The Last Princess

by Marissa Craig

  “He was young when he wrote that.”

  “But it’s still his feelings. He’s actually a good writer. He said he would pretend to love me and follow orders. He would win my favor to make our parents happy then cast me aside so he could follow his dreams. That’s exactly what’s happening.”

  It’s better she find that journal than the newer one. I can’t deny what she’s saying; there’s proof in that book. As his friend I should find a way to fix this but I keep thinking about how nice she looks crying.

  “He wrote about you too. You were a troublemaker,” she says.

  “That’s putting it lightly.”

  I sit down on the couch next to her. When I was her age I was in the academy hiding my ways and studying to pass a psych test. I got away with a lot of things cause Kyoya-sama had the influence to hide it all.

  “You never told me how you two met. You told me about your family but-”

  “After I killed my family’s killer I left and moved on the streets. I didn’t want any questions. I was declared missing.”

  “You were homeless?”

  “For a bit.”

  I look out the window and I feel her eyes on me. I’m not trying to get her sympathy. I never needed anyone’s sympathy; that’s why I ran away. The story hasn’t been told since it happened.

  “It was in this city,” I tell her. “I stole food and money. Slept wherever I could. Then one day the royal family went out for a tour of the city. I knew all about them. Kyoya-sama was my age and I had it in my head that he was like me. I wanted to be friends with him.”

  I admired him before I even knew him. His life seemed so easy. His parents and all the Han people loved him. They loved him just cause he was alive.

  “During their tour there was an assassination attempt on him-”

  “On Kyoya-sama!”

  “Yes. I killed the guy; stabbed him in the face but got shot in the process.”

  She looks worried. I reach over and touch her cheek. It’s nice to know she would make that face for me. I turn to her and she allows me to get closer; probably distracted.

  “I woke up surprised I was alive and Kyoya-sama was by my side. He thanked me and visited me every day until I got better. And then the king asked me to live with them. He said he would take care of me since I saved his son’s life.”

  “Did they know you were the missing boy?”

  “Of course he researched me before he made the decision. He told me to serve Kyoya-sama well. I already planned on it.”

  I’m too close to her. I pull away and focus on the window.

  “Thank you for telling me,” she says. “I know why he trusts you so much. But it seems unfair. He didn’t want to be with me so he left you to do it.”

  “It doesn’t mean I didn’t enjoy every minute of it.”

  “Why would you enjoy being my bodyguard? You haven’t seen any combat since you started.”

  “Somehow I’ve still been fulfilled.”

  I keep sneaking gazes at her. I know I’m wrong.

  “I’ve enjoyed it too,” she says to me. “You’re a lot of fun. You were always good at making me forget…you know.”

  It feels right to ask. I take a breath and turn to her again. She doesn’t even realize I’m asking to be with her.

  “Would you be alright if it stayed like this?” I ask her.

  I don’t even recognize my own voice; it’s timid. I don’t want to know her answer. I get up quickly and walk back to the chair. I could never be with her. Aside from the promise, I’m just too different.

  “Ayato-san.”

  I turn quickly hearing my name. No one calls me that except Kyoya-sama. I haven’t been sweet Ayato since my parent’s murder. When her voice says it, it feels like layers are being stripped from me.

  “You can’t replace him,” she says softly. “My heart still wants Kyoya-sama even if he doesn’t want me. I know I’ve spent more time with you than I have with him but… nothing can replace what he means to me. He is my hope.”

  She made her decision. I can’t convert my feelings for her then. I can’t play nice and take Kyoya-sama’s place. Calm down. Don’t be rash. I sheathe my sword away from her eyes. I can’t hurt her for her words although I want to.

  I’m trembling cause I want to strangle her for rejecting me. She’s rejecting me! The one that’s been by her side this entire time. The one that’s covered Kyoya-sama’s ass with so many lies. I’ve suppressed so much of myself just to see her smile at me. I….can’t do this anymore.

  “I accept your choice,” I mumble.

  “Choice?”

  “I have to report in. I don’t want to waste people’s time looking for you. Stay here and try not to get noticed.”

  “Alright.”

  She will scream for me tonight. I’m turned on just thinking about it.

  Chapter 46: Setsuna

  How can anyone go to sleep when there’s so much happening out there. The lights never turn off in this city. This is enough for me. With Kira-kun in the palace I felt so trapped. No matter where I went there was a reminder that Kyoya-sama abandoned me. Kira-kun says it plainly and this book says it all too.

  It’s been a while. Captain Saki should be back by now. He must be in a lot of trouble for taking me and he can’t get off the phone. It’s my fault. He would never say that though. He’s….very protective over me.

  It can’t go on being just the two of us. He’s not my love, he’s just my guardian. And maybe what I said made it seem like he wasn’t doing a good job. I often miss these social cues.

  I’ll sleep by the window; he never said it wasn’t okay. I drag the blanket from the bed and get on my knees to pray. All I want is what I was promised. It sounds selfish, I know but….

  It got darker. I stand up and look around. The city lights illuminate the room but it’s still not enough light. I always had this fear of complete darkness. Feeling around for the furniture I make it to the bed then grab the lamp.

  “You leaving the palace is like an invitation for me.”

  No! I swing the lamp back as hard as I can. It crashes against his face but he’s unfazed. I swing again and he grabs my wrist. His grip is so tight. I drop it.

  “You miss me?” he asks.

  It’s been so many years. Did my parent’s killer come cause I finally left the palace.

  “Captain-”

  He covers my mouth with my back to him. I can’t see him but I’ll always remember that dark voice. If I’m calm maybe he’ll talk to me rationally like before. Why did I leave the palace? They kept me inside for a reason.

  I stay still and he releases me. No screaming. I just need to see what he wants. Captain Saki will be back soon.

  “What brings you outside your fortress?” he asks me.

  I tilt my head back. He’s checking around the room. I turn and face him cautiously.

  “I just needed some space.”

  “I must say it’s really good to see you,” he says.

  “This can’t be the first time you’ve seen me. You’ve been watching me, right?”

  “You think you’re that special.”

  “Aren’t I?”

  Just need to keep him talking. Captain Saki will hear and save me. I search the room for him. He’s stopped. This can’t be good. He charges at me with his sword and I fall back to the bed. I have to stay calm. But his blade is right at my neck.

  His body hovers over me; it’s the closest he’s been. He seems different than the last time we met. He’s lost his cool and collected demeanor.

  “You think I can’t kill you,” he says.

  “I think you can but you don’t want to.”

  “You’re right. I don’t want to. I’ll make you scream. I’ll make you scream for the rest of your life. You’re gonna always remember what I’m about do to you.”

  I look into his eyes and I know what he’s thinking. He can’t do that to me. He drops the sword and pulls the ribbon from my hair.

  “
Please stop.”

  “Yes, keep saying that.”

  I can’t stay calm anymore. I push at him. When I release the blade on my arm he dodges then grabs my arm violently.

  We roll across the bed as I kick him. It’s not strong enough. My only defense is ripped from my arm. At the edge he turns soft. Touching my face gently

  “You’re just like those flowers you like so much. Let’s see what’s under the first petal.”

  He pulls out a small knife. I push at his face and he points the knife inches from my eye.

  “Put your hands above your head and don’t move them.”

  Would obeying make it any better? Whether I fight or submit it won’t stop what he’s about to do. I raise my hands above my head. His expression is covered but I’m sure he’s pleased.

  I start crying when he pulls at my sash. I close my eyes expecting him to kiss me but he cuts me on my shoulder. I open my eyes and see him studying me. Intrigued by every part of me. He pulls at more of my layers until he stares mesmerized at my exposed skin. He’s not doing what I feared. Maybe if I say the right thing he might give up on all this.

  “I know you don’t want to hurt me,” I whisper.

  “But I do.”

  “Maybe we could be friends.”

  “Is this really something a friend would do?”

  The knife is cold. He traces a heart on my stomach; it tickles.

  “You love me, don’t you? Is that why you did it? You wanted to keep me away from my family so you could be with me,” I ask him.

  “No. I started to love you after.”

  His voice sounds different there; soft and familiar.

  “Don’t think you understand!” he screams.

  He’s swift cutting my arm, then my stomach. He’s making little incisions everywhere. Not enough to kill me but just to leave marks. I keep my hands in place thinking it can get worse if I move them.

  “I didn’t say I understood,” I plead with him.

  He moves down to my legs and I shut my eyes again. He cuts my thigh and I scream.

  “Tell me that you like this,” he says.

  He kisses my thigh sucking the blood. I cringe and hold my mouth. He can’t do this to me. Where is Captain Saki? Why won’t he rescue me?

  He moves up my thigh kissing my underwear and I snap up. I kick his chest and we struggle again. Who is this man? It can only get worse.

  I grab his mask and tear it away from him. He swings blindly turning his head away. Am I gasping for air out of shock? No. Have I really been cut? I touch my neck and feel blood. I’m dying, aren’t I?

  It’s all blurry but I see him fighting to save me. Cursing and panicking; he does it all like he cares about my survival. Who is this man? I don’t think I’ll get to find out.

  “Setsuna-san,” he cries out.

  Please Kyoya-sama. I need you.

  Chapter 47: Kyoya

  “Thank you for giving me a lift back,” she says to me.

  “What were you doing in Morinaga anyway?” I ask.

  “Visiting my father. I spent most of my break with him.”

  She’s smiling. It’s nice she can get in touch with her family again; there’s hardly any left. Yumiko-san rides with me in my jet. It’s rare that we’re alone together. Seeing someone outside of politics is just what I need right now. Family is the only thing I can trust; they’re the only ones I can be honest with for the most part. I consider Yumiko-san like my family. Very unexpected.

  I’ve put it off long enough but it’s time to go see Setsuna-san. She’ll be excited to see me I’m sure. I could stay away for a lifetime and she would still welcome me.

  “I…haven’t seen Kantarou-sama in months. How is he?”

  She may not want to hear this but she should be over him by now.

  “He’s been trying out some women. He’s expected to be married at thirty. So he needs to be seen with a steady woman about now.”

  “Oh? Why thirty?”

  “It’s just customary.”

  A servant delivers my tea. Been trying to cut down on the alcohol. I’m going to be married soon; I can’t keep pushing down my feelings.

  “I…um….”

  “You’re not over him are you?” I ask her.

  “No, I’ve been dating too. But does he plan on loving any of these girls?”

  “No, it’s more about the image. He’ll probably pick a small woman. She’ll have to be accomplished but not more accomplished than him.”

  It’s not going to be her. He should have set her straight already.

  “Well you’re a good example of arranged marriages working out. I’m sure he’ll find the right one,” she says to me.

  “You don’t sound satisfied-”

  “I love him okay! I’m not satisfied with him being with someone else.”

  “You really want to be queen?” I ask.

  “It’s not about being queen-”

  “But it is. Kantarou isn’t a simple man that you can just date. Give up on him.”

  She turns away from me. Guess we’ll be flying in silence.

  “Setsuna-chan tells me everything,” she says to me. “But she’s been oddly quiet about her relationship with you.”

  I wish we could fly in silence. Two hours to sit through her questions. She’ll be relentless.

  “I know you haven’t visited in three years. Have you been calling her?” she asks me.

  “That’s not your business.”

  “How isn’t it?”

  “Because what goes on between me and Setsuna-san is between me and Setsuna-san. She knows that. That’s why she hasn’t been talking to you.”

  “You wanna play it like that, huh?”

  “Don’t interfere.”

  My last line made her scared. I’m sure no one knows we haven’t been talking. Yumiko-san reminds me of the press. They have the same questions. I slump down in my chair; I’ll just pretend to be asleep.

  I spoke about giving up and letting Kira have her or letting her pursue whoever she wants but I can’t do that anymore. I’m learning to live with what I’ve done. I couldn’t have done that with her at my side. After this time, I realize that I miss her. I stayed away to satisfy my own conscious.

  Three years haven’t been spent alone. I had women satisfy me but they never meant anything. I’ll have to teach the princess how to do it. She should be old enough.

  “I know you’re not asleep,” she says to me.

  “Me pretending should show you that I don’t want to be bothered.”

  When we land the guards take hold of me and rush me to father’s office. I’m sure there’s a lot to yell at me about. He doesn’t like how I’m running Morinaga and I’m sure mother will chime in on how I don’t visit.

  Inside mother’s crying and father is holding her. Not their normal loving embrace.

  “What’s going on?” I ask.

  “Close the door.”

  Nothing made me shake this much in years. I know Kira was supposed to be coming home. Did something happen to him?

  “Is Kira okay?” I ask

  “It’s Setsuna-san,” he says to me.

  Setsuna-san….

  “She tried to kill herself,” he says to me.

  My head throbs with Ayato-san’s warning. “I think this time was too much for her. You really should have said something.” He warned me. Staying away was selfish; I thought about what I needed and refused to acknowledge her. Mother keeps crying

  “Is she okay?” I ask him.

  “She had an argument with Kira. I took his side and she ran away,” mother cries out. “I should have comforted her.”

  Father touches her shoulder to calm her. I need to know if Setsuna-san is okay. Why am I just finding out about this. Phone lines aren’t safe.

  “She ran away with Captain Saki. He said he would keep her away for the night to cool her head,” father tells me. “He stepped away to alert the palace and when he returned to her, that’s when he found her…with her
throat slit.”

  No….that’s not like her. She’s always been strong. She would never. I try to stay calm but I just want to run to her. She wanted to speak to me; I never thought she needed it.

  “Is it true you haven’t talked to her since you left?” he asks me.

  “I-”

  “After what happened to her, after knowing what she’s been through you forget about her?”

  “I don’t need to hear this from you. Just tell me where she is.”

  “How could you-”

  “You were the one that wanted this to just be for show. I don’t need you on my back about how I treat her! Now where is she!”

  “Kyoya, don’t,” mother cries.

  “I’ll find her myself.”

  I leave the office and Ayato-san stares at me. I pause and then we both start walking.

  “Nice to see you again, Kyoya-sama.”

  I don’t even know where her bedroom is. I keep walking despite that.

  “What’s been going on?”

  “She’s been doubting you for some time now. She confirmed it all when she found your journal.”

  My journal. I always keep it with me. I look over at him to elaborate.

  “The one you kept as a teenager,” he says. “She read all of it.”

  “Where is she?”

  I stop. I just need to know where she is. Those words were from a me that didn’t know her.

  “She’s been sneaking off to your room lately,” he says to me.

  I take one step to reach her and stop. He was with her this whole time. Looking back at him I scan his eyes to make sure all of this is the truth.

  “I’m sorry about what happened. I’ve always been afraid of getting too close to her,” he says to me.

  “I know you’ve done your best.”

  But I know all this is a lie. Setsuna-san would never try to harm herself. She didn’t try it after her parents were murdered; she wouldn’t try it now.

  I’m suspicious of him for a reason. I know he wants to play with her. Since their first meeting he’s had some type of attraction for her. I figured he would have some self-control; his promise to me should trump his own desires.

  When we were at the academy we were surrounded by all types of willing little girls and women. They patrol the town looking to claw into a young cadet and ride it out until he’s successful.