him and hesitate for a minute. I had one too many shots last night. This morning at the penthouse some more and now a bottle of beer. I’ll make sure that it’s the only one because right now, I don’t want to be intoxicated especially when I haven’t figured out what I’m going to do with Leah. That part I’m still working out because it could mean the end of my working relationship with David, if I don’t do exactly what he thinks I’m going to do which is to get rid of her.
Another stain on my hand.
More blood.
It’s a fucking merry-go-round as I think that maybe I’m fucking kidding myself and the only way to deal with it is to spill blood on my hands.
“Fuck!” I say as I knock back the beer and wish that I hadn’t drunk it so quickly. What the fuck is wrong with me? I’m losing control, and I don’t know how to make it right again.
“When did it all go wrong? I’m not fucking angry with you going to Dad. Fuck, I needed it. I don’t know whether I’m coming or going at the moment.”
Rick sighs. “I could tell. You’ve been stressed. Fuck in the last ten years I don’t think that I’ve ever seen you in the same suit. Not ever. This weekend I haven’t seen you change once.”
I chuckle. “People have been killed. A woman should be killed, and the only thing you can talk about is my suit.”
He sighs as he waves to the waiter and not only does he order more drinks, but a little food too. I want to tell him that I need to go, but I can feel my head spinning, and I know for a fact that I do need something to eat. “You’ve read my mind.”
He laughs. “And your fucking cock. If you were—” He stops and then looks from side-to-side to make sure that no one’s listening to our conversation. It’s the type of bar that people come to, to get away from things. It’s popular with the locals and even more so with the tourists who get a flavor of NY when they enter. New and old photos mixed and the sense of history that the owner loves to post on the walls.
Maybe that’s why I used to come in here with Rick. It made me feel as if I was part of the history, especially with the photos of the famous mobsters. When I was young, naive and stupid, I used to wish my photo hung among the rest of them. Now, I felt sick to my stomach thinking about such things. I couldn’t think of anything worse than being part of a life which involves nothing but killing.
The waiter brought our hamburgers. The typical traditional heart attacks on a plate. Burgers too big and fries too thick. I tucked in thinking that it’s the first meal since I’ve had since I’ve been here and most likely the last.
“Damn! You were hungry. I’ve never seen you eat so fast.” Rick laughs.
Memories of Leah eating like a little pig enter my head. I take a deep breath and say, “Give it to me. What’s on your mind?”
He attempts to pick up his burger and then puts it back down on the plate again.
I know he has something to say and I want him to spit it out.
“You’ve got two choices, and I think even then it’s one. You can get that girl and then disappear or just make her disappear. But I have a feeling that you won’t tell her to do it alone.”
I nod my head. “I’m fucking tired, Rick. Not only about the life. But just everything. I’ve been working on the deal for months. Fucking months. Helping the guys out thinking that things were going to change and I was going to do good for all the wrong that I’ve done.”
He keeps trying to eat and then each time I speak; he decides that he’s going to not take a bite of his burger, but say what I need to hear. “You’re not going to want to hear this, but from the moment you let Steven into your life, you were headed for trouble. The man would sell a dead man a coffin. He had no boundaries. He cheated on his wife. Every second he was double-crossing someone.” He pauses as he starts to devour his burger. “The guy was bad news from the word go, and you took him on board. He knew about you trying to turn things around, and he wanted to hurt you badly for cutting off the life. The mobster life. Did you think that you could pay him off and be done with him?”
I nod and then shake my head. “Fuck, I didn’t know. Still don’t know. I hadn’t spoken to him in a while.”
He ignores my statement and says, “The moment you decided to put things into your own hands, that’s when the shit hit the fan. Silvia died, and then you walked out on your family, it just doesn’t work. Remember Grucia, Rodriguez, Francesco…shit the list goes fucking on and on. Did you think that they wanted things to end up the way that they did? Didn’t you think that they wanted fucking out? But you can’t get out till…”
“You’re in a coffin.”
He points to me. “Exactly. You know the drill. Now, finish your burger, and I’ll help you as much as I can, but then after that, you’re on your own.”
“What are you going to do?” I ask partly out of guilt and a sense of relief that he’s not on my dad’s side, but on mine.
“Do you think that if you disappear, then I’m going to be able to stay around?”
I shake my head. “No.”
“Exactly, so not only are you going to disappear, but so am I.”
With his confirmation, I could have pretended I was sad about our departure and want to be a part of his life, the same way he’s been a part of mine until now. But I felt glad this would be our last supper together. No more, will we come here and talk about the good days. I was no longer the naive teenager who wanted his photo on the wall. I was a man that was done with my old life and for once, looking forward to the new one.
23
Leah
No longer do I feel like a prisoner as I wake up and see that the bedroom door’s open. I can’t live like this anymore. One minute I’m tied up and the next I’m being set free. I think that this is some kind of trap. I head to the bathroom and think that if I’m given the chance to leave I’ll do that and just forget about Marco. Forget this stupid plan I’ve been dreaming about for too long.
I decide to admit defeat. I’m not going to make it out alive even if I do tell him the truth. But that’s my only ticket out of this mess I’ve created and the reality of it has hit home.
I lie on the bed, occasionally going to the bathroom. I slip in and out of sleep and when I wake again then there’s a plate of food on the side of the bed. One time, I wonder if I’m being watched, because I don’t understand how the food magically appears when I wake up and then the tray disappears as I fall asleep again.
I’m used to working, scheming how to get Marco back and not lying down all day. Yet, it’s as if the tiredness of the years have taken over my body and all I can do is sleep. I don’t even feel as if I want to get up or even try and escape. Not after the last time. My eye’s still sore from when he hit me.
I hear a knock on the door. I smile at the irony of someone now knocking the door when someone’s been coming and out as they please.
“Yes.” I sigh as I sit up in the pajamas that I’ve bee
n provided, I’ve been made into a prisoner on this island.
The door slowly opens and I’m surprised to see Marco.
He looks older, yet younger at the same time. He’s wearing a white shirt that’s completely see-through and matching pants. It’s as if he’s dressed like a God. Coming to rescue me from this madness. He hasn’t got on shoes and his appearance completely takes me by surprise, because he’s not shaven and his hair seems slightly longer then when I last saw him.
How long has he been gone?
“Leah.” He smiles.
I don’t return the smile as he heads toward me. I cross my legs and sit on the bed.
“Can I sit?”
The irony of his question, brings a smile to my face. It’s crazy that I’m being held prisoner on his island and he’s asking me if he can sit down on his bed. The one that he paid for, even if this isn’t officially his room.
I sigh and nod as I wonder what game he’s playing.
Is he going to kill me with his bare hands?
Does he want me to believe that it’s all over and I can just go home?
So, many questions are on my mind right now and then he puts a cell in front of me.
“Leah I know who you are. Really are. I know that Steven’s your stepdad and this was probably a venture of your own or maybe you were working with him to do something. What? I haven’t figured out yet, but…it doesn’t matter. What matter is what happens from this moment onwards.”
My eyes dart across the room. He seems gentle. Calmer than he was before he left here. It makes me wonder what’s happened between that time. He knows that it has to do with Steven. I should tell him that he took everything from me. He made me the desperate woman that I am today and he’s brushing it off as if nothing matters.
My lips are sealed tight, I don’t have the energy to disagree with him or even tell him that he’s a monster. The man in front of me, is so far from a monster that he’s unrecognizable. I think back to when he took me shopping and remember how I felt at the time.
“Leah, I’m sorry about…”
I look at him, for the first time since he’s sat down and realize that he’s referring to my eye. The one that was a lesson for trying to escape. One that I’ll never forget in a hurry as long as I’m still breathing. Which I don’t know how long that’ll be. Maybe later tonight or in a few seconds.
“Anyway, I brought you a phone. I’m not sure if you have your old one. But if you want to make a call, to your mom, stepsister or anyone then you’re free to do so.” He steps away from the bed and continues talking, “Then afterwards you’re free to leave.”
“Just like that!” I spit out. I don’t know why I said it like that, but he’s had me here for how long and now says that I can leave. What’s changed?
“Just like that.” He sighs and then with his last words he starts to head out of the room. Just as quickly as he entered and I wonder if it’s all some game?
I don’t care, because I can find out what’s really going on. He knows everything about me. I thought that I did the same about him, now I’m not sure about anything. Including if somewhere in the midst of it all if my family’s really all right. As for leaving, that has to be some kind of sick joke. I don’t even have any clothes. All I have are these pjs and a phone. I take it in my hand and look at where he was sitting a few seconds ago. I never watched as he walked in, but there it is. Clothes. Jeans a shirt and a new pair of shoes.
I should feel relieved that Marco said I could go, but why do I have a feeling that something’s wrong. I pick up the iPhone that he left in the middle of the bed. I take a deep breath as I start to call first my sister, who doesn’t pick up and then my mom.
24
Leah
I don’t know what to think as Mom picks up the phone. She doesn’t sound depressed, if anything… her voice sounds happy. Something I haven’t heard her be in a long time.
“Mom,” I say as my heart stops racing wondering if maybe this is the wrong number.
“Leah, is that you?”
“Yes, yes. Are you okay?”
She laughs. “Far from okay. We’re in the Seychelles and then who knows where to next.”
I wonder if my ears are deceiving me and if she means it. Did she say that she’s on holiday?
“Mom, where are you? And where’s Hayley and Steven.”
Silence greets me on the other line, and I know that I need to make sense of it all. Marco came in here and acted as if nothing’s happened as if the last couple or few days were just one big nightmare. Now, mom’s acting as if she’s won the lottery.
“Leah, it’s me, Hayley. Mom just passed me the phone. She’s just about ready to jump into the pool.”
“Where are you?” I ask as I clear my throat, I wonder if maybe they’ve won the lottery and couldn’t get a hold of me because my cell’s not working.
“Leah, look there’s a guy that’s smiling at me. Holy Crap! He’s coming over, so I need to hang up the phone. I don’t want him to think that I’m too busy to talk.”
“Hayley, what about school? What about your dad?”
She giggles, which makes me think that the guy’s standing by her side. “I don’t know where Dad is, who cares? There was an envelope with some money and a message. Leah, I need to go now. Someone wants to talk to me.” She’s giggling like a little school kid.
“What about school? I mean this is your final year. Shouldn’t you be there?”
“God Leah, you sound like my mom if she was alive. Anyway, the envelope said something like ‘Life’s too short. Take the money and never come back. Receive it for every year you’re gone.’”
I slump onto the bed, thinking about the cryptic message that was left with the money. “How much money was it?”
She chokes, “A lot. But I need to go.”
“My cell’s not working so you can get me on this number,” I quickly offer her a way to get a hold of me. So, that we can talk later. Maybe when they’re not by the pool and they have time.
“Okay. But there’s a beach party tonight. So not sure. Maybe tomorrow or the day after. Anyway, catch you later, sis.” She giggles once again as she hangs up.
I close my eyes as I drop the phone on the bed. They never even tried to get a hold of me. I’ve been worrying about them for nothing, and they haven’t even thought about me. They say that money can’t buy love, but it seems to have bought my whole family.
I could have picked up the phone and called Olivia, but I want to tell her the truth. Tell her about my ridiculous plan and how I used her. I know that she’ll probably hate me more than she does already as a result of it. Her opinion means more to me now that the reality of my family hits home.
No one cares about me. The first time that someone has shown an act of kindness, I turn around to treat her the same way that my family has treating me. My stepsister wouldn’t care if I were dead or alive, neither could my mom.
I slowly move to the shower and get rid of everything related to my revenge. Including the tears that seemed to constantly stream down from my eyes and mixed with the water. I want out of here, but the reality that I have nowhere to go just made me feel even sadder.
As I think back to the way that Hayley and mom were talking to me. They hadn’t even tried to call me, and I knew that they wouldn’t bother to return my call. They didn’t need to anymore because they had money. That’s the part that makes the world go around, people like Marco can buy anything they want because they have it. People like me are slaves to them because I have none.
25
Marco
She walks downstairs and drags her feet into the kitchen as if she’s about to be sentenced on death row. I could pretend that I’m Mr. Nice guy and smile and tell her everything is going to be all right. But her fate depends on her decision, and I meant it when I said there are no strings attached, she can go if she wants and I have sorted out a package to make sure that she’s as comfortable as possible.
I don’t
want her to be caught up with my dad and even worse, end up dead. So, I made sure that Rick sorted a new ID for her so she could get on with her life.
As she approaches me, I reach out to hand it to her. “This is for you,” I say as I put it in her hand and then get a drink. Fuck! I’m so damn thirsty; the last few days have been fucking crazy. From spending it with Rick to trying to get a new ID for not only Leah, but myself too. I need to grow this damn beard to make sure that everything is in place from the moment that we leave.
“What is it?” she asks as she puts down the phone and then moves it from hand-to-hand.
I sigh. “Open it and see.” I pour a glass of juice, while I’m explaining it all to her. “It’s a new life. One that you can take from the moment you leave here.”
She laughs nervously. “Why do I need a new life?”
“Because you can’t go back to the old.” I pass her a glass of orange juice.
She grabs it with both hands and seems refreshed by drinking it.
So, I move next to her and pour her another glass. I do this three times before she says. “I just want to go back to the diner. I want to talk to my friend. I don’t know what’s happening, but I can see that Mom and Hayley having money has something to do with you. I want to know, but then again part of me doesn’t care. Why should I? After all, since I’ve been here they haven’t even bothered to get in touch, but if they didn’t have money then no doubt they’d be calling me as if there’s no tomorrow.”
I realize that it’s not enough to give her an envelope and send her on her way. She’s been here for over a week. She’s not the bright-eyed girl that walked through my door and into the limo. If anything, she’s the complete opposite. I wonder if David did more than just knock her out when she tried to escape?
“Did David hurt you?”
She shakes her head, her mouth opens and shuts as if she wants to say something else. “No, but can I have something to eat please?”