Blame It on the Pain
Page 35
“And that's where you come in, ladies and gentlemen. You watched the video, you know the facts, you've heard from Jackson Reid yourself. So, knowing what my client knew and being in the same circumstance, would you yourself have had those same beliefs that he did?”
She clears her throat. “But forget all that. I didn't even need to tell you those things in the first place. That's not my real argument, here. Because the only thing I needed to do for this case was let the prosecutors do their job and let you hear their arguments. The prosecution is required to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that Mr. Reid was not justified in doing what he did. And just so we're clear— justified means having done something for a legitimate reason. It's an exception to committing the offense. If the prosecution has failed to prove beyond a reasonable doubt that the defendant was justified, then you the jury must find Mr. Reid not guilty.”
She takes a deep breath. “In closing, I just want to leave you with this. If Lilly was someone that you loved. And you found her beaten and murdered like Mr. Reid did. Would you feel justified doing what he did?”
The bailiffs take me away while the jury deliberates. I was told it would be anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.
To say I was surprised to be called back as soon as I stepped foot outside the courthouse in my shackles would be an understatement.
After we rise for the judge, he calls the court in session and he collects a piece of paper from a member of the jury.
A piece of paper that will determine the rest of my life.
A piece of paper that will determine whether or not I get to spend the rest of my life with Alyssa, my future child, and the rest of my family.
The jury's faces give nothing away.
I wish I could see Alyssa's face one more time, I wish I could see my child growing in her belly.
The thought causes blood to rush in my ears and vertigo plagues me, I want to sit back down because I'm not sure I can stand anymore.
I don't know why Michelle's arms are wrapped around me and she's telling me goodbye, because I'm too distracted by the sound of Momma shouting at the top of her lungs.
Oh, boy. I really hope Momma doesn't try to put a hurtin' on those jurors. Or the judge for that matter, poor guys already frail and old.
I turn around to tell her it will be okay, but both Ricardo and Tyrone's arms are around me next. Their hugging me so tight I almost fall over.
“It's okay, guys,” I tell them. “I'll be okay. Just promise me that you'll take care of Alyssa and the baby for me. Please.”
They pull away and exchange a glance with one another. “Why?” Ricardo says. “You'll be able to do that yourself.”
“What—” I start to say, but my breath leaves my lungs as Momma herself plows into me.
I close my eyes and hug her back. “I knew it would all work out in the end,” she says.
That's when it hits me.
I look at Tyrone for confirmation. I don't even have to get the words out because he looks at me and says, “Not guilty, brother.”
I'm not ashamed to admit, I'm barely holding back tears.
I'm going to be a father to my baby. I'm going to spend my life with Alyssa. I'm going to see my family.
I look at the jury again. And this time, they look at me. “Thank you,” I whisper.
I get a few small smiles before they start to clear out.
The bailiffs unchain me, and Michelle informs me that I'll need to sign off on some paperwork before I'm free to leave.
This time, I'm the one hugging her because I know what's happening. “Thank you and congratulations on winning your first case.”
“You don't need to thank me, Jackson,” she says with a grin. “But thank you for being the most memorable client I'll ever have. Thank you for reminding me why I became a defense attorney in the first place.”
After I sign the paperwork we walk out to the car. It almost feels unreal. The air is fresher, the grass is greener, and I have a sense of peace.
A light breeze flows through the air and I feel Lilly's presence again. I look up to the sky and blow her a kiss.
Then a bird shit's on my head.
Tyrone and Jackson burst out laughing. “Yup, that was definitely Lilly. Totally a little sister move.”
I start laughing with them and it's the greatest feeling because I know that Lilly would find this highly amusing right now.
Momma hands me a napkin and I clean up before I get in the car.
We head back to the apartment complex and I can't get in the door fast enough.
Apparently, Tyrone and Shelby moved into Lou-Lou's old apartment so that Alyssa and the baby could have this one. Tyrone wanted his little niece or nephew to have his own room.
I'm surprised Alyssa didn't want to move to the suburbs to raise the baby but Ricardo said she wanted to be by her family.
I'm running around the apartment looking for her and my anxiety's through the roof when I can't find her. Then I notice that the door to the balcony is partially open.
I step outside into the warm July evening air.
I find Alyssa standing there with a mug and she gives me her gorgeous smile, complete with her adorable dimple. I don't hesitate to cup her face in my hands and kiss her like it's my last breath.
When I pull away her eyes are still closed and she sighs. “God, I missed that.”
“I missed you.” I place a kiss on her belly. “The both of you.”
She hands me the mug, I take it with one hand and she grabs my other hand. “Come on, you're just in time to watch the sunset.”
It's only then that I take a look at the two rocking chairs that she has set up on the balcony.
Along with some bingo boards on the table.
“I didn't show up at court today because I knew you'd come home to me,” she whispers.
I take a sip of my hot chocolate before I press her hand to my lips and kiss it. “I love you.”
She takes a sip of her own hot chocolate. “ And I love you.”
It's then that I realize.
Without pain, you wouldn't know happiness. If you let the pain take over, you miss out on the good things, the things that really matter...like love and family.
If you don't find a way to make it through the pain...you miss out on the best parts of your life.
Epilogue (Jackson)
Pain. It hurts us. It pushes us. It punishes us.
Or, for the few poor souls out there like me...it defines us.
Yes, I've taken a life...and I would do it again in a heartbeat.
And one day, I will explain to my son the way the world works.
I will tell him, that the bad guys win far more often than the good guys do.
But I will raise him to know that in a world full of bad...that he should do good anyway.
I will tell him that I don't think I'm necessarily a good person, but I'm not a bad person, either.
I will tell him the truth.
I'm flawed. I'm human. I lead with my heart.
And that's okay, because I have a good one.
About the Author
If you liked the book, it would mean the absolute world to me if you left a review. It’s so hard for indie author’s to receive acknowledgment and reviews really make a difference for us.
But even more than that…I urge you to read the message on the next page.
Oh, and if you’re wondering if Lou-Lou and Ricardo will have their own story? You bet they will. I’ll be releasing a special ‘series/boxset’ titled- ‘Blame It on the Shame’. Follow me on facebook for more details.
I'm a lover of psychology, romance, erotica, dark romance, dark erotica, and anything thought provoking...except for math. I've always read books growing up, and after having a strange dream one night; I decided to just go for it and publish my first series.
Little did I know, I would end up falling head over heels in love with writing.
If I'm not researching, paying off student loan debt, or
writing a novel- you can usually find me watching my favorite series on Netflix, stealing my fiances t-shirts, or pondering the meaning of life.
Check my page for future novels. Also, feel free to start a discussion board/or leave a review if you're so inclined.
I value and appreciate all my fans reviews, thoughts, and discussions, as well as their time. Each and every single one of you are important to me.
Thanks for believing in me and giving me a shot. It has meant more to me than you'll ever know.
~ Happy Reading ~
For more news about what I’m working on next: Follow me on my Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ashley-Jade/788137781302982
Other Books Written By Ashley Jade
Twisted Fate series (books 1-4)
Black Widow Club
The Best Deception
What Happens in the Dark (books 1-3)
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
The National Domestic Violence Hotline
1-800-799-SAFE (7233), or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY).
If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence, I urge and I beg you to reach out.
You’re not alone…and I will pray for you every single day of my life.
Please, don’t blame yourself.
And just in case you never hear this…it’s not your fault. It’s NEVER your fault!
If you or anyone you know is a victim of sexual assault, again; I urge and I beg you to reach out.
It’s not your fault. It’s NEVER your fault! Please don’t ever blame yourself.
National Sexual Assault Hotline 800-656-HOPE (4673)
National Child Sexual Abuse Helpline
(Darkness to Light)
1-866-FOR-LIGHT (866-367-5444)
For rape & sexual assault victims call: 212-227-3000
or email : help@safehorizon.org
All calls are kept completely confidential.
And if you still can’t pick up that phone, you can always email ashleyjadeauthor@gmail.com I’ll never judge you, I’ll just listen <3
Acknowledgments
I like to keep these short and sweet.
First and foremost: Thank you my amazing fans...seriously, you rock! You’ll never know how much you all mean to me.
I can never thank you enough for sticking it out with me and hopefully now, I’m starting to make it worth your while and delivering the goods.
Either way, I’ll keep trying and giving you everything I’ve got.
I also vow never to make a book of mine above $2.99 while I’m still an un-signed indie author. If I ever lose my mind, you have every right to call me out on every social media site there is.
Check out my facebook page, twitter account, and page for more updates and new series/more novels. I love connecting with my fans! You guys give me that extra ‘push’ whenever I feel defeated. (I also like to give out arc’s from time to time.)
A special thank you to my Hammie: You are my love, my muse, my everything. I couldn't have done this without you.