Strong

by Natalie Debrabandere

  She lay back on the bed and stared at the ceiling, frustration taking hold as she thought of her platoon and the marines she had left behind.

  Collins.

  Her mind drifted back to their meeting with the Afghan. She remembered he had asked if she was the boss, and he was happy when Collins said that she was. Tyler remembered the little grin on his face. She knew now why he had been smiling. He knew he was going to blow them both up and he was delighted the boss was going to be on his list of victims. She understood now why she had felt so unnerved during the brief conversation. She had been aware that something was not right, but at the time she thought that the danger would come from an attack from an enemy they had not spotted yet. She had had no idea the enemy was standing right in front of her.

  “Ben…” she murmured.

  Dead.

  She turned the words around in her head, whispered her friend’s name again, remembered him. Dead. This did not feel real either, and she struggled to keep her panic in check.

  When she thought about Kate, stuck at Cobel on her own, it nearly sent her over the edge.

  Her heart jumped and started racing again, and she broke into a cold sweat. She glanced toward the door, wondered if she could try to hobble out. She could see a pair of crutches abandoned on the other side of the room and she thought she could get those.

  She tried to sit up straighter and managed it, but as soon as she tried to swing her legs out of bed a sharp, acute pain tore through her left thigh, starting in the foot she no longer had and travelling all the way up through her hip and the base of her spine.

  Tyler had never been electrocuted before but she imagined the sensation would be quite similar.

  Now she knew why the doctor had wanted to give her some morphine earlier. The anaesthetic in her system must have worn off obviously, and the simple act of trying to lift her leg had woken up all the raw nerves in it. Tyler gritted her teeth and tried not to cry out loud.

  All of a sudden she was feeling dizzy and her vision had blurred. She gripped the railing on the side of the bed, leaning forward, willing herself not to be sick.

  By the time the sergeant came back, she was drenched in sweat and breathing hard again. The doctor took one look at her and shook her head.

  “It is a seven hour flight back to the UK,” she said casually.

  “Are you always this annoying, sergeant?” Tyler asked hotly.

  O'Connor flashed her a bright smile and reached into her pocket for a dose of morphine.

  “It’s always a good sign when patients start shouting at their doctor, I think.”

  She looked at Tyler, noticed sweat trickling down the middle of her forehead.

  Her face had turned grey.

  “Although you are not looking so good. Listen,” she added, more gently this time. “I understand why you would want to remain awake and alert in a place like this, but I can assure you that you’re safe.”

  Tyler threw her a look but she said nothing.

  “Do you really want to spend seven hours on a plane feeling like this?”

  “This won’t last, will it?”

  “I won’t lie to you. It will get worse before it gets better. So I suggest you go for the full dose and enjoy the ride. What do you say, captain?”

  It was the thought of not being able to stop worrying about Kate on the way out which made Tyler agree to the drug.

  “Just don’t give me too much,” she muttered.

  “Of course not,“ the doctor said brightly, and she injected her with the maximum dose.

  Chapter Twelve

  It took eight long weeks before Tyler started to grow stronger at last. She could hardly believe it had taken her so long. At first even spending as little as a couple of hours on crutches each day was more than she could handle. The sergeant at Bastion had lied, obviously.

  She was not able to start her rehab as soon as she got to the UK, and for a while her recovery only seemed to be going backwards. It really floored her. In her mind she had expected to be in and out of rehab in record time. Reality was a different thing altogether, and she struggled to reconcile the two.

  Initially she spent a lot of time in bed, mostly sleeping, fighting off a string of viruses and infections. She lost a lot of weight, got weaker.

  After that her leg seemed to get worse, even though the doctors assured her that it was not the case. Sometimes the pain in her ankle and in her knee was so bad that Tyler had to touch her leg to remind herself that it was really gone. Every single nerve in her missing limb was screaming out, and on a couple of occasions she got such painful cramps that she blacked out.

  Phantom pain they said. It was to be expected. It would get better.

  They gave her morphine whenever she wanted it, and it helped a little, but not much. And she hated having to depend on it. Morphine also made her think of Kate, and that night in Cobel, and reminded her that despite her best intentions she had not been able to get in touch with her yet.

  Still, at the start of her fourth week at Staunton things started to improve a little, and she got fitted with a high quality prosthetic leg. Frustratingly, the amount of time that she could spend practicing with it at first was extremely limited. Tyler felt enraged by the sluggishness of her own progress.

  Her physiotherapist told her a million times that she had to be patient, that her leg had to heal properly first. It would come, but she could not rush the process.

  There would be no shortcuts.

  For the first time in her life Tyler found that her body would not do what she wanted it to do. Her head was racing ahead, but her body was stuck firmly behind.

  Slowly but surely though she worked her way through recovery, and after five weeks she ditched her crutches and started using her prosthetic more.

  She had adapted easily to Staunton’s rehabilitation programme, a regime of eating, sleeping and relentless training. She was used to hard training sessions, except this time there were no runs on the beach, and instead it was all about core work and swimming. She swam twice a day, without fail, despite the advice of the physios who said that she was pushing herself too hard. But it was the only way that she could control the pain. She found that if she trained hard enough, and made herself feel tired enough, the pain in her lost leg was manageable without pain killers.

  So they let it slide, and Tyler grew a little bit happier.

  On a misty and gloomy December day, after finishing her second swim of the day, she made her way into the kitchen to see what was on offer. It was four o’clock in the afternoon and getting dark, and as pretty much always these days she found that she starving. With all the training she was doing the weight was literally falling off her, and chief cook Danielle had begun to bake vanilla cheesecakes on an industrial scale, just so that Tyler could have her daily treat.

  Danielle was sixty-three, five two, always smiling, and as it happened, very willing to spent most of her spare time flirting with their new American resident.

  “So D., when are you taking me out for dinner?” Tyler enquired as she walked in.

  She was tired and she was using her crutches for once, and as Danielle turned to her she leaned them on the side of the counter, put both hands on it, and hoisted herself on top. She smiled, leaned her elbows on her thighs, and gave Danielle her full attention.

  “I was waiting for you to take me out captain,” Danielle shot back indignantly. “You eat so much my monthly wage would not cover the bill!”

  She roared with laughter and moved closer to give Tyler a little poke on the shoulder.

  “How come you’re on crutches again, eh?“ she asked.

  “My leg hurts. I guess I just need to rest it a bit.”

  “How many miles you done in that swimming pool today?”

  “Five today,” Tyler replied.

  Danielle shook her head in disapproval.

  “No wonder your leg hurts. You nutter. Anyway, what brings you here then?”

  “I just wanted to say hel
lo, who do you take me for?” Tyler protested.

  “A hungry swimmer. Sure you were not after some cake?”

  “Me? Never!”

  Tyler shook her head, clear grey eyes sparkling with mischief, enjoying the banter. Danielle raised her eyebrows at her and snorted.

  “Fibber. You marines are the worst for that. Why don’t you go sit in the dining room and I’ll have a look in my cupboards and see what I can rustle up for you.”

  “Thanks D.,” Tyler said gratefully, and she slid off the counter and grabbed her crutches. “I’m trying on a new running leg tomorrow morning,” she added, almost shyly.

  “About time! Then you can run on out of here and I can have a rest from feeding you!” Danielle exclaimed, faking relief.

  She was happy when she got a genuine laugh out of Tyler, and she stepped forward to give her a quick hug.

  “You have a lovely smile. You should use it more often,” she said.

  Dismissed, Tyler went to sit in the dining room, choosing a table at the back. She got on well with all the staff at Staunton, but she always preferred to be on her own when she was not training. She made sure to give Danielle an extra smile when the woman brought her a thick slice of cheesecake, and some strawberry compote to go with it.

  “Cream?” Tyler asked hopefully.

  “Don’t push it girlie.”

  Tyler chuckled quietly. Danielle glanced back at her as she walked off, giving a little shake of the head. She felt for the young woman, who always seemed to be on her own. She had never once heard her complain, but there was a sadness in her eyes which was hard to ignore, and no amount of pretend banter had been able to fool Danielle so far.

  “Excuse me, I’m looking for Captain Jackson?”

  Danielle had been about to disappear back into the kitchen when she heard the voice behind her.

  She turned and found herself facing a very beautiful woman, dressed in jeans and a pair of sturdy boots, and a black leather jacket. She had long, shiny black hair and bright, intelligent green eyes. She looked tired and excited all at the same time, and Danielle raised a suspicious eyebrow.

  “Yes?” she said carefully.

  The woman stared at her curiously for a second and then broke into a big smile.

  “Sorry, I guess I really should introduce myself first, shouldn't I? I’m Lieutenant Ashley Peace,” she said. “USMC."

  “Another marine," Danielle muttered. "Guess you'll be wanting cheesecake too?"

  The newcomer gave her a blank look and her eyes drifted slowly across the kitchen.

  “Someone said Tyler might be around here somewhere?”

  “That is correct.”

  The American woman cracked a little smile.

  Security was tough in this place, she reflected, amused.

  “Any chance you could point me in the right direction?” she asked.

  Ashley walked straight into the large dining room, and she paused at the door as soon as she spotted Tyler. She took a slow breath, giving herself a couple of seconds to watch her friend.

  Tyler sat alone at a table by the window, dressed in baggy jeans, a red hoodie that looked slightly too big for her, a pair of Nike on her feet. On her foot, Ashley corrected herself mentally. She bit her lip as she noticed how much weight Tyler had lost since she had last seen her, how it made her features look even sharper, more intense. Her hair had grown too and just brushed the base of her neck now. She was toying with a spoon and a piece of cake, staring into space, apparently lost in thought.

  Smiling, Ashley took a few slow steps toward her.

  “Hey, marine. If you’re not hungry I’ll gladly take it off your hands,” she said quietly.

  Tyler looked up, a hint of challenge in her eyes, looking annoyed at being disturbed. But as soon as her eyes fell on her visitor, her expression changed and she dropped her spoon in surprise.

  “Ash?” she exclaimed.

  The woman nodded and flashed her a happy grin.

  A slow smile came to Tyler‘s lips, and she grabbed her crutches and stood up quickly. Her eyes on Ashley, she walked over to her friend, and as soon as she was close enough she let go of her clutches in one quick movement. She wrapped her arms around her and enfolded her in a tight hug.

  “Ash,” she murmured. "My God, are you really here?"

  Ashley suddenly felt herself close to tears, unable to speak. So she simply nodded and returned the hug, crushing Tyler against her. It was a couple of seconds before she could say something.

  "Oh, Ty, I am so sorry about what happened to you..." she murmured.

  From the kitchen Danielle had heard the clatter of the crutches falling to the floor, and she rushed in, frowning in alarm. When she spotted the two women locked together in an embrace she relaxed, and watched them for a moment. Neither of them spoke, but Ashley’s eyes were closed tightly, and Danielle noted how she had grabbed a handful of Tyler’s hair and how hard she was holding on to her. Feeling more than a little bit curious, but reassured that everything was all right with the young captain, Danielle relaxed and walked away quietly.

  Ashley had no idea how long they stood like that in silence, just holding on to each other. It felt like a long time, but also nowhere near long enough. Tyler’s skin felt hot against hers, and she smelt of swimming pool and Deep Heat. All of a sudden Ashley struggled a little with the intensity of her emotions. The feel of Tyler’s familiar body against hers stirred up memories Ashley knew were better left alone. After a while, she pulled away reluctantly. But she kept both hands on Tyler’s arms, watching her, unable to stop grinning.

  “Hey captain,” she said softly.

  “Hey marine. How are you?“

  “Better now I’ve managed to find you,” Ashley said frankly.

  “I can’t believe you’re here,” Tyler laughed, and she looked a little bit shell shocked at the same time. “How did you know…”

  “I heard you‘d been injured,” Ashley interrupted. “Lenster’s back home now. I bumped into him in San Anselmo and he told me all about it.”

  “Lenster,” Tyler repeated with emotion, thinking of the young corporal she had left behind in Cobel. “Is he okay?”

  “Yes. He‘s fine.”

  Tyler shook her head, her eyes growing a little bit distant as she thought about her men. They were home now. God. The weeks had flown by. She thought of Kate suddenly and wondered if that meant she was on her way back to the UK as well. As yet she had still not heard from her.

  “Come,” Ashley said softly. “Let’s sit.”

  Tyler dropped back on to her chair and looked at her friend. She tried to remember how long it had been since she had last seen Ashley. A year, maybe two. Although they had been in touch on the phone and through email. Somehow it seemed as if Ashley had always been a part of her life. Through school and college, then the Marines. They had done their basic training together and completed their first tour of duty in Iraq in the same unit. Back home in San Francisco they were friends. Going out, going diving together. An image of Ashley naked in her bed at home flashed in front of Tyler’s eyes.

  She blinked and gave a light shake of the head.

  “It’s wonderful to see you Ash,” she said with feeling.

  “Likewise, buddy.”

  “So… what are you doing here?” Tyler enquired.

  She frowned suddenly.

  “Is everything okay?”

  “Well, yes…"

  "Sure?"

  Ashley gave a light shrug.

  "I got shot in the arm four months ago, and got sent home from Helmand. But it’s not the reason I’m here.”

  “Shit, I had no idea,” Tyler exclaimed. “Why didn’t you get in touch?”

  “It’s nothing,” Ashley said calmly. “Plus, there was nothing you could have done about it, so I didn’t want you to worry.”

  “Let me see,” Tyler insisted.

  Her expression tightened as Ashley slipped her arm out of her sleeve and showed her the long scar on the inside
of her bicep, that snaked its way all the way down her forearm.

  “It looks bad, Ash,” Tyler muttered. “How are you doing?”

  “I’m fine. Radial nerve is sort of busted though.”

  Tyler raised a worried eyebrow.

  “What does that mean for your career?” she asked.

  “Well, my days in the military are over.”

  “What...”

  “Don‘t worry, please,” Ashley interrupted, leaning forward to rest her hand on Tyler's forearm. “I’m fine. I wanted to get out anyway.”

  “You did?” Tyler was amazed. “You never said.”

  “Well, it has been a while since I last saw you, Ty.”

  She looked up when Danielle appeared at her side, with another portion of cake and two steaming mugs of coffee.

  “Oh, thank you.”

  “You are very welcome darling.”

  “Thanks D.,” Tyler said, smiling.

  “Don’t get used to the special treatment,” Danielle shot back, “and if you girls are going to start taking your clothes off, kindly take it to your room please, captain.”

  Tyler’s face coloured a dark shade of pink, and Ashley cast an amused glance in her direction.

  “Sorry. Not been here five minutes and I’m already getting you into trouble,” she observed.

  “As usual. Although not hard to do, Danielle is an expert,” Tyler acknowledged. “I think she’d make a terrifying drill instructor.”

  “Looks like she really likes you.”

  Tyler gave a light shrug.

  “I’m glad you seem to be okay with all this,” she said, but the emotion in her voice was obvious.

  Ashley nodded. Breaking the moment, she grabbed her spoon and handed it to her.

  “Eat,” she ordered with a smile. “You look like you need to.”

  “Feels like all I do is eat these days,” Tyler stated moodily.

  She started to dig into her cake anyway. Ashley glanced at her, her eyes softening as she noted the impatient look that flashed across her eyes as she spoke. Patience had never been Tyler’s strong suit.