Hard Habit to Break (A Chicago Love Story #1)

by K. T. Webb

  In an instant I’m against the shower wall. The air is momentarily knocked out of me but I don’t care. He lifts me and I wrap my legs around him as he lowers me onto him. I’ve never done anything like this and I’m surprised by the sensation. He’s deeper and bigger than he seemed on the couch. He seems pleased by the depth. We’re less gentle this time. He’s got me against the wall and I move up and down with his thrusts. I cry out in pleasure as he picks up the pace.

  “Liv,” Isaac says my name in a moan and claims my mouth.

  The rhythm increases as we both reach climax. I notice that this time, he doesn’t pull out. Something about that makes my orgasm more intense and a cry rips out of me at the intensity of the moment.

  “I’m so sorry,” he says as he realizes what he did.

  “It’s alright. I have an IUD. I’ve had one for a few years, no interest in having kids anytime soon. But, we better get some condoms if this isn’t going to be a one-time-thing,” I laugh.

  We both finish showering without further complications then we head to the bedroom. We lay down on the bed and he holds me in his arms. This is somehow more intimate than sex. He is softly running his fingers up and down my back as I lay with my arm comfortably wrapped around his waist.

  “Tell me about your wife.”

  He clears his throat as though this subject surprises him, “We married young. Right out of high school. She was my first love. We went to college together and started to build our life. She was beautiful. She had deep brown eyes and hair that was almost black. I loved her.”

  “What happened?”

  “She was working late one night and it was snowing. Her car went off the road and she was killed when it struck a tree.”

  I shift so I can see his face, “I’m so sorry.”

  “It was a long time ago. I never looked at another woman like that and I refused to take off my wedding ring. I was still completely committed to her.”

  “You don’t wear a ring now.”

  “No,” he looks intently into my eyes, “I took it off about two months ago. I remember the day well.”

  “What made you do that?”

  Isaac is quiet for a moment as though he’s trying to decide if he should tell me something. That’s when I realize I’m the reason he took it off.

  “I’ve been watching you quietly for a few months; there’s just something about the way you sit on your own reading books that makes you special. It was obvious to me that you didn’t have the patience for that annoying barista and I loved watching the facial expressions you made when she flirted with me.”

  “She’s annoying.”

  “I agree. But, I started to take more notice of you when some guy came up and tried to flirt with you. At first, I’d thought I was just coming back to the Daily Grind for the coffee and the atmosphere. It hadn’t clicked with me that I was intrigued by you until that day. The kid looked like he hadn’t showered in a month and he sounded like one of those kids who’s always high.”

  “I remember him! He did not want to give up,” I laugh.

  “Well, I was getting annoyed with the way he pushed you and almost intervened. You put him in his place before I had to do anything. The jealousy I felt then told me I was finally ready to let Ellen go.”

  “I can’t believe it took you so long to talk to me.”

  “Your age stopped me. I didn’t want to come across as the creepy guy. I could be your dad.”

  “But you’re not.”

  “No, thank god for that.”

  I lean forward and place a kiss on his cheek, “So here we are.”

  His smile makes me feel warm all over, “Yes, here we are. And I don’t want to sound like I’m unhappy about it, but how did we get here? You don’t seem like the type to rush into a relationship.”

  “I’ve been watching you too. At first it was just your cologne and the way you say caramel.”

  “Caramel?”

  I laugh, “Yes, it’s fucking hot.”

  “Caramel,” he whispers.

  “Oh, don’t do that to me unless you’re ready for round three.”

  Now it’s his turn to laugh. He kisses my nose and I kiss his chin. It amazes me how comfortable we are together.

  “I loved that you didn’t notice when the barista flirted with you. You just ordered your coffee and went about your business. You have no idea how hot you are.”

  “I’m hot, huh? I don’t think anyone has ever described me that way.”

  “I think you’d be surprised.”

  “Can I make you breakfast tomorrow morning?”

  “I like eggs. Scrambled. With cheese.”

  “You got it.”

  Isaac gets up and tosses me a t-shirt then pulls on a pair of shorts. He climbs back into bed and pulls me close. I snuggle in and fall asleep within moments.

  Chapter 5

  I open my eyes and look around. It takes me a moment to register where I am. The weight of Isaac’s arm on my waist is comforting and terrifying. I stretch and he pulls me closer and buries his face in my hair. He sighs contentedly and kisses my neck.

  “What was that you said about breakfast?”

  “I said I’d make it, woman!”

  I laugh and he tickles my side. I try to squirm away. He climbs on top of me and continues to attack my ribs. I try to slap his hands away but he grabs my arms and pins them down. Isaac is now straddling me and holding my arms above my head. My heart is beating fast as he leans down, arms resting on either side of my head.

  “I’d better get up or we’ll be here awhile.”

  I lean up and kiss him deeply. He returns the passion I put behind the kiss but ends it gently.

  “I would love nothing more than to stay in bed with you all day.”

  “But, I’m hungry.”

  Isaac kisses me again before getting up and heading downstairs. I get up and gather my clothes from the closet floor. I dress quickly and do my best to make myself presentable. My hair is a mess so I pull it up on top of my head and finish it in a bun. I make my way to the kitchen where I can smell breakfast. I come up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist.

  “You said you were hungry. I made plenty of eggs. With extra cheese.”

  We eat breakfast in silence. I worry that things are going to get awkward so I tell him I have to leave. I’m sure CeCe is wondering where I am and I don’t want to overstay my welcome. I know we’re both interested in more but I don’t know if he’s regretting last night.

  “What do you have planned for today?” He sounds hopeful.

  “I’m going shopping with CeCe.”

  “Damn. Dinner later?”

  “It’s a deal.”

  I give him my number and head back to my apartment. As soon as I walk in the door, I’m ambushed by CeCe. While she starts her concerned tirade, I plug my phone in and power it on. I interrupt her by holding my hand up.

  “Wait, you have to hear where I’ve been before you rip me a new one.”

  I tell her everything. Every detail. She makes excited noises at all the right moments. I finish my tale and she has her hands over her mouth.

  “Oh, my fucking god. You’ve had a fucking three-year dry spell and suddenly you do it twice in one night. With a hot old guy? Holy shit.”

  “He’s not old. He’s older. It’s totally different.”

  “What aren’t you telling me, Olivia?”

  CeCe only uses my full name when she thinks I’m hiding something from her.

  “You better sit down,” I tell CeCe who my mystery guy is.

  “Holy shit. Olivia Lea Hanover! I cannot believe you are letting him use you as his latest conquest. What the hell is wrong with you?”

  “It’s not like that,” I tell her his story.

  “Sounds like a line of bull shit to me, but if you’re happy, I’ll support you. Just don’t forget that I spent a night in jail the last time you had a relationship that didn’t end well.”

  My phone vibrates. I pick it up an
d grin. I gave Isaac my number to give him a chance to back out of our dinner plans, but here he is texting me that he misses me already. CeCe lunges for my phone and pries it from my fingers.

  “Oh, my fucking god, he already misses you?”

  I roll my eyes and take the phone back. While we shop, CeCe makes me go over the story at least two more times pointing out things she missed the first time. We reflect on what happened with Jeremy compared to what happened with Isaac. The feelings were very different. When I was with Isaac I felt safe, I wanted to be with him. The connection I feel with him could turn into something real. But when I was dating Jeremy, I felt pressured to be someone I’m not.

  By the time we finish our excursion and get back home, it’s time for CeCe to leave for work. I’m exhausted. Isaac wants to meet for dinner, but I need to sort through my feelings. So much has happened in the last 48 hours and I’m not sure I’ve processed it all. I send a text to Isaac and let him know I don’t feel like going out. He doesn’t answer for a while and I start to drift off to sleep. My phone buzzes and I know it’s a phone call, so I answer it.

  “Hello?”

  “Hey, Liv,” Isaac says on the other end of the line

  I know I sound groggy when I ask, “What’s up?”

  “Did I wake you?”

  “Yeah, but it’s alright.”

  “Is everything okay, Liv?”

  I tell him that it is, but I don’t say anything else.

  “I knew it,” he says, “You’re totally freaked out. I understand if you regret what happened between us.”

  I feel my stomach tighten at the pain in his voice. I feel terrible for letting him think he was the source of my hesitation.

  “No, Isaac! It’s not that at all. I was surprised by last night, but it was perfect. I just need some time to process things a little. I just didn’t have the greatest experience in my last relationship and I just feel a bit overwhelmed.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “My ex-boyfriend was bad news. I haven’t seen him since my statement put him in jail.”

  “What? Oh my god, Liv. I’m coming over.”

  He hangs up the phone and within moments he’s knocking on the door. I get up from the couch and let him in. He walks in and starts pacing the living room.

  “When did this happen?”

  “Towards the end of my sophomore year.”

  “Jesus, Liv! What happened?”

  I sigh and launch into my story, I decide to tell him every gory detail. How else will he know just how screwed up I am?

  “When I met Jeremy, I was still getting over the sting of my first love deciding to go to college in New York instead of here with me. Jeremy seemed like a sweetheart. I really liked him. He made me laugh. But, after we’d been together for a few months he started to change. I didn’t really see it because I’d built him up to god status in my mind, just like he wanted me to.

  “He started making fun of me for being a klutz, for enjoying school, for studying instead of partying. He convinced me that I needed him in order to be happy. He destroyed my confidence by making me feel like I was nothing before him and would be nothing after him. When I wouldn’t sleep with him. . .”

  Isaac was holding both of my hands and listening intently to every word I said. Other than my parents, CeCe was the only other person in my life who knew what I’d been through with Jeremy. I didn’t know how showing Isaac this vulnerability would help, but he had to know why I was skittish.

  “What did he do to you?”

  I don’t know if I should tell him the details. I don’t want him to think I’m a damsel in distress. I can take care of myself. I take a deep breath and tell him, “He came to my dorm while CeCe was working. He said he wanted to cuddle and watch a movie. Funny thing is, I had actually let him convince me that I was so stupid that I actually started acting like it. We were kissing and he started trying to take my clothes off. I resisted. It was like I suddenly remembered who I was before him, the strong girl who didn’t take crap from anyone. He was stronger than me, though.

  “He beat the tar out of me and was in the process of trying to rape me when CeCe came in. It was like my friend had been replaced by an MMA fighter. She took one look at my bruised and bleeding body and went batshit crazy. She beat him to a bloody pulp and spent a night in jail for her efforts.”

  “If I knew I wouldn’t have been so forward with you. You must think all men are only after one thing.”

  “That’s not fair. I wasn’t exactly expecting, well, any of it. The difference here is how I feel. Jeremy tried to take what he wanted. I chose to be with you, you chose to be with me. The situations are incomparable.”

  He gently pulls me into his arms and tenderly kisses the top of my head.

  “Do you want to watch a movie?” I ask into his chest.

  “Yes, you pick.”

  We snuggle into watch Jane Eyre. He chuckles and pulls me closer to him.

  Chapter 6

  In the two weeks since I started seeing Isaac, I’ve spent most of my free time with him. I look forward to his class because I get to see him in a whole different light when he delivers his lectures. I’ve been doing my best to ignore the ever-present rumors swirling around about who he may be sleeping with this semester. My name hasn’t been brought up so we must be hiding our relationship well.

  I haven’t been able to see Isaac much in the last few days because he’s had meetings with the other department heads to talk about academic ratings and all that. It’s homecoming week so that means there’s a huge campus-wide party tonight. I’m getting ready for a day filled with college fun. It’s our last homecoming and we’ve decided to pretend like we’re the school spirit types and join in.

  My phone buzzes. I have a text message from Isaac, it’s a picture. I pause, wondering if he’s one of those weirdos who sends dick pics. I take a chance and open the message. It’s a picture of his empty bed with a caption, “felt like something was missing.” I send a smiley face back and start to wake CeCe. My phone vibrates again with another picture message When I open it, it’s his empty shower with a caption, “here too.” I send him a blushing emoticon.

  By the time CeCe finally rolls out of bed, we don’t have time for breakfast. As we cross the street to enter campus, my phone alerts me to yet another picture message from Isaac. This time, it’s a picture of his couch with a caption that reads, “my new favorite spot.” I blush and send him a message, “I can’t wait to see you tonight.”

  CeCe and I are almost to the arts building and I’m grinning like an idiot. She doesn’t talk to me because she hasn’t had any coffee yet. We get to the lecture hall and my phone vibrates again. Isaac tells me he can’t wait and adds a winking face. I’m still smiling when we order coffee from a coffee cart on campus.

  “Fuck!” I say much louder than I intended.

  Sitting on a bench across the quad is Jeremy. He has his arm around a girl who could have been my twin. I want to run away immediately. But I also want to walk up to him and tell him I’m not afraid of him. I want to tell the girl to head for the hills. I want to order a hot coffee just so I can throw it in his face. But all I can do is stand frozen.

  “What the hell is he doing here? Isn’t he banned from campus?” CeCe demanded.

  I shake my head because I can’t articulate what I’m thinking. I don’t want to be here. I want to bolt but I don’t want to give him any power over me anymore.

  In a seemingly trance-like state, I walk in their direction. I don’t notice a crack in the cement. In true Liv style, I trip, sprawling across the ground. You have to be kidding me. Before I can hoist myself to my feet, strong hands wrap around my waist. The electricity is undeniable; I know the feel of his hands on my skin. Isaac gently lets go when he’s sure I’m upright. I try desperately to avoid looking at him but I can’t stop myself. Our eyes meet and my stomach drops, he’s looking through me. It’s like he doesn’t want to know me.

  The sting I feel at his
lack of recognition disappears when I notice Dean Price standing beside him.

  “Are you alright, Miss Hanover?” Isaac inquires politely.

  I nod, “I’m okay. I just noticed my ex is here and got a little flustered.”