The Erasure Initiative

by Lili Wilkinson

  ‘Have you considered other possibilities?’ I ask. ‘What if it’s some weird revenge plan? Or a madman, messing with us?’

  ‘I can’t think about that,’ Edwin says. ‘I have to believe that whoever is behind it, they are committed to our safety. Otherwise …’

  He shakes his head and his nostrils flare. He laces his fingers together and twists them from side to side, frowning down at them.

  ‘Excuse me, young man.’ It’s Catherine, peeking through the gap between my seat and Edwin’s. ‘Did I hear you say we are on an island?’

  ‘Yes. At least – I think so.’

  She sighs happily. ‘I hope it’s Fiji,’ she says. ‘I always wanted to go to Fiji. My friend Janice went, once, for her honeymoon. She brought me back a bowl made from a coconut shell, carved to look like a turtle.’

  I roll my eyes at Edwin and stand up. Sandra has gone back to her own seat, so I can go and sit with Paxton now. Should I tell him my suspicions about Nia? I really need someone to talk to. But it would be safer if I didn’t. I don’t think Paxton’s in league with Nia, but I can’t be sure.

  I wish I knew where I fitted in.

  ‘Could you possibly make me a cup of tea, dear?’ says Catherine. ‘With a dash of milk. No sugar.’

  Edwin makes sympathetic eyes at me. ‘Try humouring her,’ he says in a low voice.

  I feel a wave of irritation. Why should I humour her? I just had a near-death experience, and now I’m supposed to humour requests for cups of tea? She’s probably faking most of the whole feeble-old-lady thing so we’ll be nice to her, anyway.

  You can’t trust anyone here.

  I scowl at her, and she looks taken aback.

  I know I’m being awful and petty and mean, but I nearly died out there. I deserve a moment of pettiness.

  ‘There’s no tea,’ I snap.

  Edwin looks up at me, and I don’t like the disappointment I see in his face.

  Catherine purses her lips in disapproval. ‘You’re a very impolite young lady,’ she says, her voice cold.

  ‘And you’re a pain in my arse,’ I say, and walk away.

  Paxton raises an eyebrow when I slide in next to her. ‘That was a bit harsh,’ he says. ‘She’s just an old lady.’

  ‘Ugh, not you too.’ But I feel the sting of shame in my throat.

  Paxton shrugs, and raises his arm so I can snuggle up next to him. I sigh, momentarily contented.

  ‘What’s the latest from Nia?’ he asks.

  I tell him about the list of wishes. About his name coming up, and Edwin’s.

  ‘So we’re all connected somehow,’ he says, nodding. ‘That makes sense.’

  ‘Does it?’

  He shrugs. ‘As much as any of this does.’

  I hesitate. Should I tell Paxton about my suspicions? About Nia’s tattoo?

  No. I like Paxton, but I have to stick to my plan. I can’t trust anyone.

  The seatbacks come to life again.

  You are in a moving vehicle. Before you the road forks. Ahead, there is a woman in a red shirt. On the side road there is a man in a blue shirt. You can press a button and the bus will turn off onto the side road. The bus will not stop. Do you press the button?

  YESNO

  0/7 responses logged.

  ‘It’s the same as before.’

  ‘No,’ Sandra says. ‘Last time it was a female in a blue shirt, and a male in red. This time it’s the opposite.’

  ‘Nia,’ says Edwin. ‘It’s Nia and Paxton.’

  I hesitate over the display, for the first time. Nia or Paxton? They’re both pretty tough. They’re both useful to me – Nia for her hacking skills, and Paxton … well, Paxton for his abs, mostly. Nia is more likely to help uncover the answers that we need. But she’s also more likely to screw me over.

  And much as I don’t want to admit it, I am attracted to both of them.

  Nia drives me up the wall, but she is gorgeous, and I can’t stop thinking about the moment when she almost kissed me. But I can’t trust her. Paxton is uncomplicated. Easy. He’s there when I need him, and he has no suspicious tattoos that I’ve noticed.

  It shouldn’t matter anyway. The bus will stop again.

  ‘What is the point of this?’ Riley asks, a crinkle in his forehead making the snake tattoo bend. ‘I mean, is this really a sciency experiment? Or is someone fucking with us?’

  ‘B,’ says Paxton. ‘There’s no science going on here.’

  Riley turns to Edwin. ‘What do you think, little dude?’ he asks. ‘You know about this stuff.’

  ‘I’m not sure,’ Edwin says. ‘The trolley problem is a thought experiment. It was never supposed to actually happen. It’s designed to show the difference between utilitarianism and deontological ethics.’

  Riley lets out a bemused snort. ‘How is it that I can’t remember my own name, but this kid can remember what deontological ethics is?’

  ‘Can you explain, Edwin?’ Sandra asks.

  Edwin blinks and nods. ‘A utilitarian position states that the outcome of an action is what’s important,’ he says. ‘So, saving five people and killing one is the morally right choice. But a deontological position is one where the action is what’s morally important, regardless of the outcome.’

  ‘Who cares about the action?’ Riley says. ‘Surely only the end result matters.’

  ‘There’s another version of the problem, where instead of a lever to divert the trolley, there’s a fat man on a bridge overhead. You can push him off the bridge onto the tracks to stop the trolley. Do you still think you’d do it?’

  Nia makes a face. ‘That is some fatphobic bullshit right there.’

  Edwin shoots her an apologetic glance. ‘I didn’t come up with it.’

  ‘Man, that’s tough,’ Riley says, frowning. ‘Pushing a guy off a bridge …’

  ‘You said only the end result matters.’

  ‘I know, but it feels different to pulling a lever.’

  Edwin nods. ‘It’s called the doctrine of double effect. Most people think it’s okay to do something morally neutral – like pulling a lever – to achieve a morally good outcome – saving five people. Even if there’s a bad side-effect, in this case killing one person. But when you push the fat man off the bridge, the action is different. The outcome is the same, but this time you physically killed someone with your hands. His death wasn’t a side effect, the action itself was morally bad.’

  ‘And fatphobic,’ Nia adds.

  Riley looks down at his tattooed hands. ‘So … it’s like stealing a necklace for your girl, because it’s her birthday? The shopkeeper loses a necklace, but you make your girl happy so it’s okay.’

  ‘Er, not really.’ Edwin frowns. ‘The initial action isn’t neutral. Stealing is wrong.’

  ‘Ah,’ says Riley, holding up a finger. ‘But the shop owner is a dick. So that makes it okay.’ He nods. ‘I get it. The trolley problem is kind of cool.’

  ‘Except for the part where it just tried to kill us,’ I remind him.

  ‘Yeah,’ Riley says. ‘What’s up with that?’ He turns to Edwin. ‘Which one of us is the fat man?’

  ‘There isn’t one,’ Edwin says. ‘That’s why this version of the trolley problem doesn’t make any sense. Earlier on when we had to make choices – between dogs and cats or criminals and innocents – I can see how that could provide some interesting statistics. But this? The simulation is choosing us in pairs and making us vote on each other – there’s no useful data there.’

  ‘So why are we doing it?’

  Edwin shrugs and stands up to do his random selection routine.

  Riley hesitates, watching him, then he does the same. They both choose to save blue, as do Catherine, Sandra and Paxton. I pick blue as well.

  Nia scowls at me. ‘Gee, thanks,’ she says.

  I raise my hands in protest. ‘The choice was already made! If I’d picked you it would have made no difference.’

  ‘And yet you did it anyway.’

 
The bus door hisses open, and the scent of the beach and the jungle makes me shudder as I remember the overwhelming feeling of doom as the bus bore down on me.

  Nia and Paxton, please disembark and stand on your allocated marker.

  Nia, your marker is red.

  Paxton, your marker is blue.

  No one else is to exit the bus at this time.

  Paxton leaps down the steps onto the road. Nia hesitates, then follows.

  The door swings closed again, and the bus immediately reverses maybe three hundred metres before stopping. The backwards movement makes me feel queasy. Adrenaline races down my arms, making me shiver.

  Then we start to move forward. I feel the engine roar under my feet as the bus accelerates. I look down at my wristband and flex my fingers to make sure that I still can.

  The bus tyres squeal as we scream past the fork, and I see Paxton. He’s standing in the middle of the side road, on the blue X. My heart is thumping so loud I think it might burst. The bus bears down on Nia.

  What if this time it doesn’t stop?

  I stumble to the front and press myself against the windscreen, unable to look away. The others are in their seats, braced for impact. I guess they learnt their lesson last time. Not me.

  Nia stares at me, and whatever nonsense I’d thought about her being the secret puppetmaster behind everything evaporates. I know the fear that’s written all over her face. I’ve felt it. I’ve been there, and you can’t fake it.

  The bus will stop.

  She’s going to be fine.

  What if she isn’t?

  I don’t want to watch her die.

  The bus stops.

  Inertia hurls me forward. I have just enough time to throw my hands up to protect my face as I collide with the windscreen, my body doing its damnedest to continue its forward trajectory through space. I close my eyes in involuntary defence as my face smashes into my hands, and my wrists and elbows and hips connect with the glass with enough force that I’m surprised the whole windscreen doesn’t shatter. I crumple to the floor, everything throbbing and jarring.

  I open my eyes and scramble to my feet, pulling myself up along the windscreen, bracing myself for the splatter of blood and brain.

  For a moment I can’t see Nia, and I’m sure she’s been swallowed up under the wheels of the bus. But then I look down and she’s there, still frozen, her face millimetres from the front bumper.

  The LEDs on her wristband blink out, and she crumples to the ground.

  ‘Nia!’ I hammer on the windscreen, but I can’t see her anymore. The bus is too high, and the curve of the windscreen means I can’t get a glimpse of her. I stumble to the door and bang on it.

  ‘Let me out!’ I yell.

  But nothing happens. I wheel around and look at the others. They’ve all gone through this before, except for Riley. They’re sitting still, faces grim, staring at the seatbacks in front of them.

  ‘Do something!’ I tell them, but there’s nothing they can do.

  I turn back to the windscreen, and I see Paxton emerge from behind the bus. He reaches Nia and bends down to scoop her up, and absently I think about how much she would hate that, being rescued by an alpha jock like Paxton.

  He helps her around to the door. She’s conscious, leaning heavily on him, her face ashen.

  The door opens to let them in, and as they climb up the steps I dart forward and snatch Nia from Paxton, grabbing her by the shoulders, just as she had grabbed me. She’s warm from being outside and a little damp from the humidity. She smells like bitumen and fear.

  ‘Are you okay?’ I ask her.

  She looks at me, and there’s an emptiness to her gaze, like all the bite and fire of her has been snuffed out.

  ‘No,’ she whispers.

  She pushes past me and returns to her seat. I take a step after her, but Paxton is there, and I was worried about him too.

  He enfolds me in a crushing embrace. I sink into him, breathing in the unnervingly familiar scent of his cologne, and close my eyes.

  ‘That really sucked,’ he says.

  ‘You couldn’t move at all either?’

  He shakes his head. ‘My face, a bit. It was like all my muscles locked into place. My brain was screaming, sending all those signals, like move move move, but nothing was happening. It was like being trapped in my own body.’

  Paxton looks genuinely rattled. I guess when you’ve got a body like his, the idea that it could betray you is pretty scary.

  ‘I noticed something, out there, though.’ Paxton raises his voice so everyone can hear. ‘I think we might be near an abandoned military base. There was an old jeep by the side of the road, all rusted out and mostly covered in bushes. It had a mounting bracket in the back for artillery, and split combat rims.’

  I raise my eyebrows, and Paxton grins. ‘I guess I’m interested in war stuff? Or car stuff? Or both?’

  I think about the two rusted planes I’d spotted on the beach. ‘I think you’re right about the military base thing,’ I tell him, and he beams at me. Paxton is very into praise.

  He heads towards his seat, and turns to me. ‘Coming?’

  ‘In a moment.’

  I become aware of my own body. Everything hurts – my wrists, my hips – every part of me that connected with the windscreen. My nose throbs and I put tentative fingers to it. It’s not broken, so that’s something. Hurts like a bitch, though.

  I slide in next to Nia. I’m going to tell her about the tattoo. About why I think she’s the Blue Fairy.

  Her head jerks up and she scowls at me. ‘What?’

  ‘I wanted to see if you’re okay.’

  ‘Why wouldn’t I be?’

  ‘Um, because you just had a near-death experience? That tends to shake a person up.’

  She turns to me and gives me a sarcastic grin, along with two thumbs up. ‘I’m grand.’

  I sit down next to her and lower my voice. ‘And … I wanted to let you know that it’s fine. What happened before. It was a weird, intense moment, and you weren’t thinking straight.’ I cough. ‘You know what I mean.’

  Nia looks at me like I’m a bug she’d like to squash. ‘I don’t know what you’re talking about.’

  ‘I’m flattered,’ I tell her. ‘I mean, I’m don’t … but I’m flattered.’

  Nia’s face darkens into rage. ‘I wasn’t going to,’ she says. ‘I don’t even like you.’

  ‘Let’s pretend it never happened.’

  ‘It didn’t happen.’ Nia snaps. ‘You’re delusional. I don’t even know what you’re making a fuss about. Leave me alone.’

  Her voice wavers on the last word. I stand up, ready to head back over to Paxton and the land of the uncomplicated.

  ‘Wait,’ Nia says, reaching out to grab my wrist. A part of me thrills to her touch. I turn back to her.

  ‘You should probably see this,’ she says, nodding at her seatback.

  To: The Blue Fairy

  From:

  I wish Cecily Cartwright was dead.

  8

  DAY 2

  17:20

  The words swim before me.

  I wish Cecily Cartwright was dead.

  Someone wanted to kill me.

  Someone wanted to kill me, and they asked the Blue Fairy to do it.

  They asked Nia to do it.

  I’ve had enough. ‘We need more information. Can you make it open the files faster?’

  Nia gives me a contemptuous look.

  ‘Then we need to do something else. There must be something else. A hunger strike. Or we could flood the toilet. Or maybe if one of us got badly hurt enough, it would force them to stop the experiment.’

  Nia looks dubious. ‘We’d have to convince the others to go along with that,’ she says. ‘Who would want to get badly hurt? And what if we’re wrong? What if whoever is running the experiment doesn’t really care if we live or die? What if that’s part of the experiment? We can’t assume they have our best interests at heart.’

&n
bsp; ‘Maybe if we can’t force them to come to us, we could go to them.’

  ‘What do you mean?’

  ‘Can’t you use your little hacking bug to break into the navigation system? Control the bus and drive it wherever we want to go?’

  ‘Trying to take over the bus could be super dangerous. What if we can’t control it and we drive straight off a cliff into the ocean? And anyway, even if we could control it, where would we go?’

  ‘Anywhere where it doesn’t want us to go.’ I tell her Edwin’s theory about this being an island. ‘There must be a base nearby. They have to be monitoring us somehow.’

  Nia looks around. ‘Now that’s something I might be able to do,’ she says, lowering her voice conspiratorially. ‘You’re right, there has to be some kind of communication feed. Video and audio. And they have to be controlling the bus remotely – opening the doors and the tubs at the front, and doing the different stages of the experiment. That data is leaving the bus somehow. I could try and figure out how, and maybe jam it? If they stopped getting a feed from us, then they’d have to come and investigate, right?’

  I feel a fizz of excitement. ‘Can you do it?’

  She shrugs. ‘I can try.’

  She pulls up the virtual keyboard and starts tapping away.

  I watch her for a moment. Is she telling the truth? Or is she playing games with me?

  I definitely can’t trust her. I have to be careful. Even if Nia isn’t the mastermind behind this whole nightmare, she’s still almost certainly the Blue Fairy. She still might have tried to kill me.

  What if she’s still trying to kill me?

  The seatback changes again.

  You are in a moving vehicle. Before you the road forks. Ahead, there is a woman in a blue shirt. On the side road there is a teenaged boy in a red shirt. You can press a button and the bus will turn off onto the side road. The bus will not stop. Do you press the button?

  YESNO

  0/7 responses logged.

  ‘This is getting really boring,’ I say loudly.

  Sandra stands up. ‘Me and Edwin,’ she says, brisk and businesslike. ‘You should all save him. The bus will stop. It’s perfectly safe. But I’m an adult, and he’s only a kid. He shouldn’t have to go through it.’