A Penny for Your Thoughts

by Bess McBride

  One man caught her eye. A tall man, he leaned against a dark car, just out of reach of the lights of the photographers and police cars, arms crossed over his chest, some sort of dark ball cap on his head, unmoving except for a slight rotation of his hat visor as he turned in her direction. She looked over her shoulder to follow the direction of his gaze, but the bank was to her right. There was nothing behind her but a blank concrete bank wall. Was he staring at her? She turned back. He opened his car door in a leisurely fashion and climbed in. Penny strained to catch a glimpse of his face until she realized that the inside light of his car had not come on when he opened the door. Expecting him to drive away, a vague sense of unease crept up her spine as she realized that he wasn’t leaving, but just sat there...watching.

  Chapter Three

  Penny spun around, turned her back to the crowd and gave herself a quick shake. She reassured herself the man was simply a bystander and that her imagination was working overtime given the startling events of the day. Matt and Brad came out of the bank, pausing just outside the door, deep in conversation. Penny inched toward them. With Matt in grabbing distance, she found the courage to sneak a quick peek over her shoulder. The man and his car had disappeared. She relaxed, and shook her head at her foolishness.

  “Well, I’ve got to get something to eat and get Penny back to her car. I’ll be back in a while.”

  “Okay, Chief,” Brad said and nodded in Penny’s direction. She gave him an overly bright smile.

  “Are you ready?” Matt put his hand behind her back and urged her toward the parking lot, lifting the police tape for her to pass under. She scanned the onlookers for the man who’d caught her attention, but she couldn’t pick him out of the crowd. His car was gone. She shook off the lingering sense of disquiet. In Matt’s safe presence, that was easy to do.

  “Are you going to be out here all night?” Penny asked. She turned to survey the intense activity at the scene.

  Matt’s lips lifted at one corner. “Yeah. I have to come back out. I can’t just hop into bed and let the guys handle this all night.”

  Acutely aware of his hand on her back as he guided her back toward his SUV, she wondered helplessly if she would see him again. The town was small, but she had little excuse for looking him up again. What would she say? Hey, I think I still love you. Ask me to give up my life to be with you...and I will...in a heartbeat?

  But she bit her lip and climbed into the SUV.

  “How about waffles?” Matt buckled his seatbelt and threw a sheepish grin in her direction. “I know it’s not much of a dinner but I’ve got the craziest desire for breakfast right now.” He glanced at his watch. “We’ve got some all night waffle joints around here.”

  Penny let loose the breath she didn’t know she’d been holding. Yes! Yes! She still had more time with him.

  “Oh, sure...if you’re still hungry. Sounds good.” She took a steadying breath and tried a nonchalant response.

  “Great!” Matt backed out of the parking lot and turned onto the main road. He headed toward the beach highway. Within minutes, he pulled into the parking lot of a small, well-lit eatery that reminded her of pictures she’d seen of old diners. Wall to wall glass windows provided a look into the coffee shop with its orange booth tables and counter seating surrounding the open grill. Matt held the door open, and she stepped in.

  One lone, tired-looking woman who appeared to be in her forties seated them in a booth in the otherwise empty restaurant. She poured coffee for Matt and brought Penny a glass of water. Acutely aware of the garish overhead fluorescent lights which probably mercilessly enhanced every wrinkle and line in her face, Penny leaned her elbows on the table and casually covered the lower half of her face with her hands.

  The waitress who apparently also doubled as the cook returned to take their orders.

  “So, what’ll it be folks?”

  “Waffles for me,” Matt said handing her his menu.

  “The same,” Penny said, momentarily incapable of concentrating on a piece of plastic with writing.

  “Coming up.” The dark-haired woman moved away, and Penny was left with the man of her dreams.

  She turned to look out of the window at the lights of the hotels across the street. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Matt raise his coffee cup to his lips. His hand shook slightly when he set it back down. He leaned back against his seat. Penny swore she could hear him breathe, so alert was she to him.

  “I can’t believe it’s really you,” Matt said quietly. “Where have you been?”

  Penny’s cheeks flamed momentarily, and she let out a deep sigh. She turned to face Matt and opened her mouth to speak but nothing came out. Her mind went completely blank. Where had she been? Without him... That’s where she’d been. Did it matter? She blinked and met Matt’s steady green gaze.

  She managed a careless shrug. “Oh, up north in Michigan. You might remember the town. We stayed there once on that road trip. Traverse City?” Penny bit her lip. She wished she hadn’t brought up that night. An overnight stop on the road back from New Orleans, a passionate night in the motel by the bay.

  She grabbed her ice water and gulped. Matt’s tanned cheeks bronzed, and he reached for his coffee.

  “I remember,” he nodded. He took a deep swallow. “How did you end up there? Did you have family there? I don’t remember.”

  Penny shook her head, and then nodded. “No. Well, yes, I do now. No, not really.” She cleared her throat. “That is...no, I didn’t have family there before. And yes, Travis has been living with me, but he’s gone off to college in Los Angeles now...so...no, I guess I don’t have family there.” She took another swallow of water, hoping her shaking hands didn’t expose her agitation.

  Matt laughed, bringing a merry crinkle to the corners of his dark-lashed eyes.

  “I see...I think. Why Traverse City? What are you doing now?”

  Penny shrugged. “Oh, you know, you have to live somewhere, and it’s a nice town. I’m not sure what I’ll do now that Travis is out of the house.” As she spoke, Penny remembered her excitement at finding a position open in the little town that once held special memories for her.

  “Are you still counseling?”

  “Yes...no...well, yes. Actually, I’m on sabbatical.”

  Matt eyed her curiously. “That was a complicated answer. I thought you’d never give up teaching.”

  Penny shrugged again, unable to articulate her thoughts, chaotic and jumbled as they were.

  “I did. But after those three years teaching in Belgium, I decided I wanted to do something different so I went back to school.”

  Matt dropped his eyes to his coffee and rotated his cup back and forth.

  “Yeah, Belgium,” he said quietly. He raised his eyes to her face for an instant. “I’m sorry I never wrote you back, Penny.” He dropped his gaze once again.

  Penny gritted her teeth against a flood of grief and fixed her eyes on his cup.

  “Oh, that’s okay,” she mumbled. “You know...I was going to be gone for three years. No point in hanging onto the past.”

  “I got your letters.”

  Penny’s heart ached. She wanted to rub the sore spot near her heart but didn’t dare.

  “Oh, I’m glad,” she tried for a nonchalant pleasant tone. He mustn’t know how devastated she’d been to leave the post office every day empty handed. “Can you imagine life before e-mail?” she chuckled. “How long ago that was.”

  The waitress brought their food, and Penny busied herself pouring syrup over her waffles and methodically cutting her food into tiny pieces, hoping to stall any further conversation. She had a million questions for him, but he’d run from the fervor of her crazy, passionate love in the past. There was no reason to assume he’d changed.

  “So, how long have you been here in the South? I never got a chance to ask when I talked to you on the phone all those years ago.” She forked a piece of food and began to munch, fully intent on a scenario of settling in for an in
nocuous conversation with someone she once knew.

  Matt glanced at her with his winsome smile. “Oh, let’s see. Well, after I decided to leave Missoula...that was about three years after you left, I looked for jobs in law enforcement everywhere.” He chuckled. “They weren’t as easy to find as the college recruiter said they’d be. The folks in Gulfport were hiring, so I thought I’d take a chance and apply. And here I am.” He shrugged with a grin and took a bite of food.

  “You’re the Chief of Police.” She suspended her fork in midair. “Did you simply skip recruit, patrol officer, sergeant, lieutenant and captain?” She cocked an eyebrow. “I don’t know the titles. I’m just guessing here.”

  Matt chuckled. “No, I went up through ranks. They must have had a lot of retirements or something though. I have no idea how I got up to captain so fast.”

  Penny eyed him with a love that had never died. “Oh, I imagine your brains, beauty and brawn had something to do with it.”

  Matt dropped his fork and burst out laughing once again. His face turned bright red, almost the color of Penny’s.

  “I can’t believe I said that,” she mumbled behind the napkin she slapped to her mouth.

  “I can, Penny. I can. I never did know what was going to come out of your mouth.” He eyed her over the rim of his coffee cup while his shoulders continued to shake.

  “I thought I’d grown up since then,” she muttered, hopelessly aware that she’d once again reverted to a lovesick fool in his presence.

  “So, where is Travis now?” Matt asked.

  “He’s with his father for Christmas. He’s got a girlfriend now, and he wants to stay in Los Angeles to be near her.” Penny’s lips drooped momentarily. Traverse City held little life for her now that Travis was out of high school.

  She lifted her chin. Matt was not going to see her whining about lost loves--not about Travis--and not about him. It would make him uncomfortable. Displays of emotion always did.

  “What is this about a sabbatical? How did you pick Gulf Shores, Alabama of all places?”

  Penny blinked, and her mouth went suddenly dry. She dropped her eyes to her food and forced a casual shrug. “Oh, I just took the time off. It’s nice to be able to get away when I want, now that Travis is grown and out on his own. I came to Gulf Shores because a lot of people from Michigan come down here for the winter. I’d heard about it.”

  Matt nodded. “We do get a lot of snow birds from Michigan. It’s a straight shot south.”

  Penny nodded and stuffed more food in her mouth, fairly sure she was failing miserably at presenting a positive, peppy tone to convince him her life had been fabulous since last they met. She turned to look out the window while she chewed. The lights of the restaurant shone on his black SUV. Another car parked farther away from the entrance. The lights of the hotels provided a backdrop for the occupant. Penny stiffened. She saw the bill of a baseball cap turn. Surely, that wasn’t...

  Wishing she weren’t “highlighted” under the bright lights of the waffle house and the large table to ceiling windows, she leaned forward and squinted. Without turning on its lights, the car began a slow movement toward the exit of the parking lot. She strained to watch its progress around the side of the building. Didn’t he realize his lights weren’t on? Once on the street, the driver turned on his lights and sped away. She followed his rapid progress down the road.

  “Is something wrong?”

  Penny turned her attention back to Matt to tell him about the car, but she clamped her mouth shut and shook her head. It was nothing. This was a small town. She was bound to see the same people over and over. Perhaps he was an employee of the restaurant just getting off shift.

  “No, nothing.” She took a deep breath. “Well, thank you very much for the meal. It’s been great catching up with you.” Penny pressed her napkin to her lips.

  Matt’s eyes flew to hers with a startled look. “That sounds awfully final. I’m going to see you again, aren’t I?”

  “Oh sure,” Penny nodded, unable to suppress the color in her cheeks. “Small town as it is.” She grinned pleasantly and studied the edge of the table, willing the waitress to bring their check. She couldn’t think of anything else to say besides begging him to tell her why he’d let her go.

  “It is a small town. Besides, I need to check your apartment anyway. Let’s go get your car, then I’m going to follow you home.”

  The thought of Matt in her apartment filled her with more anxiety than that awful phone call earlier in the day. The waitress heard her silent plea and returned with the check.

  Matt swallowed the last of his coffee and laid out some money on the table after refusing her offer to pay. “Are you ready?”

  Penny nodded. “Yes, I am.”

  He led the way outside, and they climbed into his SUV once again. He pulled out of the parking lot in silence and drove back toward the police station. Penny wracked her brain for pleasant everyday conversation, but she couldn’t think of anything one might reasonably say to an ex-lover one had been dreaming about every night for the last several months.

  “So, where are you staying?” Matt asked in the silent darkness of the car.

  “At the Seashore Condominiums,” Penny offered. What had his wife been like? Beautiful? Blonde? Everything she was not?

  “I know where that is,” Matt said, keeping his gaze on the road.

  Penny remained mute.

  Matt said nothing further as they pulled into the parking lot of the police station. He waited until she got into her own car. Penny buckled her seatbelt with shaking hands. She pulled out of the parking lot and headed toward the beach, and Matt followed. Penny did her best to block the memories that threatened to engulf her, and she focused on the phone call of the morning.

  Who could possibly have made that call? She wracked her brain to match the voice to any of her clients, but she still couldn’t imagine anyone she knew doing such a thing. She turned onto the Gulf Beach Highway, drove west for a mile and then turned into the front drive of her condominium building. Matt pulled in behind her and parked next to her.

  Penny stepped out of her car reluctantly. She couldn’t even remember if she’d left her apartment tidy. Had she even made the bed? She shook her head. Why did that matter? Silly woman. She gave herself a mental slap and smiled brightly at Matt as she led the way up the stairs to the third floor.

  “How do you like it here in Gulf Shores?” he asked conversationally.

  “Oh, it’s great! What a wonderful place this must be to live.” She turned to look at him as they arrived at her door. Matt scanned the hallway to the left and right.

  “It gets pretty hot in the summer.” He grinned as he waited for her to open the door. He wanted to come in? She swallowed hard. Seriously?

  “I’m pretty sure no one is going to bother me, Matt. I hate to keep you. You’ve probably had a long day.”

  “I just want to see if everything is all right, Penny. My day isn’t over yet. I’ve got to get back to the bank to see if they need anything.”

  She pushed open the door, and Matt followed her in. She cast a quick eye over the neutral beige couch and easy chairs, light wood coffee table and end tables in the living room. Everything looked tidy.

  “Nice place,” Matt murmured as he moved to the middle of the room. He turned to the right toward her open bedroom door. “May I?” He tipped his head in the direction of the bedroom.

  A tremor ran through Penny’s body as she nodded. How often she had dreamed of seeing Matt walk into her bedroom over the years. And now he was about to...but only to inspect!

  Matt flipped on the light and looked around the room. She watched him open and shut the closet door and step into the bathroom. Not everyone had the Chief of Police search their house, she thought with a small measure of satisfaction. She fought the little smirk that threatened to erupt on her face.

  “Everything looks good so far.” Matt came back into the living room and crossed over to the large sliding door
that opened onto the balcony. He pulled it open.

  “This isn’t locked, Penny.” He turned to eye her with a raised brow.

  She hung back.

  “I-I thought since it’s on the third floor. No one can climb up here...I don’t think.”

  His grave look sent her into a kindergarten seat.

  “Lock it.”

  He stepped outside. Penny closed her dropped jaw and followed him. He’d never spoken to her like that before. She wouldn’t have taken it from anyone else.

  The Gulf breeze blew brisk, full of salty moisture. The outline of the white foam from the waves on the shore was faintly visible under the light of the quarter moon.

  Matt leaned over and peered below.

  “You’re right. I doubt if anyone could climb up here, but just in case, keep it locked.”

  Penny nodded mutely, surprised at her meekness. Could she beg him to stay? She bit her lip. Of course not! It was quite likely their time had come and gone.

  Matt’s cell phone rang...again.

  “Chief Williams.” He lowered his head to the phone.

  Penny tried not to eavesdrop...too much.

  “Yes. I’ll be right there.”

  She turned away and reentered the apartment with a sinking feeling. Soon, he would be gone. Matt entered behind her, closed the door and locked it.

  “Well, everything looks pretty good here. I’ve got to get going. Here’s my phone number.” He pressed a card into her hand...a business card.

  Penny stared at it dumbly. Who would ever have thought a man she’d once loved so passionately would give her an impersonal business card? It seemed surreal.

  “Call me if anything comes up...if you get any more phone calls. I hope you don’t. Maybe this was just isolated. Maybe a prank call. I don’t know. We’ll just have to wait and see.” He moved toward the door. Penny wanted to follow him like a good hostess, but she froze in the middle of the living room with her hands clasped behind her back. He paused at the door and surveyed her with an enigmatic smile.