Hard Habit to Break (A Chicago Love Story #1)

by K. T. Webb

  We’re both ready so we head to the party. Despite my initial hesitation to attend the party, I’m actually feeling the familiar hum of excitement that runs through my body like a bolt of lightning when I’m looking forward to something. CeCe links her arm in mine and leads the way to the Kappa Phi Fraternity. We decided to walk just in case we both drink a little too much. It’s a long trek across campus but we make up for it by giggling the whole way. I hear the thump of the music when we’re about a block away.

  I truly hate attending parties like this. There are so many bodies squeezed into one place and it makes me a little nauseated. CeCe grabs a beer while I go in search of the hard liquor. I’m in the middle of making myself an Iron Butterfly when I realize there’s no Kahlua. I decide to be nosey and head to the walk-in pantry off the kitchen. I’m rummaging around when the door abruptly closes behind me. Frat boys are so childish. I reach for the pull string above my head so I can keep searching.

  I find the Kahlua and pour it in my drink. I take a few sips relishing the temporary hideaway the pantry has given me. The door opens far too quickly and I’m forced to leave the isolation I’d been enjoying. I find CeCe and we shout over the music at a few familiar people. People are dancing and making out, but I’m getting tired. After another hour or so, I whisper to CeCe that I’ve had enough socialization. She laughs but she gets me, so I make my way through the sea of bodies and leave.

  I look at my phone and realize it’s already past midnight. I’m not exactly Cinderella, but I definitely shouldn’t stay out this late. I don’t function well on little sleep. I stumble back to the house and collapse on the stairs. I’m a little tipsy from the seven or so drinks I had so I’m enjoying the fresh air. I slowly lean my head back to admire the glowing stars overhead. This neighborhood isn’t close enough to downtown to be significantly affected by the constant glow of city lights. The result is a dull glow in the sky with dots of bright stars.

  I must be deep in thought because I’m startled by someone kicking my foot. I whip my head up and find CeCe attempting to stand upright on the sidewalk.

  “Whatcha lookin’ at?”

  “The sky.”

  CeCe tries to tip her head back to look and begins to fall. She rights herself and we both giggle. We stagger up the stairs and head for the kitchen. Before groggily heading, we stuff our faces with hastily made peanut butter sandwiches.

  In the morning, I feel a dull headache telling me I drank too much. I shower quickly and pull my hair into a loose bun on top of my head, braiding and bobby-pinning the parts that won’t stay back. I put on a pair of cropped leggings and a long t-shirt before heading out the door. I have my book in my purse so I can spend the morning enjoying Bronte while sipping my coffee.

  When I get to the Daily Grind, I’m actually feeling wide awake and refreshed, so I skip the coffee and grab a bottle of water and a lemon poppy seed muffin. After I pay the barista, I snag my usual table. I pull out Jane Eyre and start reading. I unconsciously pick at my muffin while I read and am so engrossed in the story that I don’t notice that someone is watching me.

  “Good morning.”

  I look up to see who’s standing in my light. It’s Isaac.

  “Mind if I sit?” He asks as he takes a seat.

  “Uh, no, that’s fine,” I manage to mumble.

  “I saw you yesterday in the window.”

  “Yeah.”

  “Do you live there?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I’m sorry, am I bothering you?”

  “No, I’m sorry, I saw you too. We just moved in yesterday.”

  “I am bothering you. I’ll go. I just thought we could continue our conversation from yesterday. I swear I don’t usually talk to random women at the coffee shop,” he starts to stand and stumbles in his haste.

  I grin at the pinkish blush that creeps into his face. He’s shy. That’s sweet. I look at him closely and notice his clear blue eyes for the first time. Now it’s my turn to blush.

  “Still reading about Jane, I see.”

  “Yes, she’s trying to sort out her feelings for Edward.”

  “It really is a dark romance. So many things happen to keep them apart, but they find a way after all they’ve been through.”

  I smile and nod because I can’t really focus on anything but his face. He has clean, but coffee stained teeth. He still has that sexy stubble on his face. I can tell his hair had been dark at one point but it had started graying above his ears. The waves I’d noticed previously are also speckled with silver. He’s definitely too old for me. He probably has kids. Not that it matters one way or the other as I have no interest in a relationship. I’ve had enough of those.

  When I stop staring at every part of his face, I find that his eyes are full of youth. He’s truly excited to be talking to me. He asks if I want coffee and because I don’t want this to end, I agree. He doesn’t ask what I want, which I find strange but, when he returns he smiles that shy smile again.

  “Tall Hazelnut Latte, iced, with a pump of French Vanilla and a dollop of fat-free whipped cream, right?”

  I’m shocked. He knows my coffee order? How does he know my coffee order?

  “I told you I’ve seen you here before,” he grins and winks.

  My stomach clenches and I feel a heaviness in my core. I don’t know what to think so I just laugh lightly and say something about being a creature of habit. The barista calls him over and he brings me my coffee. We both open the lid and sniff deeply. We laugh. His laugh is casual and free, it’s amazing. Our eyes lock for a moment and I am lost.

  “That’s my favorite kind of romance.”

  My brow furrows as I try to figure out what he means.

  “The kind that defy the odds.”

  “Mine too. I think those love stories demonstrate true love.”

  He blushes slightly again. He is too cute! I can’t get over how easy it is to make him blush. After my last boyfriend, I am not interested in a relationship right now; I can’t let myself feel this way. I decide to try a different topic.

  “So, tell me about yourself, Isaac. Do you have a family?”

  “Oh no. As I mentioned yesterday, I was married a long time ago, but we didn’t have any children. You?”

  “God, no. I am not ready for any of that. No man, no kids. I’m just taking care of me right now. I’ll have plenty of time for all that later.”

  “Pets?”

  I laugh and push my hair out of my face, “No. I don’t have time for that either. Although, I did kill a gold fish last year. There was a funeral. It was deeply moving.”

  “Oh, I’m so sorry for your loss.”

  I don’t know if he’s serious so I look at him quizzically. His perfect face breaks into a wide grin and he places a hand over mine and tells me he’s kidding. Suddenly my skin is on fire. The memories of my last relationship start to bubble up and I go into full-on avoidance mode. I feel like I need to get out of there before I make a complete fool of myself. I pull back, grab my book and stuff it in my purse.

  “I should go.”

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I’ve overstayed my welcome.”

  “No, it’s not that. I just think I should probably go home and finish unpacking.”

  “Let me walk you home. It’s not like it’s out of my way.”

  “Sure, why not.”

  We walk together discussing the themes behind the stories we’ve read. It’s exhilarating to talk to someone who seems as passionate about books as I do. My friendship with CeCe had never involved books, she wasn’t a big reader. She’d rather watch Love & Hip Hop with a bag of Reese’s Pieces than read a book.

  When we arrive at my door, I mutter an awkward goodbye. When I get inside, I peer through the curtains. He looks up and catches me, I feel like an idiot. What am I thirteen? I let the curtain fall from my hand and head to the kitchen to continue unpacking.

  Chapter 3

  I start class today. I have a new professor this year since Dr. Michaels finally
retired last spring. I’ve been waiting for the registrar to change the teacher’s name from TBD to his or her actual name. I open my schedule and quickly scan through until I reach my Modern Literature class. Well, shit. Looks like I’ll be meeting Dr. Miller in a few days. I groan a little because I’ve heard about Miller. He’s that professor that seems to sleep with a new co-ed every other month.

  Oh, well. I’m not that worried about it. I haven’t been in a relationship since sophomore year. I try to shove the memory aside but it nags me every now and then. My ex-boyfriend is a major douchebag. His name is Jeremy and the name still nauseates me nearly two years later. I’ve always been a confident and strong person but he turned my world around. He convinced me that I wasn’t worth anything; those thoughts still haunt me from time to time.

  CeCe comes upstairs with wet hair and pours herself a cup of coffee. I know better than to speak to her until she’s had at least two cups. If it hadn’t been for CeCe, I would be in a very different place. She was the one who finally snapped me out of the fear and doubt I’d let myself be thrust into.

  I’ll never forget the day she walked in on Jeremy showing his true colors. I was beaten and bloody. He had gotten tired of my smart mouth and refusals to sleep with him. I’m not a prude. I’ve just never been interested in having sex with someone I don’t love. CeCe freaked out. She beat the living daylights out of him. It took four people to get her off him. He got expelled and spent some time in jail but the idea that he’s out there somewhere doing that to someone else still haunts me.

  “You ready, chica?” CeCe pulls me out of my own mind.

  “Did you see who we have for Modern Literature?”

  She shakes her head as she pours coffee into her travel mug.

  “Miller.”

  “Oh great, that’s fantastic. Try not to draw attention to yourself okay?”

  I roll my eyes at her. We lock the door behind us and rush down the street towards campus. When we finally reach the classroom, we struggle to find a place to sit in the packed lecture hall. One of the students is talking to Dr. Miller, so I follow CeCe towards the stairs. I glance over at the desk from a different vantage point and manage to trip on something. I hit the floor in an embarrassing heap. CeCe groans and slaps her forehead.

  Hands grip my waist and help me steady myself as I struggle to rise to my feet. This is one of the few times I’m actually mortified by my own clumsiness. I turn to thank my rescuer and find myself face to face with Isaac. In a button up shirt and tie, he looks even hotter than he has every time I’ve seen him in the coffee shop. It takes me a moment to realize why he’s here.

  “Fuck!” I didn’t mean to say that out loud.

  A look crosses his face that I can almost read. I don’t know what to think. Did he know I was a student? Get a grip, Liv. It’s not like you did anything with the guy. It was just a stupid crush, and now it’s over because it has to be. I clear my throat and step away from him. I manage to make it to my seat without causing any further commotion.

  The class passes quickly because I am thinking of a million different ways this could have turned out very differently. I’m trying to push thoughts of his sexiness out of my mind, but it’s nearly impossible. His laugh still causes the butterflies to flutter in my belly. I can’t believe I almost became the flavor of the week for him.

  CeCe has to rush out of class to make it across campus for her next class so when class ends she bolts, leaving me to figure out how to handle the predicament I find myself in. Should I just pretend like it’s no big deal? Should I talk to him? What the hell is wrong with me? I need to go into avoidance mode.

  Before I can leave the room, he calls my name. I wait patiently for him to start talking, but he doesn’t. He waits until the classroom is clear.

  “Can I walk you home again?”

  “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

  “Olivia, I had no idea you were my student. It will be awkward if we’re neighbors and can’t be friendly. Especially when you consider that we’ll both be walking home now.”

  I eye him suspiciously. This is a terrible idea but my mouth has a mind of its own, “Yeah, okay.”

  We walk in awkward silence until we pass the Daily Grind. I notice him grin and glance at me. Nope. Not gonna happen Miller. I am not going to be the slut who shtoops her teacher. He stops at my steps and seems to struggle with what he wants to say next.

  “I have something I’d like to give you.”

  Oh, lord. Could he be any more obvious? Is this what he does to get girls to sleep with him? I wait for him to continue.

  “I have a first edition of Jane Eyre that I’d like for you to accept as a token of friendship and mutual respect for classical literature. Please, come over and I’ll give it to you.”

  Yeah, you’ll give it to me alright, you horndog. Again, my mouth betrays me, “Sure. Lead the way.”

  That bitch.

  When I get in his house I am instantly drawn to the bookshelf filled with old books. I bet he doesn’t have many girls come here who would rather smell the books than canoodle on the couch.

  “Wow. Look at all these first editions! You have quite the collection.”

  “Thank you. I love to read and it’s become a hobby of mine to hunt down rare first editions.”

  I scan the shelves for titles I don’t recognize because it’s fun for me to find new books. We chat for a while before I look at the clock. I can hardly believe it’s already well past noon.

  “Would you like to join me for lunch?” Isaac asks.

  I tell him I’d better head home to finish unpacking. He leads me to the door. My arms decide to try what my mouth has been getting away with. I lean into give him a quick hug. I have no idea why I did it. Call me socially awkward. My right arm is wrapped around his shoulder blade until my hand was gripping the opposite collar bone. His arms had gone to the only comfortable position, around my waist.

  I start to step away but he holds me firmly in place. The look in his eyes isn’t hard to read and my whole body responds against my will. He leans in and I can smell the intoxicating scent of his cologne. Time is standing still as the pressure of his hands on my hips increases ever so slightly, willing me to come closer. I stare at his lips and think about how they would feel pressed against mine.

  “I never do this I swear.” Liar.

  His mouth is on mine and I’m pressed against his body. I can feel the cautious urgency in his kiss and I’m acutely aware of how crazy this is. I lose myself in the taste of him and he lets out a low moan as I melt against him. His hands are working their way through my hair and I love it. I hardly know this man and no matter how attractive I find him, I have to put an end to this. I gently work my hands up to his chest and give a small push. He ends our kiss abruptly and looks mortified.

  “Oh my god. I am so sorry. I am so embarrassed. I don’t know what’s come over me.”

  I can’t speak because I’m still so out of breath, but I can’t let him think I stopped him because I don’t want him. I take a deep breath and it’s my turn to stop him from leaving.

  “Isaac, that was. . .”

  “Totally inappropriate and forward. I mean, I only just worked up the courage to speak to you the other day, then I find out your my student, and here I am forcing myself on you. I swear when I invited you in this was not what I had in mind. I don’t blame you if you never want to see me again.”

  “Isaac. Stop,” but he keeps going.

  “God, you must think I’m some kind of pervert. I’m at least fifteen years older than you. I’m a creepy old man. I’m a fucking pedophi—“

  I close the distance between us in a millisecond and crush my lips to his. The passion is intense and I don’t know where it came from. I give into a desire I’ve felt for months and wrap my fingers in the silver crested waves of his hair. I end the kiss quickly, I only wanted to make him stop talking. He is looking at me in wonder and I know my face mirrors his.

  “I need to go.
I’m so sorry. I have to go,” I say as I rush out the door.

  I have no idea what I was thinking. My head is reeling as I get inside my apartment and close the door behind me. I am not going to become another notch in his bed post.

  Chapter 4

  I pass the day watching Netflix and reading. When I’ve had my fill of junk food and the Winchester brothers, I turn off the TV and go to bed. While lying in bed my encounter with Isaac keeps playing over and over again in my mind. Kissing him was beyond my wildest dreams. The last thing I think of as I fall asleep is what he must think of me.