by Bill Keaggy
BREAKFAST: FRENCH TOAST WITH BROWN
SUGAR PEACHES AND YOGURT CHEESE
1 cup vanilla yogurt
4 large eggs slightly beaten
1 cup milk
8 slices thick bread
4 medium peaches, pitted and sliced
1/3 cup packed brown sugar
butter
The only thing you’ll need that’s not on this found list is brown sugar.
According to U.S. Food & Drug Administration regulations, ground paprika is allowed up to 20% mold, 75 insect fragments and 11 rodent hairs per 25 grams, and tomato puree may contain 9 fly eggs and 1 maggot per 100 grams.
The night before, strain yogurt through two paper coffee filters placed in a strainer. The next day, whisk the eggs and milk in a shallow dish. Dip both sides of the bread into the egg mixture and cook on a large buttered skillet. Cook through, until brown on each side. Meanwhile place the sliced peaches and brown sugar in a heavy, two-quart saucepan. Cook until the sugar melts and the peaches are warm. Spoon peach mixture on top of the French toast. Add a large dollop of yogurt cheese. Serves four.
LUNCH: MEDITERRANEAN TUNA SANDWICH
1round loaf of crusty bread 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
2teaspoons lemon juice or red wine vinegar 1 tomato, sliced
1 6-once can tuna in oil, drained
1/2 cup sliced black olives
1/4 cup chopped onions
1/2 cucumber (diced, seeds removed)
1 hard-boiled egg, sliced
Salt and pepper to taste
A classic with a twist: Mediterranean tuna sandwich.
Iceberg lettuce got its name from the fact that California growers started shipping it covered with heaps of crushed ice in the 1920s. It had previously been called crisphead lettuce.
Cut bread crosswise. Pull out much of the soft interior, leaving a bread shell. In a small bowl, mix the oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper. Brush cut sides of bread with the oil mixture. Add a layer of tomatoes. In a bowl, mix tuna, cucumber, onions and olives. Scoop over the tomatoes. Add a layer of egg then the remaining tomatoes. Pour the remainder of the dressing on top. Cover with the lid of the bread. Wrap in aluminum foil and refrigerate for a couple of hours to combine the flavors. Cut into wedges. Serves four.
These items are not on this person’s list, but you probably have them on hand: Olive oil, lemon juice, salt and pepper.
Great Britain grows about six times more Brussels sprouts than the U.S.
Fish with a kick: broiled salmon on a bed of jalapeno leek cream.
The blueberry muffin is the official muffin of Minnesota.
DINNER: BROILED SALMON
WITH JALAPENO LEEK CREAM
2tablespoons olive oil plus additional oil to brush on salmon
3small leeks (halved, washed and sliced—just the white and light green sections)
1 jalapeno pepper, finely chopped
1 cup heavy cream
4salmon fillets
Kosher salt and pepper to taste
Preheat broiler. Heat oil over medium heat in a 12-inch skillet. Add leeks and the jalapeno and cook 15 minutes until soft, stirring occasionally. Stir in heavy cream and cook until slightly reduced. Add salt and pepper to taste. Meanwhile brush each salmon filet with oil and sprinkle with salt. Broil until cooked through, about 8 to 10 minutes. Place salmon on a bed of leeks. Serves four.
Again, you’ll just have to get some olive oil, salt and pepper from your cupboard because those basics aren’t on this list.
The most popular beverage in the world is tea, and beer is No. 2.
DESSERT: CHEESECAKE
WITH PORT-SOAKED CRANBERRIES
For cake:
1 pound cream cheese, softened
1 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
3 large eggs
1 premade graham cracker pie shell
For topping:
1 cup sour cream
1/4 cup sugar
1 teaspoon vanilla
For sauce:
1/2 cup port
1 teaspoon sugar
1 cup cranberries
Decadent and delicious: cheesecake with port-soaked cranberries.
Alma, Arkansas, is the Spinach Capital of the World.
Preheat oven to 350° F. Beat cream cheese on medium speed until smooth. Add sugar, vanilla and eggs. Beat five minutes. Pour cream cheese mixture into shell and place in oven. Cook 45 minutes or until center is almost set. Cool on a wire rack. Meanwhile combine sour cream, vanilla and sugar. Spread sour cream mixture on top of cheesecake. Cool cheesecake completely. In a one-quart saucepan, cook port and sugar over a medium-low heat for about 15 minutes or until reduced in half. Remove from heat. Add cranberries and let stand. Refrigerate for three hours while port mixture cools. Serve cheesecake with a spoonful of cranberry mixture. Serves six.
There are a few important items not on the discarded list (sugar, vanilla, port) but this cheesecake is so delicious I’m sure you’ll forgive me.
Lemonade was a favorite of the Chinese emperors. Lemons made their way to the United States with the help of Catholic missionaries and were planted in Arizona and California.
A delicious fall beverage: the pumpkin milkshake.
The inside of a cucumber can actually be up to 20° F cooler than the outside temperature.
DRINK: PUMPKIN MILKSHAKE
1/2 cup evaporated milk
2 scoops vanilla ice cream
1/2 teaspoon pumpkin pie spice
1/4 cup pureed pumpkin
Blend ingredients in blender until smooth. Serves one.
You’ll find everything you need on this list.
Avocados are about 22% fat, with the average medium size avocado containing 300 calories and 30 grams of fat.
EPILOGUE
Whew. Now we’re done. No wait, there’s more: I run a web site at www.grocerylists.org which is, of course, the world’s largest online collection of found grocery lists. This book features about 300 of the best, but you can see a couple thousand more on the site. If you want to be part of this project you can contribute yours or any lists you find at the store by e-mailing scans to [email protected]. Who knows, I may do another book someday—so if you want your contribution considered for publication please send the actual lists to:
Grocerylists.org
P.O. Box 752
St. Louis, MO 63188
And remember, if you eat baby meat that means you are a cannibal. So don’t eat baby meat. The end.
INDEX
A&W Root Beer, 63
Absolut vodka, 40, 213
Ace hose holder, 51
adhesive clips, 117
Ajax, 144
Alka-Seltzer, 35, 162
All-Bran cereal, 74, 75
almond butter, 212
almond flavoring, 101
almonds, 35, 206, 211, 212
aloo, 107
aluminum foil, 125
American cheese, 221
apple juice, 23, 63, 144, 159, 212
apple pie, 206
apple sauce, 6, 23, 31, 82, 221
apples, 6, 20, 26, 65, 76, 90, 96, 106, 108, 146, 160, 170, 180, 211, 213
apricots, 150
Aquafina bottled water, 140
aroma, 165
asparagus, 10, 11, 70, 148
aspirin, 8
ass soap, 6
ass-pair-agus, 11
au gratin potatoes, 63
avocados, 48, 90, 206
baby carrott, 60
baby corn, 211
baby meat, 227
bacon, 56, 97, 98 106, 206, 212
Bacon Bits, 192
bagels, 80, 85, 131
baggies, 22, 102, 209
baguette, 10
Bailey’s Irish cream, 37
baking powder, 167, 189
baking soda, 70, 189, 212
balony, 76
balsamic vinegar, 211
banana cake, 206
ba
nana’s, 81
bananas, 6, 23, 34, 65, 66, 67, 70, 74, 75, 76, 80, 81, 90, 106, 124, 140, 146, 164, 168, 174, 180, 185, 193, 211, 214, 227
banans, 66, 75
banansns, 67
bannanas, 80
bannans, 66
bannas, 65
bannes, 65
baseball signed by
Yankees, 200
basil, 20
Bass ale, 37, 87
bath soap, 6, 58, 191
bathroom cleaner, 26
bathroom spray, 108
batteries, 43, 57, 92, 211, 221
BBQ chips, 144
BBQ sauce, 35
beans, 74, 155, 214
bear, 102
bee trap, 12
beef, 98
beef stew, 75
beens, 74
beer, 7, 10, 11, 14, 16, 18, 37, 38, 41, 42, 69, 80, 87, 99, 102, 113, 143, 180, 183, 192, 193, 195, 205
bell peppers, 212
berry bar’s, 61
Bic lighter, 50
bird seed, 34, 73, 132, 212
birfday kard, 73
biscuits, 164, 177
Bisquick, 6, 57, 77
bleach, 195
bleu cheese, 211
blow, 5
Blue Bonnet margarine, 213
blueberries, 133
bnana, 64
Boca Burgers, 6
body wash, 125
bologna, 76, 211, 213
bottled water, 16, 37
bouillon, 186
bourbon, 4
boxes, 146
bran, 94
bran flakes, 83
bratwurst, 30, 42
brat buns, 61
bread, 6, 9, 14, 16, 18, 23, 26, 28, 47, 48, 53, 56, 57, 59, 63, 66, 68, 70, 72, 75, 76, 80, 82, 87, 106, 122, 125, 126, 128, 129, 131, 132, 139, 140, 150, 153, 155, 157, 164, 168, 171, 179, 183, 192, 195, 211, 213, 214, 217, 219
bread crumbs, 211
breakfast, 93
breakfast bars, 64
broccoli, 6, 15, 23, 31, 66, 106, 137, 139, 160, 169, 170, 211, 214
broccolie, 66
broth, 75, 102, 109, 137, 211
brown sugar, 6
brownie mix, 70, 179
brownies, 76
brushes, 6
bubbles, 103
Bud Light beer, 16, 87, 143
bug spray, 16
buns, 11, 15, 16, 28, 39, 40, 42, 55, 56, 61, 64, 80, 125, 137, 140, 177, 182, 183, 185, 214
burd fude, 73
Busch Light beer, 180
Busquit, 57
buster, 129
buta, 47
buter, 73
butter, 5, 6, 15, 20, 31, 33, 47, 68, 73, 80, 87, 96, 103, 104, 159, 179, 211, 212, 217
buttermilk, 8, 74, 221
buttmilk, 8
cabbage, 148, 214
cabich, 214
Caesar salad, 71
Caffeine Free Diet Coke, 19
cake, 155, 162
cake mix, 35, 223
California Blend, 178
California sourdough
bread, 38
Campbell’s Soup, 137, 195
candles, 145
candy, 7, 9, 13, 15, 18, 103, 137, 182, 190
candy corn, 76
canned food, 18
cans, 85
cantaloupe, 81, 85, 94
Cap’n Crunch, 15
car seat, 92
caramel, 55
cards, 1, 8, 32, 51, 73
Carmex, 62
carrot top, 94
carrots, 6, 7, 55, 60, 70, 94, 102, 106, 108, 137, 164, 211, 212
cashews, 61
cat, 21
cat food, 82
cat treats, 34, 181, 212
cataloupe, 81, 94
catsup, See ketchup
cauliflower, 94, 139
ceareal, 59
celery, 11, 65, 82, 106, 117, 146, 213, 214
cellophane, 5
ceral, 214
cereal, 5, 6, 9, 10, 15, 16, 18, 30, 35, 56, 59, 70, 74, 75, 82, 83, 84, 85, 128, 133, 145, 150, 163, 171, 177, 179, 190, 209, 211, 213, 214, 219
cerel, 84
champagne, 42
charco liter, 73
charcoal, 41
cheap meat, 171
cheddar cheese, 18, 34, 35, 63, 70, 91
Cheerios, 6, 83
chees, 214
cheese, 6, 10, 16, 18, 21, 29, 34, 35, 55, 60, 61, 70, 76, 81, 85, 87, 90, 91, 93, 96, 98, 120, 132, 137, 160, 161, 162, 164, 177, 179, 180, 183, 190, 209, 211, 212, 213, 214, 219, 221
cheese and crackers, 108, 113
cheese in a can, 177
cheeseburger macaroni, 47
cheesesticks, 102, 106, 107
cheess, 55
Cheetos balls, 101
cherries, 133
Chevy Chase autograph, 201
Chicago Sun-Times, 138
chicken, 10, 15, 31, 42, 68, 90, 99, 107, 164, 213, 214, 221
chicken tenders, 15, 140, 192
chili, 16, 211
chippage, 9
chips, 9, 11, 14, 16, 28, 31, 34, 35, 37, 39, 40, 47, 61, 63, 65, 85, 93, 101, 129, 129, 144, 155, 179, 182, 193, 195, 211, 212, 219
chives, 213
chocolate, 37, 96, 179, 211
chocolate chips, 20, 144
chocolate milk, 20, 28, 34, 61, 190
chocolate raisins, 9, 212
chocolate syrup, 155
cider, 108
cigarettes, 26, 52, 58, 84, 173, 177, 180, 181, 183
cilantro, 94
Claritin, 15
Clorox, 22, 180
Clorox wipes, 211
CLR, 4
Coca-Cola, 16, 26, 35, 63, 70, 137, 144, 180, 213
cocktail sauce, 40
cocoa, 107, 109, 195, 211, 213
coffee, 4, 6, 19, 59, 64, 74, 83, 99, 103, 106, 173, 189, 195, 211, 213
coffee cups, 186
coffee filters, 32, 214
Coffee-Mate, 195, 213
Cointreau, 40
Coks Korner, 73
Colby cheese, 191
cold cutts, 23
coleslaw, 30, 40
Colgate, 12
condiments, 87
conditioner, 11, 49
condoms, 195
cookies, 18, 32, 35, 59, 61, 76, 80, 150, 179, 190, 213, 219
Cool Whip, 21
Coors Light beer, 7
corn, 6, 9, 11, 31, 104, 142
corn meal, 211
corn oil, 195
cottage cheese, 60, 64, 133, 162, 212
cough drops, 75, 174
Count Chocula cereal, 5
crackers, 12, 62, 69, 73, 177, 211, 214
cranberries, 223
cranberry sauce, 145, 206
creakers, 62
cream, 10, 107, 221
cream cheese, 82, 165, 209, 213, 223
Cream of Wheat, 128
creamed chicken, 2
creamer, 5, 60, 103, 137, 173, 214
Create a Meal, 49
Crisco vegetable oil, 85
Crystal Light, 213
cucumbers, 70, 82, 94, 101, 106, 219
cumin, 221
cup, 67
cup of noodles, 195
cupcakes, 7
danish rolls, 99
dates, 98
decaffeinated coffee, 106
decaffeinated tea, 167
deli stuff, 106
dental tape, 154
denture bath, 45
deodorant, 26, 127, 191
desert, 40
Desitin, 121, 171
detergent, 111, 195
detergent liquid, 49
Dhanya, 107
Dial Gold soap, 191
diapers, 1, 57, 164, 212
Diet Coke, 19, 93, 126, 211, 213
diet cream soda, 6
Diet Mountain Dew, 63
Diet Pepsi, 4, 9, 213, 221
diet soda, 26
Ding Dongs, 15
dinner, 124, 126, 133, 174, 211; See
also supper
Dinty Moore, 193
dip, 212
dish soap, 6, 49, 61, 72, 107, 190, 211
dog, 21, 197
dog food, 126, 133, 144, 192, 213
dog toothbrush, 6
dog treats, 6, 212
donuts, 211, 221
Doritos, 16, 31
Doritos Cooler Ranch, 31
douche, 170
Downy laundry
detergent, 170
Dr Pepper, 16, 60, 225
Drano, 126
drier shetes, 73
drugs, 18
duct tape, 212
edamame, 142, 211
egg noodles, 75
EggBeaters, 192
eggplant, 94, 211, 212
eggplant parmesan, 2
eggs, 2, 10, 14, 16, 18, 21, 26, 33, 34, 68, 96, 97, 98, 106, 107, 108, 109, 154, 155, 157, 160, 161, 170, 177, 179, 192, 212, 217, 219
enchilada sauce, 70
endive, 96
Endust, 95
Enfamil Nutramigen, 52
Entenmann’s, 211
evaporated milk, 104, 107, 137, 214, 225
eye stuff, 109
face soap, 6
fagiolini, See string beans
fake eggs, 6
Fantastico, 27
Fat Tire beer, 87
Febreze, 49, 182
feta cheese, 190
Fiberall, 45, 102
fig bars, 212
Fig Newtons, 6
film, 77
fire wood, 115
fish, 8, 41, 139, 144, 160
fish eye, 151
fish sticks, 178, 214
flashlight, 145
flashlight bulbs, 186
Fleet Bowel Prep, 133
floor cleaner, 6
floss picks, 4
flour, 51, 77, 219
flour tortillas, 35, 81
foil, 51
foil pans, 144
food, 134, 205
freezer bags, 26, 73, 189
French beans, 107
french fries, 55, 56, 64, 178, 214
Freschetta pizza, 60
Frigidaire, 211
Fritos corn chips, 85
frosting, 35
frozen food, 5, 6, 20, 23, 26, 57, 59, 61, 63, 70, 106, 139, 169, 191, 214
frozen meals, 5
frozen orange juice, 26, 57
frozen vegetables, 106, 214
fruit, 16, 42, 51, 109, 128, 131, 139, 144, 162, 168, 170, 171, 211, 213, 214, 217
fruit bits, 6