After our amazing lunch, Beck drove us across the Coronado Bridge. The view of the ocean was breathtaking. It was even bluer than I imagined, and the boats and naval carriers docked in it added to its beauty.
Beck parked near the ferry landing and my sisters and I ran to the shore and dipped our toes into the sand. I felt like such a dork, but for a small-town sheltered girl like me, the warmth of the sand, the cool breeze blowing on my face, and the chill of the ocean meant the world to me. I wanted to live in this moment forever.
Beck strapped Sky on his chest and took my hand. “What do you think? Is it everything you thought it would be?”
“Yes, it is. And more. I can’t believe I’m here, with my sisters, with you, with Sky.” Tears welled in my eyes. “I’m just so happy.”
He placed his arm on the back of my head and kissed me passionately. “I want to make you happy. Before I met you, the only reason I wanted to live was for Sky and for my job. I had become so angry, so bitter about losing Catherine. But seeing the world through your eyes has completely changed me. I need you, Loma, and you need me too.”
I didn’t get a chance to respond before the girls joined us and we began to build sand castles. Ana María giggled, and Mónica was checking out the boys on the beach.
Life couldn’t get better than today.
20
Energy Bar
The next morning, I woke up early and headed to the Naval Air Station North Island to prepare for the flyover. It was an easy Delta formation—all six planes would fly in a tight triangle over the Change of Command ceremony for the Commander of the Naval Air Forces. It was good practice—our first air show was two months away.
I had only two months left with Paloma.
We spent last night at my buddy Grant’s place. Grant was a Navy SEAL. I had deployed with his Team once and supported them in a combat mission. Though they were on the ground doing the dirty work, my life had also been at risk. Our planes could be shot down at any time. What if I died overseas on my next deployment and orphaned Sky?
I pushed that thought out of my head. I quickly snacked on an energy bar to give me the fuel I needed to fly.
Sawyer and Declan greeted me with fist pumps. Charlie, on the other hand, gave me a curt nod. We had not really talked since I’d punched him. Which was fine by me.
Sawyer addled up beside me. “What are you doing tonight? Do you want to hit the clubs downtown?”
I shook my head. “Going to dinner with Paloma. Don’t you get tired of that scene? A different woman every night?”
Declan’s eyes bulged. “Seriously? Are you guys together?”
I nodded. “Yup. It’s new, but I’m crazy about her.”
Declan placed his arm on my shoulder. “Congrats, man. She’s beautiful. As long as you’re happy.”
I appreciated Declan’s support. He was a great guy. I hoped he found someone to help him get over his ex.
Even Sawyer seemed happy for me. “Me too, Beck. She seems sweet.”
“She is.” Now that I had told three of my fellow pilots about Paloma I was tempted to tell the world. Shout it from the rooftops.
There was only one person I dreaded telling.
My mother.
We were not close by any stretch of the imagination. Even so, I always craved her approval. She had loved Catherine. And Paloma was so different from my wife. All my mom cared about was her image and status. She loved to boast to people that she had a Blue Angel as a son. And I highly doubted she would embrace the nanny with open arms.
But I wouldn’t live my life to make my mom happy. I wanted to be happy. I wanted Sky to be happy. And that was all that mattered.
My fellow pilots and I proceeded to walk in unison to our planes. The crowds cheered but it was nothing like the roar of the normal air shows. I had asked Grant to take Paloma and the girls to the beach to watch me fly. Knowing that she would see me soar, filled me with pride.
Our planes took off, and adrenaline consumed me. I focused on the paint on Sawyer's jet, making sure I was perfectly aligned and in formation. We soared into the air and took a right turn toward the Naval Base Coronado. A quick flyby over the ceremony and then we headed west toward the ocean before landing back at North Island. Piece of cake. All in another day’s work.
When I disembarked from my plane, I marveled at how beautiful San Diego was. I had so much fun yesterday at the zoo. San Diego would be the perfect place to raise Sky and enjoy all the attractions here. We could take her to Balboa Park, Legoland, all the beaches, all the gardens, and the weather would always be perfect.
And Paloma would be here.
The more I thought about it, the more I was certain I was going to put in my orders for San Diego.
And that way—I could stay with Paloma.
21
Spaghetti
Our weekend in San Diego had been glorious. I was more determined than ever to move there.
But now, I was wondering how I would live without Beck and Sky.
I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. What if he asked me to move to Pensacola with him? It wasn’t out of the realm of possibilities since he still needed a nanny. But even if he asked, I wasn’t sure I’d say yes.
I was crazy about him. Did I love him? I thought I did, but I wasn’t sure yet. Even so, I didn’t want to be a nanny forever.
Since we returned from San Diego, we had been busy with school and flying. And luckily I hadn’t heard from my mother or my uncle.
I had just cooked a huge batch of spaghetti and meatballs, using fresh tomatoes for the sauce and both pork and beef for the meat mixture.
Beck couldn’t stop raving about it and even had seconds.
But Mónica hadn’t touched her food. She was pushing it around her plate with her fork.
I knew something was wrong.
I sat down next to her. “Are you okay?”
“Yup. Fine.”
But she wasn’t fine. I could tell.
By now, Beck was sitting down on the sofa, looking at his phone. I noticed that Mónica was staring at him and biting her lip. What was she up to?
After a few more minutes, she finally got up from the table and sat down next to Beck, a worried look on her face.
“Beck, can I ask you a question?”
Ay, Dios mío! No! Suddenly I knew exactly what she was going to do. Something I had done six years ago when I had been her age.
My heart hurt.
She was going to ask him to the daddy/daughter dance.
Don’t do it!
“Sure. Anything.”
Dammit. I couldn’t watch. This was a fucking train wreck.
Beck was a great man, but he was under no obligation to take my sisters to the daddy/daughter dance. I didn’t want him to feel pressured.
“Uh, well next week there is this dance, the father/daughter dance. I know you’re not my father. But, I was wondering if you would take me and Ana María to it. If not, no worries. I understand.”
My eyes watered up, and I craned my neck like one of the goddamn people who stop to watch an accident.
Please, Beck. Please say yes.
The room went silent. I tried to read Beck’s face but I couldn’t.
He took Mónica’s hand. “I’d be honored.”
Yes! I wanted to run over there and jump on him.
Mónica’s face brightened. “Really? You wouldn’t mind?”
“Not at all. There’s one catch though.”
Oh great. What? Was he flying that day? I knew he couldn’t switch his schedule. I understood that but would the girls?
“Oh, what?”
He grabbed his keys. “We need to get you both dresses.”
God, could I love this man anymore?
Mónica jumped up and squealed. She ran into the other room and grabbed Ana María.
I ran over to Beck, sat on his lap, and kissed him, for once not shy at all if my sisters saw us. “I can’t believe you did that. You don’t know what th
is means to me. What it means to them.” I paused. I had been unable to know my feelings about him until now. But they were finally clear. “I love you.”
Beck cupped my head in his hands and kissed me. “Te amo.”
He loved me, too? In Spanish no less? I couldn’t believe this was my life right now. I was in love with a totally hot, accomplished, educated, classy pilot who was a wonderful father and loved my sisters. And he had just said he loved me too. This was really happening to me.
Ana María ran out. “You’re going to take us shopping? Can I get a pink dress?”
“Yup, let’s go.”
I wanted the girls to bond to Beck without me hanging around. “I’ll stay back here with Sky if you don't mind.”
The second they left, I burst into tears. I was so happy for my sisters. I had remembered seeing those fliers in school, ripping them up, shame burning my cheeks. Sometimes the mean girls would taunt me. “Paloma isn’t going to go to the dance because she doesn’t even know who her father is.” I would never engage with those girls, but secretly I was devastated. Even worse, they were right.
I didn’t even know my father’s name.
Abuela had talked about him only once. She said that Mama had snuck out of the house repeatedly and then became pregnant. Mama had never uttered his name, and my birth certificate said unknown where my father’s name should’ve been. My only connection to him was my green eyes.
The not knowing his identity was the worst part. Maybe he wanted me. Maybe he had looked for me. Or maybe he didn't even know I existed. When I had been Ana María's age, I had dreamt that he would find me and whisk me away from my mother. But after the weeks turned into years, I had given up any hope of ever knowing the identity of my sperm donor.
A few hours later, the girls returned. Mónica had chosen a long purple dress, and Ana María picked a sparkly pink princess dress and matching shoes.
I helped the girls get ready for bed and returned to find Beck sitting on the sofa. I felt breathless and my body throbbed for him.
I no longer wanted to wait. I wanted him to make love to me.
I wrapped my arms around him, and we kissed passionately. Desire radiated between us.
And I didn’t need to say another word. Beck threw me over his back and carried me to his bed.
22
Cherries and Pineapples
I carried her into the bedroom and threw her on the bed. Her face broke into a nervous laugh. We’d been messing around since I’d first kissed her in my truck, but I had been hesitant to fuck her until she knew that I loved her. That I didn’t just want to fuck her. That I wanted to be with her. Right now. Forever.
And she had said she loved me too. And I didn’t see a reason to wait any longer.
I attacked her greedy little mouth, and she passionately kissed me back. With fire in her eyes, she met me kiss for kiss. We were complete opposites, but our bodies complemented each other perfectly. I was hard, she was soft, I was rough, she was delicate, I was dead inside, she was full of life.
She removed my shirt, and her hands gripped on my belt buckle. I was still busy kissing her mouth, her neck, her chest. I unbuttoned her dress and unhooked her bra. Her breasts were gorgeous. Plump and oval shaped. I buried my head in between her chest before I sucked on her nipples. They were like two perfect cherries, tart and sweet and red. I could stay here forever. I planned to.
Paloma had succeeded in removing my belt, and my pants dropped to the floor. I stood beside the bed, not sure what Paloma was about to do but not wanting to pressure her into anything. She was young, and though she had told me she wasn’t a virgin, I wasn’t sure how sexually experienced she was and what she felt comfortable with.
“Can I suck your cock?”
Whoa. Okay, that answered that question. Hearing her say cock rattled me. The excitement of Paloma’s dirty mouth made me even harder than it already was, which I didn’t even think was possible.
“Absolutely. And babe, you never have to ask that question. The answer will always be yes. Suck me, baby.”
Her eyes lit up, and she crawled over the bedspread until she was laying on her belly. Her hands reached around and grabbed my ass and then she wrapped her mouth around my cock.
I exhaled. Man, this was incredible. I placed my hand on the back of her neck and guided her rhythm. She hummed and flicked her tongue around it, giving me the most intense pleasure. Then she placed her hand on the base of my cock and used her fist to rub up and down while she kept her mouth on the head. Jesus. I was about to come, but I didn’t want to just yet. Not like this.
I wanted to taste her.
“Babe,” I urged her off. “Lay down.”
She bit her bottom lip. I climbed up on the bed and removed her panties. Her pussy was so fucking beautiful. Nicely trimmed in a triangle, dark and delicious. I kissed up on her thighs. I grasped her with both of my arms and placed my head in between her legs.
I gave one slow lick down her center, and she gasped.
The sight of her spread in front of me, her hair cascading over her nipples was almost too much to bear.
I devoured her pussy, and she tasted like the sweetest treat—like a sweet juicy pineapple. Two beautiful little lips. I licked her lips and rubbed my thumb over her clit. Her breath sputtered, and she began to moan. I increased my pace, loving every second of this. I could eat her forever. I was drunk on her scent. I could tell she was close, so close, so I reached up my other hand and rubbed her nipple causing her body to thrash.
She finally came all over my face, and I lapped up her nectar.
Now she was ready for me.
I reached over to grab a condom out my dresser, and I slowly rolled it over my length. I pressed my body slowly against hers, gripped my cock in my hand, and slowly entered her.
She gasped as I pressed further. She was so fucking tight. I was dying to get inside her. She gripped my ass. “Fuck me, Beck.”
Yes, ma’am.
I thrust deep and paused for a moment to stare into her eyes. I needed her to know that I loved her. That I never wanted to fuck another woman but her.
I grabbed her hips, shifted her forward, and cupped her breasts. Her pussy was clamping around my cock, catching and releasing it and I was already in ecstasy. She began to moan, and I rubbed her clit with my thumb, desperate for her to come again.
My cock throbbed, and I fucked her harder, deeper, faster. Her moans were coming more rapidly, so I sucked again on her incredible tits.
“I’m going to come again.”
That was my girl. I cradled her in my arms and kept the friction constant, so that we could move together as one. I knitted her hands with mine, covered her mouth with my lips, and kissed her through her orgasm. I could feel her explode under me and I finally let go into incredible bliss.
Our bodies were entangled in the sweat-drenched sheets.
I looked over at this beautiful woman and realized that I couldn’t live without her.
I cupped her face and asked her a question. “Babe, will you move with me to Florida?”
23
Chamango
“Are you serious?”
Excitement twisted with fear in my chest. He was not asking me to marry him, which of course I didn’t expect. He had just told me he loved me, and I wasn’t trying to rush things any more than they were already rushed. Even so, I needed to know where I stood.
“Dead serious. I love you, Loma.”
“I love you, too. But I want to go to San Diego. I don’t know if I can move across the country. I mean, I have to support the girls.”
“Don’t worry about money. I can take care of you and your sisters. Just come with me. I need you. Sky needs you.”
I needed them, too. “But what if this doesn’t work out? Then what?”
He pulled me into his arms. “It’s going to work out, baby. Trust me.”
I had never trusted anyone in my life but my abuela. If it didn’t work out, I would be stranded in Flori
da, with no job, and no money. I’d be completely dependent on him. No, I couldn’t do that. No matter how much I loved him.
I pulled away from him. “I’m not sure. I need to make my own money. I don’t feel comfortable with you supporting us.”
His face contorted. “Well, I could still pay you as Sky’s nanny.”
Though I was positive he meant that offer as a way to give me independence, it didn’t sit right with me.
We were sleeping with each other now. I didn’t want him to pay me.
I didn’t accept money for sex.
I wasn’t my mother.
I needed to think about this.
“I’m not sure. I don’t know what I want.”
He kissed me. “We don’t need to decide our future right now. Let’s just be happy. We love each other. I want to make you happy. I respect you. I’m not going to abandon you. Let’s just take this one day at a time.”
I kissed him back but inside my heart wrenched.
I did love him. And I believed him. But I couldn’t take this one day at a time. I had fought so hard to leave this town. I couldn’t become dependent on a man. I needed to find my own way.
“We have a few more weeks to decide. Let’s check in and see where we are at.”
His face grimaced. Clearly not satisfied with my answer. I didn’t think that Beck was used to hearing the word no.
Well, I may be poor, but I wasn’t pathetic. I would stand up for myself and my sisters. I just couldn’t put all my trust in a man.
I fell asleep in Beck’s arms. He woke me early with kisses, and we made love again. This time it was sweeter and more loving. I loved how he could fuck me at night and then make love to me the next day.
For once, I didn’t even try to sneak out of his room early. I would no longer keep where I slept a secret from the girls. I felt guilty being so blatant like mama had been, but even so, I still woke up before they did.
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