Six Weeks to Catch a Cowboy

by Brenda Harlen

  Dear Spencer,

  I registered Dani for preschool today. It was a shock to me, to accept that my baby isn’t a baby anymore but a preschooler. As I filled out the paperwork, I realized that I may very well have made the biggest mistake of my life by not telling you about our daughter, by not giving her the opportunity to know her father. I hope and pray that it’s not too late to rectify that mistake.

  So on Monday, I’m going to bundle up all the letters I’ve written over the past three-and-a-half years, take them down to the post office and put them in the mail. And cross my fingers that Crooked Creek Ranch in Haven, Nevada, still belongs to your family.

  If you want to meet your daughter after you’ve read these letters—and I hope you will—I know she would be thrilled. I also know that you’ll probably have a thousand questions and just as many reasons to be furious with me. I’m going to try to answer some of those questions for you now.

  I don’t know if you’re going to be angry or relieved that I granted you a reprieve from fatherhood. When I saw the plus sign on the pregnancy test, I wanted to call you. I definitely didn’t want to make any decisions on my own—not about something so huge. Because—ohmygod—we were going to have a baby! And maybe I didn’t know you well, but I knew you’d stand by me, whatever I wanted to do.

  I wanted our baby, but I didn’t ever want you to feel trapped by my choices...so I chose not to tell you. And not a single day has gone by since that I haven’t wondered if it was the wrong choice and wished I could have given her not just all the love in my heart but a real family.

  Having Dani changed everything for me, and I can’t help but wonder if knowing you were a father—if knowing her—would have done the same for you. But I guess we’ll find out soon enough.

  I hope you can forgive me. More important, I hope you can be the father our little girl deserves.

  Emily

  Of course, she’d never put any of the letters in the mail, because she was killed before she’d had a chance to do so.

  As Spencer refolded the pages and slid them back into the envelope, he silently promised Emily that he would do his best to honor her wishes.

  Chapter Fourteen

  While Spencer was reading Emily’s letters, Kenzie stretched out beside Dani to read the little girl’s favorite bedtime story. Usually by the time she got to “rock and rock and rock to sleep,” Dani’s eyes were closed. But not tonight.

  “I think somebody had too much chocolate sauce on her ice cream.”

  “I like choc’ate sauce,” Dani said.

  Kenzie smiled and brushed the little girl’s hair away from her face. “I know you do—almost as much as you like sprinkles.”

  Dani grinned and nodded.

  “And all that sugar is keeping you awake.”

  “Can you wead the sto-wee again?”

  “I’ve already read it twice.”

  “Thwee times!”

  “Okay,” Kenzie relented. “But only if you promise to close your eyes when I get to the part where they turn off the light.”

  The little girl patted her pillow, beside her head. “You cuddle with me?”

  So Kenzie put her head down beside Dani’s and opened the book again.

  When she got to the part where the lights were turned out, Dani immediately squeezed her eyes shut. Smiling, Kenzie finished the story and set the book aside, then pulled the chain to turn off the bedside lamp.

  “I love you, Ke’zie.” The words were a quiet whisper in the darkness.

  It was hard to speak when her throat was clogged with emotion, but she managed to whisper back, “I love you, too, Dani.”

  Because as much as she’d tried to fortify the walls around her heart to keep Spencer on the outside, she had no defenses against his little girl.

  In the dim light that spilled into the room from the hall, she saw Dani’s lips curve. A few minutes later, Kenzie suspected the child was finally asleep, but she decided to stay where she was for a little while longer, until she was certain.

  * * *

  Spencer stood in the doorway of his daughter’s bedroom, a feeling of warm contentment spreading through him. Though Dani was tucked under the covers and Kenzie was reclined on top, they were snuggled close—two females who, in the course of only a few weeks, had managed to completely steal his heart. He wasn’t entirely sure when or how it had happened, he only knew that it was true and he couldn’t imagine his life without either of them.

  They could be a family. Kenzie and him and Dani. He could give his little girl the family that her mother had only dreamed of for her—the family he was only beginning to realize that he wanted just as much.

  He kissed Dani’s forehead, then went around to the other side of the bed to lift Kenzie into his arms so that he could carry her to his bed, where she belonged.

  But the woman wasn’t as deeply asleep as the child, and her eyes immediately popped open.

  “What—oh...Spencer.”

  “You were expecting someone else?”

  “I expect you to put me down,” she said, keeping her voice pitched low so as not to wake Dani.

  “I’m not going to drop you,” he assured her.

  “I’m more worried that you’re going to strain your shoulder.”

  “My shoulder is fine.”

  She finally relaxed against it. “Did you get your answers?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m glad,” she said.

  He kicked his bedroom door closed, then sank down onto the mattress with her. In the darkness of the night, mouths met, clothes were shed and finally...bodies tangled together.

  Afterward, he started to drift off to sleep with Kenzie in his arms, confident in the knowledge that he was exactly where he was supposed to be.

  * * *

  Kenzie had to go.

  The longer she stayed, the more she gave of her heart, and she couldn’t risk giving it all to Spencer again.

  She shifted toward the edge of the mattress and started to gather her clothes.

  “Stay,” he said. “Please.”

  She shook her head. “That’s not a good idea.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it would be confusing for Dani if she woke up in the middle of the night and found me in your bed,” she said, and tugged on her panties.

  “Aside from the fact that she’d love to have you here all day every day, she’s not yet four,” he pointed out. “I don’t think she’d give it enough thought to register confusion.”

  “And Mrs. Powell would know if my car was parked outside all night.”

  “And would undoubtedly ask for all the juicy details the next day.”

  Yeah, Kenzie thought as she wiggled into her jeans, unable to deny that was a likely scenario there.

  “Of course, anyone else could see my car there, too, and then word would inevitably get back to my mother,” she said instead.

  “And you could point out that her disapproval has only made me more appealing to you,” he teased.

  “Maybe she was the catalyst for this,” she acknowledged, looking for her bra.

  “The catalyst for what?” he asked, a hint of worry creeping into the question.

  “The realization that I need some space.”

  “What are you talking about?” he demanded. “Space for what?”

  “I’ve gotten too wrapped up in your life.” She gave up on finding her bra and tugged her shirt over her head without it.

  “That’s ridiculous.”

  She shook her head. “I was upset about an argument I had with my mother, and what did I do?”

  He looked blank.

  “I raced over here,” she told him. “And you immediately knew something was wrong. You even offered me a glass of wine and asked me if I wanted to talk.”

  �
�Still not seeing the problem.”

  “That’s not us,” she protested.

  “Did you suddenly start speaking a different language? Because none of this is making any sense to me.”

  “We’re supposed to be having a good time until you ride off into the sunset again,” she reminded him. Because she’d counted the days on the calendar from his first day back in Haven to the start of the National Finals, and she’d been reassured by the six week timeline—certain she could maintain the barriers around her heart for that brief period.

  “Is that what this is about?” he asked. “You’re afraid that I’m going to pack up and leave again?”

  Yes.

  She shook her head. “No.”

  She needed him to pack up and leave again, before he broke her heart.

  “Because I do want to go to Vegas for the Finals, but that will be my last competition,” he assured her.

  “It’s not about Vegas,” she said. “It’s simply about your dreams and mine being incompatible.”

  “I don’t think that’s true.”

  “I’m a small-town girl with traditional ideas and simple plans.” She spotted her bra, peeking out from under the bed, picked it up and stuffed it in her pocket.

  “You want to get married and have a family,” he guessed.

  “Yes, I do,” she said, refusing to apologize for the fact. “Not necessarily right now, but someday.”

  “So let’s do it.”

  She blinked at him. “What?”

  “Let’s get married.”

  If only she could believe that he was asking for the right reasons. But no, even if he declared undying love, it wouldn’t change her mind.

  She needed distance.

  She needed to protect her heart.

  “Are you insane?” she asked him. “You don’t respond to someone’s request for space with an impromptu marriage proposal.”

  “Why not?” he challenged.

  “Because exchanging vows is kind of the opposite of taking a step back,” she pointed out.

  “I don’t believe you really want to take a step back,” he said. “I think you’re running scared, that this sudden desire for space is just an attempt to protect your heart because you offered it to me once before and I was stupid and careless with it.”

  Was he really that attuned to her thoughts and feelings or was he just taking a shot in the dark? Either way, his comment hit the bull’s-eye. Which was only further proof that her heart was in serious danger and she needed to stick to her original plan.

  “I care about you, Spencer, but I’m not going to fall in love with you again.”

  He shook his head, but there was a glint of amusement—and determination—in his eyes. “Honey, you can take all the steps back that you want, but you have to know I’m going to interpret that kind of statement as a challenge.”

  And, as he’d told her before, he never backed away from a challenge.

  “It wasn’t a challenge,” she assured him.

  “Too late to take it back now,” he said.

  “So what—you’re going to make me fall in love with you so that you can add another tally to your ‘win’ column?”

  He shook his head. “Do you really think I would toy with your emotions just to get a win?”

  No, she didn’t. Which begged the question: “Then what was that all about?”

  “My only motivation for wanting you to fall in love with me is so that we can make plans for our future together.”

  What? Was he suggesting—

  No. She cut off that thought before it had completely formed, before hope could bloom in her heart. Because there was no way he was saying—

  “I love you, Kenzie. And I really hope that the next time I ask you to marry me, you’ll say yes.”

  * * *

  Spencer was optimistic that Kenzie would come around. She just needed some time to think about his proposal—to realize that she loved him as much as he loved her.

  When two days went by with no word from her, he decided he couldn’t just sit back and wait any longer. Familiar with her schedule, he decided to track her down at the clinic. But when he showed up at noon on Wednesday, Jillian confided that she’d had a cancellation and went for an early lunch.

  Since lunch most likely meant Diggers’, he headed to the Bar & Grill. She was seated alone in a booth, although the two menus on the table indicated that she was waiting for someone to join her.

  He slid into the empty bench across from her.

  “That seat is taken,” she told him.

  “And as soon as Megan gets here, I’ll let her have it.”

  “How do you know I’m waiting for Megan?”

  “Jillian told me,” he admitted.

  “You weren’t on the schedule today.”

  “No, I stopped by to ask for your help with something,” he told her.

  “What?” she asked warily.

  “Planning a birthday party for Dani.”

  “You know I’d do anything for Dani,” she admitted—and which he’d been counting on. “But I really don’t know anything about birthday parties for little girls.”

  “You have to know more than me,” he said.

  “Why?” she challenged.

  “Because I know less than nothing,” he admitted.

  “Then ask your mom. Or your sister. Or Celeste,” she said, throwing out alternatives for him to choose.

  He shook his head. “I’m asking you, Kenzie.”

  “Why?” she asked again.

  “Because this needing-some-space thing isn’t working for me.”

  Kenzie couldn’t deny that it wasn’t working for her, either. It certainly wasn’t helping her gain the emotional distance or even objectivity she wanted to attain. In fact, being away from Spencer and Dani only made her miss them more.

  On the other hand, it had only been three days and she wasn’t ready to throw in the towel just yet. Tempted—yes. In fact, she was tempted to not just throw in the towel but throw herself in his arms and lick him all over like a lollipop. Thankfully, she had a little more self-respect and self-restraint than that. She hoped.

  “If I agree to do this—plan Dani’s birthday party,” she immediately clarified, “it’s going to be on my terms.”

  “Anything you want,” he promised.

  “Okay. You give me the guest list and a budget and leave the details to me.”

  “I can do that,” he agreed. “Why don’t you stop by after work today and—”

  “I’m sure you can email me the names and numbers.”

  “Well, of course, I can,” he agreed. “But Dani would really love to see you.”

  So she stopped by on her way home from work, because she really wanted to see Dani, too. Then she ended up staying for dinner, because when she decided it was time to go, Spencer was taking Shake ’n Bake chicken out of the oven and there was more than enough to share. From there it was easy—maybe too easy—to fall into the familiar routines of eating and tidying up together, then getting Dani ready for bed.

  While the little girl was being tucked in, Kenzie gathered her jacket and handbag. She grabbed the strap of her bag and pulled it toward her, causing several pieces of mail to spill onto the floor. Silently chastising herself for her clumsiness, she bent to retrieve the envelopes and flyers.

  And paused when she saw the Genetix logo in the corner of one of the envelopes.

  She got all kinds of junk mail attempting to solicit interest in various products and services, and she knew it could be something like that—one of those “type your DNA and determine your ancestry” sort of things. But when she moved that envelope to the top of the pile, she saw that it wasn’t addressed to an unidentified occupant but specifically to “Spencer Channing—Personal & Confidential.”

 
“Dani wants a glass of water,” he said, returning to the kitchen. “This is part of her new routine—how many hoops can we make Daddy jump through before finally falling asleep?”

  He reached into the cupboard for a cup, set it under the tap.

  Kenzie stood silent, shocked by the implications of what was in her hand.

  He shut off the tap. “Is something wrong?”

  She turned the envelope so that he could see the logo. “Did you have a paternity test done?”

  He was silent for a moment, as if considering his response.

  Would he deny it?

  Would she believe him if he did?

  But then he nodded. “Yes, I did.”

  She knew it had nothing to do with her. Not really. And yet—she could barely swallow around the tightness in her throat.

  “You disapprove,” he guessed.

  “I just...why?”

  “For the obvious and usual reasons,” he said cautiously.

  She shook her head, not just disappointed but devastated by this confirmation. “Over the past few weeks...all the time I’ve spent with you and Dani... I actually thought you were stepping up to be the father she needs.”

  “I did. I am.”

  “Unless and until the DNA results let you off the hook?” she challenged.

  “That’s not fair, Kenzie.”

  “What’s not fair is letting her get attached to you if—”

  “The attachment goes both ways,” he interrupted to assure her.

  “Then why the test?” she asked again.

  “I just wanted to know for sure that I am her father.”

  “And if this paper says you’re not?” she challenged.

  It was a question he’d been asking himself since the doctor had swabbed the inside of his cheek.

  He’d told himself he was seeking formal confirmation of paternity, so that no one could ever dispute his legal right to custody of Dani. But there had admittedly been a part of him that wondered “what if?”

  He didn’t want the life he’d had before Dani. He didn’t want to go back to living out of a suitcase on the rodeo circuit.