Everlasting Love

by Carole Mortimer

  'Of course not!'

  'Did Simon prove unsatisfactory?' he demanded harshly. 'What a pity! Well my invitation still stands.'

  Olivia swallowed hard, her hand self-consciously at her throat. 'What invitation?'

  'The one I just made for you to share my bed. Once you're here beside me I won't even be at a disadvantage.'

  'You've never been at a disadvantage, Marcus,' she snapped. 'Neither now or—' She broke off self-consciously.

  His expression was suddenly intent. 'Or?' he prompted softly.

  'You have a wonderful reputation as a surgeon,' she compromised. 'Simon has been singing your praises all evening.'

  'Indeed?' he drawled.

  'Oh yes. He—'

  'I'm not really interested in Simon, Olivia.'

  'He said he would call in and see you Thursday evening,' she finished determinedly.

  'I don't intend going anywhere!' he rasped.

  Olivia flushed. 'God, your self-pity infuriates me!'

  'Then leave,' he suggested coldly.

  'I can't—and you know damn well I can't.'

  'Do I?' he taunted.

  'Yes,' she said fiercely. 'And you won't force me into it either. You might try, might even threaten me sexually—'

  'What threat could a blind man be to you, sexually or otherwise?' Marcus taunted bitterly.

  Her hands clenched into fists at her sides. 'You really want to know?'

  'I wouldn't have asked otherwise,' he nodded.

  Olivia moved to the door, her hand going to the light switch, plunging the room into darkness with a movement of her finger.

  'What the—Did you just turn off the light?' Marcus demanded.

  'Yes. Ouch!' she cursed as she walked into something. 'Well, you might help me,' she told him crossly. 'I'm completely lost, you know.'

  'Then turn the light back on,' he said unconcernedly.

  'I can't, I don't know where it is!' She was fumbling about in the dark, trying to remember what furniture stood in her way of getting to Marcus's bed. She remembered the chair, but unfortunately she forgot the footstool in front of it and landed in an untidy heap on the floor.

  'Olivia!' Marcus cried his alarm at the sound of the heavy thump. 'What's happened?'

  'I fell over,' she grumbled, trying to extricate herself from the footstool her legs had become entangled with. 'Oh, damn!' she muttered at the mess she had made over this simple lesson in psychology, in showing him that he was right, once they were in bed together he would be at no disadvantage.

  'Olivia!' Firm hands grasped her arms' as Marcus helped her to her feet. 'Are you all right?'

  'Yes.' Her voice was husky at his proximity.

  'What were you trying to prove?'

  'I wasn't trying to prove anything,' she said crossly. 'I was just showing you that with the light out we're equal.'

  'I think all you did was show me that in the dark I have an advantage over you,' he jeered. 'I knew exactly where you were in this room, you didn't have the faintest idea.'

  'I still don't,' she muttered, her sanity returning. How far would she have been prepared to go to show Marcus that as a man he was still devastating? Her mind baulked from giving her an answer to that question.

  'Here,' he guided her slowly across the room, one of his hands moving up to switch on the light. 'Feel better now?' he mocked.

  She did, but she wasn't going to admit it. 'I'd better get to bed, it's late,' she said abruptly, very much aware of his near-nakedness.

  'My offer is still open,' he drawled. 'And you can even leave the light on. It's been too long, Olivia,' he added throatily. 'I need a woman.'

  If only he had phrased that differently, if only he had said it was her he needed! But he hadn't, and she felt her outrage was justified. 'How dare you!' she gasped. 'I'm your nurse, Mr Hamilton, nothing more.'

  'You save everything else for the doctor involved, hmm?' he rasped.

  She didn't even return that insult with an answer, quietly leaving the room. She heard him call her name as she closed the door, but she kept right on walking.

  Even if she had given in to the impulse to share his bed she wouldn't have been Olivia to him, she would just have been a woman's body he could lose himself in for a while. How she hated him for reducing her love for him to that level!

  If Olivia had expected that night-time visit to Marcus's room to have changed their relationship, for the best or for the worse, then she was wrong. Marcus seemed to have forgotten it, as cold and bitter as usual the next day, again refusing to accompany her down to the garden, in fact he still refused to leave his room at all.

  'You're behaving like a child,' she snapped.

  'I feel like one! I feel as if Sally is the responsible parent and I'm the child to be led about by the hand.' He turned away, a pulse beating erratically in his jaw. 'Do you have any idea what that can do to a man?'

  'Oh, Marcus—'

  'Get out of here!' he ordered through gritted teeth, his back turned towards her.

  'Marcus—'

  'Don't you understand, I need to be alone!' He wrenched his arm away from the hand she had put out to comfort him. 'Go down to the garden and keep Jasper company.'

  She could sense his near-desperation, knew his real need to be alone. Most of her patients had times like these, and she respected Marcus's request as she would have done theirs, doing as he asked and going down to the garden.

  The Labrador greeted her eagerly, and once again she spent the time playing with him. At five years old the dog had a lot of energy to use up, and Olivia was the one to drop down with exhaustion, deciding the quiet relaxation of reading Marcus the newspaper was what was called for now.

  In fact they fell into an uneasy routine the next few days, uneasy because Marcus's mood was still explosive, his anger with the restrictions his blindness put on him seeming to increase by the day, coming to the point where she daren't even talk about it.

  Consequently she hadn't been able to mention Jason Fitzgerald's visit to him; she hadn't been able to find the right moment. By Thursday afternoon she was getting desperate, knowing that Simon was depending on her. Sally had high hopes from the specialist's visit too. Olivia had tried to prepare the girl for the worst, but Sally remained optimistic. It was a feeling that was infectious, and it finally gave Olivia the courage to approach Marcus with the idea of going to the hospital the next day.

  She finished the daily routine of reading the newspaper to him, lingering when she should have been going to get their tea.

  'Well?' he barked, sensing her hesitation.

  Olivia took a few seconds to study him, knowing it was increasing his impatience with her. But this last week Marcus had lost most of his unhealthy pallor, his increased appetite and the fresh air he got from the open window giving him a more healthy look. There was a leashed energy about his movements too now, and she knew that physically he would soon be beyond her care. What would happen to him then? She knew he enjoyed their verbal sparring, knew it by the light of challenge in his eyes as he shouted and raged at her, and if she were honest she knew she would miss their arguments too. She would miss Marcus…

  Her love for him had increased the last few days, telling her that it had never really died, that it had only been buried beneath her disillusionment and pain at the callous way he had dropped her to return to his wife. If he hadn't gone back to Ruth—But he had, and he didn't even remember her now!

  'Marcus, what do you know of Jason Fitzgerald?' If she had learnt one thing about him the last few days it was that he would accept only complete honesty, couldn't abide pretence of any kind.

  He had stiffened at the mention of the specialist's name, paling slightly. 'What should I know?' he asked warily.

  'Marcus—'

  'What should I know, Olivia?' He stood up forcefully.

  'Simon—'

  'No!' Marcus rasped, glaring down at her, his expression fierce. 'I won't have the two of you plotting behind my back—'

  '
You're becoming paranoid!'

  'Am I? Am I really?' he scorned. 'Do you deny that you and Simon have decided between the two of you that I should see Fitzgerald—without even consulting me?'

  'Well, I—'

  'Treating me like I'm a damned mental cabbage,' he muttered grimly, his face tense. 'The accident didn't affect my brain, Olivia, only my sight. You had no right to make such a decision for me!'

  'But if we had asked you—'

  'I would have said no,' he bit out predictably. 'As I am now.'

  Olivia gasped at his implacability. 'But he's coming all the way from America just to see you!'

  'Then he's had a wasted journey.' Marcus's mouth was twisted with bitterness. 'Because I have no intention of seeing him, either now or in the future!'

  Her expression became pleading. 'Marcus—'

  'The answer is no, Olivia,' he told her through gritted teeth.

  'If you won't see him for your own sake then think of Sally,' she told him angrily. 'She's depending on this examination.'

  Angry colour darkened his cheeks. 'You had no right to raise her hopes before asking me!'

  'I had confidence in your intelligence—'

  'Then you shouldn't have done! I won't see Fitzgerald or anyone else.' He turned away from her, his back rigid with .tension.

  'Marcus, listen to me!' She put her hand on his arm, and felt the way he flinched at her touch. Her hand slowly dropped back to her side. 'I know, you're frightened, but—'

  'Frightened?' His savagery as he spun round made her shrink back. 'I'm not frightened, I'm just sick of idiots like you telling me what's best for me. What do you know about being blind? What do you know of my feelings?' His hands were clenched into fists, almost as if he would like to strike her. 'You know nothing! And I want you out of my house, tonight, do you hear?'

  'I hear,' she confirmed dully.

  'Then make sure you leave.' He turned away again. 'Tonight,' he repeated coldly. 'And tell Simon I won't see Fitzgerald. Or any other specialists he cares to consult.'

  'Jason Fitzgerald is the best there is, and you know it,' she choked.

  Marcus didn't even answer her, and Olivia had no choice but to leave the room, leaning weakly back against the door. Marcus had meant it, he definitely wanted her out of his house. And she didn't want to go, she couldn't leave him, not when she loved him so much.

  CHAPTER SIX

  'Whew!' Sally ran up the remainder of the stairs she had been ascending as Olivia came out of Marcus's bedroom. 'Dad's in fine voice today,' she grimaced.

  Olivia schooled her features into cool calmness, unwilling to let Sally see just how upset she had been by this last argument with Marcus. 'I didn't see you there,' she smiled. 'And yes, your father is in a fighting mood.'

  Sally gave another grimace. 'He didn't like the idea of seeing Mr Fitzgerald, I take it?'

  'No.' Olivia searched the younger girl's face, trying to ascertain just how much of the heated conversation she had actually heard. She didn't look too disturbed, so she probably hadn't heard much at all. 'In fact, he's refused to do so.'

  'I thought as much,' Sally sighed. 'I couldn't hear what was being said, just the raised voices. I'll talk to him.'

  'I shouldn't.' Olivia stopped the other girl with her hand on the door-handle, lowering her voice, remembering that Marcus could hear them through the closed door. 'Not yet anyway,' she soothed at Sally's frown. 'Give him a little time to think it over. Why not go down and ask Miss Podmore for some tea, and then talk to him when you take it in to him?' Perhaps by that time Marcus would have calmed down. Although she doubted it; he had seemed adamant in his decision. But she would leave it to him to tell Sally he had ordered her to leave, he couldn't evade the responsibility for his actions.

  'Okay,' Sally agreed eagerly to her suggestion.

  During the other girl's absence in the kitchen Olivia telephoned Simon at the hospital and told him exactly what had happened.

  'Never mind,' he comforted. 'I'll talk to him myself this evening. I'll make it early, then he can have the rest of the evening to think about it.'

  'There's something else.' She chewed worriedly on her bottom lip. 'He's told me to leave, and this time I think he meant it.'

  'Hm,' Simon sighed. 'Well, don't do anything about it yet. Stay away from him and give him a chance to calm down.'

  'And if he doesn't change his mind?'

  'He will. He has to,' Simon added firmly. 'You're the best thing to happen to him. He has to be intelligent enough to realise that.'

  Marcus gave no evidence of backing down from his decision, and when the time came for his early evening medication Olivia instructed Sally what to give him. Sally had told her that her father was still determined not to see Jason Fitzgerald, although he was calmer about it now. The last thing he needed was for Olivia to put in an appearance and upset him again!

  And so she stayed away from him, his lack of curiosity as to her whereabouts telling her that he had assumed she had already left his house and his employ. She knew that she was being blamed unfairly for something that could, in the end, be Marcus's salvation, but he was in no mood to understand that right now. As far as Marcus was concerned she and Simon had deceived him, and that was unforgivable.

  Simon arrived at seven-thirty, very handsome in a dark suit and light blue shirt. Olivia took him through to the lounge, all the time conscious of Sybil Carr's speculative looks as she and Sally had a pre-dinner drink.

  'I may as well go straight up and see Marcus,'

  Simon said briskly after polite greetings had been made. 'I think I know what's involved.'

  'Good luck!' Olivia grimaced.

  'I think I'll probably need it,' he nodded ruefully.

  'I've had no joy with him at all,' Sally told Olivia once the young surgeon had gone upstairs. 'He refuses to even talk about it. In fact,' she frowned, 'he isn't talking much at all.'

  'Because he knows a specialist is unnecessary,' Sybil put in coldly. 'Or a nurse either, for that matter.' Her gaze passed insultingly over Olivia. 'He just needs to be left alone.'

  'To do… what?' Olivia challenged. The other woman's manner angered her.

  'Why, to get well again, of course,' Sybil derided.

  'And just how is he going to do that without professional help?' she snapped.

  'Your sort of professional help he doesn't need!'

  'Grandmother!' Sally gasped her surprise at the insult.

  'If you'll both excuse me I think I'll go and finish getting ready for my dinner date,' Olivia said coldly. 'I wouldn't want to keep Simon waiting,' she taunted the older woman.

  The blue eyes hardened questioningly. 'You're going out with Mr Brooks?'

  'Yes,' she replied haughtily, 'I am. And I don't want to delay our leaving.' She swept out of the room.

  Sybil Carr really was the most bitchily insulting woman she had ever met! Her innuendoes and insults made an already difficult job almost impossible. If it weren't for the fact that Olivia genuinely believed she was doing Marcus some good as his nurse she would leave here tonight and never come back. She might have to do that anyway if Marcus didn't change his mind. Despite what she had told him when she first came here, she couldn't stay against his will.

  She was waiting downstairs in the small sitting-room when Simon came back downstairs half an hour later, standing up at his entrance, tall and slender in an emerald-coloured dress that reached just below her knees, her hair a fluffy red-gold cloud about her shoulders.

  Simon's eyes darkened appreciatively, the strain he had been under while with Marcus leaving him as he smiled warmly at her. 'You look beautiful,' he told her huskily, bending down to kiss her lightly on the lips.

  She was a little taken aback at the intimacy, especially as it had been uninvited. But she returned the light gesture, feeling in need of a little affection herself after being at the brunt of Marcus's caustic tongue this past week.

  'Olivia, I—Oh!' Sally came to an abrupt halt in the doorway, a hi
gh flush to her cheeks. 'I didn't mean to—to interrupt,' she stumbled over her words in her embarrassment.

  'You didn't.' Simon turned, his arm still about Olivia's shoulders. 'We've both had run-ins with your father today, and we were just comforting each other.' He made light of what had, after all, been only a platonic kiss, no passion existing on either side.

  Sally grinned mischievously. 'I had one too, so do I merit a kiss?' She raised one dark brow questioningly.

  Olivia could sense Simon's indecision, then he shrugged, his arm falling away from her shoulders as he moved to kiss Sally on the lips. 'Okay?' he murmured softly.

  'Er—yes.' For a moment Sally looked disconcerted, and then she bounced back with her usual good humour. 'My first grown-up kiss!' she mocked Simon's first hesitation.

  He laughed at the taunt. 'You'll get more than you bargained for if you don't behave yourself,' he threatened softly.

  She gave him an impudent grin. 'Just say the word…!' She turned to Olivia. 'I wanted to apologise for my grandmother's behaviour. She's been acting very strangely since Daddy's accident,' she frowned.

  'She's been under a lot of strain, Sally,' she dismissed with more sincerity than she felt. 'I don't take any notice of her barbs.'

  'Well, if you're sure…?'

  'I am,' she smiled, not wanting to upset Sally. 'Now go and have your dinner before it gets cold.'

  'What was all that about?' Simon asked as he drove them to the restaurant.

  'Nothing important,' she shrugged. 'Mrs Carr doesn't particularly like me in the house. But then she wouldn't like any nurse there.' She wasn't sure that was the truth; Sybil Carr's insults were highly personal for the main part. 'She doesn't think Marcus needs one.'

  Simon frowned. 'I don't remember Anna having any trouble with her.'

  'Then maybe it's just me she doesn't like,' Olivia dismissed lightly. 'I'm not worried about it, so I don't think anyone else should be either.'

  'If you say so,' but he didn't sound convinced.

  'How did you get on with Marcus?' She decided it would be best to change the subject.